BUSH SPEECH SHOCKS WORLD
President Really Mad at Saddam, He Reveals
In a history-making address to the nation last night, President George W. Bush stunned the world by revealing that he is really mad at Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein.
Calling Saddam a homicidal dictator addicted to weapons of mass destruction, Mr. Bush surprised world leaders and ordinary citizens alike with a blistering indictment of the Iraqi leader an oratorical assault that no one had seen coming.
This speech was so chock full of surprises and new information, Im still trying to absorb it all, said President Vladimir Putin of Russia. I must admit that I was totally unprepared for what I was about to hear.
At the White House, Press Secretary Ari Fleischer said that the contents of the speech had been guarded with the utmost secrecy for fear that someone might leak the startling bombshell that the President was really mad at Saddam.
In order to have maximum impact with a speech like this, the element of surprise is everything, Mr. Fleischer said. All I can say is, mission accomplished.
In New Yorks busy Times Square, throngs of tourists stopped in silence to watch the President say he was mad at Saddam on the enormous Sony Jumbotron video screen.
Charles Barton of Duluth, Minnesota was among the visitors to New York who stopped to watch the Presidents shocking and history-making speech.
There are a handful of moments in your life that youll always remember, and this is one of them, Mr. Barton said. I know Ill never forget where I was the night that President Bush told the world how mad he was at Saddam Hussein.
****Borowitz Reports****
President Really Mad at Saddam, He Reveals
In a history-making address to the nation last night, President George W. Bush stunned the world by revealing that he is really mad at Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein.
Calling Saddam a homicidal dictator addicted to weapons of mass destruction, Mr. Bush surprised world leaders and ordinary citizens alike with a blistering indictment of the Iraqi leader an oratorical assault that no one had seen coming.
This speech was so chock full of surprises and new information, Im still trying to absorb it all, said President Vladimir Putin of Russia. I must admit that I was totally unprepared for what I was about to hear.
At the White House, Press Secretary Ari Fleischer said that the contents of the speech had been guarded with the utmost secrecy for fear that someone might leak the startling bombshell that the President was really mad at Saddam.
In order to have maximum impact with a speech like this, the element of surprise is everything, Mr. Fleischer said. All I can say is, mission accomplished.
In New Yorks busy Times Square, throngs of tourists stopped in silence to watch the President say he was mad at Saddam on the enormous Sony Jumbotron video screen.
Charles Barton of Duluth, Minnesota was among the visitors to New York who stopped to watch the Presidents shocking and history-making speech.
There are a handful of moments in your life that youll always remember, and this is one of them, Mr. Barton said. I know Ill never forget where I was the night that President Bush told the world how mad he was at Saddam Hussein.
****Borowitz Reports****
