Budget Buster - Groceries!

[Trishtack]

Thanks again for the wonderful advice. I love the recipes. You hit upon three of my family's absolute favorite foods. I can't wait to try them! DD and I are all set to cook on Sunday!

DH didn't know bc he never asked and I never complained. He finally asked last week and when I told him, it brought forth the need to change.

I told my parents I needed them to contribute and they are going to starting in March. One step at a time...

Thanks again!

 

[Natalie's Mommy]

Thanks again for the wonderful advice. I love the recipes. You hit upon three of my family's absolute favorite foods. I can't wait to try them! DD and I are all set to cook on Sunday!

DH didn't know bc he never asked and I never complained. He finally asked last week and when I told him, it brought forth the need to change.

I told my parents I needed them to contribute and they are going to starting in March. One step at a time...

Thanks again!

sounds like you put your foot down and some changes are comming forward. how about you make your mom and husband help you with sunday cooking too.

 

[TnTWalter]

you NEED this book
http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310585902

eat at home blog with weekly menus and grocery lists
http://eatathomecooks.com/weekly-menus

Best of luck to you.

 

[happygirl]

Thanks again for the wonderful advice. I love the recipes. You hit upon three of my family's absolute favorite foods. I can't wait to try them! DD and I are all set to cook on Sunday!

DH didn't know bc he never asked and I never complained. He finally asked last week and when I told him, it brought forth the need to change.

I told my parents I needed them to contribute and they are going to starting in March. One step at a time...

Thanks again!

why are you waiting till March for them to start helping? I hope you can get some help!!

 

[brunette8706]

Thanks all for the wonderful suggestions and thank you for extending care for my well being. I truly appreciate it.

I love the idea of potato soup as that is one of my dad's favorites.

My parents do not contribute anything to the household financially. They spend their monthly social security on medications and the remainder seems to go to my brothers (one who doesn't work and neither does his wife and the other that makes of $70k per year). DH just realized they aren't contributing a week ago and that's when he said we needed to take a serious look at budgeting for food. Mom tries somewhat with her money but my dad spends every penny of his w/i two days.
DH loved the idea of a meal plan each week but still will not cook.

My mom just won't. She does make pb sandwiches or cereal or a grilled cheese for dad when I'm not home.

I have printed all the suggestions and will start by making a meal plan tomorrow while DD is at dance.

I am the only shopper and as the only driver no one else could go anyway.

I have two brothers and they both have wives that don't work and one brother doesn't work but they contribute nothing to the care of finances.

They all know I am running on empty. I am just now recovering from a sinus infection, ear infection, bronchitis, and back spasms that all hit in the same week. They say, "We don't know what we would do without you". But honestly not one of the three offered to do one single thing while I was sick. DD (6) did though. She was my "nurse" and "waitress".

Thanks again for all the wonderful suggestions. I got a free one yr to Rachel Ray today and am looking forward to some serious planning this weekend! The crock pot is out as well as the food processor and I stocked up on groceries tonight that you all suggested like cheap frozen dinners and salad items etc.

Anyway I have used this posting to whine and that's something I try to not do. So thanks again and have a good night!

*
WAIT! WAIT! This goes WAY beyond getting cooking tips and Rachel Ray crock pot suggestions. This whole thread just doesn't sound right to me. You are the only one working in your household! You do it ALL, shop, cook, clean, drive and support all 4 adults in your household. Your parents pay for their medications from their Social Security Checks. That doesn't make sense because MEDICARE would kick in to pay for a partial amount for medications not the Social Security check.

You really seem that your spending of $800 to $988.00 a month doesn't really bother you. You seem more concerned on pleasing your parents with various food from recipes. . I'm sorry but $800 to $988 a month on groceries for 4 adults is extremely high. That amount is nearly a mortgage payment. Yet you are more concerned about recipes!

Further, you state that your parents send money to your brother that doesn't work and your other brother that makes $70k a year. It just seems like you are really not upset about this either. You talk about it as if it's a minor issue in your household. This sends about 25,000 red flags.

Finally it doesn't take rocket science to figure this whole scenario out. They are clearly taking advantage of you. You need to change the rules now, such as they will pay you a partial amount for the groceries at the very least, maybe they can pay you partially for the utilities too!

 

[iheartpeterpan]

Actually I don't think $800 per month for 4 adults is extremely high. I routinely spend this for my family of 4.

And medicare absolutely does not pay everything. If you're in the donut hole on medications it can cost a load until it kicks back in.

But, I agree with everything else you said. It sounds to me like the parents in this situation are acting a lot like my teenagers -- sense of entitlement, ungrateful, expecting the world at their feet. It is probably a reaction to their change in life status and with the right support you should be able to work through it. I agree with someone else's suggestion that you try to get them involved at your local senior center or with some sort of of home support (meals on wheels, etc.).

Best of luck to the OP.

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

*
WAIT! WAIT! This goes WAY beyond getting cooking tips and Rachel Ray crock pot suggestions. This whole thread just doesn't sound right to me. You are the only one working in your household! You do it ALL, shop, cook, clean, drive and support all 4 adults in your household. Your parents pay for their medications from their Social Security Checks. That doesn't make sense because MEDICARE would kick in to pay for a partial amount for medications not the Social Security check.

