Brownie Leader advice

[Pembo]

DD's brownie leader is a super sweet, super nice person. She is the sole leader for dd's troop plus her older daughters gs troop. Her girls play soccer & softball and her dh is the coach. They are both on swim team and the older one sings with a local group. She is a ft teacher...in short, she's very busy and often says how overwhelmed she is.

This is our 3rd year in scouts. To help her out, I offered the use of my dh's church for regular meetings. I offered to plan a Halloween party and a field trip this spring.

I do not want to take over!!! I just want to help her where I can. Typically the girls do nothing over the summer. Another mom & I were talking and thought it would be nice to plan a pool party for the girls.

So I emailed the leader for the email addresses of the all the parents and told her that the other mom and I want to help her where we can. NOW the leader talked to the other mom at a softball game and she is worried that we think she is not doing a good job.

She is doing a WONDERFUL job. We just want to help her out and we thought a summer pool party would be fun.

SOOO my question to my Dis-friends....if you were the leader would you be offended by our offer of help? Should we have handled this differently? What can we do now ????

Opinions please....

 

[klj27]

I would send her a thank you card for all that she has done and let her know how much you appreciate her. That should help her realize that you think she is doing a great job.

 

[clh2]

Myabe you could approach it from a "heh - let's get together, take care oof the fall registration paperwork/sign-ups" sort of angle. It is REALLY nice of you to offer. When I was a GS leader, I didn't turn down any offer for help!

Now - from a Debbie Downer perspective. GS has a book called SafetyWise, that should be adhered to. I know you want the girls all to have a great time, but if there is swimming involved - there probably needs to be a red Cross-certified lifeguad wathcing the girls in the pool. (It's been a while for me, so I don't know this stuff like I used to know it.)

Better yet - and I'm sorry my DD is now 16, so I don't remember the Brownie try-its - does swimming tie into any of the Brownie try-its? That might be a way to help out too, especially if the troop likes ot wrok on them.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

While your intentions are good I have to agree that it looks like you are trying to take over. I would have been offended too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Firstly, she is the only leader? She does follow the safety-wise guidelines and has parental help at meetings, correct? I would think you guys are helping her with Brownies.

Yea, it sounds like you are not trying to take over but perhaps were a little insensitive with your approach to party planning for the troop.

A personal phone call would have been a better way to handle it.

 

[lovesmurfs]

DD's brownie leader is a super sweet, super nice person. She is the sole leader for dd's troop plus her older daughters gs troop. Her girls play soccer & softball and her dh is the coach. They are both on swim team and the older one sings with a local group. She is a ft teacher...in short, she's very busy and often says how overwhelmed she is.

This is our 3rd year in scouts. To help her out, I offered the use of my dh's church for regular meetings. I offered to plan a Halloween party and a field trip this spring.

I do not want to take over!!! I just want to help her where I can. Typically the girls do nothing over the summer. Another mom & I were talking and thought it would be nice to plan a pool party for the girls.

So I emailed the leader for the email addresses of the all the parents and told her that the other mom and I want to help her where we can. NOW the leader talked to the other mom at a softball game and she is worried that we think she is not doing a good job.

She is doing a WONDERFUL job. We just want to help her out and we thought a summer pool party would be fun.

SOOO my question to my Dis-friends....if you were the leader would you be offended by our offer of help? Should we have handled this differently? What can we do now ????

Opinions please....

Ummm. I would check with the GSA. It's my understanding that two adults need to oversee the troop during meetings. You're supposed to have at least two leaders.

I often have a lot of commitments, but everything is slide-locked into my head / calendar and generally runs smoothly. I confess to being offended when anyone implies that I'm overburdened.

She also seems to need to let go a bit.

 

[LaraK]

I just came from my troop's meeting. We have another leader and me (co-leader) and we have four parents stay and help. My co-leader and I NEVER turn down help...

 

[The Mystery Machine]

OP, in order to host a "troop event" according to Safety-Wise, you need to follow some rules with the pool party. First of all you probably need to be a registered member of your troop.

Not sure how your troop is set up to facilitate a "troop pool party" however if we had a pool party at a home, we never called it a "troop event" because you would need to follow the rules. We just had a "pool party".

