Beer at Grad Party?

[dimimi]

We're a family that never has alcohol at events or even in our house.

If you never have it then why would you at a party. We always do so we would hand the beer to the adults. We would not have it out for anyone.

 

[bumbershoot]

If you never have it, then your family and friends are used to it, so there's no reason to start it now.

If you have never served alcohol at parties, don't start now. Teach your daughter & the other teens there that yes, you can have a party & not have alcohol. They can still have fun. Don't send her off to college thinking all parties must have alcohol to be a success.

If ONE single party could mess with their daughter's mind THAT much...then something has gone terribly awry...


I grew up in a family with extended friends groups and there was always alcohol at the events and gatherings. It was NO big deal, and I believe that it taught us how to, and how not to, drink. None of us looked at the adults who had a bit too much and thought "ooh that's what I want to do!"

I'm quite sure that we will have beer and wine at a graduation party, if we have one. It would be about making a nice party and NOT going out of our comfort zone. Who cares if the grads can't have it? I go to parties where meat is served and we "can't" have it (started as a choice, but after 20+ years it would not be pretty to start eating meat now), but I don't think it's inappropriate. We've even provided meat pizzas for people at parties we've thrown, even though we don't eat it.


But that's us! Friends and family would expect it of us, because they know that I enjoy a beer (DH doesn't really drink, though I bet he'd have a single Baileys on the rocks in honor of the party) and we have had it for other parties (when it was allowed...our parks do not allow it).

That said, I would definitely have a non-drinker watching over the beer/wine, if we had such a party. Perhaps even hire someone. That way someone isn't trying to be part of the party while serving at the same time.

 

[DCbride]

We will have DDs grad party in a few weeks. Both family and her friends are invited. We plan to provide beer in bottles from lunch until about 6/7 for the family and our friends. She is expecting her friends to arrive for the late afternoon and evening. There will only be water and soda out for them.

 

[luvmy3]

I would serve it, but I come from a family where beer and wine were always available at most family parties and gatherings. If I never served alcohol at those kinds of events, I wouldn't at this one either.

 

[Halbleib1]

Did not read all of the posts so if already mentioned sorry.

My question is do they even allow beer at the park pavillion??

Personally I would not want the responsibility for supplying the beer and then something happening to someone after the party. I would make sure the pavillion allowed alcohol and then state in the invite BYOB for those over the age of 21

Even telling guests to byob is not absolving the op from liability. Bottom line she is the one hosting the party and paying to rent the pavillion therefore she is responsible for what her guests do while there. She will also be the one getting the permit that is needed to have alcohol at the park.

Even if they were to have it at their home the OP would still be responsible for any underage drinking taking place even if the OP was not aware of it at the time.

Also any adults at the party would be liable as well. Just being in the same place while it is going on is enough even if they are not the ones giving the alcohol to the minors.

 

[tinkermom23]

Many, many years ago... in a land far, far away....
at my brothers' graduation party, my friend and I (who were only 12 at the time) experienced our first drunk, puking and all. The keg was handy and everyone was distracted.
You think we would have learned but at her brothers' grad. party the following year, we did the same thing... (sadly, this was still not our last )

 

[MarilIncredible]

I've been to both dry HS grad parties and ones with beer/wine/booze. I was able to have a good time at both kinds of parties. I wouldn't be shocked or offended if I showed up to a HS grad party and didn't find adult beverages available.

We had beer & wine coolers at mine (in 1992), but my parents allowed my sister and I to have one or two drinks on special occasions by our later teens, so it really wasn't such a big deal to me & I wasn't tempted to sneak wine coolers and get blotto.

 

[MELSMICE]

Maybe it's different in different parts of the country, but I've honestly never been to any celebration where adults were present that there wasn't alcohol & that includes celebrations for children (including family birthday parties).

I'm not a drinker, but I don't have a problem with others serving alcohol to adults. I guess it is the responsibility of the host to make sure that underage drinking doesn't take place. If that means hiring someone (like we are for our DD's grad party) then so be it & if that means not having it, that's OK too.

I just found it odd & was surprised that so many people didn't or wouldn't serve alcohol when adults were present because the guest of honor couldn't drink. Not flaming or bashing anyone - it just surprised me.

 

[powellrj]

Maybe it's different in different parts of the country, but I've honestly never been to any celebration where adults were present that there wasn't alcohol & that includes celebrations for children (including family birthday parties).

