Can I vent here please?

[disykat]

IMO, it's just impolite to ask, especially when there are so many other family members going.

Yeah, but if it's your sister and she's been going on about how her points are going to waste...

While I understand sibling relationships can be frustrating, I just don't get the whole ongoing "my sister doesn't want to go to WDW, but I talked her into it and no matter what she does I'm going to be mad about it" thing.

 

[KirstenB]

We're DVC members. I have to be honest and say I sympathize with the OP. I've never tried to upgrade, so I'm not sure what kind of hassle/multiple confirmations you'd have. I hate dealing with details, so the possibility of multiple confirmations and multiple upgrades and keeping the money straight would drive me nuts.

I can understand why your sister is asking, but I think non-DVC folks underestimate how involved a transaction like this could get. Suppose her sister upgrades, no one else does, then they all get there and decide they want to upgrade. Like I say, I've never dealt with cash ressies or upgrades, but what a can of worms. Or she upgrades, then cancels at the last minute, and the points are permanently gone. What a hassle!

 

[Disney Doll]

I am going to take the completely different side to this and say that I am amazed that more people don't think your sister is a PIA ingrate.

I'd uninvite her now. You know that ultimately she's not going to end up going, or staying in the room or something, and it's going to be a last-minute thing and then you're really going to lose your points or have them go into a holding or something.

I'd say "You know Sue, I think that you ought to make your own arrangements to be in Florida when we are there so you can get the kind of room you want for the nights you want. My DVC points are precious, and it doesn't sound like you can really pin things down till we get closer to the trip, which may result in a loss of points for me, which I really don't want. Here are the dates the rest of the family will be there, so you can plan around it if you choose to. I'll cancel your studio reservation and leave it up to you to make your own plans".

Then you don't have to stress about it.

It's amazing that as a kid, we were thrilled to have a family vacation and "suffered" through all sleeping in a room together even when::: GASP!!!!::: we were teenagers. I had no idea then how horrific the conditions were that we were forced to endure.

 

[Dr.Snark]

How can you make Dear Sis "get" the Disney magic with out allowing the "getting it?"

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I am going to take the completely different side to this and say that I am amazed that more people don't think your sister is a PIA ingrate.

I would say that the sister was a PIA ingrate if the use of the DVC points was something that she had asked for.

It wasn't.

The OP came up with the idea of this family gathering that would force everybody into learning how to vacation the way that the OP thinks they should vacation.

The sister has been uneasy from the beginning because her family obviously has a different vacation style.

She hasn't threatened to "waste" the points and not show. In fact the OP herself said that she booked that family's studio first because she thinks they are the ones LEAST LIKELY to cancel. That kind of makes me wonder what the issues with everybody else might be.

The sister just wanted to know if there was a way to upgrade in order to make the vacation more enjoyable for her family. She didn't ask for the OP to give her more points or pay for the upgrade.....she just wanted some help in finding a solution that would make her family more comfortable.

So what exactly again is the point of this vacation "gift?" Do you want them to have a good time?

 

[MELSMICE]

I still don't get how the points would be lost if the vacation is booked this far in advance & the ressie cancelled now.

I don't think she's being a PITA, I just think the OP & the sister have a difference of opinion about how the vacation should go & it's creating some frustration.

I don't think it's unreasonable for your sister to ask for an upgrade. Do you feel like she believes what you have offered "isn't good enough?"

I believe the vacation will be much more pleasant if you look into the possibility of your sister upgrading & letting her do it, or if you explain the whole point thing to her & give her the option of getting her own room & paying for the entire thing herself.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I still don't get how the points would be lost if the vacation is booked this far in advance & the ressie cancelled now.

I don't think she's being a PITA, I just think the OP & the sister have a difference of opinion about how the vacation should go & it's creating some frustration.

I don't think it's unreasonable for your sister to ask for an upgrade. Do you feel like she believes what you have offered "isn't good enough?"

I believe the vacation will be much more pleasant if you look into the possibility of your sister upgrading & letting her do it, or if you explain the whole point thing to her & give her the option of getting her own room & paying for the entire thing herself.

The point would of been lost if someone cancelled, because I have to borrow points from 2008. They then become "borrowed" 2007 points. I cannot bank them. They would have to be used by May 31, 2008. If I am going to Disney in August 07, I won't be going back before June 08.

They really would not be lost. I would have to try to rent them. The stress about my family cancelling on me after I book thrie room was a real one, until I realized I could use the points to extend my stay. Everyone else can go home on Friday, while my Dh and kids and I stay the weekend.

Melmice..I answered you question, but I am now going to use this post to explain somethings yet again, so don't think I am talking to you.

