Birthday Party Question

[mom2boys77]

I posted this on the Community board but I don't think anyone saw it. I am sorry if this might be long but please help if you can! Every year I give my boys the choice of a party (with friends) or a present..my now 8 year old decided he wanted to have a party at Chuck E Cheese. We sent the invitations into school 2 weeks ago. Out of the 9 boys invited, only 4 bothered to r.s.v.p.. Anyway, the one mom left a message on the machine saying this:"Hi this is blank's mom, I'm calling to r.s.v.p for blank that he'll be at Christian's party. And if you could call me back I just have another question about my other son who is 5..I usually bring him to everything that blank's invited to since it's just me and the boys..hope that's not a problem for you. Thanks"..I would never have the nerve to just invite my other son to a party. I don't feel like I should have to pay the 14.99 for this other child that my son does not even know. On the other hand, if she just showed up with the child I would not be able to let the boy sit there and not participate. Should I say something to her or just let it go and pay for the boy? My mom thinks if she has enough nerve to invite her son to the party, I should have the nerve to tell her she has to pay for him herself.

 

[luckey-lasvegas]

It doesn't sound to me like she is trying to invite him to the party. It sounds to me like she is a single mom who doesn't want to ,or can't get, someone to watch her youger son while she is at the party. She will probably keep him occupied on her own whle they are there, but you could always be the courteous one and let him join in. At least she RSVP'd which is more than I can say for most people these days.

 

[mom2boys77]

Yes maybe that is what she meant but still I wouldn't be able to just let her son sit there and not participate. So I guess I will just suck it up and pay the money and tell her to bring her boy. And yes at least she did respond which is more than I can say for the rest of them.

 

[MSSANDRA]

Out of the 9 you invited, someone will not show up so you can consider it a "trade off". Just think of it as doing something nice for a single mom. It happens here a lot.

 

[mjkacmom]

I would call her and say "not a problem, and I have no problem watching your son during pizza and cake if you want to take your ds5 to play the games." There is no fee to enter CEC, she can feed him at home or buy him food there, and get him some tokens.

With 5, there have been times I've had to take extra kids to CEC, or similar public parties, and I don't even tell the hostess - I just pay for a game of bowling, ice skating, etc.

If she expects you to pay for a meal and tokens for her ds, she's nuts. CEC is pretty inexpensive compared to arcades - I can't see why she wants you to foot the bill.

 

[4HOLIDAYS]

If she was nice polite enough to respond and ask, not inform you, I'd say it is fine. I would make sure though that she will be there to watch the younger one, not use it for her own free time.

 

[tink1969]

I agree with the other poster who said that it doesn't sound like she is inviting her other son to the party....just that she brings him along and they hang around. It doesn't sound like she is expecting you to pay for him.

 

[acomasdiaz]

I agree that she sounds like a single mom who probably has no choice but to bring her other son. At least, she called and let you know she would be bringing him. I have known many moms to bring siblings and not let me know ahead of time.

 

[LittleMissMagic]

I agree with the poster that suggested that you call her back and tell her that it would be no problem if they came, but she'd need to pay his way. Just explain to her that you had to give them a certain number when you booked the party and that you would have to pay extra for additional guests.

 

[badblackpug]

I guess I am the only one that finds this rude. It is a serious etiquette faux pas to bring along an uninvited guest. Whether she is expecting the hostess to pay for the child or not. As the hostess said, there is absolutely no way NOT to include this child in the party. You can't just let him sit and watch the other children play, and there is no way to say to her "No, you cannot bring your uninvited son."

 

[Ericandjenng]

Actually all of the question may be a moot point...I think they have a minimum number required for b-day parties--6 maybe...you might want to check the website

 

[aussietravellers]

I have had as many as 10 uninvited siblings attend my son's parties at any one time in the past. I have always allowed them to come along and usually do up a basic lolly bag for the extras as many will say they are coming along, but then there are others who just turn up with the sibling. Never have I paid for the uninvited brother or sister and you should not be expected to either.

I understand there are single parents or maybe the other parent is working so there isn't anybody else to mind the other child or children in the family, but parents don't have to stay at a party with the other child, personally I would drop my child at the party and take the other child somewhere (home or shopping, something ) then go back, but if a parent does not want to do that, then it's always been ok for me for the sibling to stay, but I won't pay for the child's participation. It's a very tricky situation sometimes, but really you should not feel like you have to pay for the uninvited child. But maybe she isn't wanting you to pay for the little brother, but just wanted to let you know that they will be hanging around.

 

[happymommy]

When my kids were younger, I used to have other kids bring siblings along. I thought "the more the merrier" really. It's nice to spread the fun, so for just one sibling, I'd eat the cost and hope they have a fun time. It would be hard to have only one parent, or go through divorce, so if the sibling needs to come, I'd be welcome to it. At least she didn't just show up with the sibling and expect you to feed him as well; she did want to ask about it (well, maybe it was not the most proper way, but many folks obviously do not know proper manners anymore).

