Call me crazy...

[mom2rtk]

Been there, done that, but with 2 boys. Same as you, I just wanted the experience of raising both. And after years of infertility, I felt crazy for feeling that way. But we had decided we wanted 2, so that would be it. And like you, I felt embarrassed at those feelings. I would have felt the same way if we had a girl and found out the second was another girl.

Then a few years later, we decided we needed another baby. Not a girl baby or a boy baby, just a baby. In fact I just assumed it would be a third boy. And as much as I still wanted a girl, I was a bit sad to find out it wouldn't be that baby boy I had envisioning up until then. Go figure, huh?

Now go buy something pink. She needs at least a few new things.

Congrats on that healthy baby girl!

 

[HarleenQ]

I think it's normal to feel a bit of sadness for the child you won't have, but I don't think it takes away from being delighted with the child you are carrying. You can be both excited for a girl, and disappointed for not having a boy.

There's always next time

 

[usnuzuloose]

My first child was stillborn. Gender never mattered, just a heathy baby.

I am so sorry.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Pigletgirl, you will feel different when she arrives. How does your DH feel? Just enjoy the time of being pregnant! Congrats by the way!

 

[pigletgirl]

Pigletgirl, you will feel different when she arrives. How does your DH feel? Just enjoy the time of being pregnant! Congrats by the way!

He is thrilled to be having another daughter. He grew up with 3 younger brothers so this is just so exciting for him. I'm already feeling better. Just now need to decide on a name for our new daughter!

We plan on telling the grandparents this weekend.

 

[usnuzuloose]

He is thrilled to be having another daughter. He grew up with 3 younger brothers so this is just so exciting for him. I'm already feeling better. Just now need to decide on a name for our new daughter!

We plan on telling the grandparents this weekend.

YaY! I am so happy for you and DH!!

 

[superme80]

Oh I bawled when DS #3 was a boy. It took me a few days to get over it. Now I wouldn't trade any of my boys for the world. I love them all so much. It is ok to grieve the loss of your ideal.

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Totally normal and don't feel guilty. I was convinced my daughter was a boy and when they said girl at the anatomy scan, I said "REALLY?" in a disappointed and slightly rude tone. I just didn't believe it. Well of course I love having my daughter now.

My anatomy scan was last week and we are getting a second girl as well. I was equally excited for a boy or a girl so we were happy. I have a sister so I'm happy to be giving my daughter a sister. Unfortunately, I didn't have a perfect scan and have to see a high risk OB next week. The baby had slightly dialated kidneys. It's not that huge of a deal and will probably resolve before birth, but it would have been nicer not to have to worry.

 

[Jaya]

I sort of went through that back when I was pregnant and the doctor said he was pretty sure I was having twins (this was a long time before sonograms). I had a week of hysteria (living thousands of miles away from home in a middle eastern country) and then acceptance. Then a few weeks later, he determined that I wasn't having twins and I almost felt like I had lost one baby.

 

[superme80]

I sort of went through that back when I was pregnant and the doctor said he was pretty sure I was having twins (this was a long time before sonograms). I had a week of hysteria (living thousands of miles away from home in a middle eastern country) and then acceptance. Then a few weeks later, he determined that I wasn't having twins and I almost felt like I had lost one baby.

With my last pregnancy my middle child was certain mommy was having twins. He wanted a brother and a sister. I went to the doctor and there was only one heartbeat. My 4 year old cried.

 

[pigletgirl]

With my last pregnancy my middle child was certain mommy was having twins. He wanted a brother and a sister. I went to the doctor and there was only one heartbeat. My 4 year old cried.

Aww! How sweet is that?!

 

[Maggie Lizer]

I thought I wanted my second child to be a girl, to balance our brood, but I was surprisingly glad to hear it was another boy. I think my mom had a fleeting moment of sadness, lamenting she will never get to doll up a little princess on Disney trips, but that passed quickly.

OP, I wouldn't feel bad about your brief moment of disappointment, because that is all it was, a brief moment.

 

[Ceila]

Aw, don't let feeling disappointed bother you - it's perfectly natural. You were thinking one way, and reality turns out to be different. It takes some getting used to. And, pregnancy hormones can make you so much more emotional about things!

It's absolutely possible to feel a tiny bit sad about the gender and still be so, so grateful for a healthy baby. Those two feelings are not mutually exclusive, despite what some people may say to you. Hugs!! (And maybe it will help to think of all the cute little matching outfits you can have them wear while they're still little enough to let you get away with it, lol!)

 

[slo]

My DH was originally a little disappointed when we found out we were having a second girl.
He would have liked a son to carry on his last name (he's an only child and his dad only has a sister).
He would have liked a son to go to auto races with
He would have liked a son to show how to work on cars
He would have liked a son to show how to do projects around the house
He would have liked so many things fathers do with sons.
I understood and I knew he needed a little time to adjust his thinking.

Now our 2nd daughter does things like a son would
She loves cars and has said at age 12 that she wants to be an automotive engineer
She loves helping him with projects
She loves learning how cars works
Someday she'll go to auto races with him, because she enjoys watching them on TV
And all this developed without him pursuing it - it just happened, so it was meant to be

What I'm trying to say is that the disappointment is normal, but once you embrace the fact that you're having 2 beautiful girls, everything will fall into place and you'll wonder why you were ever bummed about her not being a boy. I know my DH does. He loves having daddy's girl be someone he can putz around with like a son.