Why do people think I am refusing my sister the chance to upgrade? SHE CAN UPGRADE. using her own phone, her own time and her own money. Yes, she offered to pay. I had said I was not upgrading her through Member services. I did call them yesterday BTW, and found out that to upgrade, you have to it per night. So, for 40 points, she can stay in a 1 bedroom for 2 nights. She would have to pay cash for 3 nights. The cash price? IF available the member discount may apply, she can rent the room for $277.70 per night. If the member discount is NOT available (dependent on inventory) the rack rate is $370.00/night.


Personally, I am not comfortable telling someone I have invited to have a free room, that it will cost her $850-$1110 for 3 nights. I gave her the number to Disney CRO. Told her to go ahead and call and book a studio for her kids. I will CALL her today, and tell her I will see of the member discount if available.

I just want to thank each and every person on this thread that made me feel like I am a controlling witch. Can't tell you how good it feels.

You don't know my sister, you don't know our family history, yet, you know why she does what she does.

Out of the ten families going, she is the ONLY one to tell me she has no intentions of spending more than one day in a Disney park, that a studio she is being giving for free is too uncomfortable for her family (but she has never even been in one to know for sure that it would be).

I will also say, I can now see why DVC members hate sharing their vacations. With the amount of support my sister has on this thread, no wonder people like to keep their points to themsleves.

 

[Brise Nannie]

I'm a firm believer in venting as I believe it's cheaper than therapy. I vent all the time and thank goodness I have great friends who will listen. Get it out of your system so you can enjoy a nice trip. Hope you have a nice time despite...

 

[Tigger&Belle]

We base your situation on this one event (or other events of anyone has a better memory than I have ), but of course you know your whole family history and have lived and/or interacted with these people for years. Of course you have years of history that's affecting your feelings that's impossible to convey on a mesage board. Hopefully you'll have a great vacation with your family!

 

[mickeyfan2]

I did offer to go pages ago. I would be a great sister and aunt.

 

[janette]

I wouldn't want to be in a studio with 2 teens and a baby so I can see where your sister is coming from. She's offered to pay for the upgrade.

Honestly I'd try to get a 2bdrm at OKW, I don't know what your family consists of but maybe you could find a way to combine them with another family. It isn't that many more points and you can let your sister worry about renting them. It would also give you a meeting place that isn't a studio for those that would like to visit. The problem with several studios is there isn't a sitting room in any of them.

 

[robinb]

Out of the ten families going, she is the ONLY one to tell me she has no intentions of spending more than one day in a Disney park, that a studio she is being giving for free is too uncomfortable for her family (but she has never even been in one to know for sure that it would be).

 

[Disney Doll]

I would say that the sister was a PIA ingrate if the use of the DVC points was something that she had asked for.

It wasn't.

The OP came up with the idea of this family gathering that would force everybody into learning how to vacation the way that the OP thinks they should vacation.

The sister has been uneasy from the beginning because her family obviously has a different vacation style.

She hasn't threatened to "waste" the points and not show. In fact the OP herself said that she booked that family's studio first because she thinks they are the ones LEAST LIKELY to cancel. That kind of makes me wonder what the issues with everybody else might be.

The sister just wanted to know if there was a way to upgrade in order to make the vacation more enjoyable for her family. She didn't ask for the OP to give her more points or pay for the upgrade.....she just wanted some help in finding a solution that would make her family more comfortable.

So what exactly again is the point of this vacation "gift?" Do you want them to have a good time?

I'm going to be real honest with you here. I have a SIL who is exactly like the OP's sister...it always has to be "all about her" and her needs.

Bottom line, if someone offers you something & you accept it, then you deal with it the way they offered and be happy or you refuse it outright. You don't take it and then start with "Well, we might want to do this" or "we want to upgarde" or "we may not stay for as long as everyone else stays" and so forth. If "The Princess" didn't want to vacation with the rest of the family and wanted to "do her own thing" then she should not have accepted the offer in the first place. If I recall, she knew from the beginning that the OP's offer was so the whole family could be together.

Here's DSis's original "plan"...get a free room and then do what they wanted to do, with their accomodations financed by the OP. The OP foiled it a bit by wanting her to participate in the family vacation for a bit more than 1 day if she was providing lodging.

Sorry...my advice remains the same. Tell her the dates the whole family is going to be there, tell her your cancelling her reservation so that she can book her accomodations to her liking, and be done with this mess.

If she comes, fine. If she doesn't, that's fine too and it won't cost you precious DVC points.

All this sweetness and light and "she's family" baloney is a load of crap. Your family will screw you the worst of all, because they know how and they know what gets to you and the bad ones know that the good ones will always "put up with it" because "they're family".

