Behavior Challenge Thread

[BeckyScott]

DisDreamin, how about kazoo's?

Okay so they are the most annoying thing ever, but they are readily available.

Or if you have the money or a small group, you could look at recorders. I think recorders are the thing that most elementary school teachers use to teach music anyway, so if they hung onto them they might be useful later. They are also annoying.

Wii Music? Do you have a Wii? It's always handy to have a Wii on during a party.

I googled musical instrument craft and got a ton of hits, the ideas are out there. The only "classical" thing I found was http://pbskids.org/dragonflytv/superdoit/straw_oboe.html

Some sort of pin-the-tail game involving music notes and the line-thingy? (you can tell I have no idea what I'm talking about)

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

The dance with the school continues here. It's so hard to tell what they are thinking.

I went to the school assembly on Friday. My dd's teacher sat down with her (and me) Thursday after school and told her she did not have to get up in front of the school. Everything was fine in the assembly until they started calling up the Students of the Week. When they called her name she buried her face and began crying. They brought her certificate to us and took our picture (I'm sure they won't be putting THAT picture in the school newsletter ) but that was still too much for my dd who escalated into a full meltdown and they had to pry her away from me to go back to class. While I am very upset (and it ruined my whole day ) this happened, in a way it was good for ALL the administrator NAYSAYERS in the school to see this. It was VERY apparent this was not a "shy" kid's response, but a NV response to not understanding the overwhelming situation.

The autism leader has been spending more time observing my dd and told me of some things that occurred when she pulled my dd out of class this week. My dd told her about all the license plates in the US (Hawaii is her favorite because it has a rainbow on it ) and did a cheer that went "Toyota ROCKS" etc about her favorite cars. The leader talked to my dd about how license plates and cars help her learn so that is a sign that perhaps she is gaining some understanding, I hope. I sent a formal letter to the school about the bullying, copying her teacher, the principal, the counselor and the autism leader to "cover my butt" in the case this escalates or isn't stopped. I don't know why the autism leader told me the teacher sees her as NT because she has done a 180 on this (I THINK) since that discussion. When the autism leader told my dd that she saw a Hawaii license plate recently this excited my dd tremendously and provoked the longwinded explanation of why license plates were cool by my dd. The leader is still saying they want to "transition" my dd from the chewy necklace to a more "appropriate" fidget and I am torn between thinking that's probably a good idea because the long term reality is that a chewy is a not socially appropriate and feeling they should lay off her and get over it!

On a note related to Disney, I am seriously considering cancelling my upcoming trip (in two weeks!) and transferring those funds to my planned Dec trip. I am concerned that her missing 2 days of school (that Friday is a local holiday so I would pull her out at noon on Wednesday and she would return Tuesday morning) might create an emotional setback at school. While Disney is her happy place and she does so well there, emotionally it might be draining on her when she is so obviously overloaded with expectation right now. She is doing a tremendous job holding it together and adapting to the demands of school. While she is negative and acts out when she gets home I am so proud of her for her accomplishments in adapting to this new environment fairly well. I guess I need to make a decision on the trip ASAP.

And I thought I'd share a heartwarming story: My dd told me a boy in her class said to her: "Your chewy necklace ROCKS" (that's now her favorite word to use ). Man, if I meet this boy's mom I am going to give her a big hug!

And then, the bad story: I was sitting outside waiting for my dd to get out of school and overheard a man telling a woman that things like ADD don't exist and back in the "old days" society took care of those kids it's own way by kids beating them up after school and then they wouldn't act that way anymore. It took all I could muster not to whack this guy upside his head! IDIOT!

So, as usual, my life is a roller coaster of ups and downs. In the course of one day I can go from crying tears of depression to crying tears of joy. And I'm not usually a person who cries!

Good luck to all of you with children starting school on Tuesday!

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Let's see where to begin....

A trip to party store got me some inflatable guitars and a Sax, party favor tambourines and maracas, and a guitar Pinata. I know DS wants classical music, but we've got to balance me not tearing my hair out of my head with SPECIFICS. So MUSIC is the theme, and instruments for creating music are the goal. He'll be tickled to death over the rock instruments, too. He's getting a cornet for his birthday and also possibly a mandolin (my mother's neighbor's garage sale) so I hope it will make him happy. I also found him a giant coffee table book with the original plans for the Eiffel Tower and pictures of them building it. he's going to freak out.