That is my 2 cents on pool stuff for GS troops.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

You could have written the post about me until the offended part. I am the sole leader for my DD8's Brownie troop, and the sole leader of my DD11's Junior troop nad was the sole leader for DD15's troop for 8 years till her troop ended. I have been a leader of at least one and as many as all 3 of their troops at any given time for going on 12 years now. I have always welcomed help but rarely get it. I do require moms to stay and help and have them register with GSUSA to follow the rules and protect myself but the extent of help is at meetings only. I also hold 2 positions on our service unit board, my kids have very full schedules (though my DH stopped coaching) and I teach but only part time preschool.

I would LOVE it if someone stepped up and offered to help, so I think you were fine, but I also might wonder if someone was disapointed in what I was doing if they planned things without me (just the insecure part of me coming put.) So personally I think you were fine but if you call her and just tell her that you didn't mean to step on her toes but were just trying to help, it would probably smooth everything over and she will go from unsure to THRILLED to have your assistance!

ETA- You are not required to have 2 leaders but yoou are required to have 2 registered adults at all meetings/events, etc. I am registered as an "Leader" and the other moms register as "adult volunteer."

 

[RF536]

As a den leader for cub scouts I would not have been offended with your offer to help were you can. It is nice when other parents offer to run or plan one of the meetings for me, or help out in some other way. Different people have different resouces and skills. I am not very handy when it comes to building things, but one of my dads is a construction worker, so he had the boys over for a few meetings and helped them with building bird houses. I also am terrible at knots, another dad, who was a former scout, stepped in and taught the boys for me.

 

[MrsPete]

I do not want to take over!!! I just want to help her where I can. Typically the girls do nothing over the summer. Another mom & I were talking and thought it would be nice to plan a pool party for the girls.

Scout troops typically don't meet over the summer. Individual girls may attend summer camp, but that's usually it. Families travel, kids have other summer plans . . . so the scout year runs along with the school year.

However, a pool party would be a great kick-off activity for August. The girls could swim while the adults go over the calendar, etc. It could be combined with the Investiture/Rededication ceremony.

Now - from a Debbie Downer perspective. GS has a book called SafetyWise, that should be adhered to. I know you want the girls all to have a great time, but if there is swimming involved - there probably needs to be a red Cross-certified lifeguad wathcing the girls in the pool. (It's been a while for me, so I don't know this stuff like I used to know it.)

There's also a separate permission slip for swimming. I'm sure my girls earned a swimming Try It, but I cannot remember whether it was a national award or an Our Council's Own. If you didn't want to do a whole Try It, you can always do a fun patch, which goes on the back of the vest and has no requirements -- it just means that the girl participated in an activity.

Ummm. I would check with the GSA. It's my understanding that two adults need to oversee the troop during meetings. You're supposed to have at least two leaders.

Yes, SafetyWise requires two unrelated adults, at least one of whom is female. Additional chaperones may be required depending upon the number and age of the girls.

Not sure how your troop is set up to facilitate a "troop pool party" however if we had a pool party at a home, we never called it a "troop event" because you would need to follow the rules. We just had a "pool party".

Please reconsider this choice. If the girls and their parents know that it's still really a scout event (i.e., only the troop is invited, invitations were made via a meeting), you could be held personally liable if anything bad were to happen -- and your council wouldn't support you if you hadn't followed SafetyWise and done the trip paperwork.

When I was 18 and a camp counselor at a scout camp, one of my scouts drowned. It was more than half my lifetime ago, but it's one of those days that's etched in my memory forever. Every person involved (and I'm not claiming that I did anything myself -- not being a lifeguard myself, I was very much in a supporting role, getting other kids out of there, etc.) did everything exactly right . . . and the child died anyway. No one ever thinks anything bad will happen in their situation, but things do happen.

 

[Pembo]

For those who asked, we do not have a co-leader, she's it. I am a registered parent and I always stay at meetings. One other mom usually does too.

As for the safety-wise thing...I hadn't thought about that. I guess we were just thinking of a fun event for the girls and we could just call it a party not a troop party.

DH thinks I probably should have talked to her by phone. Emails can be misconstrued. However 3 other moms and I had a talk WITH her in early May about getting all the girls together for something this summer.

I'm going to see if I can find her at pick-up time after school tomorrow. She usually picks up her dd too.

Any more comments??? I really do appreciate hearing another pov on this...positive or negative.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I think when a leader is used to doing things without any offers of help, when the offer comes years down the road she probably thinks you are unhappy. I know I've been running my troop without any help for the past 5 years. This year, due to work demands I finally raised my hand and screamed for help. I had several mothers step up to the plate, gladly. One mother shocked me as she was the last person I ever expected to help. she has become such an asset to the troop that she can do no wrong in my eyes now. Other mothers have shown their true colors.

