Breastfeeding an adopted baby

[lil mermaid]

lilmermaid--a lot of the things BFers do seem rather 'cracked', but it's their choice to do it. I've heard stories of nursing through mastitis (clogged ducts, which sounds like that hurts A LOT!), thrush (a fungal infection),all sorts of horrible sounding situations. I can't imagine why a woman would put herself THROUGh this sort of torture, but if they want to do so, let 'em.

TOV

TOV, I think that you have totally missed my point. It sounds "cracked" to me because it doesn't make any sense. "Toughening up" your nipples is not something that women are advised to do these days. That is why it sounds cracked to me. Why would you purposely hurt yourself?

 

[AnaheimGirl]

TOV, I think that you have totally missed my point. It sounds "cracked" to me because it doesn't make any sense. "Toughening up" your nipples is not something that women are advised to do these days. That is why it sounds cracked to me. Why would you purposely hurt yourself?

I was advised to do this, and it didn't hurt at all.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Why would you purposely hurt yourself?

Beats me. Go ask somebody who's got a lot of tattoos, or a habitual cutter. I'm sure they could tell you. Cuz I sure don't know!

TOV

 

[chobie]

We all know now that breast is best. But I would never feel guilty for not doing so as someone said they did earlier.

I always wonder how much better it actually is. More kids than ever are being breastfed and the rates of asthma and various allergies are on the rise, as are various other conditions. Does this have anything to do with breastfeeding? Of course not but is it really doing all that much good? You'd think that it's some kind of wonder food that will protect children from everything while bottlefed kids are all in danger if you listen to some people. Notice that I said SOME. Most people seem to be pretty rational about it. I'd love to see stats on longterm effects of the two feeding methods.

Sigh... I guess that I'm feeling punchy too. I'm tired of some people inferring that someone can't develop a bond with their child or is some other way inadequate because they didn't BF! Thanks P&W for your comments. Those are some of the best that I've ever seen.

Oh as for the OP, I say that an adoptive Mom should go for it if she feels like she wants to. As I always say, it's all about choice. Now, I'm SO out of these threads.

In all fairness -- this goes both ways. Breastfeeding moms are called Nazis, there is always an implication that we get some kind of sexual kick out it or we're gluttons for punishment, that we're not allowing the fathers to bond etc. There is finger pointing, shaming and name-calling on the bottle feeding side of this debate as well. We get sick of the accusations and inferences as well.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

It's the actions of a few causing a label to be cast upon the whole group, chobie. I know not all moms who BF are BF Nazis, but the Nazis get all the attention. It makes some people think ALL BFers are BF Nazis.

Come to think of it, if the BFNazis had their way, there would be NO formula and every mother would BF no matter what it cost them physically or mentally. I think some of them would rather see a child STARVE to death than drink formula.

TOV

 

[disneyangel]

I tried to breastfeed my DD (now 3) initially as I had read all the literature and believed it to be best thing , health wise to do. Unfortunately it didn't work out and I gave up after a combination of bf and expressing after a fortnight. I had a real guilt trip about not being able to do this at the time (Hormones or should I say horrormones didn't help) so really admire everyone who either tries or decides it's not for them. I would try again with any future babies (including adopted)

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

disneyangel--I was the same way. I read the books, etc and had decided that no matter what I was going to BF DS even if it killed me. But after two weeks (is that a fortnight? I forget..), we had to either quit or supplement. DS just wasn't gaining the weight he was supposed to and the pedi suggested supplementing to help him gain weight.

Just to see what the heck was going on, one day I pumped exclusively and gave DS nothing but what I'd pumped and some formula. Turns out that even with my pumping every couple of hours for at least 30-40 min each side, I wasn't making SQUAT! Now I know there are teas, etc that you can drink to increase production, but by this point I was "Well, to heck with that!" and went formula from there on out.

Granted, we wouldn't have had to have 'special' formula for him if he'd been exclusively BF'd but that doesn't matter to me. I think that even though he was FF, he's turned out ok. We're pretty well bonded, I think. Mostly because we are an extremely affectionate family.

