Bringing uninvited guest to a party. Am I wrong?

[DisneyBeagle]

My bestfriend had a bday party for her daughter yesterday and she asked me to help out. She invited 12 girls and 11 were able to attend. My friend made 12 gift bags (just in case the 1 other girl showed up) and had 12 cupcakes beautifully decorated. She alway purchased 12 water toys for use in the pool and then the girls could take them home after the party.

Fast forward to the party-- the 11 girls did show up, but 2 of the girls brought their siblings with them and one girl brought her neighbor. So instead of the 11 (12 max) girls that my friend was planning on, she had 15 people in attendance. One of the moms said "Suzy's little sister wanted to come to the party and we didn't want to hurt her feelings." Mind you this little sister is 9 and I think should be able to understand the concept that we aren't always invited to everything that our older siblings are.

My friend was very gracious and made due, but she didn't have extras for the uninvited guests. I thought this was absolutely horrible for people to bring univited children to a party.

Is this the norm....do people always bring uninivited guests?

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

I would never bring someone not invited, unless I cleared it ahead of time. Even then, it would be a rare time that I would even ask to do that (it would have to involve close friends or family).

 

[mickeyboat]

That is so wrong!

My daughters sometimes don't both get invited to the same parties, and I would never just bring the other one along uninvited.

Denae

 

[Heidict]

In todays society, it is becoming the norm. It's sad, but some people don't have any manners or commen sense.

For my wedding we sent invitations to a few people in the same family. The father and mother and then seperate invitations to 2 of the adult children. They also have 4 other kids, but since my DH didn't really know them, he didn't invite them. After all, the kids were teenagers and adults.

So, one of the kids couldn't come so the mother gave the invitation to another one of her kids and had one of her kids as "the guest" part of the invitation. We weren't overly joyed when we found out, but we dealt with it.

Then the day of the wedding the mother and father bring some stranger who happened to be visiting them from out of town to our wedding. My DH and I have never met this man before our lives. Then when the wedding was over they invited him to our reception. It was a sit down dinner, not buffet.

No place for him to sit so they grabbed a chair from another room and squeezed it into their table. Thankfully there were a few people that didn't come to the wedding so the man was able to eat. I wanted to kill her. I just can't believe that anybody can be that stupid!!!!

 

[barkley]

read the thread on rsvp'ing and you'll see this is why my kids stopped having parties (bad enuf when it's 'just' goodie bags and cupcakes at home-realy adds up when it's at a party venue and you're being charge $15 or $20 per kid and they charge in increments of 6 (so if 2 extra kids show up it's not $40 dollars more-it's $120 because they require you to pay for another full table ).

 

[Breezy_Carol]

My friend was very gracious and made due, but she didn't have extras for the uninvited guests. I thought this was absolutely horrible for people to bring univited children to a party.

Is this the norm....do people always bring uninivited guests?

Luckily I've never had this happen. It is incredibly rude for people to bring univited guests.

 

[horseshowmom]

In todays society, it is becoming the norm. It's sad, but some people don't have any manners or commen sense.

I agree completely.

 

[Skywalker]

Happened to me too. A mother came and stayed (which is okay but usually if I want to stay I will phone the host ahead of time and let them know I am planning to) and she also brought her daughter with her to stay.

But what really ticked me off was the daughter went rifling through the loot bags and then CRIED because she didn't get one. The mother just stared at me as though it was my fault instead of reminding the daughter that she was NOT INVITED. LOL.

I was going to remove a few items from the other kids bags and make a make-shift loot bag for her but my husband just looked at me and said, "Don't even think about it." LOL.

 

[trappednabox]

that is why when I make my sister her birthday parties I ALWAYS make extra! If I invite 20 kids I make enough of everything for 30, most of her friends have sibs and I know they will bring them invited or not. If I have extra candy bags or toys I give them to my adult cousins who still act like kids But just like with anything else I'd rather be over prepared then not have enough for whoever showed up.

