Can you find ANY logic in this???

[lyeag]

Ok, disclaimer, I know this is petty. I just don't get the logic behind my MIL's thinking.

Background-MIL is perfectly healthy, can drive, is in her 50's, doesn't work, babysit, or belong to any social activities. For the past few holidays she sends a package of signed cards in one envelope, one for each child, and then one check. She asks me to cash the check and put money in each card and seal it.

She obviously went shopping for the cards, and to the post office to mail out the oversized envelope. She has plenty of money, knows how to work the ATM, and has a debit card to get cash back at stores. What gives???? I swear she just likes making me do one more thing during my day.


Please help me because I just don't get it. I know I should be happy she thinks of my kids, but this woman ALWAYS has an agenda. She makes my oldest child so nervous she gets sick being around her for extended periods of time.

 

[Beth76]

Maybe she thinks you'd give different amounts to each child? Honestly I have no idea and it would tick me off too. I would probably spend the money on myself and say "sorry kids grandma didn't send you anything". Kidding!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ok, disclaimer, I know this is petty.
....
Please help me because I just don't get it. I know I should be happy she thinks of my kids, but this woman ALWAYS has an agenda. She makes my oldest child so nervous she gets sick being around her for extended periods of time.

No, given this last quote, this is not petty.
I refuse to subject my child to toxic people.

edited to add: And, no, you may never 'get it'. I would not waste too much of my emotional energy trying.

You have my understanding and support and when it comes to inlaw issues!!!!

 

[kdibattista]

Maybe she doesn't want to send cash in the mail

 

[Beth76]

Maybe she doesn't want to send cash in the mail

She could send 3 different checks. Why make it more difficult for the OP?

 

[kdibattista]

She could send 3 different checks. Why make it more difficult for the OP?

Huh

My take is the MIL is sending a check and asked the OP to cash the check, therefore giving cash to the children instead of a check. I thought that was the issue.. maybe I'm misreading . My point was that maybe the MIL did not want to send cash in the mail (I know I wouldn't), so therefore asked the DIL to cash the checks for her. Now I think I confused myself

 

[lyeag]

Maybe she doesn't want to send cash in the mail

I thought of that, but she has sent cash in the past. (Who knows, she's paranoid by nature, maybe she read something that scared her not to send cash in the mail) By the way, we aren't talking about a huge amount of money. 10 for each of my 3 kids. She knows we do most of our banking with an out of state bank. We do have a small account on post, but we live a good 15 minutes from post.

I think you guys are right, I should't even bother trying to figure it out.

 

[MAKmom]

That is really wierd. How many times have you done this? Tell DH to do it its his mother.

Call her up & say "MIL I was talking to my peeps on the Diz & they want to know the logic behind the cards & checks thing."

" How did it come up you ask? Well there was a thread about wierd things people do & I thought of you!"

 

[lyeag]

Maybe she thinks you'd give different amounts to each child? Honestly I have no idea and it would tick me off too. I would probably spend the money on myself and say "sorry kids grandma didn't send you anything". Kidding!

Sad thing is, she is coming in May and will quiz each kid on what they did with their money.

 

[Beth76]

Sad thing is, she is coming in May and will quiz each kid on what they did with their money.

Hee hee! I think you and I have the same MIL issues. I guess I can see the point of wanting the kids to have cash instead of a check and not wanting to mail cash, but I still have to go with PITA MIL making more work for the DIL.

 

[Marseeya]

Maybe she's afraid the bank won't cash the check for the kids. My FIL does the same thing, but it doesn't bother me. He's really odd, but we have a good relationship with him.

Better than MIL. She either doesn't send the kids a card or gift at all, or sends it a year after the fact. I can't tell you how many times we've gotten clothing the kids can't wear and we're stuck with and can't return because she's lost the receipt or she bought them somewhere we have no access to.

 

[lyeag]

Hee hee! I think you and I have the same MIL issues. I guess I can see the point of wanting the kids to have cash instead of a check and not wanting to mail cash, but I still have to go with PITA MIL making more work for the DIL.

I just knew my Dis friends would see things my way!

PITA is an understatement. She is coming next month and even the neighbors are dreading it....

 

[jennyl772003]

Do all of your kids have the same birthday? Or does she expect you to save the card and cash, and then stuff it at the appropriate time?

There is just no way to make sense of it, don't try!

 

[lyeag]

Do all of your kids have the same birthday? Or does she expect you to save the card and cash, and then stuff it at the appropriate time?

There is just no way to make sense of it, don't try!

No, this is for Easter, but she has been doing this for anytime she sends a gift. 2 of my kids have birthdays very close so she does do it for them also now.

 

[tar heel]

My mother-in-law, who might be the most wonderful person on earth, does this b/c she doesn't want to mail cash but wants the kids to have cash instead of checks.

 

[lyeag]

My mother-in-law, who might be the most wonderful person on earth, does this b/c she doesn't want to mail cash but wants the kids to have cash instead of checks.

I can see the reason, but my MIL used to do it all the time. Also, the way she seals up packages and envelopes, there is no way anyone could ever get into them without it being very obvious.

Glad to see some people have nice MILs .

 

[TreslovesWDW]

I think mil's just do things to make ya mad...lol There is not a logic to it , just that it is her way to do it an that's that. My mil does many things to make me want to scream, just a quick one my ds b-day was Oct 2 he turned 4.She bought him size 7 clothes and thought that it was fine and said well he will grow into them ya in 2 or 3 years. Think about he is 4 ...and she has 7 other grand kids ..DUH No offense to any mil out there I know they aren't all like this. Instead of showing her I am mad I say whatever and maybe someday she will stop doing dumb things.

 

[Rella Bella]

Don't waste your energy trying to figure her out...

Gifts are gifts... if you get them, enjoy them... or toss them
People give them either because they like to OR because they feel obligated to

In our family we have all kinds:
1- Let's exchange gifts but don't spend more than $5.00 to buy me something I would really like or use because I will only spend $5.00 whether it's something you can use or not and I don't want to feel guilty

2 - Don't buy for me or my family because I don't want to buy anything for you and even if you know that and want to buy something anyway I don't want you to because I'll feel guilty. (Yes, they actually said that.)

3- I bought this for you because that's what I like to do -- but you had better write a nice thank you note because by golly I deserve it after all I went through to buy you that really nice gift

4- You gave something? That's so un-necessary.

And occasionally the one that makes my heart sing!

5- I bought this because it reminded me of you and I just couldn't wait until your actual birthday to give it to you!

I could keep going but you get the idea. I have finally decieded that you just have to stop trying to understand and go along with who ever thinks what ever they think... so I have 25 rules for my 25 relatives.

Oh, and I so understand about MIL visits!!
I'm sending prayers, hugs and Pixie dust!!

 

[melanie18]

Wow. She sounds.......interesting.

That would make me a little crazy too. Would she get offended if you asked her why? I'd rather have the cash get lost in the mail then someone have my account number off my check.

 

[lyeag]

Wow. She sounds.......interesting.

That would make me a little crazy too. Would she get offended if you asked her why? I'd rather have the cash get lost in the mail then someone have my account number off my check.

Umm offended? This is the woman who states during every trip that it will be her last one because it is so stressful on her. (It is stressful because we don't agree with every word that comes out of her mouth.)

This is the woman who told me she didn't want to try to make any friends. They are too much trouble. They do something nice and then you feel obligated to do something for them. OK, WHATEVER.