You really seem that your spending of $800 to $988.00 a month doesn't really bother you. You seem more concerned on pleasing your parents with various food from recipes. . I'm sorry but $800 to $988 a month on groceries for 4 adults is extremely high. That amount is nearly a mortgage payment. Yet you are more concerned about recipes!

Further, you state that your parents send money to your brother that doesn't work and your other brother that makes $70k a year. It just seems like you are really not upset about this either. You talk about it as if it's a minor issue in your household. This sends about 25,000 red flags.

Finally it doesn't take rocket science to figure this whole scenario out. They are clearly taking advantage of you. You need to change the rules now, such as they will pay you a partial amount for the groceries at the very least, maybe they can pay you partially for the utilities too!

It is so easy for us, being impartial, to see that there are so many issues here, the least of which is cooking. It seems to me though that the op does not want to acknowledge it maybe because the truth hurts. Great post Brunette!

OP I hope your parents keep their word and start contributing, BOTH financially and in the home. Something tells me though that the excuses will begin in March. I hope for your sake I am dead wrong.

 

[natfrac]

I remember seeing a budgeting show on Oprah, and they said $250 per month, per adult for groceries. That amount would also include dining out. So, I don't think $800 a month is out of line.

When I was a single parent working full-time, I had a list of 15 minute dinners. I am not a morning person, so a crock pot didn't work for me. I would make things like chile, spaghetti, tacos, homemade mac & cheese, baked chicken etc. As long as I had hamburger thawed, I could make a variety of items when I got home. I would give my kids a choice, but they had to agree because I was only cooking one dinner.

Hamburger and chicken were staples in our freezer. Money was tight (deadbeat dad=no child support), but I tried to fix something reasonably healthy each night. My kids were big veggie eaters, so along with the usual bagged salads, I also kept frozen broccoli and cauliflower on hand. On the weekends I would make things like pasta salad that my kids could add tuna, cheese, etc to for an after school snack.

Your budget is doable, but as PPs have mentioned you have stop being a slave to your family's demands.

 

[hereyago]

This is so true for the basic Medicare. My mom has a supplement plus Tricare for Life as my DF was retired military. And if the person needs adult diapers, boost supplement drink,etc. all these things are not covered, butt they count up quickly. Hearing aids you pay on your own as well.

 

[brunette8706]

It is so easy for us, being impartial, to see that there are so many issues here, the least of which is cooking. It seems to me though that the op does not want to acknowledge it maybe because the truth hurts. Great post Brunette!

OP I hope your parents keep their word and start contributing, BOTH financially and in the home. Something tells me though that the excuses will begin in March. I hope for your sake I am dead wrong.

*
Aw thanks!

Yeah, the OP has yet to chime in. The whole launch post just doesn't make sense to me...

 

[mrsklamc]

If you won't fix this for you PLEASE fix it for your daughter.

Stop wasting precious time you should be spending with your actual child catering to adults who are acting like children.

Your husband hasn't cooked before, your Mom doesn't want to....Too bad! You are working a full time job while they are home.

You are teaching your daughter that this is an acceptable way to be treated. It's not!

 

[brunette8706]

If you won't fix this for you PLEASE fix it for your daughter.

Stop wasting precious time you should be spending with your actual child catering to adults who are acting like children.

Your husband hasn't cooked before, your Mom doesn't want to....Too bad! You are working a full time job while they are home.

You are teaching your daughter that this is an acceptable way to be treated. It's not!

*
AGREED!

 

[kathie859]

It's a giant leap from "nurturer" to "doormat". There's been several good suggestions made by your fellow posters, OP----sit down with DH and come up with a game plan---TOGETHER! I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt here and say he doesn't realize how stressed and overwhelmed you are feeling. Good luck!

 

[mrsklamc]

I'm not sure what you mean by that but OP's posts are much more indicative of 'doormat' than 'nurturer.'

 

[Colleen27]

And medicare absolutely does not pay everything. If you're in the donut hole on medications it can cost a load until it kicks back in.

But, I agree with everything else you said. It sounds to me like the parents in this situation are acting a lot like my teenagers -- sense of entitlement, ungrateful, expecting the world at their feet. It is probably a reaction to their change in life status and with the right support you should be able to work through it. I agree with someone else's suggestion that you try to get them involved at your local senior center or with some sort of of home support (meals on wheels, etc.).

Not to mention all the other things that aren't covered... My grandmother had medicare and a drug supplement and still had enough OOP to eat up most of her social security.

I agree about the other issues, but I know how complex those can be to deal with and how hard it is to "parent" your parents. My mom was in those shoes for years with my grandmother, while her sister took advantage of the situation (in the form of several "loans" that she had neither the intent nor the ability to pay back) and not lifting a finger to help with Grandma's care. But sometimes it is less stressful/overwhelming to deal with the symptoms, like the grocery budget, than to try to change family dynamics that have likely been established over the course of a lifetime.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

why are you waiting till March for them to start helping? I hope you can get some help!!

I believe she meant financially, and I would imagine Mom & Pop have already spent their Feb SSN $. Agree with the OP that baby steps at this point are probably the best idea. If she can avoid any drama and make these changes a little at a time, it will go smoother. Just need to make sure these are the first of many of those baby steps