BUSH ORDERS SONY PLAYSTATION VERSION OF WAR WITH IRAQ
Bests Cheney, Rumsfeld in White House Rec Room Tourney
Stung by criticism that he has been underestimating the costs and difficulties of a war with Iraq, President Bush has commissioned a Sony PlayStation version of the Iraq campaign to aid in his war planning effort.
The PlayStation Game, X-TREME IRAQ 2002, has been installed in the White House rec room, sources says, and occupies between twelve and fourteen hours of the Presidents average workday.
President Bush, who reportedly found the PlayStation game really hard at first, has been encouraged of late by his increasingly impressive scores, White House aides say.
The more he plays the game, the better he gets at it, which bodes very well for the actual war on Iraq, one aide said.
Mr. Bush has become so proficient at X-TREME IRAQ 2002, in fact, that he has challenged Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Vice President Dick Cheney to join him in a PlayStation tournament and has consistently bested them with his stellar scores.
The three men spent all of yesterday holed up in the White House rec room honing and perfecting the Iraqi war plan, which White House aides termed awesome.
In other Iraq news, Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein kicked all foreign media out of the country yesterday with the exception of MSNBC, which he did not know existed.
Although MSNBC has been broadcasting from Iraq for months, Saddam claimed never to have heard of it.
When told that MSNBC was a 24-hour news service whose biggest star was someone named Ashleigh Banfield and whose most-hyped program starred Phil Donahue, the Iraqi strongman reportedly said, This is a joke, right?
***Borowitz Reports****
Bests Cheney, Rumsfeld in White House Rec Room Tourney
Stung by criticism that he has been underestimating the costs and difficulties of a war with Iraq, President Bush has commissioned a Sony PlayStation version of the Iraq campaign to aid in his war planning effort.
The PlayStation Game, X-TREME IRAQ 2002, has been installed in the White House rec room, sources says, and occupies between twelve and fourteen hours of the Presidents average workday.
President Bush, who reportedly found the PlayStation game really hard at first, has been encouraged of late by his increasingly impressive scores, White House aides say.
The more he plays the game, the better he gets at it, which bodes very well for the actual war on Iraq, one aide said.
Mr. Bush has become so proficient at X-TREME IRAQ 2002, in fact, that he has challenged Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Vice President Dick Cheney to join him in a PlayStation tournament and has consistently bested them with his stellar scores.
The three men spent all of yesterday holed up in the White House rec room honing and perfecting the Iraqi war plan, which White House aides termed awesome.
In other Iraq news, Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein kicked all foreign media out of the country yesterday with the exception of MSNBC, which he did not know existed.
Although MSNBC has been broadcasting from Iraq for months, Saddam claimed never to have heard of it.
When told that MSNBC was a 24-hour news service whose biggest star was someone named Ashleigh Banfield and whose most-hyped program starred Phil Donahue, the Iraqi strongman reportedly said, This is a joke, right?
***Borowitz Reports****
It is sad that people have nothing better to do with their lives then think up mindless insults to hurl at the Pres. This one isn't even funny. 
