Can someone truly be this innocent/clueless??

[tlbwriter]

We started talking about me buying a new car, since my car really needed to be replaced sooner than later. He seriously looked at me and said, "why would you get a car loan? why not just buy it straight out?" Like everyone on the world could afford a brand new BMW (yes...thats what his parents bought him). Even if I could buy a brand new POS, I could never have afforded to after school, with $80,000 debt from student loans, to buy a new car straight out....wishful thinking.

He was totally serious by the way.....He just didn't get it.

This is probably about affluence as much as cluelessness. If everyone in his immediate circle has money, he probably thinks everyone in his expanded circle has money too, or else how could they afford to be in his circle? How can anyone afford to go to college but not be able to write a check for a car?

My mom had a similar situation with a coworker who didn't understand how anyone could live on less than $100K a year. Well, everyone in my mom's position made considerably less than that, but it didn't occur to this person that someone with a degree and a decent job could possibly make less than $100K. And survive!

 

[bdcp]

We are parents who paid for our kids schooling and provided a car for them to drive (we owned the cars but they were responsible for them) it but they are far from ignorant about money. The issue isn't what they are given, it's what they are taught. They worked during summers and had to pay for their own entertainment and books while in school. The bigger issue is some parents don't have expectations from their child other than that they finish school. Both our boys (24 and 27) are independent and haven't lived with us for several years. The oldest bought a townhouse and is paying off his car with no other debt. The youngest is renting with a friend and is getting ready to buy his first new car with no other debt. So, there is a lot more to this than kids who have been given a lot. It's kids who haven't been taught anything.

And then there are the girls (mostly) who seem to think they're supposed to be ignorant or enjoy playing a game. I see way too many girls raised with absolutely everything paid for by daddy and when they start dating, they can't understand why the guys can't get them whatever they want or take them where they want. I mean seriously when you have 8 and 9 years olds with cell phones, getting manicures every week and having their hair highlighted, all paid for by mommy and daddy, is it any wonder they have expectations and are ignorant about life in general? My boys complain that so many of the girls they met in college were so shallow and superficial that they just didnt' date much. They've also told us how many of the kids they went to school with didn't know how to write a check or even a few that didn't know credit cards required payments.

And this constant, don't "judge" people, etc is exactly why there are kids with these issues today. Too many people believe the garbage that self-esteem is built by praising someone all the time and never saying anything "negative". NOT TRUE. Self-esteem is built in a person by their OWN accomplishments, not what anyone else says or does for them.

 

[dfchelbay]

We are parents who paid for our kids schooling and provided a car for them to drive (we owned the cars but they were responsible for them) it but they are far from ignorant about money. The issue isn't what they are given, it's what they are taught. They worked during summers and had to pay for their own entertainment and books while in school. The bigger issue is some parents don't have expectations from their child other than that they finish school. Both our boys (24 and 27) are independent and haven't lived with us for several years. The oldest bought a townhouse and is paying off his car with no other debt. The youngest is renting with a friend and is getting ready to buy his first new car with no other debt. So, there is a lot more to this than kids who have been given a lot. It's kids who haven't been taught anything.

And then there are the girls (mostly) who seem to think they're supposed to be ignorant or enjoy playing a game. I see way too many girls raised with absolutely everything paid for by daddy and when they start dating, they can't understand why the guys can't get them whatever they want or take them where they want. I mean seriously when you have 8 and 9 years olds with cell phones, getting manicures every week and having their hair highlighted, all paid for by mommy and daddy, is it any wonder they have expectations and are ignorant about life in general? My boys complain that so many of the girls they met in college were so shallow and superficial that they just didnt' date much. They've also told us how many of the kids they went to school with didn't know how to write a check or even a few that didn't know credit cards required payments.

And this constant, don't "judge" people, etc is exactly why there are kids with these issues today. Too many people believe the garbage that self-esteem is built by praising someone all the time and never saying anything "negative". NOT TRUE. Self-esteem is built in a person by their OWN accomplishments, not what anyone else says or does for them.

Excellent!

 

[blackforest]

Small objection to the "girls" generalization. And I know that you said some!

Our girls do have "things", but my DH and I were older when we adopted after years of trying. DH has a great job (30 years at the same company), partner in his firm and works his B*^t off. Are our girls "spoiled" (according to some friends they are), and supposed friend of DD16 told her that we , her parents, spood-feed her everything. But, both DD's have chores, know how to run a household, cook dinner and clean. As well as volunteer at church and are active in sports and theatre. Now granted DD8 is better with her money than DD16, but we're working on that. We are trying to avoid the exact situation that is being discussed, by equipping our girls with both book and street smarts!

 

[luvthemouse71]

We are parents who paid for our kids schooling and provided a car for them to drive (we owned the cars but they were responsible for them) it but they are far from ignorant about money. The issue isn't what they are given, it's what they are taught. They worked during summers and had to pay for their own entertainment and books while in school. The bigger issue is some parents don't have expectations from their child other than that they finish school. Both our boys (24 and 27) are independent and haven't lived with us for several years. The oldest bought a townhouse and is paying off his car with no other debt. The youngest is renting with a friend and is getting ready to buy his first new car with no other debt. So, there is a lot more to this than kids who have been given a lot. It's kids who haven't been taught anything.

And then there are the girls (mostly) who seem to think they're supposed to be ignorant or enjoy playing a game. I see way too many girls raised with absolutely everything paid for by daddy and when they start dating, they can't understand why the guys can't get them whatever they want or take them where they want. I mean seriously when you have 8 and 9 years olds with cell phones, getting manicures every week and having their hair highlighted, all paid for by mommy and daddy, is it any wonder they have expectations and are ignorant about life in general? My boys complain that so many of the girls they met in college were so shallow and superficial that they just didnt' date much. They've also told us how many of the kids they went to school with didn't know how to write a check or even a few that didn't know credit cards required payments.

And this constant, don't "judge" people, etc is exactly why there are kids with these issues today. Too many people believe the garbage that self-esteem is built by praising someone all the time and never saying anything "negative". NOT TRUE. Self-esteem is built in a person by their OWN accomplishments, not what anyone else says or does for them.

Exactly, well said. I'm sure that what girls and parents see in the media contributes to this as well. Look at who is popular now. The bimbos from Jersey Shore, Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan etc - these women make a living out of being superficial, talentless, ditzy and skanky. One could make the argument that they are playing at being stupid, are paid well for it and that makes them smart. That may be so. In Lindsey Lohans case, she had some talent but has almost wrecked her career because of partying too much. In her case, I blame her mother..the mother is an overgrown bimbo that didn't provide a good role model.

However, most little girls aren't going to look past what is presented..they just get the message that being silly and stupid is cute and attractive. It's horrendous.