Behavior Challenge Thread

[dogodisney]

Grace, I've been thinking of you and wondering how your trip was going.
I'm glad to hear that it went well....for the most part anyway.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Grace,

Welcome Back!!

The whole airport thing, I don't know. "Get your kid under control or you can't get on the plane" Yeah, that helps. I've heard other parents have the same thing happen. They're not terrorists, they're kids!! Ughh!!

As far as us. We started DS on GF/CF/SF this past week (I started new thread as I'll take all the help we can get).

We've met with a therapist for him and he starts next week. We really like her and it's going to be a combination individual/family therapy. She does play therapy. She actually works more with kids with trauma issues. So she wasn't sure how she ended up with DS and spoke to the Autism specialist there. He's going to stay assigned to her and she will work in conjunction with the "autism lady". we were glad because we really had a good feeling about her. We'll see how it goes.

They are encouraging us to sign him up for another group. We felt the last group was a disaster so we're a little gun shy about doing it again.

That's it from our world right now.

DDM, I'm assuming you're up to your eyeballs in Gluten Free flour. As Tom Bodett used to say in the Motel 6 commericials. "We'll leave the light on for ya".

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Awww, I love you guys!!!! Ok, nothing as glamorous as Grace (egads, the airline story- how awful!!!!! but happy that you had a good trip!). I've been busy, but maybe not nearly as much fun as you imagined.

OK, well, I did pass my Food Manager's Certification training with a 100%, and I highly recommend that you take this type of class (through the local health department) at some point in your life. Not only did I learn some pretty neat things, but I learned some things that everybody who has any food in the house should know anyway, so that was productive. Then I worked on painting out the house. It's taking a long time because I have a lot of cleaning to do and only a few hours everyday to get things done. Slow and steady wins the race, I suppose.

I took the kids to see How to Train Your Dragon. LOVED IT!!!! Splurge and pay for the 3-D, especially if you have a Soarin' fan in the group. It was like Soarin' but with dragons and Vikings. It's a win-win. I joke and say that I am so happy my Danish children finally have a Viking role model besides the Capital One commercial, "What's in your wallet?" You know, first black princess, first semi-intelligent Viking----progress, eh?

And I saved the best for last....I was contacted by my DS's Special Ed teacher who asked me if she could keep my son in her "pull-out" Special Ed unit next year (he was supposed to move to the 3-5th grade teacher). The teacher he's had since we came to the school was selected to be a model teacher for some kind of national study on how to help kids with various forms of ASD and she really wanted to let the team of national guru's get to know my son, since he has done so well since he's been under her wing. And perhaps they can brainstorm and help her with some of his lingering challenges, as well. She said she also wanted parents who would be helpful to the experts, as well. So I am super happy and of course, told her to do whatever she wanted. Maybe my son will meet someone who can help him later on in life, as well.

His regular classroom teacher also let him bring in his violin and play for the class and all the teachers keep asking me how many years he's been playing. It's fun to see the look on their faces when I say, "8 lessons"

 

[bookwormde]

GraceLuvsWDW,
Glad you had a fun time at WDW, we are still 16 month till our next visit and are trying to figure out why we set our schedule this way (we actually know and it is so that we can do 2x outer Banks or Hawaii every 3 years, but it is still hard)
C&G'sMama,
finding a great therapist can make an amazing difference, my experience is that PTSD experienced therapists have a special sensitivity for our kids, make sure to give her a copy of Attwood, if she has not already studied it.
DisDreamMom,
What a great opportunity for your son, keep us informed as to who it is and the program they are using.

Everyone
I am neck deep in advocacy work, IDEA complaints and process filing.
For those who have to received a notice yet, there are major changes proposed as to how the parent information centers are funded, and none of it is good. Check with your state's site and see what action they are recommending, typically it is to call your Fed Senator.
Here is a "Fun" article from an incident in my home school district

http://www.delawareonline.com/artic...60379/1008/Angry-mom--My-son-is-not-a--clown-

Back to writing letters
bookwormde

 

[C&G'sMama]

GraceLuvsWDW,

Everyone
I am neck deep in advocacy work, IDEA complaints and process filing.
For those who have to received a notice yet, there are major changes proposed as to how the parent information centers are funded, and none of it is good. Check with your state's site and see what action they are recommending, typically it is to call your Fed Senator.
Here is a "Fun" article from an incident in my home school district

http://www.delawareonline.com/artic...60379/1008/Angry-mom--My-son-is-not-a--clown-

Back to writing letters
bookwormde

Thank God for advocacy and folks like you.