TOV

 

[Planogirl]

In all fairness -- this goes both ways. Breastfeeding moms are called Nazis, there is always an implication that we get some kind of sexual kick out it or we're gluttons for punishment, that we're not allowing the fathers to bond etc. There is finger pointing, shaming and name-calling on the bottle feeding side of this debate as well. We get sick of the accusations and inferences as well.

You're right and they irritate me too.

If people say "this is what I do" and even why, it's interesting. I just get so aggravated when people infer that there's something wrong with those who bottlefeed or that their children are somehow deprived. But you're definitely right that people on the other side can be just as bad.

And of course I didn't really stay away. I'm way too nosy for that.

 

[transparant]

I don't understand why everyone thinks it hurts so bad. It shouldn't hurt beyond the first week or so (and even that is only for the first 30 seconds or so into nursing.

If women are experiencing extreme pain while nursing - than they let the situation get out of control. I tell my clients ALL THE TIME - if it hurts through the whole nursing session - call me ASAP - I can fix the problem right away. In fact...there usually isn't a problem I can't fix directly over the phone.

So for all you nursing or soon to be moms - if you are having pain that lasts longer than 1 minute into the nursing session...please call a Lactation Consultant. Most of us really are NOT BF Nazi's - we only want to help make your experience a good one. The sooner you address the problem the sooner it goes away and everything is much more enjoyable. THis goes for women who think they have no milk as well - if you think that, call for help. 9 times out of 10 its exactly the opposite...they have to much milk (over supply can sometimes mimic the symptoms of low supply). These situations are very easily remedied. There is no reason why you should have to suffer through anything when you don't have too.

Pretty much everything is fixable from thrush, mastitis, plugged ducts, etc. And its usually fixed rather quickly as long as you get the professional help that you need.

It upsets me when I get a phone call from a new mom who has been suffering with thrush for weeks - or when a new mom is given antibiotics for thrush! (can't tell you how many Dr.'s do this!) Antibiotics will only make it WORSE! Call a breastfeeding specialist if you think something isn't right. More than likely she will help you fix it - and she won't be a Nazi ( )about it either.

 

[jfulcer]

Beats me. Go ask somebody who's got a lot of tattoos, or a habitual cutter. I'm sure they could tell you. Cuz I sure don't know!

TOV

It just gets better and better.

Someone pass the popcorn will ya?? (Hey, anyone got a good idea for popcorn salt/seasonings/flavorings? I hate the stuff they sell as spinkles and don't really like true melted butter...)

 

[poohandwendy]

(Hey, anyone got a good idea for popcorn salt/seasonings/flavorings? I hate the stuff they sell as spinkles and don't really like true melted butter...)

Hey, that's a good question Jeff. I haven't ever found a sprinkle flavoring for popcorn that was all that good either. I just usually do the microwave kind anyways. I wish I had some right about now...

 

[justhat]

lilmermaid--a lot of the things BFers do seem rather 'cracked', but it's their choice to do it. I've heard stories of nursing through mastitis (clogged ducts, which sounds like that hurts A LOT!), thrush (a fungal infection),all sorts of horrible sounding situations. I can't imagine why a woman would put herself THROUGh this sort of torture, but if they want to do so, let 'em.

TOV

TOV, I had double mastitis and pumping really relieved the pain for me so nursing through mastitis is really great, not painful. I didn't nurse through it, but pumped instead, but that was personal preference cause my daughter had a voracious suck that was sorta painful when she first latched on (only when I had mastitis though, I honestly didn't have any pain nursing her otherwise). The mastitis pain lasted maybe 2 days, those antibiotics kicked in fast and I was totally fine after that. So I wouldn't really say I put myself through any sort of torture.

But really, what mom doesn't put themselves through some sort of torture for their kids at some point? The first day I took my daughter to preschool was absolute torture for me, but believe it or not I put myself through it again the next day just cause I knew it was in her best interest. Leaving her at the door while she screamed for me was way more painful than nursing ever was.

 

[staci]

But really, what mom doesn't put themselves through some sort of torture for their kids at some point? The first day I took my daughter to preschool was absolute torture for me, but believe it or not I put myself through it again the next day just cause I knew it was in her best interest. Leaving her at the door while she screamed for me was way more painful than nursing ever was.

