Being a grown up is no fun....(long)

[la79al]

Okay, I made our WDW ressies last summer without telling DH. When I told him in the fall, he wasn't too excited (I may have overplanned last trip, thus turning him off to Disney ) but said that we could keep the plans in place. Then a couple of weeks later, he agreed that we could go. Then we got into a custody battle for DSKids and he decided that we could no longer do WDW. I was not happy but pretty much accepted it. Then the trial stuff started to subside and DH said again that we could go to WDW. I was excited and got into the planning even more. I even got DH to talk about what he did and did not want to do on this trip. Well, then DH got demoted. Not a terribly huge deal because we can still more than pay for our bills and were planning on using tax money to pay for WDW anyhow. So now DH is still determined that we can go to WDW as planned. AND I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA!!! His theory is that if we don't go now, we won't be able to go again for at least 5 years (We are planning on a baby within the next year and we both refuse to take a baby/toddler to WDW). In 5 years, DSD will be way over the princess stage and DSS will be too cool to go to WDW with his little siblings. My rebuttal to this is that it's true but DSS and DSD went with us in 2005. My theory is that even doing a cheap ($3000) trip results in less money for things we need (new car, months worth of wages so DH can spend a month in training, etc). DH's rebuttal to this is 'true, but even if we don't spend the money on WDW, there's no telling what the future holds anyhow'. So now I don't know what to do. Of course I would love to go to WDW as planned. DSD is in love with the princesses and Tinkerbell and we have ADRs for the castle so that will be awesome. The kids don't even know about the trip so that is not an issue. I guess part of the problem is that I feel that DH is agreeing to WDW just for me and that bothers me. Now he has gone to bed and told me to figure out what I want to do with Disney. What I want to do and what I think we should do are two different things and that is why being a grown up is no fun!!!

 

[Oceana]

Live for today!!!! You may not get a tomorrow

and baby plans and ideals and what you think you wont do... all change with reality

I do all kinds of things I said I wouldnt do with babies/toddlers... lotsa people go to have those babies and never get them... or get something they had not expected... I know very few who get what they want and do what they had initially expected too

Live for today./

 

[AngieWin]

We did a trip with my dsd and dss the year before my first son was born and it was a wonderful trip. If you go you wont regret it.... but if you dont, would you wish you had? Your stepkids are only young once too.

And Disney with a toddler/baby is fun too!!

 

[PrincessBelle39]

And Disney with a toddler/baby is fun too!!

Have to agree. Haven't done WDW but did DL with an 11month old and 3 year old. What a fantastic time we had. Both of them loved it and it amazes me how much the 3 yr old (now nearly 5) remembers. But even if she didn't remember it. I have fantastic memories of them in the parks and some beautiful photos.

 

[meandtheguys2]

If he is doing it just for you, thank your lucky stars that you have someone who loves you and wants you to be happy. My opinion, of course.

OTOH, I love taking babies, toddlers and preschoolers to Disney. So my opinion may not be worth much!

 

[mdsouth]

Peter Pan had the right idea. Being a grown up is hard.
I can see both sides of this issue and know it will be one that you have regrets with either way you choose. If you do go ahead as planned, and then struggle later financially, then you will look back at the trip with regret.
I had to cancel a trip once due to similiar issues. We were able to take a trip to WDW a few years later.
But then if you don't go, then you will really wish you had, especially since kids do grow older each day.

That being said, could you reduce the amount you will be spending on the trip. For example, if you had planned for a moderate resort, you may want to consider value or off-site. You may want to consider dropping a day as well. What about eliminating park hoppers or the water park if you planned to do that. Plan on Counter Service meals and the one meal at the castle, if you do this, it might be less expensive than the dining plan if you are planning on using it. Check out the menus available with prices to see how much you can reduce your eating budget.

Good Luck in your decision!

