Birthday gift/goodie bag debacle

[descovy]

Ugh...

So my dd was invited to a party today (saturday) we didn't get the invite until Thursday afternoon. A pretty good friend, lives down the street, in our girl scout troop. It was a "pool party" at their house.

Well Friday was crazy and never got out to buy a present. A little stuck on what to get the girl anyway. And I worked this morning at 7am so no shopping today.

I do keep a stash of Target gift cards in my safe, but they are in $10 increments. So my DD picked her favorite design and then created a very nice card for the birthday girl.

DD just came home from the party and in the goodie bag were candy and $10 iTunes cards! Jeebus! They gave more in goodie bag than I gave in gift.

I feel really bad now. Is there anything I can do that isn't awkward?

 

[Mimi1965]

I think goodie bags have become ridiculous-seriously-who came up with this idea anyway?

 

[Luvchefmic]

Holy Cow for that gift bag/Goodie bag..what will they give for goodie gifts for their DDs 16th birthday ...cars ? I wouldn't do another thing and not feel badly about it, or let my DD feel badly, either

 

[HelenePA]

wow I do play doh and candy... that's wayyyy too much for a goodie bag!

 

[LuvBug1977]

At my daughter's party we gave a goody bag with a pack of fruit snacks, a small themed toy and a punch balloon... about $1.50 per bag, I guess. One family brought 4 kids, so 1 bag for each kid, plus food for the kids and parent... and they gave my daughter a card with $5 in it. Oh well... they all had a blast and that's what the party was about... not how much she got in return. So, I wouldn't worry about it. If it bothers you that badly maybe you could treat her and your daughter to lunch and a movie some weekend?

 

[Hillbeans]

I think goodie bags have become ridiculous-seriously-who came up with this idea anyway?

I can't believe how fancy gift bags have become. One party I went to the hostess made up Huge sand pails with everyone's name engraved in fancy letters along with an entire bucket of stuff from the dollar store. I was actually embarrassed at the $20 gift I bought the guest.

 

[Darsa]

Sounds like someone's mommy is trying to make sure everyone knows just how well off they are! I honestly wouldn't worry about it; I think that what your DD gave is just fine, and they were under no obligation to give any kind of favor in return, so there's really no reason to feel you need to fill any gap.

 

[FoxberryJam]

I can't believe how fancy gift bags have become. One party I went to the hostess made up Huge sand pails with everyone's name engraved in fancy letters along with an entire bucket of stuff from the dollar store. I was actually embarrassed at the $20 gift I bought the guest.

This is hilarious, but you must have been at my house for this kids party! My wife made goodie sand pails EXACTLY as you describe here, and I see u are in Central NJ, which is where we are, haha!

I'm sorry u were embarrassed, but no need to be! My wife uses goodie bags as an outlet for her creative juices - she enjoyed making those things immensely!

 

[SaraJayne]

Come to my DD's party ~ I don't make goody bags!!

 

[Sugardimples]

I wouldn't give it another thought. The gift you gave was fine. The goodie bag was wacky.

 

[We_Love_Disney]

OP you don't say how old the child is. My thought is more of what age is giving out iTunes cards in a goodie bag? Do 7 year old have iPods and iTunes accounts? Or is a teenager having a party and giving out goodie bags?
So confused.

Either way, remember it's the thought that matters.

 

[pilotwife_02]

I HATE goody bags, most of the ones my boys get are full of junk that I throw out before the end of the day before it's cheap and breaks.

I try to make the "goody bags" for my sons' party useful. Last year I did plastic cups as the "bag" and filled it with a straw, fruit snacks and candy and tied a balloon on each and used them as decorations around the house. Then each kid took one as they left. While not everyone gives their kids candy I figured it was just as good as the junky plastic toys that they get and the parents can throw it away if they don't allow their kid candy, and hopefully they could eat the fruit snacks then and the cup as plastic and every one that was invited still uses the cups I gave away, usually they give them to my kids to use when we are at their house

I also just bought goody bag stuff for my to be 3 year old son's part that is next week. I am just doing paper bags this year since we are going to have the party away from home and don't want to have TOO much to bring with me. I bought hair stuff for the girls, bouncy balls for the boys, bubbles, temporary tattoos, silly bandz and candy. I figure the kids will LOVE the silly bandz the most Breaking it down it will cost me $2.50/per kid (splitting the silly bandz, not giving each kid a pack), not too bad.

 

[luvmy3]

I don't see the big deal about the goodie bag. It was a party at their house, if it was at a venue the mom would have easily spent $10 plus per child to bowl/build a bear/do gymnastics/make pottery/go to the movies etc.

