Can I vent about my snowflake and school?

[disneyjunkie]

Don't know where the OP lives, but if it were New York City, she'd have to spend at least $30K per year on tuition for most private schools and that's if her child could get into one. The waiting lists for private schools in Manhattan are hundreds long.

Our annual WDW trip runs $3,000-$4,000. Giving that up would barely make a dent in what we'd have to pay for private school if we lived in the City.

I live in NYC. Your annual WDW trips will cover tuition at many schools here.

There are plenty of faith based elementary schools that are less than $10,000.00 a year. There's a Catholic school a few blocks from where I work that s only $4,000.00 a year. A Baptist school in my community is only $5,000.00 a year. The Seventh Day Adventist schools are also pretty cheap.
My son's Catholic high school was only $7,000.00 a year.


While the elite private schools are out of reach for many, there are other options.

 

[JerseyJanice]

I live in NYC. Your annual WDW trips will cover tuition at many schools here.

There are plenty of faith based elementary schools that are less than $10,000.00 a year. There's a Catholic school a few blocks from where I work that s only $4,000.00 a year. A Baptist school in my community is only $5,000.00 a year. The Seventh Day Adventist schools are also pretty cheap.
My son's Catholic high school was only $7,000.00 a year.


While the elite private schools are out of reach for many, there are other options.

Yeah, but you're in Brooklyn; I'm talking about Manhattan, but I don't even know if that's where the OP is.

My cousins lived on Broadway and 85th Street. They sent their son to the neighborhood public grammar school. When it came time for him to go to a middle school, there were seriously no good options for them. Middle schools in the public system weren't based on where you live. There was apparently some kind of competition for which middle school you got based on a student's grades and interests.

When they looked at private schools near where they lived, tuition began at $30K and had huge waiting lists. I don't doubt the Catholic schools in the outer boroughs are more affordable, but they didn't want to send their 10 year-old on the subway to the Bronx for school every day.

They wound up moving to New Jersey.

 

[golfgal]

Yeah, but you're in Brooklyn; I'm talking about Manhattan, but I don't even know if that's where the OP is.

My cousins lived on Broadway and 85th Street. They sent their son to the neighborhood public grammar school. When it came time for him to go to a middle school, there were seriously no good options for them. Middle schools in the public system weren't based on where you live. There was apparently some kind of competition for which middle school you got based on a student's grades and interests.

When they looked at private schools near where they lived, tuition began at $30K and had huge waiting lists. I don't doubt the Catholic schools in the outer boroughs are more affordable, but they didn't want to send their 10 year-old on the subway to the Bronx for school every day.

They wound up moving to New Jersey.

Which is a reasonable solution to substandard schools--move to a better district. When we relocated 4 years ago, the number one issue for us was to get into a great district. Now, we are lucky, where most people can rattle off 4 or 5 good districts in their area, we can rattle off 4 or 5 BAD districts and the rest are all really good so we were able to get into a district that had top programs in our kids' area of interest (band-music and golf). It's nice to have options. We could have gone to 20 other districts in an easy commuting area for DH's job and still would have had a great education for our kids (all public schools).

 

[disneyjunkie]

Yeah, but you're in Brooklyn; I'm talking about Manhattan, but I don't even know if that's where the OP is.

My cousins lived on Broadway and 85th Street. They sent their son to the neighborhood public grammar school. When it came time for him to go to a middle school, there were seriously no good options for them. Middle schools in the public system weren't based on where you live. There was apparently some kind of competition for which middle school you got based on a student's grades and interests.

When they looked at private schools near where they lived, tuition began at $30K and had huge waiting lists. I don't doubt the Catholic schools in the outer boroughs are more affordable, but they didn't want to send their 10 year-old on the subway to the Bronx for school every day.

They wound up moving to New Jersey.

There are faith based school in Manhattan. I know of at least 6 Catholic elementary schools in Manhattan with tuitions under $5,000.00 a year.

Elite private schools in any borough are out of reach for many of us. The faith based schools aren't.

Many NYC students(including elementary school kids) take public transportaion to and from school.

Admission into public schools is the same across the city (Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, Bronx and Manhattan). Some schools require you to past an entrance exam. (elementary, middle and high school) Some schools only accept students who live in their base area. Some schools require testing, interviews, and look at past grades.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Just because the school didn't necessarily meet all of the the OP's expectations doesn't mean that her child would have gotten a better education elsewhere... and it doesn't mean that her child got a bad education where he was.

I think it's hilarious that everyone seems to think that it's so ridiculously easy to find a new job at the snap of a finger (good economy or not) and that packing up and moving is always such a simple plan. There are other things to consider and there's more to life than what school your kid goes to.

Like I said before, I'm completely floored by the judgment in this thread. People really need to stop thinking that they're so much better than others because their choices and life circumstances are different.

 

[JerseyJanice]

There are faith based school in Manhattan. I know of at least 6 Catholic elementary schools in Manhattan with tuitions under $5,000.00 a year.

Elite private schools in any borough are out of reach for many of us. The faith based schools aren't.

My cousins were not interested in a faith based education as they are not faithful people. I sent my own son to Catholic school from kindergarten to second grade. When we switched to the public school, he had a lot of catching up to do.

