Being financially responsible sucks sometimes.

[SplshMtn99]

Its hard to want something big REALLY REALLY badly. But to know in the back of your head, that financially, its better not to, and just stay with what you have.

Its hard to see family & friends around you who you know cannot afford that item, but they all get them anyway. Even if it means by borrowing well beyond their means.

Its hard to know in the long run, you'll be better off (hopefully) than they will later on in life.

Its hard to sit back & watch them receive assistance from parents, but you don't get any (from same parents).

Maybe we should become financially irresponsible & just get what we want. Then maybe somebody will give us some money.

Meanwhile, they are all happy. And we are not.
I hate being financially responsible.

 

[SwedishMeatball]

Don't assume they are happy just because they have material things and put on a happy face in front of you. If they've bitten off more than they can chew, who knows the stress that puts on them. You have your pride and peace of mind and that is far more important in my opinion.

 

[Miss_Nellie]

I know what you mean. My neighbors and my sister are always going on and on about the new thing(s) they just bought, the fancy restaurant they just ate at, the sports event they just bought tickets too and here I am, buying very little and wishing for a trip to WDW this year.

I just keep looking at my shrinking amount of debt though. It won't be too much longer and all I'll owe is my house and then I can have whatever I want when I want it.

As for my sister and neighbors, they'll still be paying off their TVs, multiple vehicles, boat, meals, and whatever else long after me. I know they borrow because they also tell me how they got a great rate on their loan and credit cards.

Anyhow that's their business but it does sometimes feels like they're rubbing it (all the new stuff) in.

 

[hopemax]

Yep, it does suck. We are saving for our DCL trans-atlantic cruise right now, but it means that we have to be really good with our monthly finances. We've cut back to eating out only once a week, and not buying whatever when we feel like it so we can have it all paid off before we go. The other day, I was in Target and I had things in my hand that were on clearance and I had to be really strong and ask myself, "Do I really need this?" And then I went to the electronics department and there was one Wii left. We are planning on getting one after the cruise, but there it was, and I know so many people would pick it up and charge it and deal with the consequences later. I ended up leaving the store purchasing nothing, which should have been a victory but just me feel sad. I know come May, I will have something to "show" for all this discipline, but right now it feels so far away.

DH and I have been mostly good with our finances, no CC debt, just car loans which the first one was paid off a year early and we're on track to do the same with the second. Which helped with the stress level, both times DH got laid off.

Right now, the biggest thing is balancing my love of travel with my desire for a house. So I've started thinking of this cruise as the last hurrah, before buckling down and saving for the down payment. This saving crunch is actually a good test on how well we can do in addition to our normal saving routine. The idea of not going to Disney for 2 or 3 year bums me out big time. If I think about it logically, it shouldn't though. Growing up, we only went to Disney once every 5 years. I blame the internet for this though although its just the ol "keeping up with the Jones," in digital form. It's more fun being part of the gang that just visited or will be visiting soon.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

My ex-DH (and trust me, the "D" does not stand for "dear") pulled up last week in a brand new Range Rover, is building a $500k house (which is a helluva lot here in Houston) and had the you-know-whats to tell my DD16 that he had to drop her vision/dental insurance because he can't afford it!

All I can say, is at least I'm not trying to be something that I'm not. And I'm happy with that. Aren't I???

I am, right???

 

[Vivianne]

Sometimes I feel like throwing caution to the wind and splurging but then I remember that I want to sleep at night. That doesn't mean we deprive ourselves of everything. Just that we make sure we don't lose ground our financial stability.

The grass looks only greener on the other side. What you may really be looking at is astro turf.

 

[DISUNC]

All I can come up with is....

Slow & Steady wins the race!
and
Count your Blessings!

Dont feel bad about it...yeah you would like to SPLURGE from time to time. If you do want to SPLURGE make it like $100.00 Splurge!!!! this way it isnt a whole lot of $ gone...and if you are creative....you can do alot w/ $100 bucks!

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

Sometimes it's really hard. The water pump in my car went out. I'm having to pour water in the radiator every time I want to drive somewhere. This morning at my son's daycare, as I'm pouring water into the radiator of my 1992 car, a woman pulls up, dressed to the 9's in a nice Jeep Cherokee, and marches in with her perfectly dressed daughter and proceeds to run her daycare assistance card through the machine. (government assisted daycare)

I'm forking out full price. I know you can't judge a book by it's cover but it's hard not to feel resentful sometimes.

 

[miss missy]

Hey you! Hiya!!!


ITA, it is hard! Specially if your the only one around you doing it! But you know its the right thing to do You know you will be better off for it!

I don't need no stinking big bills for material things. Just not interested. But I also like to do what I want and I do. I am just happy to be a simpleton!!

 

[SetzKitten]

but then I remember that I want to sleep at night.

This says it all. Peace of mind is worth more than any object you can buy.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

and I don't want to be a 68 year old woman really hoping that next year the government raises my Social Security check enough that I'll be able to afford name brand cat food for dinner.

 

[annegal]

My ex-DH (and trust me, the "D" does not stand for "dear") pulled up last week in a brand new Range Rover, is building a $500k house (which is a helluva lot here in Houston) and had the you-know-whats to tell my DD16 that he had to drop her vision/dental insurance because he can't afford it!

:

What a friggin JERK!!!!