OP, I wouldn't feel bad about the gift. Despite what some DISers think, not all moms who do goody bags like that are keeping tabs on what the gifts recieved cost compared to what was in the bag. Some just enjoy giving things like that

 

[HelenePA]

OP you don't say how old the child is. My thought is more of what age is giving out iTunes cards in a goodie bag? Do 7 year old have iPods and iTunes accounts? Or is a teenager having a party and giving out goodie bags?
So confused.

Either way, remember it's the thought that matters.

yes 7 & 8 yr olds have ipods or mp3 players

 

[kirstenb1]

I don't know if this is awkward...but you could take your dd and her out to lunch and to the mall. Buy both of them something fun. My older dd is 12, so fun, would be makeup or Bath and Body Works. Or you could have her over for a sleepover, and take them both to the movies.

I usually spend $20 on birthday gifts, so not sure what to advise. I know there are lots of variations depending on where you live, etc.

 

[allison443]

Ugh...

So my dd was invited to a party today (saturday) we didn't get the invite until Thursday afternoon. A pretty good friend, lives down the street, in our girl scout troop. It was a "pool party" at their house.

Well Friday was crazy and never got out to buy a present. A little stuck on what to get the girl anyway. And I worked this morning at 7am so no shopping today.

I do keep a stash of Target gift cards in my safe, but they are in $10 increments. So my DD picked her favorite design and then created a very nice card for the birthday girl.

DD just came home from the party and in the goodie bag were candy and $10 iTunes cards! Jeebus! They gave more in goodie bag than I gave in gift.

I feel really bad now. Is there anything I can do that isn't awkward?

I really don't think you should feel bad...I assume you gave a $10 gift card as that is the normal gift you would give. You didn't "short" the bday child and you shouldn't feel guilty about anything.

Here I would say $20 is normal, some give more, but if I gave a $20 gift and the favor was worth more than $20 I wouldn't feel bad. People give favors because they want to.

 

[browneyes106]

You didn't know that they were going to put iTunes gift cards in the goodie bags so you shouldn't bad feel about your gift. I think goodie/favor bags are an ok thing. It depends on the ages of the kids attending the birthday parties. For my nephews' birthday parties they are 3 and 6 we would usually give out stuff like play-doh, small bottles of bubbles, fruit cocktail cups, little coloring books and crazy straws. I have been to birthday parties for children older than that and usually the goodie bags are just candy.

As for the iTunes gift cards, I know that Costco sometimes sells the mulitpacks of the $10 cards at reduced prices. The 3-packs are sometimes sold for $20. Maybe the family bought the gift cards over time with those kinds sales or reduced prices.

Did your daughter receive more than one gift card?

 

[browneyes106]

OP you don't say how old the child is. My thought is more of what age is giving out iTunes cards in a goodie bag? Do 7 year old have iPods and iTunes accounts? Or is a teenager having a party and giving out goodie bags?
So confused.

Either way, remember it's the thought that matters.

I also wondered about the age of the child too. I know several kids that are 10-12 that have iPods and iTunes accounts that under their parents' names. My cousin has an iPod Shuffle for his 6 year old daughter but he manages it for her and usually only adds music imported from his CD's and here and there he'll buy downloads of songs she hears and likes. His daughter usually discovers music through him and he has said she doesn't always like everything he likes.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Sounds like someone's mommy is trying to make sure everyone knows just how well off they are!

Or maybe they just wanted to do something nice? I don't understand this attitude.

I can't believe how fancy gift bags have become. One party I went to the hostess made up Huge sand pails with everyone's name engraved in fancy letters along with an entire bucket of stuff from the dollar store. I was actually embarrassed at the $20 gift I bought the guest.

As another poster said, some people just really enjoy the creative aspect of things like this.

Reading too much into people's motivation when you don't have a good reason to is just going to make you bitter. OP, I wouldn't worry about it. If you normally would have spent more on the gift but just ran out of time, then plan an outing like some of the other posters have said. I truly believe that this stuff all evens itself out eventually. As long as the birthday girl had fun with her friends, that's all that matters.

 

[aprilgail2]

Sounds like someone's mommy is trying to make sure everyone knows just how well off they are! :

Cynical much?
For one of my daughters birthday parties I gave out skateboards to the boys rather than the bag of crap and these skip it things to the girls. The skateboards were 19.99 and I had gotten them at 90 percent off at the end of summer clearance so they cost me a whopping 1.99 each (cheaper than a bag o crap!) and the skip its were 15.99 each at 90 percent off they cost me 1.59 each. Certainly didn't need to be "well off" to do those goodie bags!!! The kids seemed very happy to get those instead of a bag o crap and I know the parents were happier! I could not have cared less if some kid gave a 5.00 gift and took home a 20 dollar skateboard in return- most gifts she got at that age ended up being donated anyway--how many barbies does one kid need anyway LOL...its more about being with friends and having a good time!