Big, big party for 25th or 50th anniversary?

[yoopermom]

As long as we're talking weddings....

In my family it's the tradition that for your 25th (and 50th, if you both live that long) that you have a HUGE party, I'm talking basically a wedding reception without the wedding. Catered meal, booze, music, dancing, 100s of people, etc.

I mentioned to some friends that I'm starting to save up since our 25th is in two years, and it'll be an expensive one since we'll have a party. They had never heard of this!

DH is just thrilled because he won't have to wear a tux or say any vows in front of people .

So does anyone else have big parties for big anniversaries?

Terri

 

[sbtrfly74]

My Grandparents and aunt/uncle on my fathers side did for their 50th Anniversary. The kids normally foot some or part of the bill of the huge party.

As far as my parents go they would rather go on a big trip then spend that kind of money for other people to celebrate their anniversary.

 

[maslex]

My grandparents had a big party for their 50th. DJ, buffet style dinner, big cake, etc. I threw my parents a outdoor "BBQ" type party for their 25th. They also went on a cruise to celebrate. My father-in-law and his wife threw themselves a 25th anniversary party a few years ago. It had a buffet, DJ, cake, etc. But my mother-in-law and her husband just went out to dinner, I think.

As for my husband and I, I think we're thinking of doing an Alaskan cruise. We live on the east coast. I've never been out to the west coast (he has a couple years ago when he drove his aunt out there and then stayed a few days for a visit) So I'm thinking of starting to save up for maybe doing a whole month vacation. We'll see. And if we're both still around for our 50th, I'd like to have a party. Not sure of how big but would like to get everyone together to celebrate.

 

[DWGal210]

We did this for my grandparent's 50th, about 10 years ago. It was hosted by their kids and spouses at a local restaurant. We had a nice meal, dancing, etc. I don't know that it's the norm around here; I will say I've been to more 50+ year anniversary parties than 25 years, 30 years, etc.

Funny story - - my mom mentioned having a party to my grandma, about 8-9 months before they wanted to have the event. Grandma keeps saying no, not necessary, we don't need to have a party, etc. So mom dropped it, didn't mention it again.

Then about 6 months later she did a 180 and told my mom she DID want a party after all.

Luckily the venue they wanted was still available but goodness, she certainly didn't give anyone much notice!

 

[LJSquishy]

My husband's aide of the family did this for his grandparents. His parents wanted us all to throw them a party but we didn't and they ended up going to Hawaii instead. My parents just do their own thing (as does the rest of my side).

Honestly, I think it's stupid to have a huge party for your anniversary. I just don't think it's a huge accomplishment nor something that needs to involve other people. I wouldn't want to attend some else's anniversary party. I think celebrating an anniversary is between the married couple. If my husband and I ever did anything "big" it would be a trip alone somewhere like Germany, Ireland, Bahamas, etc. My husband and I also find marriage to be easy and natural for us, so maybe that is why we aren't interested in a big party or vow renewals.

 

[SamRoc]

For our 25th we had a party here at our home at the beach. My Aunt and Uncle are Eucaristic ministers and we had the ceremony up at the beach. everyone was barefoot and we had so much fun. My daughter sang our wedding song and my aunt and uncle included our son and daughter in the ceremony taking sand from the beach and the four of us put it into a glass candle holder. they did such a nice job, we told them to do whatever they wanted! We always wanted to go to Hawaii so we had leis sent from there and i wore a Haku. It was very relaxed. after the ceremony we came back up to the house and had a party on the deck. 11 of our 12 bridesmaids and grooms were here. we had it catered with ribs and hawaiian food. and of course a keg of beer! our first wedding was very formal at Skylands manor in Ringwood. this one was more fun!

 

[SLP958]

My husband's aide of the family did this for his grandparents. His parents wanted us all to throw them a party but we didn't and they ended up going to Hawaii instead. My parents just do their own thing (as does the rest of my side).