Grace, you need this, and another one for good measure. We've all had crying days. One time last year, I broke down sobbing during a school event one evening. I was just physically and mentally exhausted and watching DS was too hard for me. It was another mom of an ASD child that comforted me. Everyone else looked at me like I was a freak. What I really want to do sometimes is find ignorant jerks like the dude you heard talking, and beat them up after school!

I think you may be on to something about canceling the "little" WDW trip in favor of a big one at Xmas. When my son was younger, I could see just doing a few days of Disney as more tiring and upsetting than a break. Now that we are almost 7 (and in 2nd grade) we are taking a 4 day trip mid-October and he's going to be OK with that. Just don't wear yourselves out. That's my rule.

Becky, you always make me laugh. You must be a super fun person to be around in real life.

One more thing, today I told DS how proud of him I was that he was being so good in school this year. We are only a few weeks into the year, so it's entirely possible that things go straight down the crapper soon, but fingers crossed! Anyway, he looks at me and says, "Well of course I'm good, I'm in second grade now!"

In a sign that verifies the existence of a Higher Power, I must report that DS has made a very good friend at school. She is cute as a button and MOVED HERE FROM FRANCE. OMG! How did Baby Jesus know we need a cute girl from France who's father wears pink polos, just like DS AND brings stuffed animals to play with in the carpool line?

 

[BeckyScott]

DisDreamin, I'm much more entertaining on the computer than in real life.

I think we're okay going into the school year. We shall see. Youngest DS, I don't know his teacher, but he's right next door to his teacher from last year, and she did really well with him. And I think he has a different para. But it's a pretty small school and he should know at least half his classmates (including Wife #1) so at least that part is covered. I like him at a smaller school.

Oldest DS, oh my. I think it will be okay. He's in middle school now and the first year he will be switching out rooms between classes. However. It's four main classrooms and they are together in sort of a "pod". He only leaves that area for gym and band. (DisDreamin, trumpet, btw as determined by DH and DS at the music store, DH can help him at home with that due to his former band geek status, and it's *apparantly* one of the easier instruments to learn) Anyway, he is with the "class within a class" bunch, so his core classes there is a main teacher and a SpEd teacher there. And he has a study skills class with like 5 or 6 other kids and can get extra tutoring. This all sounds peachy-keen so I am now just waiting for the ball to drop. Because you know the ball is going to drop. And while the staff at the elementary school is used to me, I am starting all over again with the middle school. Well, you know, except there is probably a big red sticky-note on his file warning them about me.

I don't know. He got all grown-up all of a sudden. It's kinda freaking me out. He's as tall as half my friends (I'm tall so he hasn't caught me yet, but he's like 5'5") and I don't recognize his voice on the phone. We let him stay home by himself sometimes. He started putting on deodorant voluntarily. All that stuff.

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Becky, you're a few years head of me in kid-age-scale, so I'm making up my mind to just do what you do and hope for the best. The whole teenage thing scares me. I think my son will have multiple "wives", as well. These kids sure do have a "romantic" streak. I am praying DS will be hunky and cute enough for the NICE pretty girls to get him through high school and beyond. The fact that he's still very in touch with his feminine side and he's funny as heck should help him a little. his sister is such a good judge of people, that I'm sure she'll keep things straight on a "peer" level. Thank God for that, a bossy, nosy big sister.

Oh, hey, by the way, we got DS to ride DD's pony now twice! He was so scared the first time that he pulled his thigh muscle. We told him it was "growing pains" but it really was because he was so tense, he just torqued that poor long muscle right up. But he got on again a few days later, so that's a big thing. I think the horse would be good for sensory issues and he can be more physical with them than the small animals. Our pony needs a pretty aggressive rider or he can be a butt head, so they might be a fabulous match. Plus, for some reason the pony likes DS, he actually goes to him to say hello and looks out for him. And it doesn't hurt that the pony could care less if DS turns all the buckets over and plays drums right next to him. So that's progress. Horses are how my DH and I got through the teen years and beyond without going nuts. Wish the same sanctuary for my kids...

Hey, don't we all have a BIG RED STICKY next to our kids' name in the file? I'm guessing that's the second thing we all most have in common.