I read the article and then made the mistake at looking at many of the comments. People just don't get it. This mom wasn't blaming anyone and wasn't just saying her son was just a good boy. She said there was an issue and it's wrong he was made to wear a sign.

Our local paper has started restricting which articles can be commented on and a local TV news site has cut off comments all together as people were getting to be very vial. It's not that I expect everyone to agree with me but I do expect civility.

Off to the Y. DD actually did most of his homework so that we can go.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Happy Easter Everyone!!

Since DD can't have milk chocolate we went with an Easter Pineapple and an Easter Cantelope for their baskets.

We never gave them much candy anyway. But they each get a few jelly beans in the plastic eggs we hide and some "cold hard cash".

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Happy Belated Easter. Ours went pretty well, considering we have family visiting from out of town.

DD has been pulling out her eyelashes. I know there is a condition related to pulling out hair, I don't think it is that as she only pulls out the eyelashes. This is in combination with pulling out her teeth (she has wiggled out 4 teeth since NYE). I know she is under a lot of stress now as her teacher has been out almost a month and she will continue to have a substitute for another month. I just don't know how to stop the eyelash pulling. I will stop her and she will go hide to pull them out then she inspects the hair or will blow on it. Anyone have experience with this?

Also, dev Pedi recommended the book Asperger Syndrome and Sensory Issues: Practical Solutions for Making Sense of the World. Has anyone read this book?

I am worried about the compulsive nature of her behavior right now. However, I do have to say we've made some progress on the hair washing. The OT suggested a hand held sprayer in the bath and I got one that barely puts out much water and we have had less issues using it. Hooray!

Hope all is well with everyone.

 

[Earstou]

My firends daughter did this with hair on her scalp. She was told something along the lines that it caused pain, which then released endorphins, which made her feel good. They then continue the behavior to feel good. The girl was put on anti-anxiety meds.
I just googled it, it's called Trichotillomania and can invole the eyelashes.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

The strange thing is she's already on anti-anxiety meds. My mom told me she's seen dd doing it also so perhaps it's been going on longer than I realize. I don't know that it's to a degree of that disorder but I do think dd is doing it for a reason, I didn't think it "felt good". I thought it was compulsive. I will watch this very carefully. What did your friend do as far as talking to their daughter? Did they try to deter the behavior when they saw it?

Thanks!

 

[Kat77]

The strange thing is she's already on anti-anxiety meds. My mom told me she's seen dd doing it also so perhaps it's been going on longer than I realize. I don't know that it's to a degree of that disorder but I do think dd is doing it for a reason, I didn't think it "felt good". I thought it was compulsive. I will watch this very carefully. What did your friend do as far as talking to their daughter? Did they try to deter the behavior when they saw it?

Thanks!

Watch her carefully, you may need to change her meds. Meds work differently on people and sometimes you get really weird effects. Many years ago, I tried an antidepressant and found it horribly increased OCD tendancies in me. Incidently, I LOVED to pluck hair (no kidding!) during that time (self limited to eyebrows and leg hairs). Went off that med and the odd trich symtoms magically disappeared. Today plucking leg hairs is far from enjoyable... dunno how I ever tolerated doing it repeatedly. I never tell this story to anyone, you guys are just special...

 

[Earstou]

What did your friend do as far as talking to their daughter? Did they try to deter the behavior when they saw it?

Thanks!

Sorry, this was awhile ago and I don't remember. I do remember the mom telling me that the meds worked and her dd stopped.
Can you call her doc and ask if the meds could be causing it, or if you could switch to a different anti-anxiety med to help this problem?

 

[Earstou]

Am I a bad mom or did I do what I needed to do to get my aspie to cooperate?
We always have trouble with dentist appts., but this time I reminded him that driving was a privilege, and that if he was old enough to drive, he was old enough to go to the dentist without making any fuss. If he didn't cooperate (and be nice) then he would lose his driving privilege for a while.
My mom thinks it was terrible that I did this, so now I'm having second thoughts. It did work!!!

