Boy in Kindergarden bothering grandaughter

[jking6]

What to do? My grandaughter is in Kindergarden. There is a boy in her class that will not leave her alone. He bothers her every day and teacher does nothing. My DIL has sent several notes to teacher and no response. this boy pulls her hair, has put glue in her hair, tried to cut her hair and now in class he pulled her shirt up! The teacher has done nothing. My DIL says the kid in a monster and she has seen him uncontrolable. what choices do we have? the school siad we can have her moved to another class. NO she has friends in that class just not this boy, shouldn't he be moved. any advice?

 

[Handbag Lady]

What to do? My grandaughter is in Kindergarden. There is a boy in her class that will not leave her alone. He bothers her every day and teacher does nothing. My DIL has sent several notes to teacher and no response. this boy pulls her hair, has put glue in her hair, tried to cut her hair and now in class he pulled her shirt up! The teacher has done nothing. My DIL says the kid in a monster and she has seen him uncontrolable. what choices do we have? the school siad we can have her moved to another class. NO she has friends in that class just not this boy, shouldn't he be moved. any advice?

If someone pulled my kid's hair, I'd instruct them to strike back. That is all you can do if the teacher is no help. She needs to learn to defend herself.

I'd go to the principal, too.

 

[mhsjax]

Enough with the teacher, she need to go to the principal. If the principal doesn't make things right, then I would inform him that her DD would be fighting back, and there better not be any punishment for fighting back. I would document everything, this is totally unacceptable and I wouldn't stand for it, and I would not let her be moved if she has other friends in the class, the trouble maker should be moved.

 

[cheshireqt]

Teacher is wrong to not respond. Mom should schedule a teacher conference and talk face to face. If that has already been done talk to the principal. If that does not work talk to the parents of the boy. If that does not work and the school does not care about physical bullying or contact then she should be taught to defend herself! Start her out now with loudly, very loudly, telling him to STOP!! In such a way it gets the entire room's attention!

 

[Liberty Belle]

The parent needs to request a face to face conference with the teacher so she can hear both sides and so the teacher will take her seriously. If that doesn't work, she should go to the principal.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Document, document, document. Make sure you CC principal, teacher and counselor.

Request a meeting with the principal, teacher and counselor. Do not just have a meeting with the teacher alone. You need to have a witness and a resolution.

You have tried contacting her with no response now you need back up.

 

[jking6]

My DIL has sent a third and final letter to the Teacher today and requested the teacher sign in before grandaughter comes home from school. guess what no letter in back pack tonight so tomorrow she is going to the principal. enough is enough she is to young to have this crap start already.

 

[mhsjax]

My DIL has sent a third and final letter to the Teacher today and requested the teacher sign in before grandaughter comes home from school. guess what no letter in back pack tonight so tomorrow she is going to the principal. enough is enough she is to young to have this crap start already.

Keep us posted and let us know how it turns out. You know, I said in my earlier post that I didn't think your DGD should be the one that has to be moved, however, it this is how the teacher handles things, I may have second thoughts.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

If someone pulled my kid's hair, I'd instruct them to strike back. That is all you can do if the teacher is no help. She needs to learn to defend herself.

I'd go to the principal, too.

Absolutely not! Most schools have a policy that states that if two kids get in a fight, both are equally guilty. This will only make things worse, not better.

How is the mom sending the notes? I ask because I am teacher. All of our students have take home folders with a daily report. I have had folders come back with the report ripped out. I have had things I sent home not come back, and when I call, the parents never see it. It also works in reverse. There are some students that I do not trust to bring me important communications or take them home. So it is a possibility (albeit a slim one) that if the student is taking them the teacher is not receiving them.

If I were you, I would call the school. Ask to speak to the principal. Have the mother explain her concerns and the lack of response from the teacher. Ask to set up a face to face meeting with both the principal and the teacher.

To let you know, they will be unable to disclose any information about other discipline problems or how they have handled the situation. It may be that the child is indeed being punished, but the school is legally not allowed to disclose that.

I hate to say it, but the chances are slim that they will move that student to another class. At least where I am, we are unable to move students because another student has a problem with them. In that situation, the student that has the problem has to be moved. Ask them about moving her desk so that she is nowhere near the student. Do they have assigned line spots and carpet spots? Ask that she be as far as possible from him in those as well.