 

[brymolmom]

I, too, have been grappling with the WDW decision for August. We went for free dining last Sept and kept saying 'ds will be starting K next year and we won't want to take him out right away, so this will be our last year of Fall trips for awhile'. THEN, dh had a conference in Orlando for work last month, so the kids and I tagged along (only 3 total days at the parks tho for that one). NOW, with rumors of Free DIning, I'm seriously considering going again...but am getting guilty about it. Yes, we can afford it - but the $ could be put into college funds...retirement funds...new roof funds (which we will be getting in the next couple months).

I keep going back and forth - I LOVE the ages my kids are right now - would be 5 and 3 on the trip. And if Free Dining comes out - it is such an INCREDIBLE deal (and I'm a bargain shopper!). And I keep saying 'they're only these ages once'. And 'who knows what our situation will even be next year'. But the guilt keeps creeping in...

I think in my case we will likely do it if the deal is announced. If not, I'll use that as my excuse not to go.

I think you need to be comfortable with your choice either way.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Princess Roo]

I think that as long as I didn't have any other debt (not counting house or reasonable car loans), I would take the chance and go to Disney and just try to cut back a little like mdsouth suggested. You can save a lot just by eating breakfast in the room, for example. Also, cutting back on eating out or other little things at home that add up.

 

[fuji]

I love going to Disney with my kids ages 12, 7, 18 months. If the money is not the end of the world and you can bring a smile to the kids faces(that gets less every day).
It sounds as if they will have a rough road ahead and a fun trip may just do some good for all of you. I know that when I'm in WDW I'm not thinking about anything but the moment and it's truly refreshing.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would go on the trip. It's not like going will put you in debt or make you destitute. Sure we can always not go on vacation and save every dime but personally I think there is more to life than that. We save for our future and our kids and we save for emergencies etc. Vacation to us is a necessity (sp?). I think you will regret it if you don't go. I do have a question and it is not that I am trying to be rude or anything, but if it wasn't your step children and it was your bilogical children would you feel the same way? It sounds like you really love them but I was just wondering.

 

[I'mNoPrince]

It really sound like you guys are in for a long haul. I think DH relises that this is a needed trip before things start to get worse with the custody battle and his demotion.

Go now have no regrets about it ,it's not like your taking food off the table to do so.

Without my Trips I just see no point in working hard all year just to work. I need a good escape or I would not be a nice person to be or work around.

 

[TAKitty]

I second the live for today, and I have been in your very situation with thousands spent on the process.

We too are in the planning for a baby stage, but that hasn't gone as quickly as I would have hoped. I love Disney so much and have seen so many tiny babies at Disney that I have changed my mind about going when the baby comes--babies are free too!

Anyway, live for today unless that means you can't eat or have a home etc.

By the way, after the last legal battles I purchased DVC! It was my DHs way of thanking me for all of the financial and emotional struggles we have had to endure. You never know what the future holds!

 

[labst60]

Just chiming in that it was **no problem** taking a baby/toddler to WDW. DD has been 4 times so far in her short 2 year life (trip 5 is next month) and we are already planning a trip for shortly after when DC#2 is born!

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

If you guys already have some saved money, I say..live for today as well!

YOu never know what will happen tommarrow. Life is about memories with family and friends. And ENJOYING life. It's not all about saving, bills, and new cars.

I am sure you guys will be fine. You said your bills were more than taken care of anyway, and he didn't get FIRED, just DEMOTED!
Be happy for that and celebrate at DIsney World.

(smile)

 

[Gillian]

Just remember that under 3 kids are (mostly) free!

We took DD at 2 yrs 10 months and she had a blast. DS went twice when he was 2 and both were wonderful trips. DD also went to Universal at 11 months and had fun, although she doesn't remember much of it, I think it's just less memorable for that age group than Disney, because DS still talks about it.

The only thing I'd personally avoid if possible is taking a heavy baby who can't stand or walk yet.

