I am wondering if anyone has every tried a chiropractor for their children. I have scheduled an apt. with one because I do not know what to do anymore.
One other question, how do you handle your child when they have a meltdown, DD5 get violent and has to be in controll when she is having one. What is the best approach to handle her and do we give in to what she wants(like she wants to control where we stand ect.), how do we handle her hitting us. I am at the end of my rope. I am trying to call her psychiatrist to schedule an apt for DH and I to go talk with him about all of her meltdowns lately.
Only you know the extent that your dd will allow certain things when she is melting down:
Are you able to leave the situation and allow her to meltdown alone? If so then walking away at those times might be a good solution.
Does she escalate further if she is restrained? If not, then restraining her might be the best solution.
I absolutely would not "give in" to her controlling where you stand, etc. Instead I would give her something which she CAN control such as options on where she can go, what she can do (i e get deep pressure, release frustration in non-dangerous ways such as something she can destroy that is ok, or something else that is calming). For my dd I created a calm down corner in her room which was her oasis-she picked "special" things to be there like putty, rocking chair, calming music, aromatherapy items, calming pictures. It took A LONG time to get her to use the corner but it was helpful. If she destoyed something it was not replaced.
Also, as Bookwormde has mentioned, a social autopsy after she is calm will help walk her through and allow communication for what activated the meltdown, what could have avoided the meltdown, how she felt during the meltdown. Somtimes kids don't understand the how/what/why of the meltdown and we can help them in learning these things. It is a slow process but every event should/could be a small step toward discovery-not frustration.
My dd has not ever seen a chiro, however, she has extreme issues with people touching her so I have never even considered it.
Another thing I would suggest to you is to keep a journal. When your dd has a good day, log it and everything about that day. Do the same for a bad day. After a while patterns begin to emerge. When we are in the middle of fighing these fires it is hard to "see" the big picture but if you keep a journal you can go back with hindsight and sort out triggers. You'd be amazed at what you can find. I found that strangely enough everytime my dd ate pizza she had a meltdown. Then I had to determine what about the pizza was the trigger? The pizza place? The pizza itself? Something on the pizza?
I know it is such a painfully slow process. 5 is a VERY tough age.
Anyway, I got her an inexpensive guitar and a keyboard. She has really been into music lately so I think she will really like them. She has communicated with her therapist through songs she writes-perhaps these will help her.
whatever!)
They are doing a holiday program and have made dd the "sound technician". She is in charge of pressing play and stop on the CD player at the exact cue times! The perfect job for her and she gets to be "backstage" and evade the social anxiety of being in front of people. 
We tried to watch Happy Feet last night and she became very distressed and said to turn it off because she was afraid she would have nightmares. It's the strangest things that she gets scared of. When Happy Feet had to leave his mother and father and was kicked out of the Penguin Colony because he was different she was quite alarmed and started getting very agitated. They are showing a PG movie at school tomorrow and she doesn't want to watch it because she thinks PG movies are "too scary". 
However, she has said she wants to see Tron, because the idea of living in a video game is a pleasant idea to her. 
