Bus stop drama (long-ish)

[mamamary]

When my kids were in elementary parents were always present and I kept an eye out as well.

Never had any trouble.

Young kids should have their parents at the stop imo. Esp if they are home.

However that is my opinion only.

For elem. school - At our bus stop everyone has a parent/relative present. For middle school - the kids are pretty much on their own.

 

[RitaZ.]

Today, I sent DH out because I was in PJ's and the kids from last week were heavily involved. These are also the kids who's parents are already at work. Those parents asked me to watch their kids. I was worried that one of them would be hurt and they would tattle about the situation and I'd get another drama filled call.

Since the parents asked you to keep an eye on their kids, then give them a call to tell them what their kids were doing and how you are concerned that they will get hurt. They should know how their kids are behaving and should be the ones to talk to them about their behavior.

Good luck!

 

[Tinijocaro]

I'm really surprised the mother called you about the kick. Big deal, kids do that stuff all the time. I have 2 boys and 2 girls. My boys and their friends get into little scraps all the time and we parents don't call each other. I think that's ridiculous.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

For elem. school - At our bus stop everyone has a parent/relative present. For middle school - the kids are pretty much on their own.

They only had that rule for the K parents at our school. And believe me the driver knew who they were.

 

[mamamary]

They only had that rule for the K parents at our school. And believe me the driver knew who they were.

Didn't mean to imply that it was a rule that someone was at the bus stop it's just that this is how most of us feel. I've been at the bus stop 7 years (wow) and it just works out that all the parents feel that their child should have someone with them.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Didn't mean to imply that it was a rule that someone was at the bus stop it's just that this is how most of us feel. I've been at the bus stop 7 years (wow) and it just works out that all the parents feel that their child should have someone with them.

Oh, OK. I thought you meant your school had that rule. I thought wow they are strict.

Most of us parents with little ones, k,1,2,3 always went to the stop. Once they hit 4/5 the parents backed off somewhat.

 

[ckoncurat]

Maybe I am old fashioned- but I walk my kids to the bus stop EVERY day. (It's at the end of my court, about four houses down). That includes my middle school daughter, who is twelve.- I walk to her bus stop too. AFTER school I don't neccesarily go down, since I hate standing around and the bus arrival time varies, but I am aware of the time and am at least outside when they get off the bus. If it is raining, I go pick them up in the car.

 

[LindaG4458]

We didn't have kids but when we lived in MA our corner was the "unofficial" bus stop. The official stop was actually down the street. The kids around the corner would be late and the bus would pick them up closer and closer to the corner until, finally, it became a de facto bus stop. That was fine during the good weather. In the winter DH was the only one in the neighborhood to get his hiney out of bed and have the snow removed before the bus came, so the kids gathered in my driveway. The unspoken agreement was when I opened the garage door the kids would clear the driveway of themselves and their belongings so I could back out. Although it never happened, if anything was left in the driveway I would not get out of the car to remove it.

One day a mother came to the bus stop with her child. She had a horrified expression on her face as I backed out to go to work. Excuse me, this is my car, my garage, and my driveway! We are being nice to let the kids stay here. She apparently complained (?) and the bus stop was moved again. We never had them return before we moved away.

 

[bumbershoot]

I would send my kids a little later to the bus stop. Closer to the time bus arrives. Just avoid the whole mess.

I agree. Since your house is right there, and you're having to watch anyway, might as well just keep your son inside or on your porch.

Those parents asked me to watch their kids. I was worried that one of them would be hurt and they would tattle about the situation and I'd get another drama filled call.

Not to be all fearful, but I would bet that if one of the kids truly got hurt and it was YOUR watch, you'd be getting more than just a drama filled call.

I'd drop this responsibility, unless the parents really want to get calls from you about how their kids were acting, and not just "let me explain why my kid did something to your kid" calls....


But what do I know? We were the only kids on our unincorporated dead-end street, so we were the only ones at our stop, which was the first stop on the way to school and last coming home (oh that was rotten), and I never dealt with this stuff as a kid or a parent.

 

[Disney Doll]

Have the other parents called you to discuss an incident at the bus stop? This is what I'm really trying to avoid. I'd be happy to let the kids work it out but I don't need other parents calling me to 'discuss' it.

What would they be discussing? Why you don't monitor the bus stop? Why would you? It's not your job. And if a parent called and questioned me, I'd say "If you are concerned about what happens at the bus stop, I'd recommend that you go to the stop and check it out".

 

[Disney Doll]

I am friends with this parent. We just have very very different styles. I am FAR more of a kids will be kids parents and as long as no one is bleeding a lot I try to stay out of it. The boys were more than over it by after school. The sister brought it up. The mom is very 'hands on.' Lots of discussions about 'good choices' etc etc and while she doesn't think her kids are 100% innocent all the time, she does have some blinders about how innocent they really are. Her DD was WAY involved in the backpack hitting today but I'm sure if she was hurt she would say that she was an innocent victim. I want a good relationship with this family. I LIKE them a lot. They are very good people, even if we parent differently. ETA; I also know they wouldn't approve of the 'backpack hitting game' that both of their children were participating in.

It sounds to me like everyone has a similar level of involvement. I think I will back off a little and see if anyone else steps up when there is a problem (the flower beds.) I will also try to hold DS back a bit from the stop.

I was worried we were too over the top but it doesn't sound like we are too far out of line. I told DH he was a little harsh this am and he gets that.

Well, if "hands on" Mom complained to me about what was happening at the bus stop, I'd suggest that she become even more "hands on" and come and police it herself.