Honestly, I think it's stupid to have a huge party for your anniversary. I just don't think it's a huge accomplishment nor something that needs to involve other people. I wouldn't want to attend some else's anniversary party. I think celebrating an anniversary is between the married couple. If my husband and I ever did anything "big" it would be a trip alone somewhere like Germany, Ireland, Bahamas, etc. My husband and I also find marriage to be easy and natural for us, so maybe that is why we aren't interested in a big party or vow renewals.

I see anniversaries as private affairs that no one else really cares about.

I would not want to attend an anniversary party.

 

[Imhere]

I've seen a number of 25th and 50th anniversary parties, but I've never seen the anniversary couple planning and paying for it.

 

[Janepod]

I've seen a number of 25th and 50th anniversary parties, but I've never seen the anniversary couple planning and paying for it.

Same. The only ones I'm familiar with have been planned and hosted by the kids.

 

[shoney]

As long as we're talking weddings....

In my family it's the tradition that for your 25th (and 50th, if you both live that long) that you have a HUGE party, I'm talking basically a wedding reception without the wedding. Catered meal, booze, music, dancing, 100s of people, etc.

I mentioned to some friends that I'm starting to save up since our 25th is in two years, and it'll be an expensive one since we'll have a party. They had never heard of this!

DH is just thrilled because he won't have to wear a tux or say any vows in front of people .

So does anyone else have big parties for big anniversaries?

Terri

no.

My MIL told my DH and DSIL that she wanted a 25th anniversary party for years before the date. So, we threw them one. It was about 50 people in a vfw - type place, DJ, buffet, bar.

We sent my parents to Aruba.

My kids will be 16 and 18 when we celebrate our 25th. We'll be lucky to get Chinese take-out from them!

I don't like parties so I would never want someone to throw me one. I do love vacations though.

I never heard of someone throwing themselves a party.

 

[cabanafrau]

I've seen a number of 25th and 50th anniversary parties, but I've never seen the anniversary couple planning and paying for it.

Who paid the bill for the 25th celebrations that you've seen? We threw the party for my in-laws's 50th, but are hardly looking for our 16 and 20 year old's to pay for a 25th for us this year. (we're not having a party ourselves, merely opting to take a nice trip.)

 

[smitch425]

I see anniversaries as private affairs that no one else really cares about.

I would not want to attend an anniversary party.

I agree. I'm not into parties for the sole purpose of saying "look at me and what I did". The only parties we throw are sports related. Lol

 

[yoopermom]

Who paid the bill for the 25th celebrations that you've seen? We through the party for my in-laws's 50th, but are hardly looking for our 16 and 20 year old's to pay for a 25th for us this year. (we're not having a party ourselves, merely opting to take a nice trip.)

You're right, at least in our own family, you pay for your own 25th, and for your parents' 50th . I felt badly for my BIL a few years ago because he had to pay for his own 25th, 1/3 of his parents' 50th, and his child's sweet 16. Ouch!

We do love our parties, though! (And we always do a "no gifts" for these, just in case anyone thinks it's an excuse to beg for $$...)

Terri

 

[Bluestars]

I think being married 50 years is a big accomplishment and I would have loved to have thrown my mother and stepfather a party, but he died after they were married 40 something years. I think it's nice when the kids throw their parents a 50th anniversary party.

As far as a 25th, I have never been to one of those. If people want to throw themselves a party, I would go if it was a close friend or relative. Personally, I would prefer to go on a cruise to celebrate my 25th.

 

[Poohforyou]

I've seen a number of 25th and 50th anniversary parties, but I've never seen the anniversary couple planning and paying for it.

I think the couple planning and paying for it is the most appropriate thing. Who else would do so? Possibly children would do so for a 50th but in most cases I can't see kids having the resources to plan/pay for a 25th celebration. My own child will only be 20 when we celebrate our 25th. Even if she planned a party it would be on our dime.

