Can she do this?

[bunny]

I agree... between the "children belong with the mothers no matter [what]" mentality, and the inclination to afford otherwise-justifiable deference to people serving our country, shared custody is not inviolate.

I totally agree. My husband's ex married a man in the Air Force. He was transferred to Korea shortly after that. The mom had a child from a previous marriage but three children with my husband. We went to a lawyer to get full custody. The lawyer basically told us not to waste our money. She said the courts always try to keep siblings together and almost never deny families of military people the ability to move where they are stationed. On top of that, once you agree to 50/50 custody with the mother, it is almost impossible to change. The courts still view the mother as a better full time guardian. She would have to practically be a drug dealing prostitue before they would force her to give up custody and then it would only be temporary until she reformed. He did give us a slight decrease ($50 a month) in our child support though since we now had to pay all traveling costs. The tickets to Korea were about $1000 each and that was 10 years ago. What a joke that was!

I hope the times have changed. But my experience with the courts have shown them to be anti-father. In my opinion all the courts care about is the money!

 

[natenapril]

There are bonuses still paid to some career fields. I think it helps if he signs up for a 6 year tour instead of of 4 year tour but I will have to double check with my DH on that one.
But the AF needs a high ASVAB score to qualify.

 

[cabanafrau]

I totally agree. My husband's ex married a man in the Air Force. He was transferred to Korea shortly after that. The mom had a child from a previous marriage but three children with my husband. We went to a lawyer to get full custody. The lawyer basically told us not to waste our money. She said the courts always try to keep siblings together and almost never deny families of military people the ability to move where they are stationed. On top of that, once you agree to 50/50 custody with the mother, it is almost impossible to change. The courts still view the mother as a better full time guardian. She would have to practically be a drug dealing prostitue before they would force her to give up custody and then it would only be temporary until she reformed. He did give us a slight decrease ($50 a month) in our child support though since we now had to pay all traveling costs. The tickets to Korea were about $1000 each and that was 10 years ago. What a joke that was!

I hope the times have changed. But my experience with the courts have shown them to be anti-father. In my opinion all the courts care about is the money!

This is not at all what I'm seeing in the courts here over the past five years. Because of the acute economic situation in Michigan, there has been an upswing of parents filing for change of domicile. Even so, the parent requesting the move must demonstrate to the court that the move is necessary & will benefit the children to a large extent.

Typically if the move is granted, the parent making the move bears at least 50-percent of travel costs, more or all if their financial situation is shown to be adequate.

 

[gate_pourri]

Your brother needs to take her to court for full custody... for the sake of the little girl. I grew up in a 50/50 situation, with both of my parents being normal, stable parents, and it was TOUGH! Two different house, with different rules, different lifestyles, different allowances, etc is really hard... Than, in your brothers situation, you add an unstable parent, that poor girl is going to go crazy! How will/does she feel going from her dad's stable household (where, I can only presume, he feeds her regularly, takes her out the movies/shopping/dinner, does her laundry, may give her an allowance, etc) to her mothers house (where, again, I can only presume from what is written, she doesn't get fed regularly, she has to fend for herself, doesn't get to go out, etc.). That has got to be hard for her and will only get harder as she grows. For the little girls sake, your brother needs to get her out of that house.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

We don't have to. Mom's an avid Facebook poster - all her business is out there for the world to see.

I see you have 2 little kids. My niece is a "talker". She tells everything she knows to everyone who will listen. Ask her about her day and she will tell you in detail what she did, what she watched, who she talked to, and what she ate. And then repeat the stories ad nauseum.

Document, document, document. Print everything out that is on her Facebook page ASAP.

 

[S. C.]

DS got custody of his children in Michigan after the mother already had full primary, with 50/50 legal. She is bipolar and refused to stay on her meds. She also was not getting there son to school everyday. I agree with others document everything, get all the school records, absentees etc.

ETA: After son was awarded temp custody and still in court for primary his son showed a great improvement in school. DS also had the school write a letter stating how well his son was doing. DS also had school records to prove he was always in school and not late.