boys in women's bathrooms?

[3jsmommy]

I had a similar situation at the beach when I was about 10. My sister (12 at the time) & I took a walk all the way down the beach & this little old man walked up to us & asked us the time meanwhile "holding" himself

Well I just grabbed my sisters wrist & started walking away, she was trying to tell him we didn't have a watch (pretty obvious when all we had on were bathing suits) all the while he kept walking closer to us.

I still remember his nasty little face...so disgusting!(insert puking smiley here)
We never said anything to my parents..we were too embarrassed, & even though we were o.k. it was scary to think what his motives were, & what if I didn't notice what he was doing..
I take my 3 sons into the bathroom w/ me, the oldest is 6, so I don't know how much longer he'll let me.
What should I do if I am at a rest stop or a mall...leave my six year old outside the restroom by himself while I bring in the other 2 w/ me?
I saw "The Deep End Of the Ocean" on cable a few weeks ago & let me tell you, I am paranoid now. Don't watch that movie if you have kids...it scared the crap out of me!!
Last time a thread about this subject popped up it got a little crazy...some Moms were saying people coddle & baby their boys now.
I don't see the difference in sending in a small boy opposed to a small girl to the men's room alone.
Would those moms think it smart to send their little girls into a room w/ men using urinals w/ out a stall?
They are half naked strangers...the ladies room is a completely different world, much safer IMO.

 

[REW91599]

I have three boys (8,6, and 2) I will bring ALL 3 into the womens room with me even when they complain. If there Dad or another male is with me they will always go with them, but in an amusement park or busy shopping center I do not even give them the option, and I have explained why to them. My first choice is to locate a family room. (BTW my oldest alot of times will wait until a man or family room is available.)

 

[pixiepower1971]

As a grown woman, I have no problem with boys using the ladies room. But, as the mom of preteen GIRLS, I have to remind all you moms to please remind your BOYS that they are going into the LADIES room! Preteen girls are VERY self conscious and they do not expect to see boys in the ladies room. Please remind them to not stare into the stalls or under them. And yes, it has happened- more then once. Its nature. Boys of certain ages will try to "get a peek" of girls there age(or older).


Since I have seen this debate on the boards before, I know most of you with boys won't care about my girls feelings because you think safety trumps feelings. My girls comfort and right to not be stared at in the ladies room is just as important to me. DH has instructed my girls to kick little boys that crawl under or peek under the stalls. My girls deserve the same amount of respect, privacy and concern that you are asking for in bringing your boys into the ladies room.

 

[Merriwind]

Add me to the "as long as they're behaving and not peeking under stalls, I don't mind boys in the ladies room" camp. Especially at WDW, where it's so big and busy, I imagine boys who might be allowed to use some public men's rooms on their own get taken into the ladies' room.

 

[jenjersnap]

Since I have seen this debate on the boards before, I know most of you with boys won't care about my girls feelings because you think safety trumps feelings. My girls comfort and right to not be stared at in the ladies room is just as important to me. DH has instructed my girls to kick little boys that crawl under or peek under the stalls. My girls deserve the same amount of respect, privacy and concern that you are asking for in bringing your boys into the ladies room.

Not true that I don't care about your DDs' feelings! That is why I specified that I didn't understand why ADULT women have issues with it. Young girls are a different story and that is partly why I am trying to make sure I teach my boys to keep to themselves, do their business and get out of the area as quickly and efficiently as possible. Believe me, I wish there were family restrooms everywhere. I just want to keep my kids safe, yes, and I will do what I have to do, but I really don't like to inconvenience or discomfort others while doing it.

 

[kcromley]

please make sure that if you are sending your son into a ladies restroom, you accompany him at all times and monitor his behavior. while you no doubt know that your son is an innocent child, others don't, and I would immediately report to security an unaccompanied male of any age in a ladies restroom-you would be horrified by how many crimes are committed by boys under 14 yrs. of age.

 

[PetersClan]

I have seen girls in the mens room twice this week, actually, and it is more of an issue. I understand it is unavoidable sometimes, but definately more of a problem than boys in the womens room. At least there are walls blocking views in there.

Drew

I am wondering how far back some of these guys stand from the urinal. Exactly what is a little girl going to see except your back? even if a guy violates the "stare silently at the wall" rule and looks right or left, it is somewhat difficult to get a "money shot" Come on people, is this really so disturbing?

