Just checking in from insaneville. Staying busy is survival right now. I'm sure I'll be too mortified to come back for awhile but I needed to get this out somewhere safe...

I've posted plenty that I was ashamed for people to know. But you are right, this is a safe place, and we are always here. Don't be afraid to come back. I know what you mean about trying to survive. Different reasons, but I identify with stress. Hang in there. And another

for good measure!
Morning-Skipping the good part right now as DD2 woke me up at 5:30 from a sound sleep to tell me she wet her bed! Down another pound this morning. Only .8 until I can get my 45 pound clippie back! Hoping for that tomorrow!
I see that clippie in your future! You are kicking tail, or bouncing on one, anyway! You are so motivating!
Congratulations to all our superstars this week and a big BL congratulations to our biggest loser, flipflopmom!

Taryn, I'm so impressed that you can post big losses in spite of your insanely busy life! Today I will run, tomorrow I will do 60 minutes on the machines and Saturday I will do a pilates class. That should give me my time needed for the challenge. I'm glad we have WIN! tomorrow because I want to see if I have any inch changes since the pounds changes have slowed down.
Yeah, I guess not having money for groceries is a good thing! Half-jokingly. We have plenty in the house to eat. But nothing new is coming in for a while, so rationing and not splurging, not going out, etc. is happening. Do I want graham crackers tonight, or will I be hungrier tomorrow night. You are really rocking your exercise lately! I hope that you see some big numbers.
I have to laugh, the way you said "post big losses". Gave me an idea. I'll just make something up and post it, whether or not it's true.
I have one of those meetings with my friend today. I'm hoping that I'll avoid bingeing.
Hope that went well!!!!
I LOVE the days when I am done with the workout (whatever it may be) by 7 or 8 am!! I have the WHOLE DAY ahead of me and that is BEHIND me!!I thought I had just enough time to finish up, but we had a fire drill!! When we returned to class I had to log out immediately and leave the computer lab. Secondly..... I've been struggling with my exercise and I KNOW it is because I hate the running so much, but I keep feeling like I MUST run. And lastly, I am still struggling with the same 5 pounds I gained this summer. And there are days when it seems like I am destined to NEVER lose this weight. I know it is only about 5 pounds, but it makes me feel like a failure. It is all I can concentrate on.... instead of the other 80+ that I have lost and kept off. SO STUPID, I know And I need to get off the pattern of having to spend the week trying to un-do the damage I did over the weekend and by being hungry all week because I ate ALL of my Flex points over the weekend. I know that many of you have significantly more important/stressful things going on in your lives right now, so thanks for taking the time to continue to support me and all of us here by talking with us, cheering us up, and sharing with us!! I feel immensely lucky to be involved with such a great group..P
P- First, if I don't workout before I go to work, I won't. I've come to that realization. Not a pretty one, but that's just life. I know what you mean. Secondly, I understand those last 5 becoming an obsession. I've wondered "is this the weight my body wants to be? I want it to be different." They are so hard. And the 80+ ( for you, 65+ for me) is past, and we are still striving for that holy grail number. The one we've worked for, (well, if you're like me, worked for one, met it, decided to go lower, met it, lower, etc.). You're enough like me (I think) that you like to say you are finished with something. Accomplished your goal. That little bit, not hitting that "goal" makes me feel like failure. I understand.
I get the weekend thing, too. If it helps at all, have you thought about ditching the whole "flex points used up, so I'm hungry but can't eat" thought process? I don't do WW, don't really understand it, but I just think that if you are HUNGRY, then food is the answer. Maybe your body hits a starvation mode during the week, then stores the weekend food for fear it won't get more? Just a thought. If it's true hunger, eat.
Also, I wanted to thank you for sharing your frustration. You seem so...unflappable, if that's a word. Really, like you take everything in stride, so seeing that something has bothered you makes you seem more human, real, and makes me admire you and identify with you more. You're in the trenches. I remember reading about you doing leg kickbacks on the playground while subbing one day in the spring, and thinking "man, she's dedicated. I'll never get to that stage. I'll never be that way, so I can't achieve what she has." I hope this didn't offend you, but I wanted to let you know that you letting it all out there helped me.
And, I had to laugh about the fire drill. We actually had an alarm get shaken loose from the wall b/c of construction at school, and the alarm went off DURING NAP TIME. I just KNEW it was real, b/c she never pulls one during nap. EVER. I was so scared, trying to wake all the babies up.
Our trials are our own, sometimes of our own making, sometimes as a result of unlucky circumstances, ( for me, it's a bit of both) but whatever each of us are going through, they are burdens to us. We're here for each other. That's what this thread is all about, and why I am so glad to be here!
Sorry for the book, you just touched me with your post today!
OMG!! Holey guacamole!! I've killed the thread!! Honestly.... no one else has been here for over 2 hours???

