Beavis n Butters: Marathon Trip 09 *Updated with Pictures*

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DAY 4:

At 2:30, we got a mysterious phone call. Apparently Mickey wanted us to get out of bed to help contain Stitch. Or something like that. I don’t know, because MataMata answered the phone, and didn’t really pay attention to the call at all. Poor mickey.

Anyway, we got up and, after kicking the invisible people out of our running gear, suited up for what was sure to be the most magical (if not the happiest) half marathon on the face of the USA (USA… aaah, can’t…stop….random…chanting…..). For those of you wondering why this wouldn’t be the happiest half marathon on the continent, I’ll explain: Disney World IS NOT the happiest place on earth. I guarantee it. So all those ‘happiest x’ or ‘happiest y’ things don’t apply. The happiest place is DisneyLAND. I know, because I’ve been there and felt it. The most MAGICAL place is Disney WORLD. That’s the difference. It has nothing to do with location, and everything to do with advertising slogans. So, now that that’s straightened out…

 

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We left our cozy hotel room to venture into the dark, 40-something degree weather at about 3:00. Because we were staying at the OKW resort, our car was conveniently parked right in front of our door. What was NOT conveniently parked right in front of our door was an event bus. That was parked at the main office. The main office, for those of you who don’t know (I’m guessing that’s most), is nowhere near the hotel room we were staying in. So we had the brilliant idea to drive our conveniently located vehicle to the bus pickup area. Because we were some of the very few people who were up and trying to park at the main office, this was a smashing success.

It was at this point that we hatched a devious, and rather unimportant sounding plot: I was going to run the half marathon at my pace (faster than them), while Beavis and MataMata ran at their pace (slower than me). If all three of us stuck to our race strategies, that would give me plenty of time to get back to the resort, drive our car back to the room, shower, change clothes, eat a nice lunch, and wait for them to call me from the lobby when they got back to the hotel. Once I got the call, I would drive back to the Main office area to pick Beavis and MataMata up. Brilliant plan. We were all very proud of it.

 

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For those of you planning to do either the half or full marathon at Disney World (and I highly recommend that EVERYONE do it at least once), there are a few things ‘they’ tell you about the way things are that are very not right. Of course, by ‘they’ I am referring to your conceived notion of what will happen. For example, if you decide to run a Disney marathon event you are probably NOT imagining having to get on a bus at 3am for a 6am race. Now, one of the things that they don’t tell you is that when the bus takes you to the start at Epcot, it is really taking you to the Epcot parking lot and dropping you off about 600 yards from the festivity area. Further, the festivity area is about a mile (give or take) from the start line corrals.

When we showed up on the morning of the half marathon, this is how we did it:
We got off the bus and walked the distance to the festivity area. It was at about this point that the 40 degree weather made itself noticeable. As Beavis and I normally do, we set up a post near the bag check area (for those of you who don’t know, each runner is given a clear plastic bag that they can check – at the bag check area - for the race, so that they don’t have to carry their keys, heavy coats, phones, and whatnot). That way we are close to the STAGING area without being isolated in the STAGING area. Now, you are probably wondering what area we were in if we weren’t in the staging area. That was the PRE staging area. The PRE staging area is where a live band performs, and tries to get everyone all pumped up for the race. This year, the ‘80’s Refugees came all the way from California. The drummer was the ‘Karate Kid’. The bassist was Devo 2.0. The lead singer was Nigel Naughty. No, I did not make that up. We sat around and stretched and stared into space for about an hour, until we were told to go to the STAGING area at 4:00.

The STAGING area is pretty much a giant area enclosed with porta-potties. A LOT of them. Oddly enough, there is no stage in the STAGING area. Once we got there, we sat around for a while and stared into space for a while.

