Cam's New Lease on Life Journal (comments welcome!)

[sarahsmom73]

Welcome back!!! Thanks for sharing!

 

[keenercam]

Okay, time to do the end of the month recap for myself.

Challenged myself to exercise 1000 minutes -- did 1015 minutes "exercise" plus another 480 minutes of walking in WDW
Challenged myself to walk/bike 70 miles -- did 138.6 miles + all those WDW miles that I couldn't count
Challenged myself to lose 5 pounds -- did exactly that
Challenged myself to stay on plan in WDW -- did it
Challenged myself to use the resort fitness center 2 times during our 4 days there -- done

Okay. Feels good. Even though the pounds aren't dropping, my clothes show results of my efforts (will need all new shorts for summer as even my "skinny" shorts were too big this week -- can't wait to see what size I will need 6 weeks from now)

 

[plutosmyfav]

Cam,

I am so proud of you

You met all your goals! You are doing so fantastic. Keep it up!!!!

Sunny

 

[DisnyMama]

Cam, Glad you had a great and successful trip. Wow, 5 pounds. I am really happy for you about your weight loss. Everytime I go to WDW I gain. You should be very proud of yourself and this should continue to motivate you-not that you aren't already. Three 's for your acheivements. You surely deserve it!! I look forward to reading your journal because you inspire me.

Take care,
Shannon

 

[sarahsmom73]

Great job on your goals! Have a great weekend!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

sounds like you had a great trip--congrats on meeting all your goals!!!!

 

[keenercam]

Wow. It has been so long since I have written here. I have been staying on plan and still exercising nearly every night at the YMCA. Doing some combination of upper body nautilus, recumbent bike, elliptical cross trainer and treadmill. I am thinking of learning how to do the stairclimber as I bet that is a good workout for my trouble areas -- hips & thighs. Took the plunge last night and bought a "FIRM" set at Target -- It comes with the stick that can be used as dumbells, weight bar or balancing stick and 3 DVDs, including the cardio blast that I have been hearing so much about.

I am worried that if I start working out at home with some videos, that I will lose the momentum of going to the Y and putting in the miles there. I also really enjoy tracking the miles, as well as minutes, so I will be unhappy losing that. I am going to have to work to find a good balance.

I am kind of surprised when I think about how much I have changed over the past few months, not physically, but mentally. It's interesting that I really don't obsess about food any more, when all my life I have lived to eat. I am not sure what the turning point was. I really feel that all my prayers were answered with my successful surgery and now it is time for me to take responsibility for getting healthy. I sooo look forward to exercising now, and even when I don't feel like going, knowing how satisfying it is to do that is enough to get me to go. Howard has been so supportive, too, going to the gym with me every night that he is available, and not even blinking when I try to squeeze in a workout on other, busy nights.

I do feel, sometimes, like I am being selfish. I just don't know how long I will have this passion for this goal, though, and feel as if I should stick to this for as long as I am enthusiastic about it. With my Dad being so very ill, I know the time is not far off when I will have more significant family obligations to be with him in his final days and then to help my Mom with arrangements and with picking up the pieces when he is gone. I know that even now, if he were cognizant enough to see what I have accomplished so far, he would compliment me on "looking nice" and I know he would brag to everyone who would listen about me walking a half-marathon. So, I am glad to be doing what I can now for me, before I have to "do" for everyone else.

Next objective is a better time on this 5K Saturday than the last one I did on 3/19 which was 51:42.

 

[plutosmyfav]

Cam,
You are doing fantastic. You are going to hold this passion for life! I'm sure there will be ups and downs, but you have changed and this new lifestyle is really your lifestyle now.

As for exercise tapes, I have a whole library. I have the Firm 3-in-1 with the box which I don't used very often but turns out that's the one my DD uses all the time. When I do home videos I always turn to TaeBo. I love working out with Billy . But for me, they are more of a backup plan than my main exercise. I wouldn't skip the gym to go home and do a video unless I had to for some other reason. I don't think you'll give up your Y time since you are counting Disney miles, that'll keep you motivated to keep going

Keep up the great work. I feel guilty sometimes, too, about how much time I invest in my exercise and fitness goals. But I have come to look at it as a medical condition that I must care for. If we don't take care of our health and fitness we won't be able to care for those we love. Don't feel guilty!

Have a great day
Sunny

 

[sharoncity]

Cam - I feel like I am so much better for my family when I take the time to take care of myself. By exercising and losing weight, I feel better about me and who I am. And that gets reflected to everyone around me. Not to mention the wonderful example you are giving your kids to get up and get moving, to take good care of themselves. Don't belittle how good all of this is for you. I know it is hard for women to take the time for themselves, but ultimately you will be a better person for having done this for yourself.

Keep up the excellent work - you are doing wonderful!!

TTFN- Sharon

 

[Strings]

Hi Cam,

It sounds like you have truly made a lifestyle change. You are doing an incredible job. I understand what you mean about feeling guilty. I do too, but I also know that I am a better wife and mother now that I am healthier. As for you commitment to your family, exercise is a great stress reliever. You may find that you NEED to workout to help you get through the coming ordeal.

Keep up the great work Cam,
Beth

 

[Blueeyes101817]

u are doing so great cam!! !!!

