Birthday Party - turning into a budget buster

[LuLuO]

It is not a issue with party supplies, I have plenty, it is at a venue, where I am allowed a certain number of kids and honestly I don't want a bunch of kids celebrating my DD's b-day with her she doesn't know. Yes, I can pay extra for additional kids but right now the cost of the party has now reached over $600 and I have no desire to pay money out for kids I don't know and were not invited.

I personally have feed parents in the past, but today DD's teacher and a friend of mine, said no way, the party is for the kids, so I am wondering if that is the norm or not.

Should I feed the parents? Which I am fine with, but I need to give them a count for the food tomorrow and I don't want to spend even more money for food that is not expected and may not be eaten.

$600+?

I myself would not expect to eat. I'm there to keep an eye on DD. We've been to a handful of kids parties and the parents have never eaten. I've seen cake offered to parents at two parties. They were huge cakes and the parents didn't want to bring cake home.

 

[BarbWB]

I definitely wouldn't include siblings. I've had this issue before and I just told people that with friends, neighbors, and relatives invited, I was already past the max limit of kids the venue allowed for the party I booked. One mom was a little cranky, but there's nothing I can do about that!!!

But, for food, if you are having the party at a meal time and the kids are younger, I think you need to provide food for the parents. Most people (correctly, IMO) don't feel comfortable just dropping their kids off at a public place for a big party with parents they don't know well. You have to assume they are going to eat, and, as the host, you should provide them food. JMHO, though!!!

 

[mamaLori05]

I would never go to a kids party and EXPECT to eat, however most parties I have gone to the parents are always offered. I also usually offer food to the parents. I would say if you know parents are going to be there, it would be nice to make sure you have enough pizza so that each parent could have one slice.

 

[lady_bug_888]

At my DS last 2 bday parties his best friends sister has tagged along. The first time his whole family came which I wasn't prepared for but since another kid who had RSVP'd hadn't come I at least had an extra goodie bag and I wasn't over my limit for the party venue so I didn't pay any extra! I didn't really say anything the 1st year and then the 2nd year it happened again. I was going to say something then BUT I found out the reason why his sister comes is because this kid has a medical condition that needs to be monitored. The parents hadn't told me because they didn't want me to treat their son differently. For me, it has worked out all right because we are now friends with the whole family and my DS's friends sister is responsible and took care of her brother (and participated at my encouragement). The family also sent TWO gifts for my son which was nice and not expected.

That said, I haven't had any other people try and drop their kids off without an invitation. If I were the OP I would just tell people that you are only allowed X number of children and you have invited that number. I don't know if I would let them just pay the over limit fee...maybe if the parent stayed but you certainly don't want to be responsible for even more children.

As for the goody bag issue...this past year I let my DS invite 27 people to his party (we did it at home). The theme was super mario and I handmade boxes, that looked like the question mark boxes from the game, that were used as the goody bags. I only had 8 people RSVP but I knew more would come. I made 17 boxes and figured if I ran out of boxes then that was too bad because they should have RSVP'd. I ended up with 3 left over and that's what makes me mad. Why can't people RSVP???? I hate having left overs. What am I supposed to do with them? Right now all my unused party stuff is sitting in a suitcase in my closet. I think one year I am going to have some crazy themed party just to use it all up!

To the OP: Hope your DD's party is awesome and this all gets sorted out amicably!

 

[lucyem]

As to feeding the parents that depends and I as a parent would never expect it. Some parties there is enough for kids and parents. Some parties offer any extras to the parents. Some parties have no extras for the parents. It depends on the venue. In your case I would not feed the parents. If the party was in your house and you were ordering a bunch of pizzas thats one thing. You are paying enough to feed the kids so do not bother with the parents.

 

[mom2grace]

I find that kids don't eat at the parties. I would order enough pizza for the kids & then the parents can have the extras.

 

[eroilersgal]

Its like that in our school too. I just mail the invites. Problem solved.

Good Luck!

This.

 

[littlezar]

My 9yr old just brought home a party invitation yesterday for a laser tag party. The invitation included a paper that says the child's party guests will play (2) 20 minute games. The first starting immediately at 1:50, followed by 20 minutes in party room then another 20 minute game. Party time is listed as 1:40-3:50. "It ends with parents and siblings who would like to suit up for a laser game are responsible for their own games for $9+tax. You can choose to join the game or sit in the party room and relax. We only have reservations for 10 kids for our sessions."

That said, I replied via email that my 9 yr old will attend. My husband will probably take my 2 older boys as well and while my 9yr old is at the party, they'll do their own thing.

My 15 yr old was given a printed (on computer) invitation to join his friend at the movie theater at the mall to see whatever was coming out that weekend and they planned to eat at Johnny Rockets. I take him to the mall, drop him off and tell him to call me when they're done. I gave him $30 because I don't like him going anywhere without money. Good thing I did because it turns out that the kids all paid for their own food at the restaurant AND their movie tickets and the birthday kid still got gifts from everyone. Totally not right!

