Calling all Parents - Advice Needed Please

[Joanne UK]

Hello,

My daughter is 4 years old and attends a local nursery in the mornings which she loves. She's made lots of friends and everything was wonderful. In the last week however she has started ignoring all her friends when I drop her off and pick her up. They come bounding up to her and she just turns away, i find her behaviour both embarrassing and rude. I know she's only 4 but I can't help worrying that her behaviour is going to put other children off talking to her and she'll end up with no friends. i've spoken to the nursery teacher and she says that she hasn't noticed any differance in her behaviour.

She's had a virus and I've been putting it down to that but now I'm not so sure, she insists that no one is being horrible to her and I believe her so I'm at a loss to understand what's going on.

Has anyone else been through anything similar? She's my eldest child and this is new territory for me. I'm not usually an over anxious mother but we all know our own kids and therefore get a gut feeling when somethings not right.

Thanks in advance for any advice,
Joanne

 

[KayleeUK]

Joanne - haven't got any advice, but some for you. I am sure some parents will be along to help in a mo.

 

[Stella_the_Staff]

Hi Joanne, I have 3 kids, 15, 11 & 10. I can't remember when mine were 4! It is hard to give anyone advice, but this what I think. It might become more of an 'issue' if you let her know that you are noticing something is wrong, I would try and not worry too much. I think if something was seriously wrong she would not want to go to the nursery at all and would probably be very tearful. As they get older they fall out with their friends one minute and the next thing they're best of buddies again. But I would still keep and eye on it and see how she is this week. Hope this helps
Michelle

 

[Cochise]

Joanne,

I have a 5 yr old and a 3 year old.

The 5 year old as with what Stella said is so different each day. They have a best friend each day and a day they dont play with someone. It is all about phases, you will notice if something is really wrong. I would just hang fire and see how this develops, i am sure that in a week or two this will settle.

Look at this way they wouldnt come over to her if she wasnt a good friend.

 

[WDWfan uk]

I'm wondering if this is something she does just while you are there - particularly if the teacher hasn't noticed anything different.
I have watched children at the ages of 3 & 4 behave in a certain way e.g. really crying hard for one, and the moment their parent has gone, they totally change,big smiles, perfectly happy! Honestly - you have to see it to believe it!!
Whatever it is, she is very young and isn't doing it with any conscious motive. She may be feeling insecure - perhaps as she hasn't been well? - try reassurance, and rather than urge her towards the friends who run up, just greet them yourself with a smile and a cheerful hello.
I agree with Michelle - don't make anything of it. Hopefully, she will react differently in a little while - please do let us know

 

[natalielongstaff]

i am a childminder and mum to a four year old ( a boy tho )and i totally agree with what shirley said about how children behave when their parents are around, you would not beleive how fast a tantrum turns off when mum goes out the door !
would it be possible for someone else to drop of your little girl for a couple of days and see how she reacts then ?
asking the teacher to monitor the situation is a great idea
is it half term for you this week,you may find the break helps her get over whatever the problem is
hope that helps

 

[Joanne UK]

Thank you ever so much for all taking the time to reply.

This morning I found out from her best friend's mum that a little boy has been being nasty to her and pulling her hair. I asked Amber and she told me who it was. Mentioned it to the teacher who was aware that this boy is in the habit of doing this sort of thing but wasn't aware he was also doing this to Amber. She was fine in herself this morning - running around the playground as usual. Although it's not nice to think this is happening at least I now know what the problem was and that it's being monitored.

Thanks once again for all your advice and kind words.

Joanne