Birthday parties and allergies

[bridget]

I'm the parent of a daughter that cannot have gluten and I bring our own food and it isn't a big deal.

We've known these families for years and they know "safe" store bought foods because I've given them a list when they ask, but they understand that I don't want them to make something special because of cross contamination.

Something we did at my daughter's party and it was a HUGE hit was have fruit kabobs (sp)? The girls loved them!!!! In fact, the room parents at my daughter's school are really serious about food allergies and one party they brought in blenders and made fruit smoothies with ice, fruit and real juice. It was the biggest hit and everyone was so happy my daughter could participate!

 

[MSSANDRA]

So, I've come up with the food and desserts...

I am making my own bread (I usually do anyways) and forming it into large sub rolls (think subway) It is dairy and free but not egg free...I like a recipe that I used back a few months ago.
I am doing

build your own sandwiches- lettuce, REAL meat (turkey, which we're making for a meal, then we'll have leftovers same with ham), cheese (it's their choice to use or not), black olives, spinach (my girls LOVE it!!!), mayo, cucumbers (my girls LOVE it!)

Fruit tray- grapes, oranges, cantaloupe, watermellon? maybe.

Veggies carrots, celery, broccoli (my girls love it!)

Jello jigglers

chips and salsa Tortilla chips and I have a big jar of my home made salsa, it's not spicy and everything in it is good for everyone attending.

lemon cupcakes has dairy and eggs, so those kids can't eat them...It's home made and my girls requested it for their party. It's their favorite cupcake recipe and after all, it's THEIR party. They should get to choose their cupcake flavor!!! They are really light and fluffy and most kids have LOVED them in the past.

We aren't doing ice cream (we won't be at home for our party! so ice cream is difficult to do ANYWAYS!!!)

I'll get 8 doughnuts JUST for the kids with allergies. I've sent out an e-mail to the parents who have kids with those allergies and they've said that works for ALL of them...so I'm happy!

I can get 8 'dairy and egg free' doughnuts for $5 at the local bakery. They are a 'special foods bakery' and they will even decorate them with some yummy frosting. They are locally known to be the BEST for 'allergy people" and I've actually purchased many things from them before. They are great. Two of the moms that responded to me said that's where they get all of their baked items for their children with allergies. They wil be packaged up seperately and kept away from other items.

I do have training with cross-contamination and those issues. I was the assistant to the director of food services years before I became a home maker. I had to have all of that training. I think we're set.

Thank you all for your thoughts and opinions, they really have been helpful! I can't wait to try that CHOCOLATE CAKE recipe a pp listed! And the cake using soda! That sounds good too! YUM!!!

What a wonderful hostess you are! I am sure the parents will so appreciate your hard work. Some may still show up with a cupcake and that's not a problem! I would still clear all foods with parents at drop off but it sounds like you have done your homework!! Have a blast!

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

The only time I expect someone to provide food is if its a family event. If Im going to a friends party or other event I bring my own safe food cause I cant always count on anyone knowing wether or not food has sunflower oil. In your situation I would let the parents know that your serving food and what your serving so they can send an alternitive.

 

[kkandaj]

OP--You are doing a great thing by providing those donuts for the allergy kiddos. I am sure the allergy moms are loving you, just by trying to include their children. I know how much it means to me.

And I can't wait to have a bakery like that in KC! We are so excited for our WDW trip because there is a vegan/allergy friendly bakery at DTD now. This will be the first time DS ever gets to go to a store and pick out anything! I am sure I will be crying that day.

Have fun at the party! You are a great role model for your children--trying to accomodate others.

 

[Anne34]

I have 2 Lactose intolerant kids, and I that has grown out of it, and I have grown into it.

I can honestly say I wouldn't really ever think it would be up to the host of go out of the norm to bring/find/serve something just for my child.

Like a PP said, just mention something to the parents, because they obliously said something to you about it.

My kids know their limits even at ages 4 & 5, they know what they can and can't have and how much too.

Don't beat yourself up about it, but FYI Lactose Intolerant does not always = Milk Allergy, most people get em mixed, but each person has their own degree of what they can tolerat.




I think it's super thoughtful of you to even be thinking about it

Yes, my daughter is lactose intolerant and we have realised that she can take "dairy ease" or some other form of lactate pill and she is ok with small amounts. We have also sent her with other foods when she was first diagnosed since we didn't want her to feel sick at a friends party.

Just serve what you were going to serve and let the parents know what you are having for food. They can decide for themselves if it is ok for their child

 

[disfan07]

Don't worry about it. I have a child with celiac, so no gluten (ie - no pizza or cake). I either send her with a gf pizza and a gf cupcake, or feed her before the party. The only problem I ever had was when I asked a parent what time pizza would be served, so I could drop off a hot one, and she said she had some naturally gf food my dd likes (fruit, cheese, chex cereal), so I said fine, she could just eat that. The mom forgot, and my dd would never say anything, so she just watched the other kids eat pizza and cake.

Most parents with allergy kids isn't really going to trust you if you make something, because there is always a cross contamination issue. These kids are used to bringing their own food.

Thats definitely another thing to consider. It all depends on the parents comfort zone.

At 22, I still have that issue. I am anaphylactic to peanuts, moderate allergy to eggs and shellfish and mild allergy to tree nuts. I don't eat at parties at anyones house unless I know exactly what the precautions are that have been taken. We had thanksgiving at my cousins house, we had 35 family members and we asked about ingredients and I ate what we THOUGHT was safe. But about 5 minutes into my meal I had a reaction. It wasn't anaphylaxis but it was pretty bad. It was either eggs or cross contamination peanuts from someones kitchen or an ingredient.