 

[tinkarooni]

My 9yr old just brought home a party invitation yesterday for a laser tag party. The invitation included a paper that says the child's party guests will play (2) 20 minute games. The first starting immediately at 1:50, followed by 20 minutes in party room then another 20 minute game. Party time is listed as 1:40-3:50. "It ends with parents and siblings who would like to suit up for a laser game are responsible for their own games for $9+tax. You can choose to join the game or sit in the party room and relax. We only have reservations for 10 kids for our sessions."

That said, I replied via email that my 9 yr old will attend. My husband will probably take my 2 older boys as well and while my 9yr old is at the party, they'll do their own thing.

My 15 yr old was given a printed (on computer) invitation to join his friend at the movie theater at the mall to see whatever was coming out that weekend and they planned to eat at Johnny Rockets. I take him to the mall, drop him off and tell him to call me when they're done. I gave him $30 because I don't like him going anywhere without money. Good thing I did because it turns out that the kids all paid for their own food at the restaurant AND their movie tickets and the birthday kid still got gifts from everyone. Totally not right!

Ooooooo tacky. It is one thing if a 15 year old says "it's my birthday let's go hang out at the mall and see a movie" than I would think everybody was on their own for paying, but also probably wouldn't do gifts, but to get a printed invitation to dinner and a movie and bring a gift and than have to pay for yourself....that's really tacky.

To answer the OP question, how old is the birthday child? When my kids were little and children required some parental supervision (4-5-6) I always had enough food for parents. Once they got older and could reasonably be dropped off I stopped providing food for grownups. Now that being said when I take my kids to a party I often still stay at a venue and my oldest is 12. I make myself scarce, buy my own food or movie ticket whatever. Where we live it's not reasonable to drive out to wherever, and drive home just to turn around and go back. Sometimes I will bring younger sibling, but I do the same thing and I don't even tell the party planning parent I'm staying or bringing along my younger daughter. There is no need if it is a public venue, I don't want to put them in the position of having to offer anything to my other un-invited child. The party is for the child who was invited. I don't understand parents issue with that. It all works out in the end anyway, both of my kids get invited to things at different times.

DS is 13 y/o this year. I have decided friends parties are over. For a lot of these reasons. We will have a family party and he can invite a couple of good friends to that.

 

[Vijoge]

It seems to get easier as they get older. My granddaughter is turning 12 in May. She has already decided she wants to invite two friends to go to the mall, see a movie, and then come home and camp out in our backyard for the night.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

As a parent with more than one child I could not imagine asking to bring siblings that weren't invited. Totally tacky and rude. My kids are all close in age so they all know how fun the bounce house place is or laser tag etc. Only the invited child goes. The end. I don't understand why some parents think they can bring all of their kids. It is especially obnoxious when BOTH parents come to the party with all the siblings! Really? One of you can't stay home with the uninvited ones? Rude rude rude!
Oh- here is another thing that I think is so obnoxious. If your child is invited to a party at say the bounce place and their sibling really really really wants to go too! it is NOT okay just because you give the party host the money for that sibling. Tell your kid no! They were not invited and are not friends with the birthday child. Be a parent for crying out loud!
On the other end- if someone calls me to rsvp and they tell me they are trying to figure out childcare and are having a problem (parents all stay for parties here) then I will ALWAYS tell them to bring the sibling because I know that sometimes it can be hard to arrange. My kids want their friends there so if the occassinal sibling comes then I don't mind. Thankfully most people don't show up with their whole extended family.

 

[maddiesmom0116]

Ooooooo tacky. It is one thing if a 15 year old says "it's my birthday let's go hang out at the mall and see a movie" than I would think everybody was on their own for paying, but also probably wouldn't do gifts, but to get a printed invitation to dinner and a movie and bring a gift and than have to pay for yourself....that's really tacky.

To answer the OP question, how old is the birthday child? When my kids were little and children required some parental supervision (4-5-6) I always had enough food for parents. Once they got older and could reasonably be dropped off I stopped providing food for grownups. Now that being said when I take my kids to a party I often still stay at a venue and my oldest is 12. I make myself scarce, buy my own food or movie ticket whatever. Where we live it's not reasonable to drive out to wherever, and drive home just to turn around and go back. Sometimes I will bring younger sibling, but I do the same thing and I don't even tell the party planning parent I'm staying or bringing along my younger daughter. There is no need if it is a public venue, I don't want to put them in the position of having to offer anything to my other un-invited child. The party is for the child who was invited. I don't understand parents issue with that. It all works out in the end anyway, both of my kids get invited to things at different times.

DS is 13 y/o this year. I have decided friends parties are over. For a lot of these reasons. We will have a family party and he can invite a couple of good friends to that.

Hi-
The party is for my 7 year old, the kids invited are all from her class and myself, the other co-room mom and the teacher will all be there as well to ensure enough supervision with people the kids know well and also we know how to deal with each of them.