 

[mickeyfan2]

This is wrong and if I was the hostess of the party I would have told the parents, sorry but little what's her name is not invited and cannot stay for the party.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

My friend was very gracious and made due, but she didn't have extras for the uninvited guests. I thought this was absolutely horrible for people to bring univited children to a party.

Is this the norm....do people always bring uninivited guests?

No that's not the norm! I read a lot about this type of behavior on the boards, but thankfully we've never seen it. I'm not sure why anyone thinks it's ok.

Oh wait! I had to edit because I forgot this *did* happen to us once, LOL. DD was having her party at the local gymnastics place. One mom brought her daughter and the younger brother tagged along (mom did stay). She had been to parties here before and knew that they didn't charge per kid, but a flat fee of up to 20 kids since you pretty much are renting out the gym. She approached me in the beginning and said, "Do you have to pay per kid or can (younger brother's name) go in there?" I thought she was rude to approach me. I'm the type that probably would have offered anyway, once I realized she was staying for the whole party, but it was an 8 y.o. girl's party and he was only around 4. I just found it strange. When my kids were younger and had parties at the pool or at home, I usually extended the invite to the whole family.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

That is so RUDE!!!!
My 3 year old was invited to a birthday party for THIS weekend and I'm not even bringing her 22 month old sister. If I can explain to my almost 2 year old that she isn't invited, certainly older children would understand that concept. I would be super angry.

 

[horseshowmom]

read the thread on rsvp'ing and you'll see this is why my kids stopped having parties (bad enuf when it's 'just' goodie bags and cupcakes at home-realy adds up when it's at a party venue and you're being charge $15 or $20 per kid and they charge in increments of 6 (so if 2 extra kids show up it's not $40 dollars more-it's $120 because they require you to pay for another full table ).

My cousin's daughter was married several years ago, and the reception ran $40-$50 a plate. One of our other cousins didn't bother to RSVP (as requested) but was planning on attending. Finally, my aunt called the other aunt (parent of the ones who didn't RSVP) to see if they were coming (of course they were).

At that point, the other cousin called and said that the family (of 4) was definitely coming and would it be okay if the son's girlfriend came too? They had never even met this girl. They had no choice but to say yes, and then the son and the girlfriend didn't even show up.

These are educated people with advanced degrees who will have a FIT if the same thing happens when their daughter gets married.

 

[Skywalker]

This is wrong and if I was the hostess of the party I would have told the parents, sorry but little what's her name is not invited and cannot stay for the party.

Mickeyfan2, I wish I had your guts.

 

[kelleigh1]

The Mom who said the 9-year old really wanted to go, probably just figured this was a good chance to get some free babysitting so she could go off and do her own thing.

 

[lillygator]

I think it is pretty rude to assume you can bring along uninvited guests....my DD gets tons of bday invites which we most often have to decline as DH works Saturday's and to try and scour up a babysitter for my other DD is pretty hard.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Mickeyfan2, I wish I had your guts.

And my DH wishes that I did not have some of my guts.

 

[Hannathy]

So far around here no one does that but it is incredibly rude and just plain wrong. I don't even go for parents staying-and none have but if they did I wouldn't be entertaining them or feeding them, nor would I uninvited siblings-nope, ain't gonna happen. I hope your friend just said sorry, but it doesn't sound like she did.

I hate it when at soccer and baseball people send all there siblings over expecting a treat at the end of the game! Excuse me it is for the players.

 

[NMAmy]

Luckily, I never had it happen when dd was young. It is rude. And, no, you're not wrong.

 

[kelleigh1]

At that point, the other cousin called and said that the family (of 4) was definitely coming and would it be okay if the son's girlfriend came too? They had never even met this girl. They had no choice but to say yes, and then the son and the girlfriend didn't even show up.

They really did have a choice. I know that people don't want to make waves so they give in on things like this (I'm guilty of it myself.), but I think that it may be time for people to start calling others on their rude behavior. Because by giving in, they're just enabling them to continue their rude behavior.