Bone Cancer - Anyone????

[SharpMomOfTwo]

I just posted a thread saying that I had a good day because I found out that I don't have cancer, and I get the call from my mother.

If you read my other thread, I said that she just had a double mastectomy (sp?) a few weeks ago. All is fine (or so we though) - we knew that she was going to have to get chemo soon, but thats it - we thought we were done with the cancer. Now she just got back from the Drs, and they said that it has spread into her bones. What does this mean now? Is it pretty much a death sentence? She doesn't have all the tests back yet, but they are pretty sure she has it. I just don't know what to do - I don't have any words..... I just... we thought we were done, and now this. I'm just so devistated.

Any experiences with this? Please don't sugar coat it - I want to know the truth. Do people survive with this, or what?


TIA

 

[Poohgirl]

Well I am happy for you, but sorry you are having to see your Mom go through this. I wish I had a better personal exerience to share, but my Grandmother died of bone cancer at 63. She had several rounds of chemo and/or radiation (I can't remember exactly) She fought for about a year. Please remember everyone is different. Your mom can beat this. Prayers to you both.

 

[themilesfamily]

I don't know much about this, but to you.

I think this is what happened to Elizabeth Edwards -- breast cancer that spread to the bones. Here's an article where they talk a little bit about treatment and survival rates. They say there are a lot of meds they can treat this with...

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,260463,00.html

 

[Rebelmom67]

I only have hugs to give and prayers to offer.

 

[honugirl]

I know quite a few people with mets in their bones that are doing quite well. They are actually living and enjoying themselves. Yes, they're pretty much on a maintenance regimen of chemo, but for the most part it's tolerable and they do fine.

 

[cbilton]

I don't know much about others, but our family had a very unfortunate history with this as I lost my mom to bone cancer.

Hugs and peace to you and your family. Cancer can be beaten.

 

[Robinrs]

 

[SharpMomOfTwo]

I'm just so angry right now. I mean, they told her she had breast cancer - they took her breasts, and now its like, what was the point - 'cause now you have bone cancer!!!! I mean, why didn't they do the ******* bone scan BEFORE they put her through this mastectomy?!?!? I'm just so upset and angry!
I'm angry at my mother because she hadn't gone for a mamogram - EVER!!! I mean, did she think she was superwoman?!? I'm sorry, I'm just so mad, and sad, and just frustrated right now! This isn't fair! Its not fair to me, its not fair to my father, its not fair to my siblings, and its not fair to my kids!!! Sorry, I just really needed to vent.

 

[perdidobay]

Vent away all you want.

 

[SeaSpray]

I'm just so angry right now. I mean, they told her she had breast cancer - they took her breasts, and now its like, what was the point - 'cause now you have bone cancer!!!! I mean, why didn't they do the ******* bone scan BEFORE they put her through this mastectomy?!?!? I'm just so upset and angry!
I'm angry at my mother because she hadn't gone for a mamogram - EVER!!! I mean, did she think she was superwoman?!? I'm sorry, I'm just so mad, and sad, and just frustrated right now! This isn't fair! Its not fair to me, its not fair to my father, its not fair to my siblings, and its not fair to my kids!!! Sorry, I just really needed to vent.

You are right, it's NOT fair. If I were you, I'd want to know why they didn't know about the bone cancer before the mastectomies, too. Maybe there is a valid reason.

I'm so sorry that you and your mom and your family are going through this. There has been a lot of cancer in my family (my sister has had a few different cancers, including breast cancer, and also had a double mastectomy). We've had some recent scares in the family too.

Please vent all that you need to.

 

[Shelton123]

My VVDGF has Osteosarcoma and she's doing better than most patients (it should go away soon, that's at least what she said the doctors told her!), and Sonya (imabrat) has been a cancer survivor for 14 months now.

 

[imabrat]

I had bone cancer, and I've sent you a PM.

 

[laurie31]

I'm so sorry. I hope things will go well for your mother. It's a bad thing, but it's not a certain death sentence.

However, remember that bone cancer (meaning cancer that begins as bone cancer) has a different prognosis than when the cancer spreads to the bones from somewhere else. Only your mom's oncologist can know her specific outlook, and also why they didn't know about the metastasis until now.