God bless and I know everything will fall into place for you and your family

 

[mickeyboat]

We did not find out DD#2's gender until she was born. I was convinced she was going to be a boy, and when I was told it's a girl, I checked for myself just to make sure they had not made a mistake.

DH has three sisters and we have two girls, so no one to carry on the name. But that does not really matter. DD#2 is DH's buddy. She loves to hang out with him, she hunts with him, goes four-wheeling with him, and she is an amazing athlete. We would not trade her for the world. I am so glad she is a girl.

OP - it is completely normal to be disappointed, but in the end you won't be able to imagine your family any other way. Congratulations!

 

[minniebeth]

I never had a sister, and when I found out I was pregnant with DD #2, a friend mentioned what a blessing my daugters will be as sisters. I had never even thought of that while thinking of the genders, and my friend was right. Even though my DDs are 4 years apart, their sister bond is a special blessing we are grateful for. Congratulations!

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

My wife and I had all boys and, so far, all of the grandchildren have been girls. We're having a ball doing all the girl stuff now, a bit later in life. You just never know what life will bring you.

As a side note, I was gonna just type "Okay, you're crazy" cause you asked for it, but figured my sense of humor might be a bit dry for this one.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I agree, it's normal to feel a little sad if youve had your heart set on something else. Just about the time I finally became pregnant, we had recently decided we'd start the adoption process for a Chinese girl. Even with my pregnancy I felt a little sadness about "losing" that Chinese girl somehow. It was strange because there wasn't any particular child, it was just a desire.

In my heart I always knew I wanted a girl. DH and I weren't big "kid" people, and frankly, boys scared me. I'd watch them throwing rocks at live animals (seagulls at the beach, chickens on the farm, etc.) and didn't like it at all. A lot of them always had snots running down their noses, etc., too. Yuck. (lol) So when I became pregnant with twins, I felt it was likely two girls. There we were in the first US that we could see the gender and the only thing we could see with one twin was a big scrotum! What?? "What about the other one???" Nothing; couldn't see. I walked out of there a little shell shocked, in disbelief. Then the thought hit me on the way home that maybe there were two boys! It was a while until the next US so I worried for a little while even though my mother kept saying she felt the other was a girl.

Next US happened to be a genetic screening US. (How naive I was going into that just caring about what the gender of Twin A was. ) The tech said she thought it was a girl, but the doc would let me know for sure. Doc came in and hurriedly said, "Yes, it's a girl". I had about a second of delight. But the other half of that sentence was, "But we have a problem with Twin B" (the boy). What?? OMG, what kind of problem? I'd already, at that point, begun to like the idea of having a boy (or boys) and think of his (their) name(s). That day, when we walked out of there, DH said, "Now you can buy some girl's clothes" and I was like, "Did you hear what she said? There might be a problem with our little boy!" and thereafter, that was my main concern. I worried for the remainder of the pregnancy, but fortunately, there was nothing wrong. I still worried secretely a bit about not really knowing what to do with a boy, though.

Till birth. And nightmare delivery, etc. It had been over 24 hours and I still hadn't really held either of my babies yet - DH had taken over while I was out of it. (Was so proud of him. Every time I'd open my eyes I'd see him with a nurse and one of the babies learning what to do, etc.) Next day I finally fed my son. He had these amazing little wisps of blond hair, like I did when I was young - everyone was talking about it. I loved just looking at him, was in awe. Then I put him up on my chest to burp him and something magical happened. When he snuggled in, I felt an immediate and overwhelming sense of love for this little boy that sort of blew me away. I'll never forget it. I remember thinking, "Why did I ever worry about this?" Growing up my boy never threw rocks at anything living or had a snotty, dripping nose, I made sure of it. And I still feel the same way I felt that day when I look at him.

Oh, and my girl is pretty cool, too.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, OP!

 

[superme80]

Aww! How sweet is that?!

My 2 year old was just mad I didn't have a Rooster Boy Chicken. All 3 of my boys have a very special bond. They love to play together and giggle together.

 

[Wendy31]

Totally normal and don't feel guilty. I was convinced my daughter was a boy and when they said girl at the anatomy scan, I said "REALLY?" in a disappointed and slightly rude tone. I just didn't believe it. Well of course I love having my daughter now.

My anatomy scan was last week and we are getting a second girl as well. I was equally excited for a boy or a girl so we were happy. I have a sister so I'm happy to be giving my daughter a sister. Unfortunately, I didn't have a perfect scan and have to see a high risk OB next week. The baby had slightly dialated kidneys. It's not that huge of a deal and will probably resolve before birth, but it would have been nicer not to have to worry.

Just wanted to chime in w/ a little bit of reassurance - The same thing happened w/ our younger DS at my first scan. His kidney was still slightly enlarged at a follow-up scan the following month, so I was referred to a high-risk OB as well. I was extremely worried as well. His kidney stayed that way throughout the pregnancy - but, when he was born, he was completely fine. About a week after he was born, we had some kind of special scan or ultrasound done on his kidney, & it had resolved to the point that there was not need for us to do anything further.