Can I take the plunge?!

[topsy]

Hi,

So I'm about to rant on , I hope you're ready! Here's my story.....

I have always dreamed of a Disney Wedding and have been planning it for years. Then I met my partner who is not a Disney person and nor is his familyso I put it to the back of my mind and knew that my wedding would be here in the UK.

Anyway, a few years on and we're ready to start planning something but I just can't get Disney out of my head! One thing has led to another and I now have a cunning idea in my head.......the immediate side of my family are going to WDW in 2013 for a family holiday to celebrate a birthday (one of the oldies!) and I thought that it could be a perfecy opportunity to consider a Disney wedding!

Yes there are pros and cons to this...the guests would only be from my side of the family (although his family hate Disney and would never come), we would HAVE to have a proper wedding in the UK too and the UK wedding would need to be the more important and "real" of the two however it seems such a good opportunity to do something as we are there anyway and we are ready to get married....oh I don't know. I need help!

If we were to go ahead with it I would keep it really low key and treat it more as a celebration of us than a full on wedding. Yes I would get a dress but just a nice cheap one, probably second hand. I would stick to the bare minimum and not add any extras (apart from a dessert party maybe) and the reception would be dinner together in one of the regular restaurants.

I have dreamt of this my whole life and it seems like too good an opportunity to miss but I can't decide 100% if we should do it. We can't afford and nor do we have time to plan for a wedding in the UK first, that would have to come a while after this so I'm wondering if there is any way we could have a blessing type ceremony in WDW and not get legally married until we're in the UK?

Lots of questions.....any advice or ideas?!

 

[minniebride]

Have you considered having a home wedding and then doing a "Memories" package at WDW with just you and your DF or just a few family members?

It is really inexpensive and intimate, has some pretty WDW locations, etc....that way you could do both!

You can read more about it here:
http://disneyweddings.disney.go.com/weddings/florida/escape/memoriespackage/detail

 

[topsy]

Hi there, yes I did read about it but as I understand the memories package is only valid this year and we are not ready yet. The whole reason this has come up is because we will be out there in Spring of 2013 and my family will be there too. I want to find out how possible it will be to have a small intimate celebration whilst we are there. Thanks anyway though, the Memories collection would have been perfect if we could do it in 2013!!

 

[leonix8238]

It's a lovely idea, if your DF is happy with it and you let his family know about it before hand.

However, you may wish to mull over a few things such as if the cost will be worth it if it means delaying your official wedding day? Would the person who's birthday celebration it is mind if you had your own celebration the same time as there's?

If a Disney wedding is something you REALLY want, perhaps your DF may be more open to it than you think? It doesn't have to be all Mickey and Disney lyrics, many of the weddings are only Disney weddings because of the venue and nothing else. Perhaps the idea of a destination wedding in Orlando may be more appealing to them than Disney? Depending on what you go for often these weddings work out much cheaper than weddings at home in the UK.


If all else fails you can plan a 'surprise' vow renewal in a few years.

 

[beautifultomorrow]

I think the suggestion of doing a Memories package after an at home wedding is a good one!

Not to rain on your parade or anything, but I am afraid the idea of having a wedding at Disney before your at home wedding, with just your family could cause a lot of hurt feelings and misunderstanding.

Personally, I don't really see the point of going to the expense and trouble of having 2 weddings in the first place -- even if you do have your heart set on Disney. If it were me I would take all the cash I would have spend on the additional Disney wedding and put it toward an unbelievable honeymoon there instead. On a honeymoon you get to enjoy all the parks, places, restaurants and resorts that make Disney so awesome -- at your own pace with no stress. There are TONS of romantic, fairy tale details you could work into the honeymoon without it actually being a wedding. If your husband to be isn't keen on a Disney honeymoon, you could do half at Disney and half someplace else.

Good luck with your decision, its sounds tough. Whatever you do though, remember the wedding is about both of you and should be something you're both happy with!

 

[minniebride]

Hi there, yes I did read about it but as I understand the memories package is only valid this year and we are not ready yet. The whole reason this has come up is because we will be out there in Spring of 2013 and my family will be there too. I want to find out how possible it will be to have a small intimate celebration whilst we are there. Thanks anyway though, the Memories collection would have been perfect if we could do it in 2013!!

Aah, that's too bad How about a home wedding and then fly to WDW for your honeymoon and have an intimate ceremony at the Swan? Their packages start at similar price as the Memories package and the Swan is located right at the Boardwalk area!

 

[Jilian]

I was going to suggest a Disney honeymoon too. Disney weddings are quite pricey so I couldn't imagine having it as 1 of 2 weddings if you are looking to keep costs down. Have you talked seriously with your fiance to let him know that you've always dreamed of a Disney wedding and see what he says?

 

[topsy]

Thank you all for your quick responses, it's nice to have some opinions from non-biased people! I think that the UK wedding and then a vow renewal in a few years might be the way to go, or a Disney honeymoon. It's not the fact that it's Disney which is the issue for us, it's the distance, expense and thought of travelling for the majority of his family. My family are the total opposite having all grown up with Disney holidays they would be there in a heartbeat!!

 

[tinkerbell 766]

Topsy sweetie - IMHO, if it is important to have a wedding in the UK, then that is the plan you should stick to for now.
A vow renewal later at WDW is something you cna plan for and look forward to after the 'official' wedding is all over. Some brides have VRs as soon as a year after their weddings, so as soon as you are ready , go for it!!
DH and I recently celebrated 11 years of marriage with a VR at the Swan and I cna honestly say it was the best day of our lives!! We were made to feel no less special because ours was a VR rather than an actual wedding and, in fact, our officiant told us he preferred presiding over VRs as he was always so happy to celebrate with couples who had worked hard at their marriages, and were proof that 'happily ever afters' really do exist!!!
Good luck with your decision - it's a tough one!!

 

[Chilly]

As some of the others have said I think a UK wedding and a Disney VR in a few years is probably the way to go.

 

[fromscratchmom]

I just wanted to encourage you to really talk this out with your future spouse. make a date to have dinner at a quiet restaurant with a reasonably private table, maybe at not a peak time to accomplish this. You may find that you can be happy with something very different than you always dreamed of or can find some "variation on the theme" from your idea in your OP or one of the suggestions that will be perfect. But don't let it be something that you didn't let each other know the depth of your feelings and find a solution that works for both.

I happen to have had that experience of running smack into a wall of what I wanted for a wedding and what my husband could cope with being too far apart and we did the thing that made sense to him at the time, which was that we just went to the courthouse and got married. I told myself that the marriage was the important thing, which is of course true in a large sense. However, we did have trouble in the marriage that could be traced back in part to that mistake and I realized that it was a real problem for me that I never felt like he had any concern for how much the act of getting married meant, or even like it meant anything to him for himself.

To be honest, I've always kind of beat myself up about it emotionally like I was somehow wrong and just making trouble by being overly emotional and irrational. But I have recently found out that what I experienced is not so uncommon as I would have thought.

It can truly matter to mark the event and to have consideration for each other in what that means to each of you.

My husband and I are in an upward swing in our marriage after having some troubles, and I am now starting to think of some sort of renewal ceremony maybe just for a very small group of close family and friends if we can get back to a great place, like I think we are headed for. In fact I brought it up to him recently... I can see doing that at Disney and really loving to do so, even though Disney was not my dream for a wedding when I was young.