Best way to handle harrassing phone calls? UPDATE

[Mellie2162]

So here's the deal. My dd uses her phone for an alarm in the morning so she keeps it on all night. Last night or should I say this morning around 1 am someone called her from a restricted number. She blindly answered it half awake and all she could hear were some girls laughing so she hung up. Again they called but she ignored, so they finally left a voicemail. Its kind of hard to understand what the girl is saying, but it sounded something like:

"Your music (ringback) is from the Jonas bros, that's so gay, whatever. You're in 10th grade but you act like your 5." Then the girl sighs to herself and then says "I should punch you in the face."

I called Verizon but since its restricted they cant look at it without a court order, so basically she told me there is nothing I can do about it.

This is all so petty and stupid. I guess I should just invest in a good alarm clock and just make her turn her phone off at night, but she likes to have it on because sometimes her friends text her in the morning.

 

[goofy4tink]

My 16 y/o dd isn't allowed to have her cell phone on after 9pm...way too much of a distraction. She uses her iPod and base as an alarm in the morning.
Generally, this is how I handle that type phone call...'Hello??? Hello?? Helllllooooo!! Speak up, I can't hear you. What??? I'm sorry but I can't hear you. Is someone there???. Oh well.' and then hang up. That has worked for me.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Go the alarm clock route.

 

[agnes!]

Well, it's *obviously* someone who knows her...they KNOW she's in 10th Grade, so it's not some random stranger. And they called her in the middle of the night to do something to her and it probably wasn't to be 'nice'. From before your DD's phone rang they had intent.

A couple of thoughts...
1) get your DD a tracfone, one that is pre-loaded with some $. Get her a new number, she is only to use it to call home and for emergencies.
2) Probably too late, but you DD should NOT discuss this with ANYONE, literally NONE of her friends.
3) If anyone asks about it, there's your culprit.
4) She should tell EVERYONE she doesn't have her phone because her mom turned it over to the family lawyer or the police
5) maybe have her say nothing to anyone, get her that tracfone (with an alarm) and YOU take possession of the phone. Tell your extended family what you're doing. Maybe change the greeting to "Hello, you have reached the (your city) field office of the FBI" or something similar. If someone is calling her who knows the family, they'll just call one of the other family numbers or send an e-mail. If it's these incipient mean-girls, they'll be so scared they'll stop .
6) Like another poster said, the phone gets turned off after a certain time and get an alarm.

agnes!

 

[Sgt Mickey]

I don't even think it is the phone that is the big deal. The girls sounds like they know her I would be more mad at them she has no idea who it could be? Can you change her number?

 

[Mellie2162]

Oh I absolutely think it's someone who knows her, and I have 2 suspects, but I can't make out the voice. She's actually in 9th grade, not 10th and so Im thinking it might be a couple of girls she used to hang out with who don't go to her school who she cut off because they were being mean and cruel. One of them we recently saw in WalMart with her mom and she gave us a real nasty look. Im thinking its her because she would be smart enough to block her number because the last time she called her she didn't and my husband called her mom and left a message about it. Oh well, I guess we will just go get an alarm tonight. Maybe I will keep her phone with me tonight and I will answer the call.

 

[cybrkitn]

My mom is on our Verizon plan. Unfortunately, one of the numbers she got was for someone else who used to get a lot of phone calls. And now she was getting them. I called Verizon to see if we can get her number changed and we did without a cost b/c it was getting to be excessive. But I think they will also change it without cost to you if the harassing phone calls continue.

 

[Hercules10]

A whistle or air-horn.

 

[damren]

Is there a way to block restricted numbers from coming in?

 

[Mellie2162]

Is there a way to block restricted numbers from coming in?

I don't know but the more im thinking about that message the more I think I know who it is, and if it is this girl Im thinking of she will call back again, probably tonight.

 

[Jennasis]

IF it;s a pne time thing, you ignore it. If it becomes excessive, truly threatening, etc...you file a report with the police.

 

[Jennasis]

I don't know but the more im thinking about that message the more I think I know who it is, and if it is this girl Im thinking of she will call back again, probably tonight.

So YOU answer the phone tonight...or better yet, your husband.