I'm not a drinker, but I don't have a problem with others serving alcohol to adults. I guess it is the responsibility of the host to make sure that underage drinking doesn't take place. If that means hiring someone (like we are for our DD's grad party) then so be it & if that means not having it, that's OK too.

I just found it odd & was surprised that so many people didn't or wouldn't serve alcohol when adults were present because the guest of honor couldn't drink. Not flaming or bashing anyone - it just surprised me.

I'm going to guess you don't live in the bible belt!!!!! We go to more party that don't serve alcohol than we go to them that do!!

 

[eliza61]

Next year DD will be graduating from high school and wants to have her grad party at a nearby park pavilion. I tend to not want to serve beer so we don't need to be concerned with anyone underage trying to access it. Please let me know if you think beer should be available for those over 21 at grad parties or if it shouldn't even be on the premesis.

My vote was no. My reasons are very simple. I'm a worry wart. It would be too difficult for me to figure out who was 21 who was not, I'd end up worrying if the 21 yo's were giving booze to the under crowd and last the drink and drive issue.

It's just easier for me to make it a non alcoholic affair. my family is a family of big drinkers and they have no problem with it. I simply let every one know ahead of time that it will be a "dry" affair.

Heck, I'm having issues for an upcoming Barbeque on the 4th. Here in NJ if a guest leaves your premises ripped and gets into an accident you are liable.

 

[MELSMICE]

I'm going to guess you don't live in the bible belt!!!!! We go to more party that don't serve alcohol than we go to them that do!!

No, we definitely don't live in the bible belt. We are in Western New York. (Buffalo) Sometimes I wonder if the only things we are known for are chicken wings, snow & beer!!!

 

[ssawka]

No, we definitely don't live in the bible belt. We are in Western New York. (Buffalo) Sometimes I wonder if the only things we are known for are chicken wings, snow & beer!!!

Don't forget the Goo Goo Dolls!

 

[labdogs42]

No, but not because of the underage dirnking concern, but because you don't usually have beer at your parties. If this was a party for my family, there would be beer there for sure!

 

[waughzee]

We just had DS's grad party on Sunday. The park pavilion that we had it at did not allow alcohol on premises unless we purchased our own insurance waiver. We are not drinkers, and didn't plan on having any alcohol available anyway, so we did not purchase it.

 

[MELSMICE]

Don't forget the Goo Goo Dolls!

That's right! My oldest DD had been very good friends in the 3rd grade with the niece of Robby Takac. We moved to the next town over when she was in 4th grade & they lost touch with each other as they attended different schools then..........darn it!

 

[Kae]

No, but not because of the underage dirnking concern, but because you don't usually have beer at your parties. If this was a party for my family, there would be beer there for sure!

I agree.

Kae

 

[mizzoumom]

I must say, we just had my daughters grad party from high school and had alcohol for the over 21 bunch. It was kept in the fridge in the house. The soda and tea were made more available. My daughters friends who were present have never drank. So that was not a worry of mine. To me if you know the kids and they understand your rules then there is no worry.

 

[disfan07]

We have alcohol at every event in our family. We have people ranging in age from infant to 90s. We have open bars at all bar and bat mitzvahs, we had alcohol at all grad parties, etc. But we also don't associate with anyone who would make us have second thoughts about it. If you associate with people who would make it a problem to let anyone 21 and older have access to it than that's another issue all together. We've never had people who we would not trust around alcohol at any event we have

 

[Julia M]

DS just graduated from HS, We had a joint graduation party with friends and it never once occurred to me not to serve alcohol. We had beer, wine and margaritas.

It also never once occurred to me that any of the young people would drink (and they didn't)

But, we've always had beer and wine at parties, and have never had a guest who was driving get drunk. Heck, I don't think we've had a guest, period, get drunk! For example, this weekend, we'll gather with friends around three and stay until 10 or 11 (when the city fireworks go off-one house happens to have a view, so we don't have to travel) I imagine I might have 3 or 4 drinks over the course of the afternoon or night, and that would be high (I'll probably have 2 or 3)

Julia

 

[ShannonMB]

I have no opinion on "if the guest of honor can't drink, don't serve it", that's a personal choice. But in your situation, OP, where you never have alcohol at parties, why go to the expense and the bother of getting a permit/liability insurance? I wouldn't worry about it.