HI! Ok so I have never been on a British Isles cruise because… I’m English!! Every year I look forward to the Disney ships finally being back in Europe so that I can get to enjoy the Mouse at Sea, but my Mom and I do have a giggle when they hit Dover!! As an English Rose J I can however give you some tips as to how to enjoy Blighty the proper way and let the Mouse sprinkle the Magic.
First a bit of a guide to help you survive us Brits. Tea is the answer to all problems. Carry an umbrella and have a jumper with you at all times. Never talk to someone on public transport, except the driver to say thanks. Never complain—everything is always fine. Our public transport is amazing but we will always be annoyed with it anyway. Never queue jump, we will plan your death. Customer service doesn’t really exist. And don’t call it soccer- our football, where we actually use our feet, came first (Chelsea is the best). 5pm means it’s time to go to the pub.
So Dover…. Well you should be in a place called London first dear. Unless you have a desperate desire to see the battlefield of Hastings please I beg you spend as much time as you can in London. It’s where I grew up so again I’m biased but there is nowhere quite like it. Now we don’t have the Mouse instead we have a Mr Harry Potter. The free version is to go to Kings Cross and annoy the actual commuters by posing at Platform 9 ¾. Don’t worry though even I an uptight Londoner have a photo of me in full Gryffindor drag! Or you can pay to go on the studio tour, it is amazing. If you prefer Ears to Wands though first thing’s first hop a city bus and see the sights. Buck House, the Tower, Big Ben, red busses the lot! Catch the tube to anywhere in Zone 1 and go sightsee and then go get lost in Harrods. To get away from the tourists Marylebone is a great area.
Newcastle. The nightlife capital of England, and home of the Geordies the nicest people in Britain, seriously. I go to Uni there! The Angel of the North is the only real monument. Instead it’s all about the shopping, Metrocentre is the largest Mall in Europe but a bit overrated in my option, Newcastle has Eldon Square as well. If you like booze the Botanist is hands down a must do, cocktails aren’t cheap but the views are work it and for you beer drinkers it’s all about the Newkie Brown which you can get in any Pub. Now though for the true English experience hop the train for one hour and go to York for afternoon tea at Betty’s. I would recommend Little Bettys for the shorter queue. It’s a medieval city and most of the top sights are free. Castles cathedrals the lot. Durham is also a closer option. But if you want to stay in Newcastle Quilliam Brothers is also in Newcastle itself and is a local’s favourite for tea and cakes. Alnwick Castle is also pretty close to Newcastle which is the real Hogwarts.
Scotland. Now I am and English Rose so I don’t venture North of the Wall often. However I did go see the loch ness monster as a child (yes I SOOOO spotted him). I would recommend that as well as going to see any of the castles.
Liverpool is all Beatles Beatles Beatles. Penny Lane and shopping basically. I confess I’m not much of a fan so I head to the shop instead. People from Liverpool are scouse and if you want a giggle ask them to say Chicken. For a small island, we have so many accents it’s a bit ridiculous.
As for the Land of the Leprechaun I confess I have never been. The British and the Irish are always at war as to who are the better drinkers. Ireland has Guinness though so they tend to claim that one. But a pub in either country is perfect-but avoid a Wetherspoons if you can. Order beer battered fish and chips, Steak and Ale Pie and a pint. That’s as British as it gets.
Ask away any questions. My family is American so I’ve grown up taking our American friends and family on their British travels!! Top tip number one though is bring a jumper and an umbrella, then hopefully it will scare away the rain.