 

[C&G'sMama]

Hey all.
DDM, man I wished we lived closer so we could crash the party. We would love it. DP played French Horn in HS and I played trumpet. We went to an instrument petting zoo a fews weeks ago and DS LOVED it. He didn't get to play the french horn but he got to try out steel drums, a trumpet and a double bass.

GravesluvsDW - I understand the ups and downs. I just love (imagine sarcastic tone) the mentality of "Just beat 'em and they'll be fine". That works.

We had a few people over for a BBQ yesterday and I watched DS try to engage a friend. She wanted to play frisbee with one of the other boys, DS didn't. So he demanded she go look at something with him and when she wouldn't he started screaming. We finally got an appt for an intake for the Social Skills Class. DP, DS and myself go on 9/24 and from there he'll be placed in a group with 5 other children with similar needs and abilities. Hopefully this will help.

School starts Wednesday, we'll see how it goes.

Take care all.

-A

 

[DisDreaminMom]

C&G's Mama, I wish you could crash our party. Don't you own a spot on Netjets or something? Just fly on down here for the weekend...

And I'm jealous twice. First for Instrument Petting Zoo and again for Social Skills Class.

 

[C&G'sMama]

DDM - wish we could.

You know, we just happened upon the petting zoo. We went up to Watertown (about 150 miles NorthEast of where we live) for DP's family reunion. We had it at the local park. And it just so happened it was the first annual North Country Arts Festival and one of the things they had was the instrument petting zoo. It was very cool.

Wish us luck tomorrow. My kids finally go back to school. DS was a nervous wreck today so DP brought the kids up to school. He spent about 1/2 hour in his classroom checking everything out and talking to the teachers. It helped. He's still chewing to beat the band but he seems a little better. I will take the morning off so we can take pictures and then DP and I and a couple of our other "mom" friends are going out to breakfast.

PS DDM, I loved the story about your DS's new friend from France. You couldn't have planned anything that cool.

 

[bookwormde]

Well we are a week into the new school year and things are busy. DS has headed back to school with few issues. We have even done some extra things at the same time.

We went to the stage production of walking with dinosaurs (2 hour ride). We were prepared for it to be noisy, with hearing protectors and seats well of the floor, but even with this DS was nervous. Both boys enjoyed it (who would not with full size dinosaurs cruising around).

I had fun observing the audience, can you say spectrum fest. Lots of older teens and adults without children who were to an observing eye not socially “smooth”. Quite a number of female 6-12 yo children, a large percentage of gave indications of being Aspergers. OF course there were lots of NT younger children and boys as you would expect with dinosaurs. Behind us was a 19yo with his younger sibling and family, mom was talking about how he wanted to be a paleontologist until recently but had decided to be a pharmacist instead, and in front a family with a boy using ear plugs.

The night before was the annual firehouse pig roast put on by one of the other assistant chiefs, DS arrived and saw the unfamiliar crown and was immediately ready to leave, I encouraged him to stay and we found a table out of the way to sit and talk and observe from. It was not long until some other children snowed up and DS and his younger brother were playing with them, he lasted through several hours of this with additional children and was happy he stayed.

Informally met with most of the IEP team yesterday morning since there were lots of new people and I wanted to make sure they all at least informed enough not to do damage. New speech pathologist has some autism/aspergers experience so there is hope for a more robust program. The are planning on using some of Michelle Garcia Winner’s work as a model, so since she is one of the more progressive people with social skills that suits me well. I am hopeful she is interested in building a robust program but only time will tell.

Afternoon was a district level bullying prevention committee meeting, which went well. Of course progress takes time but all indication are that they are reasonably serious about it. Committee make up changed from last year, but I thinking the long run will be better. We had before mostly principles and vice principles (about 12) this time it was just the assistant superintendent, head of schools, and a principle from each of the 3 grade levels.

Lots of emails yet to do to start working on the non-academic curriculum and to fine tune the other areas.

Busy with facilitating the Aspergers support group, doing my usual research and responding to a request to have a table at a neighboring districts mental heath fair.

Occasionally I get a chance to fit some work in also along with the fire chief thing.

DW in addition to full time work is taking 2 college classes this semester.

Anyone know of anything else I can jump into the middle of to make my life a little less boring.

bookwormde

 

[DisDreaminMom]

Bookwormde, since you're not busy AT ALL, why don't you scoot on over to sunny KY (well, rainy KY) and help me out with some work around the yard and the house. Maybe you can find a cure for cancer, too, since you're just sitting around and all.