Did I scare everyone away? SO SORRY!!

..........................P

THREAD KILLER!!!
Rose – Thanks

! The 10k is on Halloween – I’m racing as Wonder Woman (blue skirt with white stars and a Wonder Woman logo tshirt over my running stuff – no leotards or high heel boots for me

!).
With those times you've been running, appropriate costume! You're going to smoke that competition!
I'm so aggravated at my Dr's office right now! I had my physical over a month ago and realized I hadn't gotten my blood test results though I did get my Pap results last week.
That's CRAZY!!!! I hope you get them soon!
I love it when I make crazy concoctions, just not when it doesnt taste good

so today i brought some spinach and dried cranberries with me to work. I got some rasberry dressing from the cafeteria. Then I remembered I had a babybel I hadnt eaten. Also I had some left over apples from my snack earlier. So presto, put all together, I had a nice big salad and not the boring one I usually have.
That sounds very, very yummy!!!!
Today's QOTD (Sorry it's late):
what is your favorite treat that is healthy for you and fits into staying on track.
Mmmm.. usually a Kashi bar kills the sweet craving. Cheese does me (string cheese) for salty usually. Tons of water keeps me on track!
Julie-WHAT A TERRIBLE THING TO GO THROUGH! Just made me want to gag. Or actually, it did make me gag. I can't image that in my house.

to you.
Rose - you are such a great mom. I love when you share your parenting techniques with your older DS. I file all this away for later!
Lindsey = glad you were in a better mood, and had a good day yesterday!
Cam- I read it while skimming, but I know you are just beaming with pride for your DS!!!! So am I!!!
Okay, so I caught up on 1 PAGE. Just one. That was my goal. We're having soup and sandwiches tonight. Big assignment due Monday for school, we'll be at VT all DAY Sat., so I am trying to chink away at it. Kids get out early tomorrow for us to have a pointless PD, and Brad was supposed to be off. Last night, he tells me that he gets to work. For the financial problems, that's a huge help. He'll actually have overtime this week, instead of short pay!!!! But, now I am scrambling at last minute to find a home for AK for that time. Mom was going shopping, AK has a gift card and needs jeans, so I think I've arranged for her to take her spelling/vocab test early, and mom will come get her early. Mom does best before lunch, and was going to leave around 10:30.
Brad told me the saddest story last night. A guy at work in his 50s died of a heart attack yesterday. His wife had passed 2 years ago. They have a 15 year old daughter with no one to go to. They were a pitiful family, no one in the family has ever strived for more than welfare or minimum wage, and the daughter is on track to rise above it, great grades, very involved. I hope this doesn't set her back. Send her some PPD. Don't know her, but feel for her.
Trying to keep my head above water, I haven't sunk yet. Maybe later today, but so far, I'm still breathing. Since I am in an emotional state, and a sharing frame of mind, and this is a safe place, I will share this. At a few points in the last few weeks, I've thought of giving up. Not weight loss, but... life. I actually told Brad I could make it look like an accident so he would get the life insurance money, and solve all the problems. Our small town has had 5 suicides in the last 2 months. It's a bad, bad, bad time for many of us. He helped me to realized how it might help finances, but wouldn't help my girls succeed in life. And honestly, that is the only thought I keep getting up for. I hate conflict. I hate feeling like I have let people down. I hate knowing that racking up cc debt has hurt us financially when things got tough.
I don't share this as a pity party, or to get sympathy. Don't feel the need to respond. I just haven't been able to get it out to anyone but him, and I needed to.
Off to do laundry, and make some chicken noodle soup and grilled cheeses for the girls. Not the healthiest meal, might add some carrots on a plate for them to have a veg. Sorry for the book!
Taryn