Benefits to my DH Being Laid Off

[Luv Bunnies]

My DH has been off work since last May. We're doing OK financially between my job, his unemployment payments and his severance but it's still a drag for him to be without a job. I've been trying to look on the bright side and have realized that with his extra time we've finally been getting things done that we were putting off. He was able to find us a good financial planner, made the appointments and then handled all the paperwork to get our accounts, IRAs, etc. transferred. Through the financial planner, we found a good lawyer to write us a living trust, wills, medical powers of attorney, etc. It feels so good to finally have those things in place. Both tasks required a lot of paperworks, e-mails, etc. and I barely did a thing. DH is good at that kind of stuff but just never had the time when he was working. He also trimmed an out-of-control lemon tree and found a gardener to remove a dead tree that we were afraid would eventually fall over. Now that all of those things are done, we just need to get him back to work!

 

[mom2d&b]

I understand. I have been unemployeed since November. In between job searching I have been able to squeeze in at least 1 project most weeks. I am getting caught up on many of my tasks. Hopefully I will be ahead of the "to do" list soon.

 

[Parkhopper]

That is so wonderful that you are able to find the silver lining!

Suzi

 

[3boymthr]

I totally know where you're coming from. I'm not laid off and neither is DH - BUT, my office is hurting so I've been told that if I have no work aside from filing, etc. go home/don't come in - and since I'm an hourly employee that means my time is unpaid. No unemployment even because I'm still employed.

The benefit has been that today, I didn't feel guilty when my son woke up with a sore throat and I stayed home with him and got to pamper him, didn't have to ask my mom to watch him, and I got 8 loads of laundry washed and folded and I got packed for our trip to my MIL this weekend. I felt great.

 

[mcorbo]

I totally know where you're coming from. I'm not laid off and neither is DH - BUT, my office is hurting so I've been told that if I have no work aside from filing, etc. go home/don't come in - and since I'm an hourly employee that means my time is unpaid. No unemployment even because I'm still employed.

The benefit has been that today, I didn't feel guilty when my son woke up with a sore throat and I stayed home with him and got to pamper him, didn't have to ask my mom to watch him, and I got 8 loads of laundry washed and folded and I got packed for our trip to my MIL this weekend. I felt great.

I know here in NJ, if your hours have been cut by 20% or more, you are eligible for unemployment, not sure of the law in your state, but my wife used this when they cut her from 5 to 4 days per week.

 

[clori]

dh has been home since October and due to start a short term contract job next week. It has been hard financially since I'm a sahm but we are making due for now. The good part is that dh has been able to spend lots more quality time with the kids. We both take the kids to/from school, can help with homework at a decent time if necessary etc. Since dh is home rather than at work until 6 we have been doing things like picking the kids up and going to a nice playground as a family, going to the science museum we have a membership to and on a whim once we pick the kids up, or other budget family friendly activities. Dh has gotten to attend some school events that he doesn't usually get to etc.

At first it was strange having dh home in the morning but he has since become part of our routine and in charge of breakfast. The kids are going to miss seeing dh in the morning since he will be leaving before they get up. While dh is looking forward to working at least until end of July he is a bit sad about missing his extra time with the girls. If life was ideal and things like money weren't an issue he would love to work just school hours.

 

[Mom2Ben02]

My DH has been out of work since October (10 days after we found out we were expecting baby #3 ). However, I work for BOA part time, and have been able to take on extra hours. DH finally got to come to our kids' parent teacher conferences and during-the-day performances.

We just got a note home to tell us who the chaperones will be for DS's upcoming field trip - 4 out of the 5 are dads. Unreal.

I am very very very grateful that DH will be here and get to bond with our new little one, and help me with the kids & recovering from my c-section. I do, however, wonder if both of us will survive 12 weeks of together time.

 

[ricktib]

I've been on furlough since Sept., and have been enjoying taking full advantage of things I was never able to do while working every weekend: softball, meeting up with friends, church, etc. If it weren't for the mortgage and food, I could get used to this!

 

[charming23]

I have been unemployed for about a year which is horrible I have been able to go back school. I had to leave school when my dad and got sick and I took a full time job because it was just too much to deal with so after he passed I got a small life insurance policy in my name and have been using it to pay for school.

I would love to be able to find a job as I hate living on unemployment but there is just nothing available.

