Birthday Party Question

[mjkacmom]

I feel sorry for that child!!

And that is why I would include his sibbling. Chances are she plans to do her own thing with the younger sibbling, but it would be very nice to invite them back over to the table to join you all for cake at least. We have no idea what the situation may be with this mom. It may be the only time these children ever get to go to CC. CC can be CRAZY busy and if the mom does not know the host family she may not be comfortable with a drop off. I still say just bite the bullet and ask the child to join the party.[/QUOTE]

But she can easily stay with the younger sibling, without asking for the host to fork over $15 for the sibling. I'm sure that most of the children attending the party have siblings who either are under their parents' supervision at the party, or are left in someone elses care. Sure, offer up some cake, but don't pay the $15.

 

[kpgriswold]

Maybe I am misunderstanding why you upset, but I have often taken a younger child along to an older child's party held in a public place. The big kid bowls with his b-day buddies, my little one and I bowl in our own lane on my dime. Or the big kid uses Chuck E. tokens provided by the host and eats her pizza, while I buy the little one tokens and pizza myself. What's the big deal? It's not like she's bringing the kid to hang out in your house!

If you are concerned about paying, simply let her know that you had already finalized plans and that she will need to pay for her own kid. She may already be planning on doing so anyway.

As for "having to include him in the party..." Letting the little one sit at the table and giving the kid a piece of cake is not going to ruin your day.

 

[badblackpug]

Have you been to CEC? Because it's SO easy to bring a sibling, and not have that sibling join the party. There is a party room, and then a public area. Drop the invited child off in the party room, and take the sibling into the public area - problem solved. The invited kids get tokens from the host, the sibling gets tokens from his/her parent. The invited kid gets pizza and cake at the party, in the party room, the siblings gets food purchased by his/her parent.

TBH, I've never, ever, had a parent try to include a sibling in a party where I would have to pay for that child, but if a parent brought a sibling to a CEC party, or any other public venue party, and they paid for that child to use the facility, I'd have no problem - it's a public venue.

More times than I want to remember! Our CEC does not have a separate party area, they just reserve certain tables. The truth of the matter is that it IS impolite to bring uninvited guests, and it is impolite to ask to bring uninvited guests. As a hostess I would find it impossible not to include the uninvited child in the party and I would feel rude asking the mother to pay for the child. If my older kids are having a party with their friends, they don't want to spend the time playing with or entertaining a much younger sibling they don't even know. I really couldn't find a way not to include the child in the party. Yes, give them a piece of cake, some pizza, but that is $15 more for a child that wasn't even invited. I couldn't watch another child sit and watch the other kids play together and party while he is off by himself. ...and if the mother is off entertaining the uninvited sibling, then she is not watching the older child anyway, so she may as well drop the child off and pick him up at the end of the party.

 

[hedgehog2owl]

so did you call her back yet?

 

[mjkacmom]

More times than I want to remember! Our CEC does not have a separate party area, they just reserve certain tables. The truth of the matter is that it IS impolite to bring uninvited guests, and it is impolite to ask to bring uninvited guests. As a hostess I would find it impossible not to include the uninvited child in the party and I would feel rude asking the mother to pay for the child. If my older kids are having a party with their friends, they don't want to spend the time playing with or entertaining a much younger sibling they don't even know. I really couldn't find a way not to include the child in the party. Yes, give them a piece of cake, some pizza, but that is $15 more for a child that wasn't even invited. I couldn't watch another child sit and watch the other kids play together and party while he is off by himself. ...and if the mother is off entertaining the uninvited sibling, then she is not watching the older child anyway, so she may as well drop the child off and pick him up at the end of the party.

I guess this is where we differ - I'd have no problem letting the child and mom go off on their own. At CEC parties, the kids don't stay together anyway, but break into small groups. If I'm going to have to torture myself at a CEC for 2 hours, I might as well get some nice mommy points and bring siblings (and not tell the host I did this, so she wouldn't feel any obligation). Last year, at dd9's CEC party, I brought her younger siblings, and watched them - I don't feel the need to tail an 8 year old at CEC.

 

[badblackpug]

I guess this is where we differ - I'd have no problem letting the child and mom go off on their own. At CEC parties, the kids don't stay together anyway, but break into small groups. If I'm going to have to torture myself at a CEC for 2 hours, I might as well get some nice mommy points and bring siblings (and not tell the host I did this, so she wouldn't feel any obligation). Last year, at dd9's CEC party, I brought her younger siblings, and watched them - I don't feel the need to tail an 8 year old at CEC.

I think it's different bringing siblings to your own kids party, you can't really impose on yourself. ...and if there is no need to tail an 8 year old at CEC, I don't even really see a need to stay at all. It is not common for parents to stay at parties for kids after 1st grade or so, around here any way. I have always been taught that it is an etiquette no-no to bring uninvited guests to a party, regardless of the situation.

 

[Familyof4lovesDW]

I recently had this happen. The mom called and said X sister would like to come too. I told her I had a limit on kids I could have and if I went over the amount it would be $10, she was fine with that and she was the child who made me go over. The stranger thing was that the mom dad and both kids came so it was not like she did not have anyone to watch the 3 year old. She said both her kids had been before and thought they would have fun. I did feel bad, but it was an expensive bounce party. Her son who was invited is 5, so at least it was not a huge age difference. I did make a goody bag and included her in all activities. So I would ask her if she wanted to pay the 14.99 or if she was planning on hanging out with him, but make him a goody bag and offer cake and make sure she was not dropping both of them off and leaving. And FWIW I have had my son invited to parties that my dd was not, from people who knew my dd, but was not in that preschool class and I would have never had the nerve to ask if she could come, it is not polite. Let us know what you do. Oh and our CEC does not have a seperate room either.