Birthday party advice

[belle&beast]

My DD is going into first grade and was invited to a birthday party for a classmate. We will be out of town, so she cannot attend. Would you still send a gift? This is not a close friend, but I was thinking of sending a birthday card with a $10 gift card. WWYD?

 

[bkreitzel]

We have not sent gifts to classmates partys that we do not attend. We only do that for best friends, and cousins.

 

[dougsmom98]

We have not sent gifts to classmates partys that we do not attend. We only do that for best friends, and cousins.

This is what we do.

 

[Wendybird55]

I'm usually a sucker and would probably send a gift. But lately I'm realizing I spend ALOT of money on gifts - every time I turn around it's someone elses birthday, anniversary, graduation or whatever! And that's close friends and family!

I say if you don't want to begin a habit of giving gifts to your every one of your child's friends whether or not she attends their party, I would mail a card with with some fun stickers or maybe mail one of those musical cards and that would be it. If this was a close friend then the gift card would be nice.

It's a tough call - I know, but sometimes I think if we didi't have to give gifts to everyone for eveything (and we don't get any either) I would have alot of extra money to spend on things myr family really needs or wants. With all the money we spend on XMAS gifts me, DH and DS can take a nice trip to Disney! And a trip to Disney beats any potholder or frame or "I would never wear that" gift I may get.

Oh well...

 

[sk!mom]

No- I would not. DD12 gives gifts to her closest friends whether she attends or not but otherwise only gives a gift if she makes the party. There have been way too many parties over the years for me to give gifts to all. I will say though that my DD loves parties so she doesn't miss out on parties if she can help it so I have spent a fortune on gifts.

 

[belle&beast]

Thanks, everyone. I think I will probably just have DD send a card. We are just beginning this birthday party stuff and it is the first time she had not been able to go to a party. Looks like we have lotsof years of this ahead of us!

 

[nosy parker]

Just a different opinion, but I always do send a gift when my child cannot attend. It's not about affordability because I wouldn't be declining the invitation because I couldn't buy a gift. It's usually because we have other plans and cannot make it. So I figure since the friend was kind enough to invite and if I attended I would have purchased a gift, I feel we should send a gift. It's just a gesture to say thanks and in appreciation for thinking of my child in their party planning.

I think your initial thought to send a gift was the right one for you, since that was your first instinct. I don't mean to sound too "Emily Post" or anything, but it is the way I was raised and just seems the "proper" thing to do, for me anyway.

Of course I am not saying you have to. Most people do not and that's perfectly ok too. I certainly have never thought about it when a child was unable to attend my child's party.

 

[imthatgirl]

no i dont ever. my daughter has 23 kids in her class. if all of them invited her to parties and i spent $15 on each kid thats $345 on gifts every year, not gonna happen. and as soon as word got around that we sent gift without even going i can gaurantee she d be invited to everything under the sun