Can you cure a spoiled teen?

[eliza61]

Evidence that I'm right: When she returned, she continued to yell at her mom . . . India was a different world, not her own world. She may KNOW that she's luck, but she isn't changed inside.

I also disagree with her that kids -- especially girls -- will become this way around age 13. My not-quite 16 year old and my not-quite 13-year old don't talk to me the way that Taylor talks to her mom.

Oh, yeah . . . and this idea is far from original. You know about MTV's show "My Super Sweet Sixteen", in which wealthy parents shower their 16-year old daughter-zillas with outrageously expensive parties including incredible venues, famous rap stars as entertainment, etc.? Well, they did a spin-off show: The most spoiled kids from "Sweet Sixteen" were shipped off to other countries to live with kids their own age. My daughter was hooked on it momentarily, and every show had a predictable plot: Child is angry, child resists attempts to work with the host family, child reaches rock bottom, child sees the light, child returns home a different person.

That's what I found so offensive. Rich, poor, doctor, lawyer, Indian chief. that just showed total disrespect for her mother. My sons never, ever talked to me that way. Of course I often threatened their ability to chew with real teeth if they ever did.

 

[dgthree]

Sadly, the kid was just "keeping up with the Joneses" at her elite private high school. I'd be willing to bet she's surrounded by brats who are more spoiled than she is.

I can't believe I'm quoting the NY Post as a good source of information, but I first read the story there, and it has a few more details, not to mention a follow up with the daughter.

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/mom_how_my_spoiled_monster_of_Ai0qjHucMLxb9bsmkBk9iL

Ok a mom notices her daughter 14 is spending 1100 bucks a month shopping and decides to send her to India to work with the poor because NOW she realized kid is spoiled. and in 20 years people will wonder how this kid got feelings of entitlement.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting...-mumbai-slum-lesson-poverty/story?id=10284375

So can this kid be "budgetized"?

 

[wdwmom0f3]

There are no homeless, no soup kitchens, no disenfranchised people in NYC? Can't help but think that going to India to find poor people is overkill, to state it mildly.

Because she is spoiled!

 

[ceecee]

Sounds like the mom is out of touch...the 14 year old couldn't spend the $ unless her mom was giving it to her! I think volunteering a a homeless shelter or soup kitchen in NYC may have been a much better lesson. These TV shows don't help either. We watched a show about weddings where the girl spent $10,000 on just her dress! $5000.00 on flowers...my whole wedding was less! She said she deserved the best and took out loans to afford it. I would be embarassed, it was like she was showing off.

 

[mickeymaker2003]

Sounds like the mom is out of touch...the 14 year old couldn't spend the $ unless her mom was giving it to her! I think volunteering a a homeless shelter or soup kitchen in NYC may have been a much better lesson. These TV shows don't help either. We watched a show about weddings where the girl spent $10,000 on just her dress! $5000.00 on flowers...my whole wedding was less! She said she deserved the best and took out loans to afford it. I would be embarassed, it was like she was showing off.

Those giant weddings are an interesting choice... Personally, I'd rather have a down payment for a house than a one day party.

 

[marthachick]

Sounds like the mom is out of touch...the 14 year old couldn't spend the $ unless her mom was giving it to her! I think volunteering a a homeless shelter or soup kitchen in NYC may have been a much better lesson. These TV shows don't help either. We watched a show about weddings where the girl spent $10,000 on just her dress! $5000.00 on flowers...my whole wedding was less! She said she deserved the best and took out loans to afford it. I would be embarassed, it was like she was showing off.

I want to see how many of these people are still married after a few years! If they are this hung up on having a "perfect day" how spoiled would they be to live with??? "Reality" TV - NOT!

 

[DCLbrideSept2009]

Um, the way to teach kids the value of a dollar is pretty simple... they can spend whatever money THEY EARN. My almost 16-yo dd has some pretty spoiled friends. Pretty much all of her friends, their parents bought them a car for their 16th birthday. Some even got the car before they actually had their license. One of her friends just turned 16 and her parents got her a Volvo Crossover - about $30,000 or so. My dd gets to USE our 1999 Honda Accord that just happens to be our third/extra car right now. It is NOT hers, it is OURS, but she can USE it. She will pay half of her insurance each month. Don't have the insurance money this month? Well, you're not driving until you do! And you'll be charged a late fee. (Um, that's the way it works in the real world, honey!) we'll pay for her gas to get to school and then any errands she runs for us (like picking her sister up from the dance studio that is about 10 miles or so away). Other than that, she's on her own. It amazes me how parents will just buy their kids everything they want. Why??? Yes, my dd has "complained" about it. But one of these days, she will thank me.

 

[ceecee]

My SIL cashed in her retirement account to pay for my niece's fancy wedding. $25,000 was the total about 10 years ago...the marriage lasted for just over two years!

 

[MrsPete]

Sounds like the mom is out of touch...the 14 year old couldn't spend the $ unless her mom was giving it to her! I think volunteering a a homeless shelter or soup kitchen in NYC may have been a much better lesson.

Yes, I agree. What this girl needs is to see ON A REGULAR BASIS that people right here in America go without things.
And at the same time her mom needs to give her enough money for her NEEDS but not her WANTS.

We watched a show about weddings where the girl spent $10,000 on just her dress! $5000.00 on flowers...my whole wedding was less! She said she deserved the best and took out loans to afford it. I would be embarassed, it was like she was showing off.

If borrowing for a wedding is showing off, then I'm not impressed. She was showing that she has good credit and bad sense.

I wonder if that girl has thought to figure up how many hours she'll have to work to pay off that dress and those flowers. That's the kind of thing I use with my girls to teach them the value of a dollar. And mine are both shaping up to have good financial sense.

My SIL cashed in her retirement account to pay for my niece's fancy wedding. $25,000 was the total about 10 years ago...the marriage lasted for just over two years!

That's very sad.