 

[bumbershoot]

I say go, since you don't HAVE TO use your tax return for anything else. From experiences the last 7 years, I know you never know what's going to happen tomorrow, so if you CAN do something you SHOULD.

We took DS to Disneyland at a year and at 2 years, and it was incredibly FUN. First year he was in the mei tai all day, and it was great. Last year he was on my back in the Ergo and in the stroller a little bit (we aren't big stroller users), and it was fabulous. And he was FREE.

This year we'll pay for him and it will still be great!

Each year we've hoped I would be pregnant again, but it hasn't yet happened (crossing fingers for this year that I won't be able to do any of the coasters, wish wish wish). If we'd NOT gone, because we figured I'd be pregnant, we would have had very boring years...

7 years ago my mom died suddenly, and all my future plans for the two of us were gone, just like *that*. Last fall (right after our Disneyland day while visiting San Diego) my FIL took ill, and he died at Thanksgiving. Like *that*, all our future DH-and-FIL-will-have-a-better-relationship-and-we'll-go-on-trips-as-a-family plans were GONE forever. Life comes at you fast, as the ad says...so if you can do something now, do it.

(and reconsider the baby/toddler thing. )

Good luck with the custody stuff! As a twice-over stepdaughter (though there was never a true custody issue), I figure that stuff must be hard!

 

[la79al]

Well after getting a $12,000 tax bill (our accountant thinks it is a mistake and is working on fixing it) my DH has agreed with most of you and says at this rate, who knows what tomorrow will bring. Therefore, at this point DH has decided that we should just go to Disney and have fun. (I will agree we all will need a break) Now I just to get over the feeling that he has agreed to Disney solely because I want to go so badly and overlook the fact that I know he wants to go somewhere else.

 

[mom2taylorandemily]

Okay, I made our WDW ressies last summer without telling DH. When I told him in the fall, he wasn't too excited (I may have overplanned last trip, thus turning him off to Disney ) but said that we could keep the plans in place. Then a couple of weeks later, he agreed that we could go. Then we got into a custody battle for DSKids and he decided that we could no longer do WDW. I was not happy but pretty much accepted it. Then the trial stuff started to subside and DH said again that we could go to WDW. I was excited and got into the planning even more. I even got DH to talk about what he did and did not want to do on this trip. Well, then DH got demoted. Not a terribly huge deal because we can still more than pay for our bills and were planning on using tax money to pay for WDW anyhow. So now DH is still determined that we can go to WDW as planned. AND I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA!!! His theory is that if we don't go now, we won't be able to go again for at least 5 years (We are planning on a baby within the next year and we both refuse to take a baby/toddler to WDW). In 5 years, DSD will be way over the princess stage and DSS will be too cool to go to WDW with his little siblings. My rebuttal to this is that it's true but DSS and DSD went with us in 2005. My theory is that even doing a cheap ($3000) trip results in less money for things we need (new car, months worth of wages so DH can spend a month in training, etc). DH's rebuttal to this is 'true, but even if we don't spend the money on WDW, there's no telling what the future holds anyhow'. So now I don't know what to do. Of course I would love to go to WDW as planned. DSD is in love with the princesses and Tinkerbell and we have ADRs for the castle so that will be awesome. The kids don't even know about the trip so that is not an issue. I guess part of the problem is that I feel that DH is agreeing to WDW just for me and that bothers me. Now he has gone to bed and told me to figure out what I want to do with Disney. What I want to do and what I think we should do are two different things and that is why being a grown up is no fun!!!

You need to live for today, and stop planning for what may or may not come. My DH almost died 3 years ago, and we changed our way of thinking, we live for today and give our kids what we didn't have.

 

[mrs. magoo]

I have to say go for it... Enjoy it and don't overanalyze... we have been for 2 short trips and both were great and taken for the reasons that my kids were at great ages for princesses and pirates. So maybe consider taking a shorter trip to save some money, but definitely live for today.

kathe