Breastfeeding - Dealing with criticism (not intending debate)

[TheOtherVillainess]

If anybody decided to hassle me about my choice in feeding my kid, I'd squirt milk in their eye!

Seriously though..it's your choice. I know you're a new mom, but you're going to have to grow a thicker skin because if you let this really upset you now, it's only going to be worse down the road. Especially when people start weighing in on how you discipline your child, etc.

TOV

 

[lil mermaid]

I was pretty lucky, everyone in my family was very supportive of my breastfeeding DD (well, except for the one cousin who thought it was "gross and nasty - breasts and babies don't belong together!"

Anyway, I think it is GREAT that you are breastfeeding and intend to keep it up for at least a year - good job!

Anyhow, you could always just tell them that you are too cheap to buy formula...

 

[FreshTressa]

I'd say, "Well, it seems to be working well for us at the moment. We'll see what the future brings."

It is true too....you never know what your kids will like/not like or whatever. Parenting is a hard thing to plan. Usually, you wind up just doing whatever works for you at the moment.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

breasts and babies don't belong together!

They don't?!?!? Well, no..of course they don't. Breasts are for playing with and bouncing around merrily and for stuffing silicone implants into! Didn't you know that? SHAME on you.

TOV

 

[katerkat]

The only people who really made comments were my ILs - my SFIL made cracks about getting teeth, my MIL really just wanted to be able to keep Russ forever and ever and didn't like that he had to be back to me every couple of hours. Now that it's been a year, no one really comments, but he's only nursing in the morning now so I guess everyone sees the light at the end of the tunnel. He never had any formula.

I think I would just point out what the doctor says. Whenever people harrass me, I say the ped recommended I do this or that. And if your preemie is thriving - then what does it matter? I tend to have a defensive "bite me" attitude when someone criticizes my parenting, though. They're not raising him, so I don't see how it's any of their business!

 

[Angiepea]

HI

Well done, it can take some doing getting it work. My ds is 16 and dd is 13, I breastfed both my children. Love it, dont know how people bottle feed, especailly in the middle of the night. I fed my ds for 6 months and my dd for 8 months, I didnt really get any problems from anyone, or if I did i just ignored them, I dont know if they have this saying in the USA but for us in the UK...'breast is best'. And in the end isnt this what breast are there for.

Enjoy it and smile sweetly at any negative comments....know that you are doing the right thing for you and your baby. Beleive me our children are only lent to us I would give anything for a day back with my kids as babys.

angie

 

[chris1gill]

Hmmm, this was me after I had our two children... My side of the family had never heard of breastfeeding apparently, either that or they didn't think it was real Anyhow, I fielded a couple of questions, and simply responded Until such time as I wanted to quit.... you don't need to explain yourself... you're doing what's in the best interest of your baby & that's all that counts, congratulations to you!

 

[disneymom3]

I go with Mystery Machine on this one. Nonanswers sound like the way to go.

It's hard and I got the same thing. DD was colicky and my mom was certain it was because she was hungry. Ahhh, no it wasn't. Breastfeeding didn't go well with her at all and I am sure a lot had to do with the fact that I was a nervous first time mom and wasnt' getting support in the bf ing at all. I wish I had been as close to MIL then as I am now because she bf all her kids and would have been able to lend me support.

 

[slo]

I got a lot of criticism for not breastfeeding baby #2. At first I was very annoyed and then I thought to myself, "I was a bottle baby and I'm not a freak of nature because of it." I felt better and decided to tune these people out because it was mine and my husbands decision.

When people ask you about how long you are going to breastfeed I would be honest and who cares what they think. They shouldn't be asking anyway - it's none of their business.

I never ask anyone if they are going to nurse or not. I do tell my friends that are having babies that if they would like to put me down on a mailer for formula coupons they can. From there they either say thank you, or I'm going to nurse and then the conversation ends there unless they want to talk more about it.

You are doing a wonderful thing for your baby with nursing as long as you want. When I nursed my first baby for 3 months, it just didn't work well for me. This is why I didn't nurse my second. Again...this is a personal decision and I think you are doing great!!!

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

do your own thing and ignore everyone else. My babies are bottle fed and gorgeous. DD was adopted so no choice there and DS eats like a machine! everyone has a personal choice and that's that...

everyone thinks they are they expert about everyone elses children. do what you feel is right

 

[cats7494]

Thank you all for your words of support; I really do appreciate it!
I know I need to grow thicker skin...that is for sure. I just can"t imagine telling another parent how to raise their child!
Like I said previously...dd is doing great...so I will just stay the course!

 

[DaisyD]

I think a lot of it is just plain ignorance. My 23 y/o DD came home from work yesterday and started talking about her coworker bringing in her new 2 month old baby girl. The coworker mentioned to DD that she was going to keep BFing until 12 months old but introduce some solids at 6 months. DD didn't say anything to her but came home and acted amazed that anyone would BF that long. She thought you only did that for maybe 3 months! She had no idea. I had tried to BF my youngest DD but could only do it for a little bit because I honestly couldn't get the hang of it. Between my extended hopitalization and the meds I was on it was just too rought a start for me. So I do think anyone that comments is rude I would take the opportunity to educate them right then and there.

 

[chobie]

Isn't just great to know that whatever choice we make as mothers, someone will be there to critize it?

 

[cats7494]

Isn't just great to know that whatever choice we make as mothers, someone will be there to critize it?

I know..it is sad! We all should allow parents to parent their own children the best way they know!
We all know how to be a better parent than everyone else. right? haha

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I didn't really get any flack--but perhaps a response would be--I didn't butt in while you reared your child, please butt out of how I rear mine.

I nursed DD1 until 18 months and DD2 until 3 years

 

[ozarkmom]

I breast fed my children and I had no family support. My mom and mil had not breast fed. My mom was the worst because I see her more. With the first baby do you think he's getting enough? Don't you think you ought to give him a bottle? My parents would make these little comments and kind of shake their head (you'd just have to be their child to understand how annoying some of their gestures can be). By the time I had baby #3 they pretty much kept their opinions to themselves. Good Luck and do what you know is right!

 

[GEM]

Well, I can honestly say I've never had any really negative responses - despite exclusive breastfeeding, delaying solids till 9 months, doing LOTS of very public nursing, and even extended nursing (my almost 3 year old is still nursing once a day or so). I guess I've been lucky to have lots of support from familly and friends.

My mom didn't nurse any of us and had no clue about breastfeeding a baby, BUT, that actually worked in my favor. When I told her that a baby needed to nurse till AT LEAST 12 months and that it was great to keep going much longer, or when I told her that breastfed babies didn't need to start solids at 3 months old, she believed me without question because she had no information to the contrary.

I'm sorry to hear you're getting annoying comments. Honestly, the one or two very few times anyone said anything to me, I just tried to keep the situation light by replying with something witty.

For example, my standar reply to "Are you STILL nursing?" Is, "Why, of course not. Don't be silly. My mother lives much too far away."

Seriously, just tune them out and do what you know is best for you and your litle one.

 

[cats7494]

I am glad so many of you were not bothered about breastfeeding! That really is great!
I like many of the "smart" responsese - not sure if I would have the guts to say them though! haha