And I did. Until 9:00am.
Not nearly as much as I
wanted, but that's the
way the cookie crumbles.
Ever since I had kids, I can't sleep past 7:00 a.m. 9:00 is incredibly late!
Hmmm... maybe it was
cookie crumbs in bed
that woke me up.
Wait... I had ice cream,
not cookies.
Ew. Now that's a mess.
So I added on five hours.
As one does.
I have decided that I am a big baby.
(Every woman reading this has already
deduced this.
About every man, actually.)
HEY!
Ok, maybe a little, but it hurts to see that out in the open.
Fifteen minutes later, I was on the road
when I met my first redneck.
Is that a correct term?
Do you have rednecks in NC?
Looks like
@SoccerDogWithEars has you covered there.
This monstrosity pulls up
beside me and...
Just sits there.
He doesn't pass, he just
keeps pace with me.
I hate that.
Either pass me or don't.
Don't just drive along
beside me.
Oh, man. One of my pet peeves! I also hate it when two cars block both lanes ahead of me by driving the same speed. They have rear-view mirrors, right? They can see the line of cars piling up?
I got out of my car and replaced
the dangling gas cap.
Whoopsie!

Nice of the driver to help you out.
Nice of that young man
to help me out like that.
Did I mention he had
a nice truck?
A job is more than just
a place to work.
It's also a place where
you cry in the bathroom.


More if you add in time
to stop for gas and
again to look like an idiot
while you're pulled over
on the shoulder, reattaching
your dangling gas cap.
Yeah, but nobody would leave it off in the first place.
I'm pretty used to looking
like an idiot anyway,
so I pretty much nailed that part.
Dang it! You had 20 readers ready to jump on that joke.
Wow, nice shot!
Sometimes when you follow
the masses... the "M" is silent.

I think I've heard you use that one before.
A perfect opportunity to take
some photos without heads
or bodies in the way.
Excellent!
Ladies and gentlemen...
The backside of water!!

Looks like Schweitzer Falls, after the famous Dr. Albert Falls.
"We don't have any.
This is an outlet."
Uh... what?
I've been to over a hundred
Harley stores.
Including some that only sell
shirts and novelties (no bikes.)
This is the first time I've
encountered anything like this.
They
all have their own chips.
Well...that's a bummer.
My next stop would be much
more satisfying.
Buttermilk Sky Pie Shop,
in Knoxville, TN.
Oh, man. Now this sounds promising.
I sashayed in and ordered
up an apple pie and an orange soda.
I can't say which was better,
that's like comparing apples to oranges.
I see what you did there.
Wow, that looks legit!
It's pie, people!
(Do not, under any
circumstances, ever
order people pie, people.)
What about soylent green pie?
And I can neither confirm
nor deny that I might have
also had a lemon meringue pie.
Attaboy.
That was it. Two words.
Gotta admire the restraint
to engage in superfluous
conversation.
It's that old-fashioned Southern hospitality. Nothing like it anywhere.
Info procured, I went off
to find my room.
I don't remember the exact room
number, but it started with a higher
number, like 11 or 12,
so I got in the elevator.
Once in, I quickly saw that the hotel
didn't have 11 or 12 floors.
I rode up to the top with a couple
other people, then road back down.
My room was on the main floor.
Of course.
Made perfect sense.
All the other hotels on the planet
were doing it wrong. That's all.
Wow. I guess that's one way to address it.
I also made sure the door locks
were firmly in place.
So I wonder...was this the same Country Inn I stayed in near Atlanta? Was it in the southern part of the city, next to the old Braves ballpark? Because man, that was a skeevy one.
Did you see it in this chapter?
Stealing airplane plasticware again, I see.
Eh. I'm not a huge fan of pie. Too much crust, not enough yummy stuff.
This is incorrect.