Being misunderstood on this board...

[nedleycan]

Have you ever been misunderstood on this board? I have. I was once asking a question, and also making a point, and I got 2 nasty responses calling me a snob and making fun of me. I also got one response from someone who understood me and was quite pleasant.

Please!!!! Before you respond to someone's comments, think about where they are coming from, what they are actually asking and whether you can help them. We are all different, with different points of view.

As my mom always said "If you have nothing good to say, say nothing."

 

[imgoingtodisney]

Hi - hope it wasnt me - my mouth/words have a way of getting me in trouble

 

[nedleycan]

Barb,
Of course it wasn't you, and actually it didn't concern me much and I didn't take it personally, but someone who is weaker than me would have been upset. I was asking questions about the kind of people who go on Disney Cruises and were their children well behaved. Well, I was called a snob and asked "since you don't like kids, why did you choose Disney." Anyway, I guess there are some people who don't quite "understand" where others are coming from. I am not mad, or upset, just thinking about how e-mails and messages on these kinds of boards can get so misunderstood.

 

[Boo]

My mom always said if you don't have something nice to say, come sit by me Just kidding, it's my favorite line from Steel Magnolias. I agree, it's hard to know where people are coming from when you just read a quick impersonal note on a screen. Better to just give people the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Chattyaholic]

Not sure I have ever actually been misunderstood on the boards, but I know people have disagreed, and sometimes rather strongly, with my opinions. But that's okay, that's what the boards are for. We don't all have to agree on what's "good" or what's "bad." And I've always found it so interesting to read a "good" review of a cruise and a "bad" review of the exact same cruise!! It just goes to show that people perceive things in different ways, one is right for them, but not for another.

 

[imgoingtodisney]

Actually yes I do understand what you mean. Maybe it happens to everyone at some time or another. I think I read the instance you are referring to.
People dont agree with what I have to say about DH & the pants issue among other things. Sometimes their disagreeing comes out stronger than other times.
But you know this is only a discussion board and everyone is free to voice their opinions as long as there is no name calling.

Now when I meet people in person they better be nice- just kidding - looking forward to meeting you and having a nice cold tropical drink (hey I just stopped for 4wks and have 8 more to go, I'll be more than ready)

 

[nedleycan]

I am looking forward to meeting you too Barb... and of course having the drink!!!! I know what you mean about your husband and the shorts issue. Everyone started analyzing you and your husband. I stayed out of it.... haha.... I guess I am a chicken!

 

[MelissaE1]

Nedleycam,

Thanks for the reminder about paying attention to how things come out. I know on one question I asked that I thought was relatively benign received a strong response or two, one of which I took a tad personally (sometimes I do that when I shouldn't).

I can also be very opinionated about some things myself and I like what you said about thinking about where the person is coming from and whether you can help.

This is such a wonderful board with wonderful and diverse people, and I feel lucky to have found it. Thanks again for the reminder to think before I type.

 

[taswira]

I know I am often misunderstood because I tend to "<I>Open mouth, insert foot</I>" and then it's too late. Any of my statements which incited undesirable responses were due to me being an obsessively "by the book" and "Rules were <I>not</I> meant to be broken" person. That's just ME and how I was raised. It's a little late to change my ways. If someone asks a question, I state the answer "According to the rules" or the "official word." That is then sometimes misinterpreted as a personal attack. That is NEVER my intention. We all have things we feel strongly about. I would hope none of us intentionally say hurtful things here on the DIS. And <I>many</I> of us <I>are very sensitive</I> people, myself included.

 

[ncligs]

For the weak at heart, don't ever wander over to the Debate Board..

 

[nedleycan]

You are really great!
What is the debate board? I don't think it would bother me, if I knew I was on a debate board. I really enjoy a good debate. I guess I think of Disney as so Family/Child friendly that when someone attacks when you aren't attacking in the first place, you are kinda taken aback.