 

[bookwormde]

We all try different (and non typical) ways to guide or children. If it woks without negative impacts then it is a success.

bookwormde

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

We all try different (and non typical) ways to guide or children. If it woks without negative impacts then it is a success.

bookwormde

I totally agree.

 

[kirstenb1]

Am I a bad mom or did I do what I needed to do to get my aspie to cooperate?
We always have trouble with dentist appts., but this time I reminded him that driving was a privilege, and that if he was old enough to drive, he was old enough to go to the dentist without making any fuss. If he didn't cooperate (and be nice) then he would lose his driving privilege for a while.
My mom thinks it was terrible that I did this, so now I'm having second thoughts. It did work!!!

You did good. Really, the stakes are high--you need him to have healthy teeth/gums. Whereas driving is a want, not a need (okay, maybe a need for you to no longer be a taxi service, but you get my point!)

 

[Earstou]

Thanks everyone for the support!

My mom has always been very supportive, praising me for how I've raised him and always asking how he is doing. So her reaction really surprised me.

She was down south for the winter, so I was also surprised she knew he went to the dentist. Seems the little devil put out a call for help on Facebook while waiting in the dentist office!

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

I think using rewards (driving the car) for good behavior (submitting to the dental exam) is a good parenting move. I don't see how anyone would see that as otherwise. Somtimes we have to be creative with our kids as "normal" behavioral tools just don't work. He held it together so that's proof he "could" do it with the proper motivation. So, in my opinion you just gave him an incentive to hold it together for the appointment. Now, if you punished him for behavioral blowback (did I just coin a new phrase or does that already exist? ) from holding it together (ie melting down at home after the dental appt) I think that might be an error but sounds to me like you worked it out like a pro!

We're back to having some difficulties with school and the fact that we've had a substitute. DD took a "mental health" day yesterday from school because she was doubled over with a stomach ache in the am. After I told her she could stay home, the problem "magically" dissipated so I am thinking it was anxiety related. Wednesday was a painful separation in the am in front of her class. She actually dropped on the floor and held onto my leg while the sub tried to pry her away from me. This am was even worse and I had to take her to the counselor.

The principal contacted me because I sent a note in response to a permission slip for a field trip that dd would "not be attending". The principal offered a one on one aide for the trip if that would allow dd to attend. I told her to let me know who the aide would be and I would sign the permission slip if it was an aide dd would be comfortable with. I suppose this is quite a leap for the school to offer this aide considering their lack of "support" for dd this school year.

We dropped dd's meds in response to the eyelash pulling. Hoping that will curb it.

Thanks for everyone on this board! I really do appreciate the "community" we have here!

 

[kymmyk13]

We are going to WDW in August. I know they offer a card for people with special needs. I did not get one last time we went and we had some issue. DD5 has ODD, OCD, ADHD, Sensory issues. OK if I get the pass you have to tell them what needs you have, I do not know what we will need. DD has extreme impulse issues and control isssues, last time she wanted peoplel to be in a certain order in line and had a meltdown over it. I don't know what type of Accommodations are available and what I may need. Any suggestions.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

kymmyk,

Just go to Guest Relations in the first park you visit, be sure to bring your dd, and explain to them her issues. If you explain the issues she has they will accommodate her according to her needs. It will not be a problem. At first I had troubles relating my dd's needs with her right there (didn't want to embarrass her or have her get upset about it-as she can sometimes do when her "difficulties" are discussed) but they are very helpful and usually understand there are issues and very little "discussion" is needed. Only once did I have a unknowing CM at MK who had to go back and get a manager who then showed the CM what to do. I would describe her sensory issues and impulse control issues and see what they can do to help.

I highly recommend a stroller if your dd will stay in one to help contain and shield her (ours has buckles that dd cannot undo so she knows she has to stay in). If you can get her accustomed to the stroller as a safe haven prior to the trip it will help a lot.

Happy planning.

 

[kymmyk13]

GraceluvsWDW,

thanks for the info, we got her a new stroller last month and started going for walks in it Monday. We are going to six flags saturday so we get to have a little test run.