Personally I'd much prefer a really nice trip somewhere.

 

[DWGal210]

I think being married 50 years is a big accomplishment and I would have loved to have thrown my mother and stepfather a party, but he died after they were married 40 something years. I think it's nice when the kids throw their parents a 50th anniversary party.

As far as a 25th, I have never been to one of those. If people want to throw themselves a party, I would go if it was a close friend or relative. Personally, I would prefer to go on a cruise to celebrate my 25th.

Agreed. I can see the arguments for not having an anniversary party for your 25th, for example, but a 50th anniversary is a big deal, at least in our family. Plus, by that point you have probably kids, grandkids, sometimes great-grandkids and it's a good excuse to get together and see each other and the extended family. That was the case for my grandparent's 50th - my grandma is one of 7 children and grandpa was one of 12, and many of their siblings were still alive at that point. It was fun to get them all together and have a family reunion, of sorts.

 

[Imhere]

Who paid the bill for the 25th celebrations that you've seen? We threw the party for my in-laws's 50th, but are hardly looking for our 16 and 20 year old's to pay for a 25th for us this year. (we're not having a party ourselves, merely opting to take a nice trip.)

I have either seen the kids or other family members plan the party.

In one case I have seen neighbors plan a party for a significant anniversary.

I wouldn't throw myself a party where I'm the guest of honor, if I were in the mood to have a big bash I'd find another reason other than "You are all invited to come celebrate ME."

 

[skuttle]

For my grandparents' 50 the we had a big party. My grandma and her sister had a joint wedding and all of their kids paid for the party. They had a small vow renewal ceremony and then a wedding reception type of party complete with food, dancing, pictures and a wedding cake.

For their 60th, we had a smaller family-only get together.

Our boys will only be 12, 14 and 22 so they won't be planning a party! I'd rather take a big trip with just DH anyways.

 

[wgeo]

We had a party for my grandparents 70th (shoot maybe it was 65th?) and we did have to rent a room because the family is so huge, but it was a family only affair and it was done potluck style so their was very little cost.

My parents are having their 50th this year and my mother has made it "very" clear that she does not want a party of any type at all. I think they even changed around some of their timeshare/snowbird dates to make sure they were not around on the anniversary so that nobody would do anything! My mom doesn't like anyone to make a "fuss" over her.

On the other hand my MIL absolutely wanted everyone to make a fuss over her, and was mad for years that my DH and his brother didn't do anything for the 25th (the boys would have just started college at the time) so she decided to throw her own 40th anniversary party. In her words "because I'll probably be dead before we get to 50." We lived across the country, their anniversary is Jan 1st and it is very hard for my DH to travel around the holidays and we had a newborn and a 2 year old. We politely suggested a party at a different time of year and were shot down. We told her we were very sorry that we couldn't make it, so she bought us tickets and told us we had to come. So we bit the bullet and DH made arrangements at work and we flew at the holidays with little kids, each leg of every flight was delayed for bad weather and we arrived at their house at 3 AM, the kids were so messed up time wise that they slept through the entire party which made MIL very angry I'm not sure if she wanted to me to have awake crying children? I figured sleeping quietly was better. She also made me wear a corsage and told everyone that showed up that I planned the party??? It was a very bizarre experience, but for years after she talked about how wonderful it was .

My DH have decided that we are in the NO parties camp, we think we'll go with vacations for just the 2 of us.

 

[HM]

I just had my 25th anniversary at Thanksgiving time. We had my family and my husband's family (28 people total) at our house for the Thanksgiving meal (we provided the turkey and some fixings, the rest was potluck). I bought an Anniversary Cake and silver plates to serve it on. That was the extent of our celebration.

I don't see the need to spend a lot of money to celebrate an anniversary, no matter what year it is.

We did celebrate my parent's 50th by all the family going to a Resort together for two nights. We children paid for their room. They paid for a fancy meal for all of us. We also celebrated four birthdays that fell around that time.