 

[EthansMom]

Why do people think I am refusing my sister the chance to upgrade? SHE CAN UPGRADE. using her own phone, her own time and her own money. Yes, she offered to pay. I had said I was not upgrading her through Member services. I did call them yesterday BTW, and found out that to upgrade, you have to it per night. So, for 40 points, she can stay in a 1 bedroom for 2 nights. She would have to pay cash for 3 nights. The cash price? IF available the member discount may apply, she can rent the room for $277.70 per night. If the member discount is NOT available (dependent on inventory) the rack rate is $370.00/night.

If your sister is anything like my family members, the moment you tell her the cost, she's going to decide against upgrading. If you do upgrade her, get her money up front BEFORE doing the upgrade.

 

[va32h]

I just want to thank each and every person on this thread that made me feel like I am a controlling witch. Can't tell you how good it feels.

Hey, you knew from your last thread what kind of responses you were likely to get. If you want to vent without getting any kind of negative feedback, you should try keeping a diary instead of posting on a message board.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I agree with you too DisneyDoll!!!!

It is indeed possible that the sister is just wanting to take advantage of free accomodations, while never offering any consideration to the OP and the rest of the family.

If that is TRULY the case, then the OP does have a right to some hurt feelings!!! (However, if this was a 'gift' then it was a 'gift'....)

And, also, I am big on venting. So, I do understand that too.

It is just that I fail to see how an upgrade is that huge of a problem. All of this should probably have been layed out and arranged beforehand. Layed out in black and white. (this is what I can offer.... This is for those who wish to share a family vacation AT Disney... Here is the number if you need additional accomodations, etc..)

All of the 'strings' should have been spelled out beforehand.

I think that perhaps the OP wants to plan a huge 'family trip', but is just now realizing the actual work (and, yes, a few headaches) that are inevitable.

 

[starwishing]

Hi, just wanted to say, that from someone who has just come back from a vacation with family & friends, (and might I add that my friends are no longer talking to me! ) my best advice to you is.....LET IT GO. Let go all of your anger & frustration. Remind yourself that this is YOUR vacation. If people come, they come. If people do what you are doing, they do it. But if they don't....why sweat it??? You go, you enjoy.....and the people that happen to be with you at the time....well enjoy them too then. I really think if you put the focus BACK on yourself & your family (immediate) then all of this will not matter so much!!! Try & let stuff roll off your back. HAVE A BLAST PLANNING!!!!

 

[MELSMICE]

The point would of been lost if someone cancelled, because I have to borrow points from 2008. They then become "borrowed" 2007 points. I cannot bank them. They would have to be used by May 31, 2008. If I am going to Disney in August 07, I won't be going back before June 08.

They really would not be lost. I would have to try to rent them. The stress about my family cancelling on me after I book thrie room was a real one, until I realized I could use the points to extend my stay. Everyone else can go home on Friday, while my Dh and kids and I stay the weekend.

Melmice..I answered you question, but I am now going to use this post to explain somethings yet again, so don't think I am talking to you.

Thank you for the clarification. I have never borrowed points, so I wasn't clear on the proper rules.

You don't know my sister, you don't know our family history,

You are definitely correct about that. There is probably a lot more to this than any of us realize.

Personally, I am not comfortable telling someone I have invited to have a free room, that it will cost her $850-$1110 for 3 nights. I gave her the number to Disney CRO. Told her to go ahead and call and book a studio for her kids. I will CALL her today, and tell her I will see of the member discount if available.

If she's serious about upgrading then I wouldn't have a problem at all telling her what the cost is. Giving her the # to CRO was a good idea - she can get the cost herself so she doesn't think you lieing (sp?) about the cost.

Again, I think you are being EXTREMELY generous by using YOUR points to give someone else accommodations. I hope it all works out for all parties involved.

 

[disykat]

.

Here's DSis's original "plan"...get a free room and then do what they wanted to do, with their accomodations financed by the OP. The OP foiled it a bit by wanting her to participate in the family vacation for a bit more than 1 day if she was providing lodging.

From the other thread, I thought DSis's original plan was to turn down the free room because she wasn't interested in going to Disney. The OP talked her into going.

I understand the need to vent, but can't help but offer my opinion that the sister really doesn't want to go and feels like she's being sort of coerced into spending her vacation doing something she doesn't want to do. She's probably on some other board venting "I love my sister and know she's trying to be nice, but we really don't want to spend our vacation at WDW, especially with all of us in one room. She's got some timeshare thing that works on points so we can't even get an extra room. My sister really wants me to go, but I'm sorry I ever agreed to this, I should have stuck with my first instinct and just said no."

I think EVERYONE would be happier if the OP just said sorry it's not working to get a room for you and we'll catch you some other time. Then the OP can stop feeling like her vacation is being ruined and so can the sister.

 

[DisneyWorld Delight]

I think you should tell her the cost. Then she will realize what a gift this truly is.