Thats the other thing to be careful about. How serious are the allergies? For example, I am not suppoosed eat anything made in the same fatcory or on the same line as peanuts. Most people aren't aware of that restriction and its something that I dont expect them to accomodate.

So really, what I'm saying is, if cross contamination is an issue, they might not eat anything there.

Also, for the person who asked about egg free cupcakes, here in LA, we have a LOT of bakeries that have at least one variety of vegan cupcakes. We also have a few vegan bakeries. But we also have 2 babycakes NYC stores here so that is awesome as well!

 

[MomtoGKC]

That is a nice menu - the kids will all love it. My DS had a friend with tons of allergies last year. I knew his were severe so I called the mom to ask about what he could eat. For some reason he was able to eat Dunkin Donuts glazed donuts and a certain type of gum. So I got the donut for when we had cake and I put a bunch of the gum as well as toys in the pinata. I even put two packs of the gum in his pinata bag before we started in case the other kids grabbed it before him. The mom said he was very surprised and grateful, he usually just sat and watched everybody else eat.

 

[LeslieG]

My son just went to a birthday party today. He has a dairy allergy. They were having pizza, and I offered to bring his own small one with no cheese. Birthday mom said no, she already knew about the allergy from her daughter, and they were planning to order his own pizza. She read me the ingredients of the cake and icing, and I very much appreciated what she did.

 

[fall08CP]

So, any good recipes for a dairy free, egg free cake?? Hahahaha.

I don't see the humor, but I'll bite. Have you never met a vegan before?

The following are all naturally dairy and egg free and found at your typical grocery store. For the mixes, google egg alternative-- some recommend diet soda, fruit, pumpkin, dairy- free yogurt or pudding (you can buy a small packet and it's affordable).. People are creative and it still tastes fabulous.

Duncan Hines: (from isitvegan.com)
Classic Carrot Decadent Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Butter Golden Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Classic Yellow Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Spice Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Butter Recipe Fudge Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Dark Chocolate Fudge Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Devil’s Food Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Fudge Marble Cake Mix -vegan
Moist Deluxe German Chocolate Cake Mix -vegan
Moist Deluxe Red Velvet Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Swiss Chocolate Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Coconut Supreme Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Lemon Supreme Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Pineapple Supreme Cake Mix – vegan
Moist Deluxe Strawberry Supreme Cake Mix - vegan
Creamy Home-Style Butter Cream Frosting-vegan
Creamy Home-Style Caramel Frosting-vegan
Creamy Home-Style Classic Chocolate Frosting-vegan
Creamy Home-Style Classic Vanilla Frosting-vegan
Creamy Home-Style Coconut Pecan Frosting-vegan
Creamy Home-Style Dark Chocolate Fudge Frosting-vegan
Creamy Home-Style Lemon Supreme Frosting-vegan
Creamy Home-Style Strawberry Cream Frosting-vegan
Whipped Chocolate Frosting-vegan
Whipped Fluffy White Frosting- dairy/egg free
Whipped Vanilla Frosting- dairy/egg free

In addition, fruit pops, Popsicles, OREOS and most frozen apple pies are dairy/egg free as well. I don't know about peanut cross-contamination so you'll have to check labels.


Now that doesn't look so intimidating anyone, does it?

 

[adisneymama]

Don't worry about it. I have a child with celiac, so no gluten (ie - no pizza or cake). I either send her with a gf pizza and a gf cupcake, or feed her before the party. The only problem I ever had was when I asked a parent what time pizza would be served, so I could drop off a hot one, and she said she had some naturally gf food my dd likes (fruit, cheese, chex cereal), so I said fine, she could just eat that. The mom forgot, and my dd would never say anything, so she just watched the other kids eat pizza and cake.

Most parents with allergy kids isn't really going to trust you if you make something, because there is always a cross contamination issue. These kids are used to bringing their own food.

Exactly this. I have a dd with celiac as well. WE always either feed her before the party or bring our own. If you aren't used to cooking for allergy kids it really isn't safe. So many ways cross contamination can happen. You are sweet for thinking of them though!

 

[Tosie]

You're right...I guess I really should know better, since this is what we usually have to do with my daughter when she goes to my parents house or to a close friends home. She's not gone to any parties since she was diagnosed though, so it's all still a bit of a question for me. We're still 'new' at it I guess.

So, to turn the tables around- when my daughter does go to parties or a friends house...is it acceptable for me to send a few little things with her? That's a great idea and it would save me a lot of stress! I would call the parent to explain the situation of course.

I ALWAYS send safe food with my daughter. In fact she went to a birthday party today with a favorite type of sandwich (they were serving pizza) and a safe dessert to eat while the rest had cake. We always have safe things here at home so it's easy for me to pack something up for her.

I have yet to meet anyone who had a problem with it - all were very appreciative.

 

[Evi]

I don't think you need to cater the entire party around the children with allergies but I think you should find out how severe there allergies are and ensure that they would not come in contact with the foods they are allergic to. Perhaps you could serve something with the cake like maybe fruit popsicles or some kind of allergy safe cookie. It seems odd to invite someone you know is allergic and not want to serve them. Recently I was invited to a party and the host knows I have food allergies. There was 1 item that did not contain something I was allergic to. The host actually pointed out that she made sure there was one thing I could eat. I wasn't really sure if she was serious since it was an appetizer that I couldn't make a meal out of. I found it ackward to sit at a table full of other people and not be able to eat anything. I'm sure a child would feel the same and probably not be able to make sense of it all since I'm sure mom makes sure that everything at home is safe to eat. In the end if mom is ok with maybe taking the little one out to eat or come early or later after you serve food that might work.