Bring Babysitter or not?

[Renae De Liz]

Hello everyone!

I would love your opinion as I'm totally on the fence!

We're planning a trip in one to Disneyland. I have 2 sons, one is 9 and the other is 2.5.

This trip is my toddler's first, and I'm wondering if we should bring along our usual babysitter or not. I want to spend time with my toddler at DL of course, however I'd love if my husband and I could both lavish tons of attention on our 9 year old (at the same time) every now and then too, as our 2yo is pretty high needs and consumes a lot of our time usually, so my oldest could use it. Also I know to my 9 year old it's important to him to enjoy the rides as a family, however on his favorite rides (Big Thunder, Space Mountain, etc) that will be impossible, as only one can ride at a time.

So the idea of bringing along our babysitter came up. She's almost 20 and has been watching our kids for the last year. She's wonderful, very bubbly and cheerful, respectful and competent. She wouldn't be watching our 2 year old full time or anything, just occasionally here and there. The rest of the time she can do whatever she wants.

I fully feel she would do a great job and would be a great addition to the trip in that she's always just HAPPY and the kids love her, also she's never been anywhere away from the east coast, and I know she'd love the chance to go to DL. HOWEVER my only drawback is that to me, vacations like this (that are far and few between) are sacred to me and the thought of having that extra person on it is weird. She wouldn't be with us all the time while at the park, but obviously at the hotel she would, and that is mega family only time to me.

So advice here? What would you do? We're okay dealing with the 2 year old issues, all it's ups and downs, but I know my 9 year old wants and needs time alone with us... what to do?

 

[Rainasunshine]

This is my personal opinion but what if you let her bring a friend with, as long as the friend knew they would be paying their own way and had to be respectful and all? This way it could be more justifiable to put them in their own hotel room so you can still have your family time and personal time. Also, when you are wanting family time in the park or your babysitter wants to roam without intruding she won't be lonely or feel "left-out" because she will have someone of her own.

As long as the friend and your babysitter know that when you need her to watch your two year old that he will be the priority. I am sure your son will love the extra attention from two people all to himself and I doubt that your babysitter or her friend will be too upset with spending time in Disney with an adorable toddler to themselves

I dunno that would be my suggestion to achieve a win-win situation.

 

[pixiemomof3]

If it were me I would not bring a babysitter. I would use all the time to spend together as a family.
I have two boys that are 9 years apart and a girl inbetween so the ages are different and they all like different things but they all have to be patient while we do something the other child likes and try to spread the attention between both children by taking turns doing what they want.
Example for me is my daughter wanting to see the princesses last time we went, the boys had to pretty much "Wait" around , my youngest was only about 18 months the last time we went but still, my son was around 101/2. Or when my older son wanted to go on a ride that his sister could not then she had to wait, we used the parent swap alot too for rides.
One thing I regret when we went, since my son was so young he was in the stroller most the time, we did not want to keep taking him in and out but alot of the pictures did not have him in them with the characters or anything because we focused on the older two the first time a little more. I think he would have loved it more too if he could have done/seen more. Looking back at the photos I wish we captured more of him at that smaller age having a good time too. Wouldn't your son want to be with you instead of the babysitter?
I could see maybe if you wanted a babysitter for both kids to enjoy adult time or something but would you also plan on dividing the time between the boys like leaving the other with the babysitter the next day or something so one does not feel left out? It's a tricky situation. I'm sure you will
figure out which works best for you.

 

[Eeee-va]

I'm not sure how you'd manage in the same hotel room--I'd think it would be a bit awkward for your family and also the babysitter to share a room, even a large one. Then having 2 rooms starts to get awfully expensive.

If money's really not an issue, I like Rainasunshine's idea (though I kind of think a traditional family vacation may be the best plan). Another option is IF you would be comfortable leaving your toddler with another sitter (and could figure out how to leave the toddler with a sitter while taking your 9-year-old out of the room with you without anyone getting upset), you can hire a sitter while at the hotel. They're not approved or sponsored by Disney, but there are several services.