Also, a few days before, I'd phone those who haven't responded. Some forget (yes, I know, not polite, but still).

 

[mom2boys77]

the minimum is 4.

Actually all of the question may be a moot point...I think they have a minimum number required for b-day parties--6 maybe...you might want to check the website

 

[mom2boys77]

Thank you!!!! I was really starting to think I was just a horrible person for thinking she was rude. As for the single mother deal..I know lots of them and they don't bring their other children who are not invited. Thank you all anyway for your opinions. We ended up just telling CEC that we would have 6 kids and they said they would accomodate any extras.

QUOTE=badblackpug;35809635]I guess I am the only one that finds this rude. It is a serious etiquette faux pas to bring along an uninvited guest. Whether she is expecting the hostess to pay for the child or not. As the hostess said, there is absolutely no way NOT to include this child in the party. You can't just let him sit and watch the other children play, and there is no way to say to her "No, you cannot bring your uninvited son."[/QUOTE]

 

[mjkacmom]

I guess I am the only one that finds this rude. It is a serious etiquette faux pas to bring along an uninvited guest. Whether she is expecting the hostess to pay for the child or not. As the hostess said, there is absolutely no way NOT to include this child in the party. You can't just let him sit and watch the other children play, and there is no way to say to her "No, you cannot bring your uninvited son."

Have you been to CEC? Because it's SO easy to bring a sibling, and not have that sibling join the party. There is a party room, and then a public area. Drop the invited child off in the party room, and take the sibling into the public area - problem solved. The invited kids get tokens from the host, the sibling gets tokens from his/her parent. The invited kid gets pizza and cake at the party, in the party room, the siblings gets food purchased by his/her parent.

TBH, I've never, ever, had a parent try to include a sibling in a party where I would have to pay for that child, but if a parent brought a sibling to a CEC party, or any other public venue party, and they paid for that child to use the facility, I'd have no problem - it's a public venue.

 

[mamaLori05]

I too agree that it is rude, and I DEFINATELY wouldn't be paying for that extra child. I agree with the PP that said give her a call back and let her know that is fine if she brings her extra child, but that she is responsible for watching him, and paying for any food and tokens for him. Tell her you are on a tight budget as well and if you do it for one, you would have to do it for all and you just can't afford that.

I do get why she would want to stay, but if I called someone and left a message like that I would make sure I also said don't worry about costs for my other child. I will pay for everythign for him, but i just wanted you to know that he has to come with me, and I didn't want you to think you had to foot the bill for him. They way she worded that her other son has to come too makes me think she is telling you he's coming and you have to foot the bill, which I find extremely rude.

If you just can't say something like that, then foot the bill this time, and remember for next time not to invite that family!! I'm sure you won't be the only ones. I feel sorry for that child!!

 

[mamaLori05]

Have you been to CEC? Because it's SO easy to bring a sibling, and not have that sibling join the party. There is a party room, and then a public area. Drop the invited child off in the party room, and take the sibling into the public area - problem solved. The invited kids get tokens from the host, the sibling gets tokens from his/her parent. The invited kid gets pizza and cake at the party, in the party room, the siblings gets food purchased by his/her parent.

TBH, I've never, ever, had a parent try to include a sibling in a party where I would have to pay for that child, but if a parent brought a sibling to a CEC party, or any other public venue party, and they paid for that child to use the facility, I'd have no problem - it's a public venue.

We have 2 CEC in our area, and neither one have a seperate party area. They are all public area, they just put reserved signs on the tables for b-day parties. I do agree with you that it would be fairly easy to have the uninvited guest go and do their own thing though.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I feel sorry for that child!![/QUOTE]

And that is why I would include his sibbling. Chances are she plans to do her own thing with the younger sibbling, but it would be very nice to invite them back over to the table to join you all for cake at least. We have no idea what the situation may be with this mom. It may be the only time these children ever get to go to CC. CC can be CRAZY busy and if the mom does not know the host family she may not be comfortable with a drop off. I still say just bite the bullet and ask the child to join the party.

 

[Zeebs]

I guess I am what is considered rude, if the party is at a place I feel I need to stay and watch, siblings come along, I don't expect anyone else to pay for them, I pay, I also supply them with food. I don't tell anyone normally we just show up. (I rsvp for person invited) If it is at a place, like someones home, hired hall etc where I would still need to stay (I have young children) and there is no mention of siblings being welcome then we do not attend at all.

I am not a single mum but one who lives 5 or 24 hours away from family support. Close friends realise this and accommodate us. It won't hurt my kids to miss out on some of the parties.

Kirsten