Blue Skies and Sunshine - from Pregnant to (Princess) Half Marathon 2023

[Herding_Cats]

I remember wanting so desperately to get back to "normal" after having the kids. Remember that you just made an ENTIRE PERSON! And that you either had major abdominal surgery OR pushed out an entire person! Huge, amazing things happened. Remember that even after your 6 week checkup, that just because you are *medically* cleared to do something does not mean that it will feel good/go the way you want. I definitely was not in any shape to run 6 weeks post partum, but I'm sure there are people who ARE ready for that. (On a side note, pelvic floor stuff is important, especially post-partum.)

I have an online friend with the BEST online names for her kids: Full Polska, Typical Oldest Child, Peacock Golden Feather, etc. I'm lame and just use my kids' names.

 

[JAMIESMITH]

Definitely take it slow and listen to your body. You'll bounce back soon enough.

I like "Princess first initial". It's easy to follow.

 

[C.beara]

I remember wanting so desperately to get back to "normal" after having the kids. Remember that you just made an ENTIRE PERSON! And that you either had major abdominal surgery OR pushed out an entire person! Huge, amazing things happened. Remember that even after your 6 week checkup, that just because you are *medically* cleared to do something does not mean that it will feel good/go the way you want. I definitely was not in any shape to run 6 weeks post partum, but I'm sure there are people who ARE ready for that. (On a side note, pelvic floor stuff is important, especially post-partum.)

I have an online friend with the BEST online names for her kids: Full Polska, Typical Oldest Child, Peacock Golden Feather, etc. I'm lame and just use my kids' names.

Firstly, those are fantastic names! I am not that creative though lol.
And as for running, I think I've finally come to terms with the fact that I will not be running at six weeks postpartum. I am slowly incorporating some pelvic floor exercises and gentle stretches into my day, and walking when I can, and we'll see where that leads me.

Definitely take it slow and listen to your body. You'll bounce back soon enough.

I like "Princess first initial". It's easy to follow.

That's the (new) plan: taking it slow! I don't know why I naively thought it would be anything but that!

I love the suggestion, thank you! Little one will now be referred to as Princess T!

 

[C.beara]

So I'm getting close to more regular updates again I think.

Last week Princess T got a stroller walk of approximately 3km each morning, plus a 2-ish km walk almost every evening with DH! I'm super excited that I'm managing so long on my feet right now, even if it's at a snail's pace I also managed 10-ish minutes of "yoga" 4 or 5 days last week. Yoga in quotations because I'm only doing selected, gentle-ish moves, not a true practice with sun salutations or anything.

Goal for this week: I'm going to try and take puppy with us on our morning walk. He's very energetic and is missing his 2 daily walks right now (DH only has time to take him in the evenings). I'm just a little worried because he's so strong for a small dog that I actually think holding his leash is what tweaked my back a couple weeks ago, so I don't want to take him until I feel confident I'm stronger.

 

[C.beara]

Spending more and more time on my feet and longer walks, I’m noticing more pain and discomfort in my pelvic floor. Usually it builds over the course of the day so first thing in the morning I’m fine, and then I probably push myself further than I should and by the end of the day I’m in more pain than I was 2 weeks postpartum...

Seriously considering pelvic floor physio, has anyone done this? Would you recommend it?

The past two weeks I’ve been building just more walks, trying to slowly increase my pace, and I’ve done a couple real yoga practices with one of my favourite instructors online/on demand (which is great I don’t have to be ready for 10am or anything specific). And a couple times I started a yoga class I had to stop because Princess T decided she didn’t want to nap. I successfully walked the dog with the stroller, although sometimes he didn’t walk the nicest - but remembering treats helps!

But this pain is really making me reconsider how soon I should be doing things, and if I’ve jumped the gun even with gentle yoga. I know all the muscles in my core and pelvic region are connected somehow, but it’s tough when you don’t feel like you’re engaging an area and then later on it causes issues, if that makes sense?

 

[Herding_Cats]

Yes to pelvic floor PT. Find one that specializes in it, not just a general PT.

 

[C.beara]

Yes to pelvic floor PT. Find one that specializes in it, not just a general PT.

Thanks for the tip, I’m a little apprehensive about it, so nice to hear you’ve tried it and recommend it. I think there are some specialists in my city so I’ll give them a call and give it a try

 

[Herding_Cats]

It’s not any worse than getting a pelvic from your gyno. And the answer is NOT always kegels or whatever. There are a LOT of other things my PT had me do.