Best wishes for all just now starting school. It will be fine. I promise.

Thumbs up for those of you who do actual things to help other people with ASD and Aspergers. I guess I've got my head really far up my a*&; that and I think I must be the only person in KY with an Aspie. Because I've never heard of a support or social skill group for Aspies in my area.

It may be apples and trees (makes me think of Mechurchlady), but I don't think I can fit all that stuff into an already "makes me tired" schedule. I'm just not that good at handling a big activity load.

 

[KirstenB]

sheesh Bookworm, doncha hate it when your paying job gets in the way of your real work!!

Thanks for helping educate others about our kids!!! The dinosaur show sounds like fun. I hadn't heard of it. Zoe is just getting into dinosaurs, so I'll be on the lookout.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Afternoon was a district level bullying prevention committee meeting, which went well. Of course progress takes time but all indication are that they are reasonably serious about it. Committee make up changed from last year, but I thinking the long run will be better. We had before mostly principles and vice principles (about 12) this time it was just the assistant superintendent, head of schools, and a principle from each of the 3 grade levels.

Lots of emails yet to do to start working on the non-academic curriculum and to fine tune the other areas.

Busy with facilitating the Aspergers support group, doing my usual research and responding to a request to have a table at a neighboring districts mental heath fair.

Occasionally I get a chance to fit some work in also along with the fire chief thing.

DW in addition to full time work is taking 2 college classes this semester.

Anyone know of anything else I can jump into the middle of to make my life a little less boring.

bookwormde

Bookwormde,

How do you get invited to the meetings such as the one on bullying? Is this a standard parents meeting offered?

Also, I'd like to know more about the Asperger's support group. There is no such thing here where I am (maybe there are no parents who are needing support or maybe they are looking for one like I am?). I'd love to find out how to get involved in this. There is an "Autism" support group but I don't know if I would fit in there.

You are miles ahead of me in the school advocacy realm so I am really interested to hear about your work with the school in that regard!

Thanks.

 

[bookwormde]

GraceLuvsWDW,

I have quite a few years on you, so that helps. Being an aspie has always left me being the one questioning things that ware not efficient or equitable.

As for committees etc, I ask the hard questions so rather than having me “pestering” them for answers it is just easier to use my knowledge and avoid the external hassle and just make me part of the solution. The bullying law I followed through the legislative process and as soon as it become law was in contact with my state DOE to make sure that the implementation was complying with the law.

Aspergers support groups are hit and miss around the country. It is a little hard to maintain the critical mass needed to keep them going. The standard autism groups tend to “miss” much of the information and experiences, which are special to our children.

I am in the process of restarting our area’s one, which had gone dormant for about 6 months. Here is the “invitation” we post, which is an abbreviated version of our mission statement.

“Aspergers support group

Delaware Aspergers support and advocacy group will be holding meetings on the 3rd Saturday of each month at A.I duPont children’s hospital at 10 AM in room 1F11.

Aspergers Delaware is a support and advocacy group for and by both parents of (or others with responsibility or interest in) children who are Aspergers and individuals who are Aspergers. In addition to those who have children who are formally diagnosed as Aspergers, also included are individuals and parents impacted by related or concurrent items such as PDD-nos, HFA, and any similar groupings Autism characteristics such as social skills deficits, auditory processing issues, sensory differentials, executive function differentials (attention and processing for examples), or any of the other close to 100 characteristics which can be are part of Autism genetics, for which the related experience and advocacy of Aspersers may be helpful.

Additionally clinicians, educators or others who wish to support or learn about Aspergers are welcome.

For additional information, directions or other questions please email DelawareAspergers@verizon.net. “

Oh by the way if you are to the point where you are looking for some good seminars, the clinicians below are some of the best and are coming to Dallas (I know Texas is a big state so it may not be that close to you but is well worth the money and traveling for).

Dallas ASD Workshops November 5 – 6, 2009
Award-winning autism specialists and authors Michelle Garcia Winner & Carol Gray are coming to Dallas!

Here is the link to the page
http://www.socialthinking.com/index...nt&view=category&layout=blog&id=71&Itemid=133


bookwormde

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

ooo I'm going to try to find a way to get to that conference!