 

[C.Ann]

I'm just so angry right now. I mean, they told her she had breast cancer - they took her breasts, and now its like, what was the point - 'cause now you have bone cancer!!!! I mean, why didn't they do the ******* bone scan BEFORE they put her through this mastectomy?!?!? I'm just so upset and angry!
I'm angry at my mother because she hadn't gone for a mamogram - EVER!!! I mean, did she think she was superwoman?!? I'm sorry, I'm just so mad, and sad, and just frustrated right now! This isn't fair! Its not fair to me, its not fair to my father, its not fair to my siblings, and its not fair to my kids!!! Sorry, I just really needed to vent.

-------------------

If you are going to research this on the internet, just remember that your mom doesn't actually have "bone cancer" - she has breast cancer in her bones.. (Like my neighbors DH that just passed away last night.. He' been battling lung cancer for 5+ years and a few months ago they found a large tumor in his brain.. It wasn't "brain cancer" - it was "lung cancer" that had spread to his brain.. The info you find will be different for breast cancer mets and "bone cancer"..

It's good you have the DIS to vent your anger - get it all out now - and then be there for your mom.. There may be some reason the doctors weren't aware of this before the double mastectomy and therefore didn't feel the need to do the bone scan prior - and then again, maybe not..

You're right.. It's not "fair" - to any of you.. It's a bitter, bitter pill to swallow.. I'm so glad that your test results were good - imagine having to deal with both of these situations at the same time?

Yell - scream - cry - go through all of the "stages" you need to.. I think you're in shock right now..

My best to you - your family - and your mom.. I will keep all of you in my prayers..

 

[mrsv98]

I know quite a few people with mets in their bones that are doing quite well. They are actually living and enjoying themselves. Yes, they're pretty much on a maintenance regimen of chemo, but for the most part it's tolerable and they do fine.

My DBIL has had "spots" on his bones and in a few other places for going on 4 years now. He had prostate cancer that reoccurred after about 18 months. Every three months he goes for a check and some sort of shot. Over time it may deteriorate his organs but the shots are buying him time.

In the meanwhile, he is still teaching and traveling. He and DSil have a house on Beaver Island and they spend the summers there very happily.

I think it depends on what kind your DMom has and what the docs think they can do for it. The big lesson I learned from our family experience is do your research and get many opinions.

 

[MoniqueU]

Just take some time to be with your mom, go to her Dr's appts with her however that will happen even if you have to take fmla. I don't blame you for being angry. And scared. I have some experience with this with my FIL and the doctors were horrible to him and he just gave up. Be an advocate for her and a souce of support.

 

[DMRick]

I'm sorry, this is a hard pill to swallow. You have a right to be angry, but it is what it is, and there is nothing retroactively your mom can do now, so you really just need to be there for her. My mom's primary site of cancer was her lungs. She went through a lot, before they found it had metastasized to her bones (in retrospect, I wish we had let it go, but the will to live is strong, and it was my mom's choice to have chemo and radiation. She didn't regret a moment of it. She got to see my daughter get married, she got a few more months with my dad, and we got to show her how much we loved her. I don't know what her choice would have been if we knew how severe the bone cancer was..she thought she was working towards a cure). While the primary site of cancer started in her lung, before long what affected her the most, was the bone cancer. If the primary spot had been a bone, our oncologist said there would be more he could do, but unfortunately, we soon realized my mom's time was limited. My mom passed in '89, 8 months after her dianoses, and 12 months after they first started testing her, and there have been many changes since then, so her doctor is your best bet for answers.
Please go with your mom to her oncologist, as there will be a lot to decide and think on. Her mind and your's will be going in a dozen directions, so it's good to have more than one person listening to the doctor. We taped the conversation, and I'm glad we did, we missed so much.
I hope (because hope can be good) that they have misdiagnosed, or that they have a plan ready to go in place for your mom, and that the outcome will be a good one, for all of you.
I am sorry, I really do feel your pain. Cancer is a horrible disease, and it seems to come when we least expect it.

I just posted a thread saying that I had a good day because I found out that I don't have cancer, and I get the call from my mother.

If you read my other thread, I said that she just had a double mastectomy (sp?) a few weeks ago. All is fine (or so we though) - we knew that she was going to have to get chemo soon, but thats it - we thought we were done with the cancer. Now she just got back from the Drs, and they said that it has spread into her bones. What does this mean now? Is it pretty much a death sentence? She doesn't have all the tests back yet, but they are pretty sure she has it. I just don't know what to do - I don't have any words..... I just... we thought we were done, and now this. I'm just so devistated.

Any experiences with this? Please don't sugar coat it - I want to know the truth. Do people survive with this, or what?


TIA