 

[C.beara]

June Recap:
Walking: 104.6km
Yoga: ~4 hours
Strength Training: ~20 minutes

I'm trying to put the walking into perspective, because I never used to measure distance, but the Garmin won't measure steps while pushing the stroller so I've started doing that as a measure of accountability. I also try for some of the badges/challenges on Garmin - I was *this close* to getting the 2021 Walking Part 2 badge with just my June miles. But I think pre-pregnancy I was averaging 5-7 walking km/day, so approximately 150-200 (ish) km/month. I don't think I can be upset with my progress.

I honestly thought I would be back running by the end of June - not fast or back to pre-pregnancy distances, but I had it in my mind that the last weekend in June I would have a run, because DH originally had a race scheduled for that weekend that we would travel for and there are some great paths at the resort that I would've enjoyed my first run on. And even when that was cancelled I still thought that by the end of June I could try a run. So that was disappointing that I didn't - I am proud I listened to my body though and didn't push myself past my limits.

I am happy with my walking mileage, and I'm feeling a lot better than I was in the middle of the month which is the most important part.

It's just really tough not being able to do things you used to be able to. It's taking a bit of a mental toll for sure, which I'm sure isn't helped by the lack of sleep. But I'm still puttering along.

 

[C.beara]

July Recap
Walking: 76.3km
Yoga: ~ 2 hours
Strength training: ~ 15 minutes
Indoor Cycling: ~ 30 minutes

Wow, so I don’t know where July went. I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. Princess T isn’t on a nap schedule yet so it’s been tough finding time to get any “extra” exercise in. I really thought I was going to start increasing intensity with cycling all month, but that didn’t happen. We spent a week at a cottage so I was expecting walking mileage to go down so that’s about right.

I think I might be ready to start running, my goal is to hopefully get two short runs (run/walks?) in during August as a test to see how I’m feeling. I haven’t called PT yet, but I’m feeling a lot better already and I want to test out some higher impact exercise before I decide if I need it.

I am also planning to get in a lot more strength training to start rebuilding muscle because I think that’s one of the keys to getting me feeling strong and confident again.

Mentally, I have good days and I have bad days, and the bad days really suck. I just want to feel like myself again. Don’t get me wrong, I love my little girl, but it’s a huge change and it’s tough sometimes. I hate not feeling confident in anything I do, I’m in completely new territory. And everyone expects me to have all the answers…

 

[Herding_Cats]

I was just thinking about you today as it had been awhile since you’d checked in!

Huge cyber hugs to you! Motherhood is a huge change and it can be so hard to try to figure out what will work for you while balancing trying to do everything “right.” It can definitely feel and BE overwhelming. I will encourage you to ask for more help than you think you need (sometimes it’s easy to just assume we can do more than we really should) from friends and family if they are nearby. YOU matter and your feelings matter.

 

[C.beara]

I was just thinking about you today as it had been awhile since you’d checked in!

Huge cyber hugs to you! Motherhood is a huge change and it can be so hard to try to figure out what will work for you while balancing trying to do everything “right.” It can definitely feel and BE overwhelming. I will encourage you to ask for more help than you think you need (sometimes it’s easy to just assume we can do more than we really should) from friends and family if they are nearby. YOU matter and your feelings matter.

Thank you. I struggle to accept help, and the silly part is I have a lot of people willing to help around me. Your post was the push I needed, and I think MIL is coming over to give me some time this afternoon.

 

[Herding_Cats]

Peeking in here to say hi! Hope you’re finding your groove! And you’re doing great!

 

[C.beara]

Peeking in here to say hi! Hope you’re finding your groove! And you’re doing great!

Thanks for checking in! You’re so kind I’m working on my August summary now, but it was a heck of a month…. Things can only go up from here, right?!?

 

[C.beara]

August Summary
Walking: 69.1km
Yoga: ~3 hours
Strength Training: ~45 minutes
Running: 5.3km, two runs

Well August was a doozy of a month. Firstly, it was stupidly hot, I couldn’t take Princess T outside in her stroller, so could not walk as much as I would’ve like to. I ran outside once in spite of the heat, and felt “like I was hit by a truck” afterwards. The other run was on the treadmill. Both were completely unscripted, without expectations, and some variation of run/walk. I’m not where I want to be, and it is somewhat frustrating, but after 11 (practically 12) months off from running, I’m just happy to be back out there trying. I know it’ll come, it’ll just take work. I do need to reset the intervals on my watch though to something much more reasonable lol

Secondly, emotions were running high, and I hit a bit of a breaking point. I’ve been debating how much to share here, but I said I’d be genuine, so…. (spoiler tag for a possible trigger warning)

Spoiler

I am experiencing symptoms of PPD. I’ve spoken to my doctor about it and gotten some resources, but it’s a long way to go from here. There’s a backlog for psychological help due to the pandemic, but I’m hoping psychologists who specialize in PPD may not be as backlogged…

I’m relieved to know that what I’ve been experiencing is more than “normal”, although it doesn’t necessarily make me feel better, maybe validated is the better emotion? But the constant worrying, feelings of failure, guilt, and inability to settle my brain didn’t disappear because of a diagnosis.

