Breast feeding in church

[staci]

Now, if it were my first son, I would have never even gone to church for fear that this would happen and be scared that someone would be mad at me. He wouldnt take a bottle and ate very frequently. But now, if I had a baby and it were hungry, I probably would feed them in church.

Unfortunately, I wasn't met with alot of support on my decision to bf my first son, and I was really a nervous mom because of it. We stayed home for much of his first 6 months, and even limited outings for the first year, as I didnt want to 'offend' anyone. I was the first one of our friends to become pregnant and bf. My mother never bf, so she was skeptical of the whole idea.

Many of our friends have now had their first children, and have chosen to bf as well. It is so funny how self consious of it I was, now that I see them do it all the time, and dont even realize what they are doing! All of the guys that were nervous and twitchy and didnt know where to look during a conversation 2 years ago are now fine with being in the same room. I was eating with a friend a few weeks ago, and we went to pay and leave, and I said "dont you need to feed isabel before we leave' and she said 'I just did like 5 minutes ago". We were talking and I didnt even notice! It really isnt noticable at all in most cases, it just looks like cradling a baby. Before I bf ds, I would NEVER see anyone doing it in public, now I see them all the time, just because I did it and now I know what to 'look for'. I have seen many people bf now, and I dont think I have even gotten a really vivid 'shot' of the mom, with the only exception being visiting my very best friends in the hospital with their newborns as they were learning to latch on.

I am so looking forward to having another child and being a mom for the second time around. Now I realize that I dont owe anyone an apology for feeding my child, and I hope to be able to get out and enjoy my baby in public a little more and be able to feed them without stressing out so much.

Really, we are just moms, trying to give our babies what they need. Give us a little support please. For every mom who has the strength to feed their child in a public place, there is another mom at home, missing church, for fear of being judged.

 

[Jenn Lynn]

Really, we are just moms, trying to give our babies what they need. Give us a little support please. For every mom who has the strength to feed their child in a public place, there is another mom at home, missing church, for fear of being judged.

What a great statement.

 

[bride03]

OK, BF is healthy and all of that. We certainly know that now and get it.

However, this has nothing to do with whether it should be done in church or not. Working out is healthy too but I would never do it during a sermon. These are two completely different issues IMO.

I see nothing wrong with BF or bottle feeding a baby in church. I know that churches really don't have a choice in many states now anyway but I've always felt that a private business should set their own rules about most things. I don't see it as discrimination if a church requests that BF or bottle feeding be done in the nursery but I know that the law doesn't agree.

Thank you !!!! We are all getting defensive and not understanding eachother. I am ALL FOR breast-feeding. I am NOT misinformed. I have been studying children and childcare for a while now and I know that breast milk helps to build the child's immune system and the children are better for it. I'm also NOT saying that mothers shouldn't breast-feed in public.

RYAN840---I never said anything about wishing mothers would use formula. Don't put words into my mouth. I think breast-feeding is important.

 

[Planogirl]

Do note that I see nothing wrong with it personally. I feel uncomfortable seeing businesses once again over-regulated by the feds but I do believe that some accomodation should be made. And by that, I don't mean bathrooms or anywhere hidden away!

BF or bottle feeding during a sermon? To be honest, I have mixed feelings about that.

 

[ryan840]

Thank you !!!! We are all getting defensive and not understanding eachother. I am ALL FOR breast-feeding. I am NOT misinformed. I have been studying children and childcare for a while now and I know that breast milk helps to build the child's immune system and the children are better for it. I'm also NOT saying that mothers shouldn't breast-feed in public.

RYAN840---I never said anything about wishing mothers would use formula. Don't put words into my mouth. I think breast-feeding is important.

I didn't put any words in your mouth. I never said you wished mothers would use formula at all. What I commented on was your shock at the fact that mothers breastfed for so long, since that was the only option for most of human history.

 

[Talking Hands]

Our church has added a baby room at the back of the worship center and parents of small infants are encouraged to use this. It has a smaller room attached with close circuit tv for Moms to nurse in private if the wish. The baby room is glassed so the parents can see the service but the noise of a crying baby will not disturb the worship service. Nice rockers there and comfortable chairs in there too.
Since I stand facing the congregation most of the service I can see the parents and children in the room and it never bothers me that someone is nursing. Frankly my focus is not really on them but the job I am doing interpreting the service and on the worship experience. I have had a deaf parent nurse right in front of me during worship and not batted an eye. Better that than having the baby screaming which both parents would not have heard but would have disturbed the rest of the church.

 

[poohandwendy]

As to the OPs question...what is your opinion? It saddens me that a womans breast, used in the most benign, appropriate and natural form, is still something that makes people uncomfortable.