Otherwise, I'd say just lavish your 9-year-old with attention at home. You already have a sitter; can you take him out on an outing while the sitter takes care of the toddler? Disneyland should be special enough even without your older child getting singled out (and there ARE things you can do with him to give him special attention, such as the Jedi Training Academy if he likes that sort of thing--just bring a little sign, so he'll get picked ). And there are a TON of rides you can all ride together as a family anyway. I think it will go fine with just the 4 of you.

Have a great trip!

 

[Renae De Liz]

Thanks guys! I really appreciate it!

If we decide to do this I like the idea of her friend going with her in their own place, that is a wonderful idea!

And as for why we want one in the first place, we of course want time alone, but you REALLY need to know our 2 year old to understand. Ever since birth he was always quite touchy, moody and picky, and now that he's 2...well Let's just say my little man requires full time attention to keep him from rampaging & destroying the world (my first was so calm! I didn't know what was coming!)

So every outing we ever have as a family now is based around one or both of us trying to take care of the baby, so it'd be nice to spend some time with my oldest that's just mom, dad and him for a bit, going on all the biggest rides together, going to his favorite restaurant with both of us, being able to pay attention to only him. No baby chasing, no tantrum cooling, just us. He was 7 years an only child, and while he's taken to being a brother very well and loves him, I know he'd appreciate some disney/parent time.

I also thought about taking advantage of the in hotel child-care, but again my toddler is VERY uncomfortable with anyone. He's finally (after a year) getting used to the babysitter.

Keep the advice coming! It's great to hear, and good to know I'm not the only one wary of having another person along!

 

[YellowMickeyPonchos]

If you do the second room, remember to ask for connecting ones and the hotel will most probably be able to accommodate. This will give you family privacy, give easy access to your son when he's in the sitter's room, and allow the sitter to have more space to let him roam, when they are up in the room.

I've heard of a lot of folks bringing sitters (who they consider to be part of their family) for WDW trips and frankly it does make a bit of sense - even for DL, since the kids' club is for ages 5 and up at the GCH. This can also give you a bit of time to have a "date" with your hubby when the kids are tired. Can you say "Napa Rose"?

 

[Lisa Mize Hill]

Why don't you try renting one of the two-bedroom villas at the Grand Californian? That way you'd have plenty of space and separate bedrooms. I rented DVC points for our upcoming DLR trip in June and that is less expensive than reserving this type of room through Disney.

Just a thought -

Lisa

 

[YellowMickeyPonchos]

I would definitely second Lisa's idea. That gives you a ton of space, living room, full kitchen and all of that.

We have been DVC members for almost 20 years and we LOVE doing the 2 bedroom villas!

 

[Isatricia]

I wouldn't take a babysitter. I think family vacations should be just that. If I had a child that was going to be too much work for me to handle and that I would have to ignore my other child, I would not go to a place like Disneyland. All children have varying needs, but it is important for all children in a family to understand that they are a family and there is give and take within the family.

As for your older child wanting to go on rides as a family that is still possible with the younger child. On the rides that allow more than 2 across a seat the younger child will be able to go. Personally, I think going on rides as a "family" means including the younger child.

 

[maggieb9975]

I think only you know best what would make a good vacation for your family. I do agree with PP's that a second bedroom is necessary and having your babysitter bring a friend is a great idea.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[ykmom]

I don't know where you are staying, but we brought a friend with us in March and stayed in a parlor A suite and desert inn & suites. It was perfect and inexpensive. She had the pull out couch in the very small sitting room and we had a regular hotel room with 2 beds so if you were to take just the babysitter it would work, probably not with the friend too but they do have larger suites. As the parent of one child who can be very needy, I would say do whatever is going to make your trip less stressful which will in turn create wonderful memories. It sounds like to you want lots of time as a complete family as well as time with your older child. Do what works for your family.