Give the school a chance to respond. It may take a few days for action to come out of a meeting like that. Chances are they may already be looking into some kind of "success plan" for that student that you are unaware of and the behavior may already be taken into account. If after about a week's time nothing is happening, then I would consider moving up the latter to the superintendent.

The key is to go in as factual as possible. Try not to get emotional and try not to start accusing as that will put the teacher and principal on the defensive. As much as possible you want them on your side. It will help if you can document specific incidents and when they occur. Finally, are you sure that the girl is telling the teacher? I am thinking of one instance in particular where a student kept telling the parent they were being harassed at school but never once came to the teacher. So when the upset parent called, it caught everybody by surprise. Make sure she is telling the teacher what is happening.

Sorry for the long winded response. As a teacher, I have been on the other side of these types of things. Often there is a lot going on behind the scenes the parents are unaware of. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to try to answer them.

 

[LisaNJ25]

If someone pulled my kid's hair, I'd instruct them to strike back. That is all you can do if the teacher is no help. She needs to learn to defend herself.

I'd go to the principal, too.

I have always told my children that also.

My first grader had been having a problem with a boy in her class... smacking her on her bottom and they last straw was when he wrote a big x on her back.

I emailed the teacher and it was taken care right away. If the teacher had ignored it I would of went to the principal.

 

[mhsjax]

Absolutely not! Most schools have a policy that states that if two kids get in a fight, both are equally guilty. This will only make things worse, not better.

How is the mom sending the notes? I ask because I am teacher. All of our students have take home folders with a daily report. I have had folders come back with the report ripped out. I have had things I sent home not come back, and when I call, the parents never see it. It also works in reverse. There are some students that I do not trust to bring me important communications or take them home. So it is a possibility (albeit a slim one) that if the student is taking them the teacher is not receiving them.

If I were you, I would call the school. Ask to speak to the principal. Have the mother explain her concerns and the lack of response from the teacher. Ask to set up a face to face meeting with both the principal and the teacher.

To let you know, they will be unable to disclose any information about other discipline problems or how they have handled the situation. It may be that the child is indeed being punished, but the school is legally not allowed to disclose that.

I hate to say it, but the chances are slim that they will move that student to another class. At least where I am, we are unable to move students because another student has a problem with them. In that situation, the student that has the problem has to be moved. Ask them about moving her desk so that she is nowhere near the student. Do they have assigned line spots and carpet spots? Ask that she be as far as possible from him in those as well.

Give the school a chance to respond. It may take a few days for action to come out of a meeting like that. Chances are they may already be looking into some kind of "success plan" for that student that you are unaware of and the behavior may already be taken into account. If after about a week's time nothing is happening, then I would consider moving up the latter to the superintendent.

The key is to go in as factual as possible. Try not to get emotional and try not to start accusing as that will put the teacher and principal on the defensive. As much as possible you want them on your side. It will help if you can document specific incidents and when they occur. Finally, are you sure that the girl is telling the teacher? I am thinking of one instance in particular where a student kept telling the parent they were being harassed at school but never once came to the teacher. So when the upset parent called, it caught everybody by surprise. Make sure she is telling the teacher what is happening.

Sorry for the long winded response. As a teacher, I have been on the other side of these types of things. Often there is a lot going on behind the scenes the parents are unaware of. If you have any questions, I'd be happy to try to answer them.

You wouldn't like me very much. I have told my kids that is they are bothered and they tell the teacher and the teacher doesn't do anything, well then I have told them to "take the kid out" I don't and won't put up with any type of harassment and I have told my kids that if they get into trouble and they will, that I will inform the school that they didn't do their job and that my child won't be in trouble at home and if suspended, well then we will just take them to WDW for the day. Sorry, but if the schools won't do their job, then I will take care of it for them.

Luckily, this hasn't happened, and my oldest if in 8th grade. And the youngest is in 4th. I do so hate all the PC in the schools. Luckily I love in an area where none of this is tolerated and the child would be moved. And yes they would tell you that they are taking care of it. They may not tell you what, but in our school, they do communicate with the parents and take care of these situations.