Ok, guys, can I bounce something off you? My dd is having school refusal issues. And I'm trying to be patient with the school but I'm so P'ed off at them! At open house I was closely monitoring the interaction between my dd and her teacher and I could tell it was strained. I've talked to him, I've talked to the leader, etc, etc, etc and nothing is ever done. And at open house he stated he really wished "parents" (while he wasn't looking at me ) would only talk to him and not other administrators about their issues. He also went over what they'll be working on and it was abc's and 1-2-3's and I realized this is SO FAR below my dd's level I was stunned! She mastered those skills at LEAST 2 years ago. So I've been contemplating giving up on this school and putting her back into private. She wouldn't be eligible for anything there but heck, what does that matter if she's NOT getting anything here ANYWAY?

So I drafted one last ditch letter to the Austim Leader. It doesn't feel as though I'm conveying my thoughts clearly enough so would ya'll read it and give me advice on editing or adding to it? Thanks! Here it is:

I wanted to let you know XXX’s issues in the morning and after school are getting worse. She is crying and begging me not to take her to school. When I take her to the library she clings to me and they pry her away from me. This morning she saw {her teacher} and became upset. This is the pattern that has been challenging to get under control in the past.

I am concerned that one of the issues is she is not being challenged enough in her current placement and this is causing boredom and frustration with her. I feel the current level of work they are completing is work she mastered two years ago. If she were more stimulated and learning new concepts as well as practicing skills she has mastered perhaps she wouldn’t be so negative. She is basically coloring and reviewing the alphabet now and while I am continuing with her appropriate level instruction at home (math, reading, writing) I fear this wrong placement is going to cause regression of her skills.

I initially placed her to repeat Kinder in order to work on her social skills. But I realize with Asperger’s her social skills are probably not ever going to be grade level appropriate, she really is not getting the social skills coaching and supports I envisioned, and keeping her back is detrimental to her cognitively. She “understands” she is doing work that is too simple and is acting out because of it. And this is manifesting into school refusal. That is probably only a part of her refusal, but it may be something we can address more easily than her social misunderstandings.

I am contemplating pulling her out of {this school} and putting her back into the Montessori school she attended last year. They have 6 students in their first grade class which would be far easier for her to cope with. Plus, they are a smaller school and probably able to address her special needs better.

I am going to give it a few more weeks to see if it subsides at all. I am going to meet with the counselor and send another note to {her teacher} about the school refusal and see if he has any insight on this. My concern is that if we don’t have her fears and anxieties regarding school dealt with soon the problem will become much worse. I cannot get her to voice her concerns to {her teacher} and I don’t know how to facilitate that relationship. I have personally witnessed some interaction between XXXX and {her teacher} and, while I understand that he believes that if he treats her “normally” she will act “normally”, it is my personal opinion that this methodology is one that will make her “act normal” and hide her fears, confusion, and feelings of inadequacy. Hiding her feelings will not serve anyone, least of all her and will not allow those closest to her to help her. We have a unique situation on our hands: no one knows there is a problem because she is unable to voice her needs. I am trying to be her voice for her but the {school district} system is too slow to respond or acknowledge there is a problem, meanwhile her issues become more entrenched.
(end of letter)
That's all I have so far. Ideas??????

Thanks.

 

[bookwormde]

IF you already had a classification then you could give them a 10 day notice that they are not meting your child’s needs for an appropriate education and the this new placement would be at the districts expense.

Quite honestly most of the reason districts drag their feet is so people will go elsewhere and they will not have the work and cost the as mandated by IDEA.

If you cannot stick it out until the evaluation is complete let them know that you change is temporary until they can complete the evaluation and get an effective IEP in place, which retains all your child’s rights under IDEA. Have they scheduled an IEP meeting date to review the evaluations and do a classification determination yet? By now it should be scheduled even if it is still a month out.

Be sure in your letter to include that at this point, the school is failing to meet your child’s need for an appropriate education, as they did by not adequately implementing a child find program so that this evaluation and IEP could have been in place on the first day of school as it should have been under IDEA regulations.

Also be sure to include that this situation is causing damage and injury to your child.

bookwormde

 

[Piper]

If you tell them that you are considering taking Grace out of the school, they will drag their feet even more. That would release them from responsibility.

I would include in the letter that her needs are not being met either academically, socially or emotionally.