 

[Susie63]

As a former live in nanny,if you decide to take her with you,she will need her own room. I lived with a family for six years,and when we went away,I always had my own room.These people are my family,they are my DD's Godparents and their DD is like my own child.However,there is no way I would ever share a hotel room with them.

 

[kailuagirl]

I agree, she would need her own room. Personally, I wouldn't take her. This is your family vacation and will be special for your family. I'd say take little one on one breaks with your older child, or when he is on say Screaming, take the little one on King Triton, or stuff like that. But it really is up to you and what kind of relationship you have with her, and you have to calculate the additional expense of another hotel room, airfaire, food, DL ticket, etc. Just follow your heart and you'll make the right decision

 

[lalasmama]

I'd bring the babysitter. Here's my reasonings/thoughts:

At 9yo, your older DS is probably missing when it was just him, no matter how much he likes being a big brother.

At 9yo, dealing with a high-needs sibling gets OLD. (Heck, I admit that when I was 19, dealing with high-needs younger siblings was STILL hard!)

A high-needs 2.5yo will likely need breaks more often than the 9yo, and maybe even an earlier bedtime.

A high-needs 2.5yo will likely get REALLY over-stimulated at Disneyland, resulting in extra tantrums/crying/fussing.

While I realize the trip isn't all about the 9yo's wants and desires, I could easily see a 2.5yo sibling getting in the way of some of the enjoyment, simply because he's 2.5yo, if you know what I mean. A 2.5yo means the 9yo can't go on many rides with mom and dad. A 2.5yo means a 9yo may not get to go on certain rides at all if mom can't handle the ride and dad has the 2.5yo.

I think a lot of 9yo's "slights" (ie, the feelings of frustration at having a high-needs sibling, which isn't always as easy as people would like to think) could be healed/worked on by some parent 1-on-1 or 1-on-2 time.

I took DD (a high-needs 8yo) with me to DLR in Feb/March. Believe me, after day 4, I was wishing I had a babysitter or nanny available for a break! I'd spent 4 days of straight mom-and-kid time, no breaks (not even at bedtime, since we were sharing a 2-queen room, and she can't sleep if I'm up and around!), no outside "entertainment" (ie, no room for her to go play in, nothing she could/would do on her own), always holding hands/touching, because it's DLR, and if we didn't hold hands, she would wander off... Case in point: Next year, I'm bringing my ex-MIL so I can breathe a little bit while I'm there! And, as an older and younger sibling to high-needs sibs, time alone with mom was priceless, when I knew that for once, my brothers' or sister's issues weren't higher than me on the priority list!

So, I'd bring the babysitter, assuming she's an older teen to young adult age (say 16-20s). I'd pay for a second room for her, so that she can have her own time/space too, and like a PP said, it will give her more room to run around when she's on duty. I'd try to have designated times/schedule that you ask her to keep-- say, if it's a 5 day trip, she watches little one for nap time and 2-3 nights while you have older DS at the parks, and maybe one night while you and DH go and enjoy the parks as a couple instead of as parents We won't tell if we see any smooching! ... Give her some time, maybe offer her some extra spending money, or a special gift for joining your family on the trip... Some of my fondest memories of teenager/young adulthood are the trips I took with families so that I could watch the kids! And we always came back as a tighter group--instead of it being "mom and dad and kids, oh yeah, and the babysitter" it was "mom and dad and the kids and the babysitter, one happy family" and I was MUCH more willing to work with families after such a trip--missing out on things I wanted to do so that I could help them with their kids when they needed, willing to work longer hours for less pay, etc.

 

[taaren]

My DS5 is very high energy, and DH and I like to have some adult time in the parks, and we love to go on the thrill rides that DS is only now starting to be okay with. Thus, DS loves it when we bring along the "babysitters", which in our case are Grandma & Grandpa. That way we can spend part of the day together, and part of the day he has time that is catering solely to his wants and desires. Not that we don't enjoy the rides for the smaller children, but he's happy just hanging out in Bugsland all day, which we're not so having a babysitter that is is a great idea.