I may get into more about what I’ve been feeling at a later date, but it’s been overwhelming, and as much as it’s good to talk about it, it’s also exhausting.

I’ve been making a conscious effort to do 10-15 minutes of yoga almost everyday, especially when I find myself scrolling through Facebook for the umpteenth time that day, as a chance to reset. I think it’s helping a little, but I know I’m going to need more than yoga to get through this.

As for running, at this point I’m aiming for once a week. I think that’s all I can commit to. I’m not ready to make a running plan or goals yet, other than keep at it. I probably should make a plan for pelvic physio, but it’s just really not something I want to do right now if I’m being perfectly honest. I’m doing some exercises when I remember, and I should actually make a plan for that and strength training to keep myself more accountable.

However, with that said, my only goal for September is to read the resources from my doctor, and action a few items from them. I’m not going to say “3” or “5” or specify how many actions, because I want to be reasonable, and I’ll be happy just as long as I do something towards recovery. And if I can keep up the daily yoga, that’s great. And if I can run 4-5 times this month, it’ll be fantastic.

 

[SheHulk]

The stuff in your spoiler tag is totally normal. Just wanted to say that. And you are doing great.

 

[C.beara]

September Summary

Walking: 146.1 km
Yoga: 3 hours, 45 minutes (14 days)
Running: 12km (4 runs)

Goals vs Reality

my only goal for September is to read the resources from my doctor, and action a few items from them

I started off strong here. I bookmarked a bunch of the links, I read about the medication, and I downloaded one of the many books on PPD and read the first two chapters.
But that was all in the first week and I kind of stopped. It was like I did too much, or I was (still am) struggling to acknowledge that I have PPD. I haven’t started the meds yet.
I have good days. I have bad days. I still laugh and smile when playing with Princess T. But I also can’t stop worrying constantly. And I am irritated all the time (at myself, DH, always adults, never Princess T just to be clear on that).
I know meds will help. I know it’s the same as if I had a broken leg or another issue that there’s nothing wrong with taking meds for mental health. But I am struggling to accept that I need them.
I am going to try to read more of the book, maybe that will help.

And if I can keep up the daily yoga, that’s great. And if I can run 4-5 times this month, it’ll be fantastic.

Daily yoga not so much. Really dropped off the last two weeks. It was helping though so I need to figure out how to implement this better.
I can’t believe I actually ran 4 times! Like wow. All intervals and a couple “too ambitious” intervals, but they helped me get out of the house and really do something just for me. It’s hard for me to not think about Princess T when I’m in the house. Even if she’s sleeping or someone else is watching her. They really tired me out though. Like I am so out of shape.

Otherwise, wow those walking kilometres! We had some fantastic weather this month. I started to feel way more confident walking longer distances again and did quite a few 5k walks. Time outside felt really great.
I have started doing some old physio (leg/knee) exercises when I’m playing on the floor with Princess T and I think it’s making a difference. It’s really showing me that I need to incorporate the strength training again.

There just aren’t enough hours in the day. DH keeps saying we’ll figure something out to get me more time to exercise, but it’s tough. I know we’ll figure it out eventually. And it’ll get easier as Princess T gets a little older and we get into a routine. I hope. That’s all I can do right now.

October goals: I might just copy September honestly, with some addendums:
1. Read something from my PPD resources at least once per week
2. Try to incorporate a short yoga session 3 times per week.
3. Try to run once per week (if I can start working up to twice per week I think this will be a huge boost but not putting that pressure on myself)
4. Keep up the walking as weather permits!

 

[Herding_Cats]

I’m so glad to see you popping back in here! Those walking km are fantastic! And yoga every other day (on average) is amazing too! It sounds like you are starting to find a groove.

 

[C.beara]

October Summary

Walking: 146.3km
Running: 9km (three runs)
Yoga: 2 hours 21 minutes (8 sessions)

Well October walking just barely beat out my impressive September mileage. We had some rainy days that we got stuck inside so overall not bad. The rain also prevented at least one planned run. I have no excuse for the limited yoga.

I started writing this recap several times, and realized I just don’t have the mental capacity for this right now. I am struggling and as much as the support on here has been great, I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep up this journal right now. It’s just not my priority, spending time with my little girl and getting myself better are.

 

[SheHulk]