 

[RIDisneyFan]

Our situation is a little different; my DH is on disability because he has multiple sclerosis. At first I was a little worried about finances (even though he does collect Social Security disability) but it has worked out okay. The up side is that he has been a stay at home dad for the past several years, which eliminated the need for day care and gave him lots of time with our 2 daughters. He can't do any strenuous work around the house, but he can do dishes, laundry, vacuuming, etc., which is a big help to me. Now I can relax and spend time with our daughters all weekend because there is very little housework left to do.

 

[mlittig]

Luv Bunnies, I really admire your positive attitude Sending you good thoughts and some pixie dust

 

[2Kds2K9]

My DH has been home since June. We have been very fortunate in that we have saved over the years and that he got a one year severance package. He was with the same company for 25 years.

It's been kinda nice as I'm fortunate enough to be a SAHM. We've gotten a lot of the chores done like cleaning out attics and closets. Have done a lot of yard work that's been put off as well. He's taken up cooking and does most of it now, which is great. He's been able to become more involved with the kids which they are loving it as well. It's nice that he's able to do car pools and be at all their activities now. We've even been able to be newlyweds again.

We are at the point where one of us needs to find a job to help pay for health insurance. Our current policy will be up in June. I've been putting my resume together and it looks like I might be the one who goes back to work. Fine with me. DH is very capable to handle the day-to-day stuff at home and the kids as well.

Yes, I've looked on the positive side to all of this. There are negatives, but I'm not dwelling on those. I'm waiting for God to open up that other window since he shut the one door.

Have a good one!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Luv Bunnies, I really admire your positive attitude Sending you good thoughts and some pixie dust

Thanks!

 

[disneymarie]

My DH has been off work since last May. We're doing OK financially between my job, his unemployment payments and his severance but it's still a drag for him to be without a job. Now that all of those things are done, we just need to get him back to work!

I so wish while my dh has been off since a year ago he picked up slack, did some paper work, house work....anything. But, I did find him a watch person security position to keep spending money in his pocket and offset some medical coverage cost.
Mentally he had to do something, this is only Fri and Sat nights, but he will start soc sec in June and that will help.

I hated when, or still does sleep all day, get up from 3pm to 10pm and go back to bed, THEN announce out the bedroom door he needs socks in the laundry. I hate having mega stress worries, try to think of which bills can slide until the next week, etc.

THere no longer is a schedule. He should have maintained getting up, doing chores, take the slack from me.....
But, I am hoping your dh keeps helping with the paper stuff and finds a good fitting job too.
good luck to your family,

 

[PammieJ]

I agree...making the lemonade from lemons is the key to getting through a stressful period. My DH is an ironworker and has been unemployed off and on for nearly 17 months. Currently working 2-3 days a week, but I bet it's another year or more before he is able to depend on regular hours.


Beginning when he was initially laid off (December 2008), we drew up what we lovingly call a 'honey-do' list, and he completed every item. Having a plan of something to do every day helped him feel like he could set goals and achieve accomplishements. All those jobs around the house have been completed, and he even initiated (and completed) some other projects that weren't on the original list. (landscaping the yard, making some tables for our campsite, and taking some college courses) He also kept a regular schedule; getting up when I did, getting to the gym, planning and preparing meals. After 14 months of no work (other than a 7 week stretch last Sept.), he was starting to feel bored and panicky, but continued to have a purpose every day, and is feeling positive about his future (he's continuing with college). When he went for his annual physical, his doctor commented about how well he was doing with his routine and keeping busy, since depression is the number one side-effect of job loss.

I'll admit, we don't have the horrendous money problems that some of his co-workers have with stay-at-home wives, but it's a big ego crush for men to lose their jobs, particularly for the over-40 men, not matter what the financial situation is. I'm just happy that he's doing well, and very thankful that we are getting through this.

 

[randyolson]

Actually having your husband stay at home is a huge advantage especially if you have kids. They are bonding so much better now. Earlier he was just an authoritarian figure to the kids who was traveling most of the times. I love to see them all go for a swim together or DH read to kids at bedtime. Sure makes the home a more relaxed and cheerful place to be in.

 

[ilovemonk]

My husband was laid off for a while, too, and got hired recently. I do miss the days that he was here with the kids and I, like attending school events, waking up together, and going grocery shopping together. Oh, not to mention getting on my nerves sometimes.

He was stressed out, though, because we were living on only my salary and some unemployment. That didn't go very far, but we survived. That's another silver lining, too. Now we make better use of our resources. Before we lived below our means, but now even more so.

Wishing everyone well in their quest for employment... I know it's hard in these times.