Biting....is your kid a biter? What can I do?

[emma'smom]

Well...it's my kid! My dd20 months is the class biter! Actually, there seem be three students in her day care class who spend the day biting each other. I've had days when I have had three incident reports waiting when I have picked her up at the end of the day. She is teeth marks all over her body (hands, arms, back, legs, etc)!

I read an NAEYC article on biting (and yes, I understand that is part of normal development and that she is probably acting on frustrations because she can't alwasy communicate her ideas clearly at this age- although she is pretty verbally advanced). I sent a toothbrush in to chew on, they have provided crunchy snacks, .....nothing works.

She's the class biter....what can I do?

 

[flortlebap]

Well before I was a parent I would have said bite them back, that'll stop them!!

But now I realise that a lot of children's acting up is learned behaviour. If the other kids are doing it, she will too! Unfortunately I can't say anything that you don't already know - it's a passing phase, she WILL stop of her own accord if you tell her it's wrong. I'd be more worried if she was doing it as an older child out of aggression!!

 

[emma'smom]

I just hope I can wait until she outgrows it....when we are in group situations (like a play date, the church nursery, or anywhere that she plays with other small children like on the sidelines at dd4's soccer games) I cringe everytime a child near my dd cries because I'm worried that the child has been bitten by my little vampire! =)

 

[Merriwind]

Ok, this may sound harsh, but it worked. My Dsis was a horrible biter. She bit me most of all, but once she started preschool, she was biting there too. My Dparents tried many things--chewing type toys, scolding, timeout, spanking. Nothing worked. One day, she bit my back--hard. (She was probably 2.5ish) My Dmom made her take a bite of Ivory soap. That was the end of the biting.

Good luck to you!

 

[MINNIE OF TWO MICE]

My best friends boy use to bite my boy and literaly draw blood. She would do nothing because she didnt want to draw attention to the situation. (that was her solution that didnt work) One day I was babysitting him and he did it. I told my son to bite him back.....he cried and cried because he didnt want to, but he did. I made him do it hard. I know this sounds mean but when my friend got there my son still had a mark but her son didnt. I told her what I did, she was not mad, and her son never bit my son again.

P.S. We are still best friends. They were probably twoish at the time. Maybe three.

 

[lady9]

My sister's son is a biter. At home or at another person's house she tries to keep a close eye on him. She has pin pointed that he bites to get the toy he wants or if someone takes a toy from him. Although children under 3 (he's just 2) have difficult time understanding the concept of sharing, she tries to practice with him by having him give her a toy, she's plays with it a brief time and then hands it back to him. If he does bite, she puts him in a time out for 2 minutes. Afterward, she hugs him and makes him say "Sorry." She also says a firm, "No biting." It has gotten better in the last month. I think biting is one of those things that children eventually outgrow but it is tough while they are in that phase. Good Luck!

 

[mickeymel]

This may seem very odd, but it worked with my daughter. My daughter was a biter from about 11 months. She is now almost 3. SHe was in daycare and nothing they did seemed to do helped. We met and talked, but nothing seemd to work. She bit at home for a while, but not long. Because they could not be as strict as I could at home --that is why I felt it wasn't working at daycare.

Until a new 2 year old teacher was hired. I call her my own supernanny. She met with me and said she wanted to try a technique called "nice touches". When she would attempt to bite or actually bite she would bring her to the classmate and instead of being so negative about it (saying we don't bite...biting hurts-- as the teachers had done in the past) she would in a very calm voice say "we only give nice touches...can you show me a nice touch". The teacher had to show her nice touches (like rubbing classmates arm, hand, or hugging them). Then she would have to go to time out and the teacher would tell her she needed to sit in time out so she could help herself to remember to only give nice touches. I am not kidding you within a week she had stopped biting. She has never bitten since. SHe even told a neighbors child (who was throwing rocks at her dog) that she needs to use nice touches.

It sounds weird, but my stress level is much lower these days not having to worry about the biting.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I think you need to take a close look at the day care situation. An occasional bite IS normal in a class of toddlers, but not this much bitting. Look at the ratio, the activities going on throughout the day Arethe kids kept busy and happy? Are they getingthe attention that they need?? Once a child bites, that child must have closer supervision. I think you need to look at the whole class situation.

As for help, try looking into sign language classes. Verbal flustration is often the key to bitting. If they can communicate better, somtimes that helps. Firm, NO and then focus you attention on the child that was bitten. The fact that she has been bitten so many times is going to make it really hard.

See the director and have her look at the class. Our school's 2 year old ratio is 1:6 with a degreed teacher that works so hard to keep the children active and engaged. I can not remember the last bite we had but it has not been in the last year at least.

Yes bitting is normal but this situation does not sound typical.

Good luck.
sandra