 

[nuttylawprofessor]

My adult friend has a problem with boys in the ladies restroom, and I understand why. You see, she's a conservative muslim woman who wears a head cover and robe for modesty. The women's restroom is one of the few places she can go in public to adjust her hair, scarf, and clothes without being seen by men. But when older boys start coming into the restroom, she is placed in a very awkward situation.

I agree with the previous posters who want more family/unisex bathrooms. This is the best solution for everyone.

 

[Grendalynn]

My oldest son is usually mortified when I make him come into the ladies room with me. He is 8 1/2 and very independant. DS1 and DS4 obviously stil come into the ladies room with me. If DH is with us I will make him escort the boys into he mens room. However, if I am by myself I will either make DS tag along or i'll stand at the mens room door, waiting, sometimes opening it up and yelling to make sure they are alright. Not to mention that with most typical public bathrooms, the ladies room is generally cleanest.

Recently we had a child predator here in town stalking little boys in fast food restaurant bathrooms. He was a registered convited sex offender. We live in a small town and if hat can happpen here - it can happen anywhere. I would rather get a few dirty looks from other men or woman than ever have anything happen to my children.

Once my kids are older, 10+ they will not be in Laides rooms, let alone changing rooms. But for now, I am going to take every precaution to keep them safe.

 

[dogluva]

As a grown woman, I have no problem with boys using the ladies room. But, as the mom of preteen GIRLS, I have to remind all you moms to please remind your BOYS that they are going into the LADIES room! Preteen girls are VERY self conscious and they do not expect to see boys in the ladies room. Please remind them to not stare into the stalls or under them. And yes, it has happened- more then once. Its nature. Boys of certain ages will try to "get a peek" of girls there age(or older).


Since I have seen this debate on the boards before, I know most of you with boys won't care about my girls feelings because you think safety trumps feelings. My girls comfort and right to not be stared at in the ladies room is just as important to me. DH has instructed my girls to kick little boys that crawl under or peek under the stalls. My girls deserve the same amount of respect, privacy and concern that you are asking for in bringing your boys into the ladies room.

And this is why my 8 and 7 year old boys do not like going inot the girls room. THere are "girls" in there. It is embarrassing on both ends.

I have three girls and three boys so I do understand your girls feelings. Fortunatly my boys who never do this because they would be too busy hiding their faces never mind looking under stalls. Not all boys are checking the girls out or trying to get a "peek". These are little boys-not little perverts we are talking about.

Sometimes these discussions go way overboard.

 

[noahdove]

I will take my 8 year old nephew into the restroom with me at Disney.. I have to keep him safe as there will not be a male with us. I guess I would rather be safe then sorry. I agree with NemoMOm

 

[Luv Bunnies]

If I am someplace with my 2 boys (9 and 12), I will send them into the men's room together and wait for them outside the door. If I need to use the ladies room, I will park them someplace outside the door and tell them to wait for me there. If the 12 year old isn't with us, my 9 year old will come in to the ladies room with me.

Last week, my 9 year old and I traveled by plane to meet my husband at a convention (12 year old wasn't interested in going and stayed home with my sister). There was no way I was going to send him into an airport men's room by himself and he would be too scared to go in without his dad or brother with him. So, he came into the ladies room with me. We always walk straight in, and I put him in a stall right next to mine. If he finished first, he waits in his stall until I tell him I'm coming out. We wash our hands together and leave immediately. Once we got to the convention, daddy took over bathroom duty with him in restaurants, etc.

 

[mommylicious]

I'm a Mom of 3 sons ages 7, 5 and soon to be 1. For me the biggest issue isn't letting them go into the mens room alone, it's what to do if I am out with them alone and *I* have to pee. Let's say I'm at the mall and I have to go, do I let them stay outside by themselves or do I bring them in with me? If there is a family restroom, we use that option and I deal with my 5 year old's hysterical laughter and yelling "I SEE MOM'S TUSHY!" over and over. (and no, before anyone can say it, I have never, ever had him do that seeing someone else in the ladies room through cracks in the stall or anything). I don't think they are mature enough to handle being left unattended and not wander off while I am in the restroom so they come in with me. I park them in an area near the sinks and tell them to stay there and not up near the stalls. I make it quick and get them out of there as fast as I can. I don't have daughters but I do remember being a young girl and I try to be as respectful as I can but I can not and will not leave them in a situation that sets off my "mom radar" just because someone else might get upset. Most of the time if they have to go and DH isn't with me and there are not family restrooms, I send them in together and I stand at the door. Typically they argue the entire time they are in there so I can stand at the door and know they are OK. It's another thing where if my Mom radar goes off and I don't feel comfortable letting them go into the men's room then I bring them into the ladies room but that is rare. If I have my 5 year old alone that is the big challenge for me. He's big...he's almost 50" tall so he's the size of a 2nd grader but it doesn't change the fact that he is 5 so he still comes with me if his brother isn't there to go in with him.