 

[staci]

As to the OPs question...what is your opinion? It saddens me that a womans breast, used in the most benign, appropriate and natural form, is still something that makes people uncomfortable.

very well put.

 

[Planogirl]

As to the OPs question...what is your opinion? It saddens me that a womans breast, used in the most benign, appropriate and natural form, is still something that makes people uncomfortable.

I think that it will always make some people uncomfortable as long as society sexualizes breasts. As someone else pointed out, many people can't just turn that on and off so easily.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think that it will always make some people uncomfortable as long as society sexualizes breasts. As someone else pointed out, many people can't just turn that on and off so easily.

I agree, I just find it really sad that we cannot seem to get past that.

I will always feel the immediate needs of the child trump the comfort of the person who can easy look away if they cannot 'turn that off'.

 

[Planogirl]

I agree, I just find it really sad that we cannot seem to get past that.

I will always feel the immediate needs of the child trump the comfort of the person who can easy look away if they cannot 'turn that off'.

However, one might argue that if BOTH could be accomplished easily why not go that route?

People love to talk about how BF was done throughout most of history. However, was it ever done as openly as nowadays? If not,this may just be a learning curve for society.

 

[poohandwendy]

However, one might argue that if BOTH could be accomplished easily why not go that route?

Which route? Looking away can be accomplished MUCH easier than leaving to find a place to BF, much easier and much more quickly. It takes zero effort and no time at all to just look away.

 

[disykat]

Although I have no problem with discreet breastfeeding, I would have a problem with not trying to cover (I've also seen a blatantly exposed woman in public, but not in church). I have many friends who have breastfeed undetected with no problem in church. It's actually a pretty good time to do it since most people are facing forward. However if those around you can hear it or be distracted by it, I think they should leave as a common curtesy. For me, it's not about the breast - it's about whether you might be distracting others. If you're quiet and covered, no big deal.

My kids were noisy eaters so I didn't breast or bottle feed in church. I took them out. It was the polite thing to do so I wouldn't disturb others.

 

[Planogirl]

Which route? Looking away can be accomplished MUCH easier than leaving to find a place to BF, much easier and much more quickly. It takes zero effort and no time at all.

A person could go even further and say the same about any form of nudity or t-shirts with obscene slogans and so on. I know, not anywhere close to the same thing but the old slippery slope argument.

Remember that I said that I saw nothing wrong with BF in public. I'm just trying to be tolerant of BOTH sides.

 

[Planogirl]

My kids were noisy eaters so I didn't breast or bottle feed in church. I took them out. It was the polite thing to do so I wouldn't disturb others.

My son could be noisy on the bottle too so I always took him out of a quiet place like a church. He never fussed when he wanted to eat though, just made what we called the fishy face.

 

[poohandwendy]

A person could go even further and say the same about any form of nudity or t-shirts with obscene slogans and so on. I know, not anywhere close to the same thing but the old slippery slope argument.

And the slippery slope argument could go the opposite way...should people not wear shirts that expose cleavage because some people are distracted or offended by it?

Remember that I said that I saw nothing wrong with BF in public. I'm just trying to be tolerant of BOTH sides.

I understand that, but when one 'side' has to merely look away to avoid the 'offense' that makes them uncomfortable, it's hard to argue that they are being all that inconvenienced.

 

[poohandwendy]

Just wanted to add, I very rarely BFed in a public place. I found it inconvenient and uncomfortable. Physically, not socially.

 

[cepmom]

I didn't breastfeed for more than 1 week, but I have no problem with a woman BFing her child anyplace, anytime (including church) When we brought our babies to church, I never hesitated to pull out a bottle to feed them if needed.....why should a woman feel ashamed to BF her baby??

The one thing I don't like is when a woman is BFing, her whole breast is exposed. That I do not want to see. Is there any reason why it can be a little more covered up? Last weekend at work (Babies R Us) I saw a customer BFing her baby while sitting on the floor of the toy dept and her whole breast was exposed. I wanted to let her know that there was a Mother's Room that she might be more comfortable in, but I was afraid that somehow that might offend her. So I kept on walking and never said anything to her.

 

[In a hurry]

Isn't it amazing how it is perfectly fine to fo around with your jeans down to your bikini line, and a shirt exposing all that is possible, but feeding a baby makes people uncomfortable? It seems pretty silly to me. If you don't want to see something, simply turn away.

 

[beattyfamily]

I have no problem with moms breastfeeding almost anywhere as long as they are being discreet about it.

I personally wouldn't breastfeed in certain locations myself. Like Church, a fancy restaurant, grocery store...but that's just me.

IMHO, the key word is discreet! Some moms don't care about that. Most do though. I've seen my share of you know whats when I wasn't even trying.