 

[jekajekalynn]

My son went through the same thing when he was in kindergarten.

There was a little girl in his class that was singled him out for some reason and was very odd and mean to him. However, our teacher kept an eye on her and made sure they didn't sit together and whatnot.. Turns out the little girl was having bad mental/emotional probs and had to be taken out of his school.

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

I was picked on in 6th grade and I so wanted to hit this girl back lol but I didn't want to get in trouble. This girl would harass me everyday in the locker room, I started getting depressed, didn't want to go to school, hated everything about it. Finally I broke down one night and told my parents, I cried cried cried. They met with the principal the next day. The principal...yes the principal told me to defend myself if this should happen again. LOL. The girl was suspended for a week and didn't bother me again.
My principal was a very nice lady, but boy if you got her mad you didn't want to be anywhere near her. Her eyes would bug out of the sockets, she had long nails that she would point and tell you to "come here" at you and then lay down the law. LoL.
So if the teacher isn't doing squat then go to the principal.

 

[jking6]

I will keep you all informed but I should mention the teacher does know some of what is going on even if she did not get all the notes but I am quite sure she did. But anyways she told the boy he was bad when he put glue in her hair. When we asked my GD if he was sent to the principals office she said NO. On halloween this boy was uncontrollable and ran down the hall and another teacher had to stop him. During the Christmas party he was so disruptive the teacher took him out into the hall way to talk with him (while his mother stood there and did nothing) I was so glad when my youngest gratuated last year that I would have no more dramma with school and its starting with my GD. Oh well keep warm tonight and I hope weather gets better everywhere.

 

[TinkerbellinNY6]

I agree with the others that she needs to go to the principal and should not let them move her to a different class. She does not deserve to have someone picking on her all the time.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I will keep you all informed but I should mention the teacher does know some of what is going on even if she did not get all the notes but I am quite sure she did. But anyways she told the boy he was bad when he put glue in her hair. When we asked my GD if he was sent to the principals office she said NO. On halloween this boy was uncontrollable and ran down the hall and another teacher had to stop him. During the Christmas party he was so disruptive the teacher took him out into the hall way to talk with him (while his mother stood there and did nothing) I was so glad when my youngest gratuated last year that I would have no more dramma with school and its starting with my GD. Oh well keep warm tonight and I hope weather gets better everywhere.

Unfortunately, teachers just have to endure out of control behavior. It takes a lot to get a student referred for special ed services. The guidelines handed dwon by the government makes it very hard to qualify kids, and behavioral diagnoses are some of the hardest to get. I had to fight for over a year to get a student in my class in a behavioral school. Believe me, it was not for lack of trying.

If you could see some of the things that schools are forced to put up with today, you would be absolutely shocked. I will say that when I student taught, I never saw behavior close to what I see at my current school. I'm sure a big part of it is the urban population. But it's sad the power one student can have over an entire class and the school's hands are tied.

Good luck. Hopefully your meeting goes well and this situation will be resolved.

 

[KristaTX]

this boy pulls her hair, has put glue in her hair, tried to cut her hair and now in class he pulled her shirt up!

He's pretty much crossed a line with that last thing. That could traumatize a kid for years. I can hear kids in junior high school - "Remember that time Billy pulled your shirt up in Kindergarten for all the class to see?"

 

[pilesoflaundry]

It's possible the teacher can't do anything. If he is a special needs stupid with an IEP or other type of plan, they may not be able to do anything.

It stinks for the other kids. My dd was being harrased in kinder by a boy that was special needs, the teacher did what she could but there wasn't much that could be done. So I demanded they were not in class again the following year and my request was allowed.

 

[JessicaR]

Since you are grandma this is kinda hearsay for me, sorry. Sometimes stories get elaborated and changed along the way. However, if what you have said is honestly happening I have no idea why her parents haven't showed up at that school yet. Letter writing days in a row with no response? Yeah right.

 

[JessicaR]

He's pretty much crossed a line with that last thing. That could traumatize a kid for years. I can hear kids in junior high school - "Remember that time Billy pulled your shirt up in Kindergarten for all the class to see?"

Its a lot more than crossing the line and it would have serious consequences if pursued.