Crankyshank said:
I'm a lapsed agnostic Catholic with Pantheistic leanings
I consider myself a Catholic by heritage and not necessarily by practice. I went to Catholic school all the way straight through college (except one year at UMASS). I'm going to a Dominican college now (which my MIL thought was Dominican like the country and not like the friars

)
I go to Mass on occasion (when my priest needs a lector mostly). I am fascinated by the history of the Church. I am comforted by the ritual of the mass, and making candle offerings, but I lost my faith years ago during the beginnings of the Church scandal and because of the fact the Church has really lost touch with its members. I get more and more angry with Church leaders who turned a blind eye to the abuse and yet try to incorporate more tactics the more evangelical fundamentalist protestant sects use in hopes of enticing more people to the Church.
I love Mary and still enjoy reading my book about the lives of the saints. Maybe because I came from a less than devout family, except for my very religious Meme, but I honestly don't understand the need to 100% subscribe to the politics of the Church in order to be considered a "real Catholic". I find that more "Born Again Catholics" seem to spout that better Catholic than you attitude than those who were raised Catholic. I wonder if that's because BAC's tend to come from more evangelical backgrounds and cradle Catholics consider it more of a heritage. Either way it bothers me and the more and more I encounter that attitude, the more I question where I fit in spiritually.
Interesting. I still go for family weddings, baptisms, Christmas, Easter, etc. but with intention of being there for the life ritual, not as worship.
I wish I felt that I could still be considered a Catholic but there are things in Mass I cannot truthfully say. For one, I do not believe that God created Jesus to die for our sins. I believe in a loving God, not one who would need to create another person to sacrifice in order to forgive others. I also believe that we are responsible for our own actions and sins and that no matter how wonderful Jesus was, each of us is responsible for ourselves and that we should be good not depend on Jesus to forgive us.
I do love the ritual and heritage aspect of it, and it makes me sad when I go because I feel like this. However, I have to be honest. My beliefs are Unitarian Universalist and that is a religion that accepts that spirituality is a constant journey and we can get wisdom from all sources - not just one. I have read the Bible, the Gnostic gospels, the Tao Te Ching, the Koran and I am particularly interested (since I am Polish) in the Slavic Paganism practiced in Eastern Europe before Christianity. I like knowing about all religions and I believe in one thing my mom says (a very devout Catholic, with an extreme devotion to Mary) When we die, we will find out that bits and pieces of all religions were right, but that all religions/churches did things or said things that were wrong.
I think that there are many aspects of Catholicism that are good, but at least in the church in my area, the homilies are too fire and brimstone and demanding, not asking for money and not enough on values, good works, and loving humanity. It's sad, because I know that other Catholics have a completely different world view - lanother Catholic church down the shore (NJ) is not like this at all - and like my former principal Sister Elvine - if saints really exist, when she dies she will most assuredly become one. She was amazingly kind and wonderful and eventually went to Africa as a missionary.
It's sad that people argue over the things they disagree with, forgetting all those things they do agree on. If everyone just believed in being a good, kind person and harming no one, including themselves, we could disagree on what books are sacred, and what interpretations are correct, and still celebrate life and humanity each day with happiness instead of war, arguing and disharmony.
I will continue to go to Mass for my family and continue to go to my UU church for myself. I will follow my moral compass and do what I believe to be the best and openly state that I don't know what is right (correct) to believe I only know what is right (good) to do. I can't believe in any angry God who would punish me for that.
If you're going to Catholic Mass because you get a great spiritual feeling out of it and your priests are helping you with that, I congratulate you. It's wonderful to have the strength hold your own ethics as well.