I am someone who has said that safety trumps comfort (and not just on this issue, on issues where it's my son's comfort too) but I say that with the caveat that if my sons are in there with me know that (1) I have thought of every possible alternative before bringing them in and (2) they have been warned that nothing but "best behavior" is acceptable and that unacceptable behavior will be dealt with swiftly and sternly. For the poster who said...

DH has instructed my girls to kick little boys that crawl under or peek under the stalls.

Hey, I'm the Mom of boys and if it's my school aged son who got kicked b/c he was trying to crawl under, I'd be telling him, basically, that he got what he deserved. I'd be making sure he was OK but he'd be being punished for trying to crawl under. As I said "best behavior" only and my kids know that. There is no excuse for kids over toddler crawling under or peeking under the doors (no excuse for letting your toddler crawl on a bathroom floor but harder to controll 2 year old peekers than school aged peekers ).

 

[Grendalynn]

NASTY!! Have you seen bathroom floors? How grose is that? Just that alone would make me speak to my boys BEFORE they even thought of being a Peeping Tom.

 

[NemoMOm]

Since I have seen this debate on the boards before, I know most of you with boys won't care about my girls feelings because you think safety trumps feelings. My girls comfort and right to not be stared at in the ladies room is just as important to me. DH has instructed my girls to kick little boys that crawl under or peek under the stalls. My girls deserve the same amount of respect, privacy and concern that you are asking for in bringing your boys into the ladies room.

I'm sorry but that is not true. As a mom of a boy and one on the way, my boys would be in DEEP TROUBLE if they peeked under the stalls. My son is only 2.5 yrs but already a well mannered boy because that is how I teach my children. He already respects others to the point that I get compliments from complete strangers.

On another note, as a woman that has a medical condition that causes her to pee constantly (even when I'm not prego, I pee more than my prego friends ) but I have never come in contact with any child peeking under the stalls. However, if it should ever happen I will talk to both child and mother.

Just wanted to let you know, that just because my child's safety is important to me does not mean I do not teach him respect.

Grendalyn-20/20 actually did a show on how nasty public restrooms are, the floors are the worst! 1 Mill. bacteria per sq inch I always get the creepies when people put their stuff on the floor in the stall next to me.

 

[DisneyPhD]

It is a difficult situation. I think there is an age when boys do need to stop going into the womens rest rooms. It is just a social norm. One that people didn't break as much as they do now a days.

The age is a questionable line. I think it is anywhere between 5 and 7 or maybe even 8 years old depending on the child. Once they are old enough to not need any assistance at all in the bathroom and are doing it alone at school. I mean the teachers aren't following 1st and 2nd graders into the bathroom at school. It does depend on the security of the situation and maturity of the child, but the line does have to be drawn at some point. I think some places are less safe then others and needs to be taken on a situational basis.

I do find it ironic that in this day and age we find more kids in R rated or PG13 movies (that are what R rated movies used to be) then you do who are allowed to use the rest room on their own. We (as a society not any one person) push kids to grow up way to fast in so many ways, but then don't let them mature in other ways (use the bathroom alone for 2 min.)

I haven't taken my now 11 year old nephew in the bathroom with me since he was 5 years old (or even younger.)

 

[Grendalynn]

Grendalyn-20/20 actually did a show on how nasty public restrooms are, the floors are the worst! 1 Mill. bacteria per sq inch I always get the creepies when people put their stuff on the floor in the stall next to me.

I KNOW!! I am pranoid to touch anything in a public restroom - floor, flusher handle, door knob, you name it, let alone seeing my child withanything but his feet o the floor! My pocketbook goes right up on the hook on the door ... Even my boys as young as 2 1/2 knew not to flush the toilet with their hand but to use their foot.

I would too speak to any child who tried to crawl under a stall. I would also say something to the mother.