Can I scream here???

kasar

DIS Veteran
Joined
Oct 31, 2002
Messages
2,494
How is it that no matter how old we get, our parents can still get to us with the most innocent (or not!) statements? I'm 35 but I still get that AARRGH!!! feeling like I'm 16 or something!

Here's one example and you all can tell me if I'm nuts: Back when it was time for me to go to college (always a requirement in our house), my dad lost his job and they couldn't really afford to give me any money. That was fine because I'd always been a hard worker and working my way through was not a problem for me. I think they may have given me about $1,000 which I appreciated and put towards college, paying the rest myself (well over $20,000). My siblings went to whatever college they wanted, didn't care that my parents had to sell their house to afford it. Okay, I've moved past that (a whole other thread!).

Well, whenever my mother needs something artistic or creative done she always calls me and tells me that "she put me through art school, after all" and I need to help her. Now, I would never have a problem with helping her if it was put a different way - any other way. For some reason it just goes right through me. Bringing up the reality of the situation would really have no purpose and would only make them feel bad or embarrassed. I usually grit my teeth and help but I leave there frustrated and tense. How do parents have this special ability to say just the thing that drives us the most nuts????

It's silly to blame parents for everything wrong and I'm not whining about "poor me". I'm just wondering if anyone else, despite loving their parents, just feels like screaming sometimes. Can we never get over our teenage frustrations when it comes to our parents?
 
also worked my way through school, now my mother thinks i am her personal bussiness advisor, plus being a carpenter and repair specialist i am expected to do all thier home repairs even thugh its 75 miles from my house to hers and dw and i run a full time service here at home. have been on injured reserves since october and my mom still wants me to tell her and dad how to fix stuff every timei talk to her. yesterday was a damaged animal cage on the farm.. today was a colapsed septic tank lid, and both my broothers were home this weekend, one lives next door the other is home for weekends they still call big brother to fix everything and mom can make me cringe with some the stuff she wants me to run up and fix , or tell her howe to repair via instant messages try rebuilding a water heater by instant messaging what to do to your younger brother who is a computer specialist and programmer, and couldnt fix qa broken pvc water line in his back yard.
 

My father is 63 and my gram can still push all his buttons. She is the queen of the meaningful sigh!

I guess since our parents installed our buttons they know just which ones to press. ;)
 
Originally posted by kasar
How is it that no matter how old we get, our parents can still get to us with the most innocent (or not!) statements? I'm 35 but I still get that AARRGH!!! feeling like I'm 16 or something!
I haven't had my parents around in years, but I do find that whenever I'm with my sister, I'm always falling into that "little sister" role. :rolleyes: No wonder we don't visit much. LOL!
 
Originally posted by julybride
I guess since our parents installed our buttons they know just which ones to press. ;)

ITA!
::yes:: ::yes:: ::yes::
 
/
OH MY,,and I was feeling bad cause I was thinking I shouldnt get so UPSET when my mom says all her little digs and GUILT trip remarks,,,,glad to see I am not alone..I find it hard to call her as much now,,cause IF I DO NOT CALL FOR ONE DAY,,the next day its OH YOUR PHONE DOES WORK or OH, HI STRANGER..lol. GOTTA LOVE UM!!!!!

Tink
 
My mom used to love to say "Well I never did understand why you dropped out of college.. you know you'd be a vet today... Wasn't that always what you wanted to do?" Then shake her head....

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!

She was the one that said she thought me wanting to be a veterinarian was a dirty disgusting job and could not understand why on earth I would want to work with animals instead of going into the movie biz like both her and my dad.

She was the one who told me if I wanted to continue college (I was already into my pre med program) that I would have to pay for it myself.... She also told me that 2 days before I needed $1000 to buy books.. Gee I wonder why I didnt go back to college? Maybe because I had no way to pay for it???

Oh sorry... not trying to highjack your post!!!

So the answer is Yes... its very very hard to get over what our parents do sometimes! ::yes::
 
I guess I must be a horrible daughter because I'd tell her how I felt. "Mom, I'd love to help you with a project, but when you say you put me through school it makes me feel like you don't appreciate how hard I worked to pay the majority of my expences myself." Something along those lines.

Unless she's elderly and ill, I would think it would be better just to get it out. I love my parents and they love me, but we would call each other on those kinds of things.

If I were Melora I would simply say I dropped out because I couldn't afford it every time she started with "why did you drop out?".
 














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