 

[ncligs]

Here you go...........

http://www.disboards.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=49

 

[nedleycan]

I don't think I would like to get involved in this. At work, my team has a great time debating, but it really helps when you can see if someone is smiling, laughing or truely upset. Debating on-line could cause lots of problems... IMHO! haha

 

[disfanatiks]

I hope that I have never offended anyone. I kind of have that "stick foot in mouth" disease as well. I have come to learn after being on the boards for a couple of years that written posts do not always come out the way they were meant.

Now debate board.....Yikes!!!! I have to watch myself over there.

 

[wovenwonder]

Don't forget to check out the community board too! It is a nice 'family' over there -- but sometimes [many times actually] you have people upset over others comments. It is still a very nice group of posters over there for the most part!

 

[BabySam99]

The only thing I have been subjected to was a couple of pompous answers to my questions or no reply from the person I directed my question/response.

I look to these boards as answers to my questions and to maybe make a couple of friends along the way. It's nice to chat with people that have the same intrests as I do.

Most everyone I have had the pleasure of meeting was kind, curteous<sp> and all in all very helpful.


Kim

 

[Mjasp]

Like I stated in a previous post, people often take anything you say negative about DCL as a personal attack as if they own Disney themselves. I think I remember your post. Glad like you said you didn't take it personal.


Joanna

 

[Tinkerbellfan]

omigosh, I just have to reply to this. I am sure I was part of the thread nedleycan is referring to. Please people, read her post on this thread.
First of all, I can't help but wonder why nedleycan would dredge this up now when the post had died out over two weeks ago. I am not trying to start trouble here and maybe Buckeroos dad did come on a little strong, but I too, was offended by nedleycan's post. What was there to misunderstand? I think Buckeroos dad and I felt as if nedleycan was too worried that us Disney cruisers are a bunch of classless folks who don't have the sense to follow a dress code and who knows what the heck we might do!
I simply responded by asking why DID she choose Disney if she felt this way and that perhaps she should go back to Windstar Cruises since they were more suited to her "new standards". To me, the line 'if you have nothing good to say' should have applied to nedleycan's original post. I don't feel Buckeroos dad was "attacking" nedleycan as she said he did, I felt he was defending all Disney cruisers who happen to think we are a great bunch! Something tells me perhaps some of us were cheering him on since he was the only one that had the guts to express his feelings.
Please read her post:http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?postid=2401718#post2401718

Here is what she said in case the link does not work. You read it and tell me if some of you don't feel a bit put off.
Here it is - originally posted by nedleycan:
******Do the Windstar Cruise! You will love it. Our problem is that the only cruise we have ever done is Windstar, and it was so elegant and well done, that we are nervous that Disney won't meet our "new" standards. It looks to me like the rooms are great, the food is great, the service is great, but one thing that we loved about Windstar is that there is nothing (and nobody) tacky about it. There are no announcements, no set dinner company or set table that you must sit at. You don't have to dress up (in fact it is discouraged) and everyone who was there was nice, upper-middle class, well behaved people. Not having a dress code didn't result in one single person wearing shorts to dinner... everyone just knew how to behave. We are afraid that adding children and some loud people (sorry, but I am imagining that "Disney People" are more energetic, which could result it loud and tacky) will make the cruise less "our kind of cruise".
I hope I am not sounding like a snob, we just enjoy the finer things in life and expect people to behave and have class... okay, I sound like a snob... don't hate me!*******end of nedleycan's post.

 

[Tinkerbellfan]

Hi Joanna, I would just like to say that nedleycan was actually focusing on the people she thought might be cruising on Disney with her, more so than the cruiseline itself. It did seem somewhat personal to some of us.

Sorry if it appears as if I am arguing, but I hope that defending DCL cruisers when someone is worried that we might not be "up to par" is allowed.

 

[TnRobin]

As you can see, comments can be taken the wrong way on both sides of this equation. In a place where communication is limited to written words and lack face expressions and other body language many phrases can be taken out of context.

This thread is off topic, but a good reminder to us all to read what we write twice before we hit the Submit button. Now before this thread opens up a healing wound, I am locking it.