But just before we begin...
A big Thank you!
to all of you who
took the time
to post your dessert recipes.
Hope everyone enjoys them!
I had forgotten to do that. I'll try and get one posted as well...if I remember!
Mind you the last time
I sped in the States,
I got out of it.
I suspect it would have been
too much paperwork.
Never underestimate what people will do in order to avoid paperwork.
I did lie quite convincingly
through my teeth, mind you.
"Miles per hour? I don't know.
I have kilometers.
That's divide by decimal six, right?"
Seeing his eyes glaze over
was strangely comforting.
Never underestimate what people will do in order to avoid doing math.
This will be my first
TR that I can say was
very moving.
Brings a tear to my eye.
Oh, great. Is this one of them touchy-feely TR's?
Is this a kissing book?
A rather dark Monday morning.
2:15am to be precise.
I was dressed, packed,
locked and loaded
and out of the house by 3:30am.
Look. You try to get moving
faster than that when you're
constantly distracted by a
nice warm bed calling out to you.
At that hour, I'd be lucky to be able to walk on two legs.
Only people on the road at that
time were fools and idiots.
I'll let you guess which one I was.
No bonus points for saying "both".
I already know too many of you will.
Dang it!
I mean you are completely
at the mercy of a person who
can seize you, your property
and your right to sing "Stayin' Alive".
That last one WOULD be a mercy.
Hmm... come to think of it,
considering my singing prowess...
That'd probably be classified
as a justifiable seizure.
See? Toldja.
(Look. I'm Canadian.
Anyone with a gun is imposing.)

Don't give him any reason
to decide that it's never too early
for a cavity search.
It's always too early for a cavity search. Even if it's late.
"Are you constipated? You look like you're constipated."
There it is!
I could so be a spy.
Except for the whole "danger" part.
Yep. And the "holding up under questioning" part.
I cross into North Dakota.
The flattest land on Earth.
Flat Earthers consider it concave.


The song is no longer helping.
More.... hindering.
Disco never helps anything.
Water is wet. Chernobyl is not a good real estate investment.
I stop at the much larger
metropolis of Fargo
(population 120,762)
for some gas and caffeine.
And bratwurst???
I guess it was too early for that.
What defines a cool store name?
Easy. If I think it is.
Simple enough.
Seems legit.
I mean a shirt
from Bob's HD in
Nowheresville might not
get the same consideration
as say... Chicago.
Counterpoint: How many other people have a shirt from Bob's HD in Nowheresville? Probably fewer than Chicago.
I overheard a clerk
mention to a co-worker
"Yes. I get it. The Canadian
dollar is the same as ours."
Obviously, several of my
fellow countrymen and women
had been sharing this "news"
with them, much to their
annoyance.

I get it, though. I mean, if you wait for something your whole life, the one time it actually happens, you really want to live in the moment.
By the way, did you hear that the Eagles won the Super Bowl?
While I was embarrassed
on behalf of my fellow Canadians,
I'm betting they wouldn't mind
so much now if it got them their
jobs back.

Be careful what you wish for.
Hour eleven
Driving.
Exciting TR so far, huh?
Found a cool Homer Simpson sleeping gif to put here and now the image embedding isn't working for me. Sigh.
Guess what!!!!
More driving.
See above comment.
This is gonna be close!
I make it to the front door
of House of Harley Davidson
at one minute to the hour.
and... Yes! Still open.
Although it's obvious
they're getting ready to close.
I snag my last poker chip
of the day and leave so they
can close up.
Pretty sure I hear the <click!>
of the door locking b
Whoa! Nice timing! If you had left at 3:31 a.m....
I have to drive 30 minutes
back the way I came.
And it's all Mark's fault.
@Captain_Oblivious had
recommended a restaurant
here and, well...
I certainly didn't want to
insult him by not going.
Not at all. You've insulted me in so many other ways by now.
This better be good.
That's all I'm sayin'.
Thirty minutes back
the way I came...
grumble, grumble...
Thanks, Mark.
Hey, I didn't plan out this dumb itinerary.
I think I ordered the Roast Pork Loin*
*Winner of the Great Iowa Pork Cook Off.
but I'm not positive.
Oh boy! Must have been an incredible meal if you can't remember what you ordered.
(I always wonder about these "winners".
"So how many places competed?"
"Just us, sir.")


Often wondered the same thing.
The Shed's World Famous Baked Potato Soup.
I'd never heard of it,
but if they say it's "world famous",
who am I to argue!
I thought of that exact same scene when I read it!
Everything was pretty good.
Thanks, Mark!
Whew.
I mean, uh, you're welcome!

I had the breakfast food there, so I had no idea if dinner was any good or not. Too bad you couldn't get the ginormous cinnamon roll, but there's no way you'd take down that sucker by yourself.
I was too full to even taste them.
You really think I'm going to fill
up on veggies when there's
apple sauce???

Truth. Those veggies are getting pushed right to the side.
Dude.
Oh. Hey
@Captain_Oblivious ,
still think you drive as much
in one day as I do?
You win.

To be fair, though, I have a wife, a teen, and a toddler in the van with me.
But... the journey
is the destination.
Unless the journey is through North Dakota.
Not one, but two locks
on the garbage chute.
Plus a latch.
These people take their
trash very seriously, people!
"You wanna throw something away?
You're gonna have to get past this first!"

Makes you wonder what they found in there that necessitated the locks.
Thanks for sticking around
for the world's most boring update.
I appreciate... uh... hello??
Hello????
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
And... just out of curiosity...
(for anyone (anyone?) still reading)
Did you see it?
I did! Took me a couple of passes. But that ain't no chicken on the weather vane.