So while your intentions are good, please speak to the leader and not do it by email. Also, follow the rules when it comes to swimming. Your leader can help with this. We do a service unit wide pool party (my SU event) but run it at the community pool which is insured and has certified life guards on duty. We file the form and everything is good.

 

[tommya60]

I've been a GS Leader/Advisor/SU Team Member/Council Volunteer for too many years to count. Just call her up and talk to her. Thank her for all she does, let her know that you think she's wonderful and you are just trying to help. Ask what you can do to help out---especially with the paperwork, product sales, etc.
Do check with SafetyWise--it's online at GSUSA.com now. You really need a lifeguard if you do a pool party. Check with your council and see if they have any Brownie one day events this summer. Or maybe a troop trip to one of the free movie/free bowling/whatever. Have fun....my DD is an Ambassador, I'm thinking of doing a Daisy troop next year, they are soooo fun. We usually have trouble finding Daisy Leaders.

 

[aprilgail2]

We do a pool party every summer but don't call it a troop party or girl scout anything. We just invite kids over for a pool party with no mention of scouts. Just a friendly get together so no problems with girl scout law.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Another one who would definitely NOT be offended!!!

I have a Cub Scout den - not because I was actually looking to be the leader, but because I happened to be the only mom a particular event, and was elected by default. I love, love, love help from the parents! Some of the dads have taught skills from thier own lives/jobs at our meetings, and several of the moms take turns hosting (so we always have a parent besides me for our safety requirements - sound similar to yours).

If she's still worried, just tell her she does a fabulous job - so much in fact that you feel guilty not offering to do something too!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

When I was 18 and a camp counselor at a scout camp, one of my scouts drowned. It was more than half my lifetime ago, but it's one of those days that's etched in my memory forever. Every person involved (and I'm not claiming that I did anything myself -- not being a lifeguard myself, I was very much in a supporting role, getting other kids out of there, etc.) did everything exactly right . . . and the child died anyway. No one ever thinks anything bad will happen in their situation, but things do happen.

When we did "pool parties" at someone's house it was just a get together and not a troop event.

 

[MrsPete]

When we did "pool parties" at someone's house it was just a get together and not a troop event.

I'm telling you though . . . we've specifically been warned against this very thing at Service Unit meetings. If the troop IS the guest list, and if the invitation goes out at a troop meeting, it's really a troop event in everyone's eyes . . . even if you're calling it something else. Be careful. This could bring you big-time trouble.

 

[mjkacmom]

We all just got an apology email from our Daisy troop leader. She works full time, and had some property damage she had to deal with this year. She is returning the money we gave her for vests, because she never ordered them, and will use the dues money for pins. I think we had 7 - 8 meetings this year, and a trip to the firehouse. None of us minded - heck, we're not doing it. She did ask for more parent helpers (the 2 who signed up had their girls quit). I'd talk to her in person.

 

[Tink888]

DD's brownie leader is a super sweet, super nice person. She is the sole leader for dd's troop plus her older daughters gs troop. Her girls play soccer & softball and her dh is the coach. They are both on swim team and the older one sings with a local group. She is a ft teacher...in short, she's very busy and often says how overwhelmed she is.

This is our 3rd year in scouts. To help her out, I offered the use of my dh's church for regular meetings. I offered to plan a Halloween party and a field trip this spring.

I do not want to take over!!! I just want to help her where I can. Typically the girls do nothing over the summer. Another mom & I were talking and thought it would be nice to plan a pool party for the girls.

So I emailed the leader for the email addresses of the all the parents and told her that the other mom and I want to help her where we can. NOW the leader talked to the other mom at a softball game and she is worried that we think she is not doing a good job.

She is doing a WONDERFUL job. We just want to help her out and we thought a summer pool party would be fun.

SOOO my question to my Dis-friends....if you were the leader would you be offended by our offer of help? Should we have handled this differently? What can we do now ????

Opinions please....

Talk to her in person and tell her what you told all of us.

I agree with the others who suggested just making the pool party a summer get together. I was a former Cub Scout Leader. There are a lot of guidelines that must be followed for those type of events. Much easier just to leave the troop out of it IMHO.