On the other hand.......DH's sister has always lived beyond her means...nothing fancy at all, just charged everything. She now has a huge 2nd mortgage, re-consolidated it a couple times& is in hock until she is 75(she is 53)...with no savings at all & a new husband who is only capable of manuel labor.

 

[mickeysgal]

and I don't want to be a 68 year old woman really hoping that next year the government raises my Social Security check enough that I'll be able to afford name brand cat food for dinner.

If Social Security is even available by then.

Yes, peace of mind and being able to sleep at night are priceless compared to managing the debt load because of a shiny new vehicle thats going to get dinged in the Target parking lot. Or the mcmansion that has no furniture in it, or worse, all on credit. No thanks. But thats just me. It may work for others, but not us.

 

[poohandwendy]

I find happiness in knowing the things I have are paid for with my own hard earned money. I find freedom in financial responsibility. I guess it's all in how you perceive it.

And remember, when someone else foots the bill, you have invited them into your financial business.

 

[NMAmy]

My ex was a spender and it drove me crazy. I'm so happy that DH and I are on the same page.

For me, I'd much rather do without stuff I don't want or need and not have to worry about which bills I can pay this month. And now that our savings account is very healthy, if something breaks (like a car or household appliance) we can get it repaired with no hesitation. I find it much more satisfying to save for what I want or need and just walking in and paying cash for the item.

Those lean years are hard. But just think about the future when you'll be so much more secure than someone who is still paying for items they don't even own anymore.

 

[Poohnatic]

I'm with you.

My MIL and SIL moved 30 minutes away last year. MIL bought her house in NY in 1950, so she made a nice profit. My hard time isn't that they're spending beyond their means, but anything I even talk about wanting to do/buy when we do have the money seems to 'magically' become one of their wants.

*I wanted a fence for my yard, voila a week later they're getting one.
*I talked about putting a murphy bed in my front bedroom, boom they get one.
*Ed and I say how we'd love to do the Disney Cruise for our 10th wedding anniversary and all of a sudden, they booked the cruise
*Ed and I talk about wanting to build a pool-theirs was just finished last week.
*We decided to get Busch/Sea World AP's since it's monthly pay and all of a sudden, they did it, too

Yeah, I'm basically a happy person, but it smarts when we talk about our wish list, they hijack it and do everything on it! We'll probably put up the fence with this year's tax refund, but we're about 5 years away from any of the others.

It's a pain being responsible.

Suzanne

 

[Fitswimmer]

One trick that has really worked for me is to partition my money in such a way that there is always a little left for a little splurge. I keep a little bit of each paycheck for me after savings and bills. Sometimes I use it, sometimes I make a splurge fund of several months to get something more expensive. It means that I can't let my bills get too high, or I'd lose my splurge money-so that stops me from going nuts with credit. I find I'm really not as tempted to charge when I know that in a few weeks I can pay cash for whatever it is I want. I actually learned it from the Weight Watchers points systems. I treat my money like my food points. When I get a tax refund or a bonus, I divide the money the same way. Savings, pay extra on bills or improvements to the house and splurge $$.

Going draconian with spending and never even doing a little nice thing for yourself can set you up for a binge. Just like drastic dieting can make you go nuts in the pastry section. The key to eating and spending is balance! Sure, you can have a dish of ice cream, it's when you eat the whole carton that you get into trouble.

 

[agnes!]

I'm with you.

My MIL and SIL moved 30 minutes away last year. MIL bought her house in NY in 1950, so she made a nice profit. My hard time isn't that they're spending beyond their means, but anything I even talk about wanting to do/buy when we do have the money seems to 'magically' become one of their wants.

*I wanted a fence for my yard, voila a week later they're getting one.
*I talked about putting a murphy bed in my front bedroom, boom they get one.
*Ed and I say how we'd love to do the Disney Cruise for our 10th wedding anniversary and all of a sudden, they booked the cruise
*Ed and I talk about wanting to build a pool-theirs was just finished last week.
*We decided to get Busch/Sea World AP's since it's monthly pay and all of a sudden, they did it, too

Yeah, I'm basically a happy person, but it smarts when we talk about our wish list, they hijack it and do everything on it! We'll probably put up the fence with this year's tax refund, but we're about 5 years away from any of the others.

It's a pain being responsible.

Suzanne

I think I would quit sharing my heart's desire with these people. While they might not mean to be rubbing your nose in it, it's time for them to start getting their OWN dreams.

Now you & Ed snuggle up tonight, have a romantic chat about some special dream and don't tell your relatives. THEN when you:
redecorate your living room
get that new-to-you car
get a brand-new hairstyle
or *whatever*...

you'll have the satisfaction of achieving your dream (however small, however big) AND having it be a COMPLETE surprise to the relatives .

agnes!

 

[binny]

oh yeah been there not on my side but DHs. It stinks and Im sorry.

 

[agnes!]

My ex-DH (and trust me, the "D" does not stand for "dear") pulled up last week in a brand new Range Rover, is building a $500k house (which is a helluva lot here in Houston) and had the you-know-whats to tell my DD16 that he had to drop her vision/dental insurance because he can't afford it!

All I can say, is at least I'm not trying to be something that I'm not. And I'm happy with that. Aren't I???

I am, right???

When that lovely young lady is a mature adult and DOD(Dear? OLD Dad) wants to have a relationship, who do you think she will willingly help?

And whose nursing home will be nicer...YOURS or his ?

agnes!