 

[dawson5]

I would do all three. Look into filing a report with the police, you really don't know how vindictive of a nutjob she is. Look into blocking restricted numbers, I think this is something we can do online (sprint). Then let hubby answer the phone. If she is brazen enough to do what she is doing, she will probably be bold and mouth off to hubby. She thinks no one can figure it out because of the "restricted" part. It just isn't easy. If it doesn't stop after he answers, then I would say all bets are off and pursue it with the courts.

Or if hubby answers the phone when she calls back, maybe have him tell her a little "story" about how you have gone to the police and the process you are in to get the phone number. About how when you do get the number, and you will get the name and number, how you are then going to file a police report. If the girl is old enough to know better, how the courts don't look lightly on this and they might consider her an adult and how this will effect her ability to get into colleges, loans/scholarships or even find a job because she will have a police record. Then maybe ask her if it is really worth it to screw up her life just to call and harass your daughter?

 

[Mellie2162]

After talking with DH we really think we have it narrowed down to this one girl just based on what she said to her. We are keeping the phone tonight and he is going to answer it when she calls and tell her we are in the process of tracking her number down and that we basically know who she is. In the past when he has spoken to her she has stopped calling. In fact, she hasn't called her for over a year, but if it is the girl Im thinking of she is good friends with a girl who rides my dd's bus and this friend goes back and tells her everything my daughter says.

I hate teen drama. Too time consuming and stupid.

 

[agnes!]

After talking with DH we really think we have it narrowed down to this one girl just based on what she said to her. We are keeping the phone tonight and he is going to answer it when she calls and tell her we are in the process of tracking her number down and that we basically know who she is. In the past when he has spoken to her she has stopped calling. In fact, she hasn't called her for over a year, but if it is the girl Im thinking of she is good friends with a girl who rides my dd's bus and this friend goes back and tells her everything my daughter says.

I hate teen drama. Too time consuming and stupid.

I think you generally have a good idea, but your DH probably should not engage this girl. I think he should consider keeping it simple, when the phone rings pick it up and answer "Hello?" or "Yes?" and then say nothing else. If the harasser continues the ir end of the conversation, he should keep his replies to mono-syllables...
"Is [Susie] there?"
"What?" (and keep repeating) or
"Is Susie there?"
"There is no 'Susie' here." and then hang up or
when the phone rings in the middle of the night and before your DH answers you-all see it is a 'restricted number'?... pick up the nearby air-horn and LET IT RIP.
And *then* hang up .

Don't worry, it won't wake up your DD, she's a teenager - they can sleep through anything.

agnes!

 

[Tink888]

A whistle or air-horn.

MTE

IF it;s a pne time thing, you ignore it. If it becomes excessive, truly threatening, etc...you file a report with the police.

If it was the first time it happened, I'd chalk it up to idiotic teen prank calls and not give it a second thought. If the calls became a regular thing and the threats continued, then I'd take action.

 

[jrmasm]

1) Don't answer calls from restricted numbers
2) Get an alarm clock
3) Stay out of teenage drama

 

[Disney Doll]

1) Don't answer calls from restricted numbers
2) Get an alarm clock
3) Stay out of teenage drama

Good advice.
Get DD an alarm clock and tell her if her cell displays a restricted number, to not answer.

Phone callers are looking for a reaction. Don't give them one.

If you really want to make a point, while you are ignoring the caller and she is calling and leaving voicemails, or just calling and having her restricted number recorded on the "MIssed Calls thing, actually go to the police and find out what you have to do in order to find out where the restricted call is coming from and press charges etc.

 

[agnes!]

1) Don't answer calls from restricted numbers
2) Get an alarm clock
3) Stay out of teenage drama

Good advice.
Get DD an alarm clock and tell her if her cell displays a restricted number, to not answer.

Phone callers are looking for a reaction. Don't give them one.

If you really want to make a point, while you are ignoring the caller and she is calling and leaving voicemails, or just calling and having her restricted number recorded on the "MIssed Calls thing, actually go to the police and find out what you have to do in order to find out where the restricted call is coming from and press charges etc.

These are probably the best...I mean, if it is this other girl, you guys have already read her the riot act about her 'prank' calls before...it stops them for a while, but you want it to stop *forever*.

agnes!

 

[MouseketeerOvaHere]

Just an FYI, some phones allow you to turn the phone off or place it on silent and the alarm will still sound. I work nights and people love to call me when I'm sleeping during the day. I put the phone on silent and wake to the alarm without missing an ounce of sleep.

Good luck.