Oh I hear you! The first time I left ds at daycare when I went back to school I dropped him off and he was screaming. 3 hours later I return to him still screaming. I rocked and rocked him there (I had to go back after lunch) and I was BAWLING the whole time. Im sure they thought I was nuts, but placing him in the crib when I left (he was sleeping) was the most painful thing I have had to do thus far - birth and bf included.

 

[momof2inPA]

disneyangel--I was the same way. I read the books, etc and had decided that no matter what I was going to BF DS even if it killed me. But after two weeks (is that a fortnight? I forget..), we had to either quit or supplement. DS just wasn't gaining the weight he was supposed to and the pedi suggested supplementing to help him gain weight.

I know you were babywising. Did you try to put the poor kid on a breastfeeding schedule instead of feeding on demand? That would have screwed up your ability to produce enough milk and affected your son's weight gain. I don't think you would admit it if that were the case.

I wouldn't say that breast-feeding is for everyone, but I would advise that everyone avoid the babywise method, as that has been connected to failure to thrive.

 

[Minnesota!]

Personally, I wouldn't attempt BF an adopted child. I didn't enjoy BFing my son, and probably will not attempt it again if I am blessed with any future children - adopted or bio. I didn't get the "thrill" of it and my son HATED it. I worked with LC's for weeks - in the hospital, at my house. Was using that Supplemental System with the syringe looking thing and hose taped to my chest. NOT RELAXING. Especially when my child is screaming in my lap and I can't get the damn thing and my breast in his mouth. I never ended up producing anything - even pumping 45 minutes each side every few hours. Not my idea of fun. And my son has THRIVED on formula. He is 18 months and 30 lbs, 34 inches. He has grown nicely. I agree that there seems to be more allergies, etc. since BF really started getting pushed and I wonder if it has something to do with this (since the kids are being exposed to so much through the mom's milk?)...

 

[chobie]

Personally, I never got a "thrill" out of breast feeding either. My first child latched on like a pro and would not take a supplemental bottle of either my milk or forumula. It never hurt, it was cheap and always available. I have never tried to make any other mother feel guilty for bottle feeding and I really do not get why this is controversial. We should all be happy that we live in a time and place where we can choose and stop being either accusatory or defensive.

I did have problems with my second latching on, but a lactation consultant provided by my HMO fixed the problem immediately. I would have probably quit if I had those problems with my first one. I would not have felt guilty about it, nor would I have felt compelled to be nasty toward those women who did BF.

 

[In a hurry]

What on earth makes people use the word Nazi to describe anyone who isn't. The Nazi's were vicious killers. It cheapens the nature of that horrific group to use the name for something as ridiculous as mothers who disagree with one another.

 

[kdibattista]

I only heard of this recently as we have been researching subjects on adoption. Although I probably would have tried it if we were adopting a newborn, I will not try to BF our daughter because she will be about 7 months old. I think it's a wonderful concept and wish anyone well who wants to do this for their baby... adopted or bio.

 

[justhat]

Staci I teared up reading your post cause I know just how you felt. I really think if you can get through things like that, bf is a walk in the park.

I would disagree about bf having anything to do with allergies cause bf was around long before formula was and to my knowledge there weren't tons of allergies around hundreds of years ago, with a decline when ff was all the rage, and another surge of allergies now that bf is becoming more popular. Not to mention, there are way more moms who ff to a year than moms who bf to a year so I would think that the limited breastmilk exposure would limit the allergy developments. Some allergy increases (like peanut butter) can be more attributed to the fact that its use is much higher now than it was 60 years ago, and kids start eating it younger, etc. Environmental allergies I think have something to do with all the antibacterial products and things like that, not to mention pollution may have something to do with it.

Minnesota, I totally understand where you're coming from about the supplemental nursing system. Like I said, I used it 2 days and thanked God that I didn't have to use it any longer than that cause I don't think I could have handled it. I remember all too well my daughter screaming in my lap too, while the tube would move, not go in her mouth, shoot milk in her face, etc. I would use it again with this next baby if I have to, but again I think 2 days would be my limit. I'd really like to bf again though so if I have problems again I think I'd rather try cupfeeding, which worked well for my cousin and her baby in the beginning and she went on to bf for a year.

 

[malibuconlee]

I've never heard of this either. Learn something new every day!!