 

[pettyone]

Cam--

Where are you?? Please stop in and let us know how you're doing!!

I know that you said that your father really wasn't doing well at all this week...he is in my prayers...

 

[keenercam]

Hi, everyone. Thanks for your concern. I am barely home these days, spending all my time at my father's bedside -- he is home with hospice and hasn't been conscious since Sunday. Am glad to be there with him in his final days. Hard to think about anything else, though. Hoping to be back here and on track and in touch with all my WISH friends soon. Am praying for a peaceful passing soon. There isn't much left of my dad in that bed, though I hold his hand and his his forehead and tell him I love him again and again. Feel terrible that he is in pain and I make sure he has his morphine every three hours -- it's all I can do for him now. My mother and I have a very difficult relationship and she has no friends to lean on, and unfortunately is not on good terms with my brothers or any of her own family. The situation is difficult and I pray for patience to be kind to her. Please keep us in your prayers.
Much love.

 

[plutosmyfav]

Hi Cam

You and your family are in my prayers.

Sunny

 

[DisnyMama]

Cam, My thoughts and prayers and love are with you and your family now and will be every day. Everything you have done for yourself over the past few months is really going to pay off at this time. It will give you the strength you didn't know you had before.

God Bless you and your Dad,
Shannon

 

[sarahsmom73]

Take care Cam! We're here for you!

 

[Blueeyes101817]

hugs and prayers cam

 

[keenercam]

Thank you, my dear friends, for your support and your prayers. My Dad passed away very peacefully on Thursday, April 14 and was buried on Saturday. I'm still not sure that it has hit me because I am just kind of tired and worn out. DH and my kids have been so wonderful and our very strong faith in a peaceful and painless eternity in heaven has provided tremendous comfort to all of us. I am glad I was able to be with my dad for the last week of his life and that he knew at least some of the time, that I was there. I think there are many more difficult days to come because I am not sure my mother will take care of herself. She and my dad were together 46 years, having met when she was 17 -- existing without him is just unconceivable to her.

I am praying for strength to do what I have to do. And one of the things I really have to do is get back to exercising. I really need that outlet. I did really well with my WW points until after the funeral on Saturday when I wasn't careful about what I was eating. Once I catch up my points tracker I will figure out whether I have to start my "cheat free days" counter back at 0. Right now I am going to bring it current through Friday and see how close I got to 100. Pathetic that it is that important to me. I will definitely feel in control of my life again after I go to the gym tonight.

Thanks again for your prayers and support.

 

[panthergirl]

Hi Cam,

It's your pal from the Marathon thread. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am about your dad. I am a few more weeks into the process and just wanted you to know I definitely know how you are feeling. Just know that you will have your good days and bad. Allow yourself to feel whatever is going on in the moment and you will get through it. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom.

Susan

 

[keenercam]

Hi, Susan -- Thank you so much for your support. Even today, I am sitting here thinking "This really hasn't hit me yet. I can't imagine what Father's Day will be like." I have a beautiful Faberge style porcelain egg on a stand that opens to reveal a rose and the base says "My Daugher, My Joy" -- It is from my Dad this past Christmas and having it in my office to look at all the time really reminds me of the warmth of his love and pride and approval.

Well, I went back to the gym last night and though I didn't do as much as I normally would, it felt good to be there. Lots of time to think and to listen to music, which I find so relaxing. I have been eating pretty well, and hit 20 pounds lost on WISH, with another 11.5 before that, according to my WW records. So, officially, I am at 31.5 pounds lost, with 20 of it attributable to my WISH commitment and the support I find here.

Looking forward to the 5K walk Thursday night. Will really have to invest a nearly impossible amount of time the rest of the month to make my 1200 minutes of exercise goal, but will have no problem meeting my 120 miles. I am also only 1/2 pound away from my "5 in April" goal and hope to do better than that. My Goddaughter's First Holy Communion is in a week and a half -- I am hoping I will have nothing that fits and will have to buy something new.

I really liked the music in the movie "Ice Princess". Two of the songs really hit me and one of them says falling down is okay, because it means you actually were up and trying. I like that a lot. I am going to put the lyrics here to inspire me and then I am going to go find a place to leave them for my WISH friend Liz who did her first walk last weekend.

I'm not afraid to fall
It means I climbed up high
To fall is not to fail
You fail when you don't try
I'm not afraid to fall
I might just learn to fly
And I will spread these wings of mine.

CHORUS:
If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
We get up anyway
If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
And I might fall back down again
And we'll just jump and see
Even if it's the twentieth time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly.

I'm not afraid to fall
And here I told you so
Don't want to rock the boat
But I just had to know
Just a greener side
Or can I touch the sky
But either way I will have tried.

If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
We get up anyway
If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
And I might fall back down again
And we'll just jump and see
Even if it's the thirtieth time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly.

I'm not afraid to fall
I've fallen many times
They laughed when I fell down
But I dared to climb
I'm not afraid to fall
I know I'll fall again
But I can win this in the end.

If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
We get up anyway
If I get up, I might fall back down again
So let's get up, c'mon
If I get up, I might fall back down again
And I might fall back down again
And well, just jump and see
Even if it's the fortieth time
We'll just jump and see if we can fly.