The curriculum in our public school was far ahead of what they covered in Catholic school. We convinced ourselves that we were giving our child a better education since we paid good money and put in a lot of time to have him there. It wasn't true; the academics were inferior in the Catholic system. If I had it to do over again, my son would have gone to public school from first grade on.

Many NYC students(including elementary school kids) take public transportaion to and from school.

Many do, true, but that wasn't what my cousins wanted.

Admission into public schools is the same across the city (Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, Bronx and Manhattan). Some schools require you to past an entrance exam. (elementary, middle and high school) Some schools only accept students who live in their base area. Some schools require testing, interviews, and look at past grades.

All I know is that it wasn't cut-and-dried in their neighborhood which school you went to from fifth grade up. Around here which school you go to depends on how your district is zoned. It was far more complicated than that in NYC, so they gave up and moved to the 'burbs.

 

[disneyjunkie]

My cousins were not interested in a faith based education as they are not faithful people.

I can understand not wanting a faith based education. I was pointing out that even in Manhattan, there are options other than a 30K elementary school.

 

[surfgirl]

I'm going to get this train back on track...

OP, it certainly sounds like you did many of the right things. Yes, hindsight is 20/20 and 'could have/should have' is too late now.

I guess I've a few thoughts:
1) What will you do differently ?

You are moving to a new school where no one knows your kid. It certainly sounds like you were an advocate for him in the old school, but I would continue to be a strong advocate. It is a fine line between 'being an advocate' and 'being a helicopter parent'. Given that you are a teacher, I'll assume you know which is which (better than the rest of us!). I would schedule checkpoints before the Fall p/t conference to talk with the teacher. Let her know this on back to school night and she will be watching more so she knows what is going on.

2) His outside testing - are you happy with the results ?

The on-grade thing is a huge range. Honestly, it probably covers 70-80% of kids. Is he in the lower range of that or the upper range ? Is he eligible for the gifted program ? Do you know what he is expected to know in 5th grade at the new school ? Do they follow the same math program ? reading ? Is there assigned summer reading ? I would find those out now so if you need to spend some time this summer making sure he is comfortable and ready to hit the ground running.

3) There are some kids who get lost in the system.

I believe this happens at any school. My dd isn't in the gifted program, barely missed it (I didn't push b/c I don't like the gifted teacher). She listens, turns in her work on time, behaves well, and does what is asked. Is she going to 'get lost'? Maybe, maybe not, but I believe she is at risk. She is one of those 'easy' kids that teachers don't need to spend a lot of time on. I shared these thoughts with the guidance counselor at the beginning of the year ... she definitely understood my position. I believe it has forced the teachers to give her a little extra attention since they know I'm watching.

It sounds like your son is similar - he is a good kid, listens, does his work. Honestly, he probably makes the teacher's life easier because he volunteers to be a greeter. Or doesn't complain when that happens. Just beware of this pattern so it doesn't repeat itself.


Good luck! It sounds like you are doing the best you can for your guy...

 

[JerseyJanice]

I can understand not wanting a faith based education. I was pointing out that even in Manhattan, there are options other than a 30K elementary school.

I know that, but my cousins' experience was that to remain in Manhattan, the only private school option that didn't cost $30K was faith-based.

And I brought it up because I was trying to point out is that because many people live in places where education choices are plentiful, it doesn't mean that everywhere else in the U.S. is like that too.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I want to clarify a couple things.

1) I don't live in Manhattan, but our situation is similar. The suggestion of moving to New Jersey and getting a house (or in our situation apartment) 1/2 the size is pretty much what we're doing. Is it worth it? At his current age, yes. When he was in elementary school, it wasn't. Family time is important to me, and adding another hour and a half to our time apart when he was going to bed earlier didn't make sense. Moving for academic reasons, and making it so I never got to see or help with his homework, didn't make sense to me. I don't regret those choices, although now that he's a little older other choices make sense.

2) I don't take an annual trip to WDW, and when I do go we do it on the cheap. This year we're going to Universal for 4 days, we'll share the trip and likely the hotel room with another single parent/child. Around here, rentals generally have "required income levels" and whether or not I scrape together enough for a vacation doesn't change the fact that I do or don't apply.

3) The posters that say there are faith based options are correct, many of them are also 30K. The ones that aren't are not schools that are consistent with my family's beliefs and I wouldn't consider them. They are primarily Catholic (although most of our Catholic schools have now gone charter), Muslim, or conservative evangelical Christian schools in the $7,500 range.

4) Ironically, perhaps, given that I'm a teacher, I don't think the school is everything, or can be everything for any child. At any stage, I feel like I need to look at my child's education and supplement in different ways. I need to choose a school, not based on what's "best" but based on what complements the things that I'm able to offer him in the rest of his life. Middle school is a different situation with different options, and so I made a different choice for next year.

 

[disneyjunkie]

And I brought it up because I was trying to point out is that because many people live in places where education choices are plentiful, it doesn't mean that everywhere else in the U.S. is like that too.

I understand your point and agree with it, but it doesn't apply to NYC.
We have a ton of educational choices here.