Because I was planning to run the half marathon at a faster pace than Beavis and MataMata, I was in a different start corral. At about 4:30, they called my corral up, and I headed out to the start line area. I think Beavis and MataMata left for their area at about 5:00. During my walk to the start line, I realized that there is a good reason people don’t wear shorts and short sleeved shirts in 40 degree weather. It’s pretty cold, even with a giant trash bag poncho. Anyway, I walked with the mass of people to the start line area. From my starting corral towards the front, I could barely make out the start line banner. There are A LOT of people who come to this event. I struck up some conversations while waiting for the race to start, and watched music videos and stuff. About ten minutes out, the national anthem was performed, the race crew talked about how awesome the race was, and then the wheelchair race was started. And then we did a big countdown to the start of the running portion. TEN…NINE….EIGHT….SEVEN…SIX…FIVE…FOUR…THREE...TWO…ONE…Happy New Year!!! You get the idea. There was a flurry of fireworks, and everybody lurched forward in unison…and then immediately stopped and stood still. Another thing ‘they’ never mention is that at a major marathon like those at Disney, if you’re not in the very front you will not cross the start line for at least a minute. The momentum slowly builds up, as more people move forward. As you get closer to the start the pace gets faster, little by little, until you hit the start line and take off.

So began my exciting and exhilarating half marathon experience. To keep this topic on the shorter side for those who really just want to hear about the TRIP instead of the RACE, I’ll stick to the high points:

 

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The course essentially runs what we like to call an ‘out and back’. For you purists out there, that’s not true, but it’s pretty close. Starting just outside Epcot, runners go to the Magic Kingdom by way of the Contemporary Resort. This gives runners a little bit of a view behind the scenes at the park. Once runners get to the Magic Kingdom, they run up Main Street USA and take a turn into Tomorrowland. This leads to Fanasyland, where we get to run through the castle in a major photo-op (there are photographers around on the course to take such cool pictures, and they post them online where we can see them and buy any that we want). After we run out of the castle, we take a hard right to go through Liberty Square, and leave the park by Splash Mountain (which is always closed during the marathon for seasonal renovation). Once we leave the park, we run straight back to Epcot, do a quick run into and back out of it, and cross the finish line in the parking lot. It’s a pretty flat course, with the biggest ‘hill’ coming after you complete the underwater running portion (where you run under the seven seas lagoon – bay lake connector) on the way to the Contemporary. It’s called ‘Contemporary Hill’ by many. The other ‘hills’ consist of on-ramps and bridges. Altogether, it’s a pretty good course. And about the time I finished, the sun was just thinking about coming up.

Of my particular race notes, I don’t have a whole lot to say. I went out too fast and got tired by the end. I missed my best time by about 5 minutes. Not too good, but not too bad either.

 

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One reason Beavis and MataMata decided to take the slower route in the half marathon was their plot to take pictures along the way. For the half marathon, Pooh, Tigger, Alice and company, Cinderella and company, and a few others were out to cheer the runners on and give photo ops. Beavis and MataMata stopped for some of their favorite characters. I thought the coolest photo op they had was with the railroad engineers at the park exit because, as you may recall, MataMata works for a railroad logistics company. And I’m and engineer and like to hear about people being engineers (even if they’re not the same kind of engineer I am). While they were posing for the picture, MataMata told the fine railroad workers that SHE worked for the railroad. They gave a laugh and said, “We don’t.” Also, on the way out of the Magic Kingdom Captain Jack Sparrow was spotted. A runner passing by commented and pointed him out as Johnny Depp. Captain Sparrow then looked very confused, and said, “Who’s Jonnie?” I guess it was an honest mistake. If Johnny Depp isn’t holding a candy bar and wearing purple, I can hardly tell the difference.

 

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So, part one of our brilliant plan had come to pass: I had finished before Beavis and MataMata. I picked up my checked bag before heading to the busses, riding back to the hotel, and driving my car back to the room. Once there I got showered and changed, and waited for the call. Then, after a while I decided I would sneak back and surprise them when they got back to the hotel by already being there with the car. I’m super cool like that, and so I drove back over to the main area, found a good spot to watch from and waited for them to come back from the race. The time was about 9:45am.


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It was about 11:40 and I was starting to get worried: did something go wrong? We hadn’t planned for emergencies, and I had left my cell phone back at the hotel room to charge. Neither Beavis nor MataMata had a cell phone to call me with anyway, so that wouldn’t be very helpful. I talked to the nice lady in charge of the race busses, and she said she’d keep a lookout for anyone matching their descriptions. Meanwhile, I headed back to the room to see if they had slipped through the cracks.

As it turns out, slip through the cracks is exactly what they did. They got off the bus at about 9:45am. That was exactly the time I got in the car. We had just missed each other, and so robbed ourselves of about 2 hours of park time. Don’t worry Beavis and MataMata, I’m not mad at you. Of course, they were pretty mad at me. But that’s a different story.