If renting points from a DVC is out of your price range there's also the Residence Inn suites that are pretty reasonable. A 2 bedroom is a great way to vacation.

If you can afford it easily, take the babysitter. Just kind of have an idea in advance of stuff that you want to do with and without your DS2 (and if you want to have a nice meal with your DH, that becomes a possibility too), so you can kind of map out your time for the babysitter and when she'll be able to do her own thing and when she'll be "on duty", and vice versa for you.

 

[mabdallah]

My huband and I decided a long time ago we were going to bring his younger sister(23) with us (who never has been to Disneyland) to help us with our almost 3 year old DD. We thought it would bring family together but give us the flexabilty of not having our daughter with us at all times. She is so exited to go with us and is more than willing to help us if we want to go out and about on our own once or twice. Because after all I know 2 - 3 year olds can be a little demanding at times and push your buttoms and we want to be on vacation and just have fun no stresses!!
However after the fact my parents now joined our little vacation and will be going with us to DL 3 out of the 4 days we will be there. (staying elsewhere of course, they did not want to be too intrusive.) My attitude is more that merrier extra help for all of us on the trip. Not that my daughter is disobdient or has problems but the fact that she is afterall 2.5!

 

[Susie63]

If you decide to take her with you,discuss before hand what your expectations are for her duties. Will she have free time every day etc.The last thing you want is conflict.I always had days off,where I only ate with the family and the rest of the time was mine to spend as I liked.Do you want her to take your child into the park or hang at the hotel.
I think you will enjoy the time you get to spend with yor son or just you and your DH. I always enjoyed going on holidays with my family.
One last thing.I assume you will be paying for all of her expenses.Will she expect a wage as well.(probably not)I did not get paid extra because it was part of my monthly salary.Just things to consider

 

[jennabennabofenna]

I say don't bring her. Thats great that shes a happy person and loves your kids, but to me, thats family time.

 

[Renae De Liz]

Thanks again so much everyone!! It's such a tough decision! On the one hand I know it'll make a huge difference to my oldest to have purely mom & dad time here and there, and HE wouldn't care if the babysitter was along, but on the other I like many of you feel like it's family only time.

Thanks to the lalasmama for the wonderful post about my oldest! You get exactly what I'm thinking about with him

We did go to DL with him when he was 6 (RIGHT before I got pregnant with my youngest) and we were literally running all over the place, riding the craziest rides over and over again, and he had a blast. I know that's what he'll be wanting to do this time too. Going at a toddlers pace, sure he'll be fine and happy bro is there, but I know he'd get the most out of this visit (which is again, probably his last real "childhood" disney visit, we may not afford again for a few years at least) if he can go at "his" pace sometimes, and again having BOTH mom and dad occasionally unhindered by toddler watching will mean a lot to him.

We cannot afford a second hotel room for sure, we're already splurging as it is, we can scrape together to bring the babysitter if we want, but not another room.... Hmmmm

I WISH I had family or helpful grandparents around!!

Thanks again for the suggestions!

 

[Renae De Liz]

Just saw the thing about Fullerton Childcare Agency on Mousesavers, does anyone have any input on them? Prices?

I read they are good, and offer in room sitting services. That would be GREAT for our needs, because we'd only need someone a few times, for maybe 5 hours each. I could coincide it with our toddlers naps and go nuts with out oldest for those hours. Considering what I had budgeted for flying out the sitter, and her tickets, etc, I'd be saving money too.

The only thing is my toddler, as I said, is pretty wary of strangers and I worry he'd be overly frightened of being left in a strange place with a stranger... BUT if the babysitter was REALLY GOOD and friendly then I think he'd be okay.

Any thoughts on Fullterton Childcare?