Have you been given any kind of "rights booklet"? If so, there is probably a section on what to do if you do not agree on your child's program. I would mention that you are contacting a lawyer (and the agency listed in the booklet) as you feel that the district is not moving quickly enough to meet your child's needs--that you let them know her diagnosis and "need" for an IEP and that need has not been met. Do include that this is causing harm to your child.

Good luck. I know it is very frustrating. It is often frustrating for me as a teacher when I see a child with a need and "the powers that be" will do nothing to help the child. (Even though I have NEVER referred a child that didn't end up getting services--but it has been as much as TWO YEARS after I referred them! Wasted years!)

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Hi guys. Are all of you living out your negative soap opera storylines through me? Sorry I never have anything positive to say....BUT....

The proverbial **** hit the fan yesterday (yes again). I didn't send that letter, I was still chewing on it when I picked up dd from school. She was crying when I picked her up . She ONCE AGAIN had her chewy necklace taken away and this time it was in a manner that publicly ridiculed her (by the gym teacher in front of her whole class). I don't have to tell you that when she told me that I was STEAMING mad!
Now, to add insult to injury, her teacher met me outside and informed me it would be best if I no longer walked my dd into the school each morning. That the difficult separation should occur outside the school. He alluded (ok we're moms and dads who have been dealing with the ignorant naysayers so long we KNOW when we're being patronized ) that I was "creating" the painful separation. Are you freakin kidding me???????!!!!!!

Ok, so I was seeing RED and drove straight to the district admin offices to give them a piece of my mind. Of course, no one was "available to see me". It's probably a good thing too.

I'll have to resume this later....(interruption) I think I am losing my mind.

 

[GraceLuvsWDW]

Ok, where did I leave off? Oh, yeah, I was mad.
So I went home and composed an opus of a letter, detailing the chronology of everything that had transpired. I noted they were in violation child find, that my dd was suffering injury from their insensitive treatment of her, and everything else. It was 7 pages long. I felt better after I wrote it, and this morning I took it to the Sp Ed department. It just happened that the person who received the letter from me and spoke to me about it was the original coordinator that told me parents can't initiate an eval so you can imagine the meeting with her did not go well. She basically said Sp Ed has no authority over what was happening at the school level and it wasn't their fault. She sent me to the principal of the school. I went over to the school and waited to see the Principal. At first, my blood pressure was really rising when she noted all the things I was doing wrong in the situation. I tried to stay calm. She basically inferred that I was an over-involved parent causing the anxiety my dd was manifesting. She stated that by comforting in ways such as the chewy, my dd was never going to "stand on her own two feet". We proceeded to have about an hour and a half meeting in which I said everything I felt, backed up my statements with the facts, and she said she'd "look into them". We made an appt for next Wednesday to discuss my dd's medical records (which she had never received) and my request to change my dd's placement. She told me I needed a support group to help me with these issues. She said she had LOTS of Asperger's kids (which is totally opposite of what my dd's teacher told me) and that she KNOWS how to deal with them. She stated she observed my dd in the lunchroom and did not notice any apparent signs of Autism manifesting in her. She stated "by all accounts" my dd was doing "just fine". She commented that my dd wasn't showing anxiety at school, only at home and wasn't that notable to me? hint hint? Anyway, blah blah blah.

Here is an excerpt from my letter (I sent it to Sp Ed Dir, Autism Leader and principal):

Because of these instances of disregard and lack of support for my daughter’s neurological issues my daughter is now refusing school, having anxiety in the mornings, crying every day after school and is suffering damage and injury due to this insensitive treatment. I am respectfully requesting, pursuant to 504 or IDEA or whatever reference needs to be made, the following solutions be implemented immediately:

No one shall remove or instruct XXXX to remove her chewy necklace. This is a therapeutic aid and should be protected as such. A teacher or administrator may ask her to remove it from her mouth for a period but to take it away is showing my daughter she cannot trust you to give her the tools she has been taught to use (by a licensed professional) to feel safe and taking it away intensifies her anxiety in school. No ridicule of the necklace should be allowed in any form or fashion. We can formulate a long term plan to transition her to a different device but for now, with her current level of anxiety starting a new school, this must be a non-negotiable item.

XXXX should be recommended for moving up to first grade as soon as possible. She scored superior scores on the Educational Readiness Test and has shown mastery of early number concepts, phonological processing, word reading, and numerical operations. Based on this test I think it is appropriate to move XXXX to first grade to better meet her current academic skill set. If it is shown that first grade would not be appropriate based on her current academic skills I would like it demonstrated how Kindergarten would present a more appropriate placement.

Social skills coaching needs to be implemented by a regular education teacher beyond the regular curriculum. XXXX needs to be coached on developing independence, forming friendships, developing self esteem appropriate to a school setting, and respect for her peers. She also needs help with understanding social cues, the give and take of communication, and developing self help skills such as asking for help when she needs it, telling someone when she is angry, scared or anxious, and communicating her thoughts and needs appropriately. All of these skills are the foundation for a successful academic experience.

XXXX needs a “go to” person at the school with whom she feels comfortable and secure in voicing her fears and concerns and this relationship needs to be created immediately. The school needs to take proactive action on creating this bond. This person needs to assure XXXX that she is safe, that everyone is there to help her, and that, while she must conduct herself appropriately at all times and obey all rules of conduct in the classroom, she can express her emotions and her thoughts in a non-judgmental safe place. This is the only way to ease her developing anxiety.

XXXX might need modifications to her requirement or expectations of her attendance at the assembly each Friday. She expresses extreme fear of these due to the number of people present, the loudness of the microphone and students, and sitting so close to those around her. It is inappropriate to ignore that this level of sensory overload can cause anxiety to her. Perhaps she can sit in the back or away from the kids but something needs to be solved here immediately or it will exacerbate the school refusal.
(end of excerpt)
So we'll see what happens. I'm not feeling as bad as I did yesterday. My dd had a good day today and is happy it is the weekend. One day at a time.

 

[bookwormde]

The special Ed department is there to support and monitor the schools Sped program. Take a copy of the letter and send it certified mail to the head of the special Ed department and the district superintendent. Add as an addendum the statement of the district person you talked to yesterday.

If you really want to “shake their tree” find the person and address of the IDEA compliance officer for the state of Texas and send it to that person and be sure to mark the CC on your letter to the district.

bookwormde

 

[DisDreaminMom]

SIGH. I guess those "old" warriors out there saw this one coming. So sorry. Why can't she stay in a Montessori? It has always been in the back of my mind as an option for DS. The kids that graduate from high school from our big Montessori are so well rounded. I'd have to work full time to be able to afford the tuition, so that's why I don't do it. But from what I understand, if the district can't meet the needs of your child, then they HAVE to pay for the private school tuition. Or at least that's what I was told.

So if poor Grace is the Gloomy Gus (through no fault of her own, mind you-and I have nothing but the most sincere sympathy for her) then I must report that the party went smashingly well last night. My DH rented a bouncy house. Can you believe it? He got a great deal on the rental. It was perfect. All the kids had a blast. And one of our good friends got DS a FULL SIZED DRUM SET! Like the kind they use in a band. He's friends with a pawn shop owner, and got a $1500 drum set for considerably less than that. So now we have a viola, a cornet, a few acoustic guitars, and a full size drum set.

The crazy part is that DS has managed to figure out how to do a jazz type riff on the cornet that sounds pretty cool, and he was playing the drum set like some Metallica drummer last night. It's crazy! Not what you'd expect from a kid. And listening to all the children playing the drums, you could tell when it was DS versus the other children. Because it went from NOISE to MUSIC. (And DD was pretty decent, too. She kept playing the "ba-dum-dum-ching" sound, ike after someone tells a joke).

I asked the friend of ours why he wanted to get DS a big drum set, and he said, "Cause I just LOVE your kid! love to see him so excited about things!"
And with all the hard Aspergers stuff we have to deal with, this is the one bright side. They certainly do get happy around their passions.

Gloomy Gus update, DS supposedly got "punched in the face" and the kid that did it had to go to the office, but funny enough I never got contacted about it. Also, we were at the local Mexican restaurant for DS's Birthday dinner Thursday, and DS walked up to a waiter on his way out of the bathroom and said something to him that made him howl laughing for at least twenty minutes. God only knows what he said. DS wouldn't tell me. Guess I won't be going there for a while.

Hope everyone else has a good weekend. When your kid wakes you up or is yelling, think of me. I have been woken up by, and serenaded to sleep and attempted to sleep through a couple of naps with the sweet sounds of cornets and drum sets and violas and violins. Sometimes, all at the same time.