Batman Stikesssss!

[dcentity2000]

YOU WANNA TRIP REPORT, EVERYBODY?

This is a trip report straight from the caverns of my memory. Sorry, change that to: immense memory that overshadows all. There. That sounds better.

‘Twas the September of 2003 when my girlfriend and me grabbed red passports, boarded the plane and with minimal pain made for the sunny east coast of Zimbabwe.

Well imagine how I felt when I stepped off the plane and it turned out to be America. I mean, DANG! Talk about mistakes? But, being me and not wanting to look like a fool in front of my girlfriend I calmly declared that yes, this was correct (the fact that I had run up an down the plane screaming hysterically in fear just prior to take off for fear of gremlins on the wing was at this point a distant memory). Things did of course brighten up when I espied the big security guards Basher and Biffer ordering everyone to remove their shoes – I really needed to air my feet, I mean they were s-w-e-a-t-y! Whew! For some strange reason the crowds moved much quicker thereafter – must have been because of a new check in procedure, or something non-feet related.

Having blagged our ways thus far I decided that the best thing to do was to get to a hotel. Jumping into a taxi we boldly declared ‘To the inns’. Had we known that International Drive was made pretty much exclusively of hotels, we might have been slightly more specific – ‘to the first hotel’, for instance.

Oh the hotel! It was lovely! The room had a view, a floor, a ceiling, a door and three walls! The fourth was out on loan to Universal, but who were we to complain? We were in Florida! The sun was out, the lizards were singing, the… hang on – it rained, didn’t it?! Well at least we were insi… fire alarm? There was a fire alarm! That @*%^£&@…

Anywho, the day of Disney fast approached (you see, day often follows night, it’s all to do with Mars revolving around the southern hemisphere with Queen Elizabeth II at the wheel, or something…) and of course, my girlfriend was very eager to go! But hang on, I said, shouldn’t we take some water? My girlfriend agreed – between us we decided to carry 4 bottles of still water each. This was teamwork!

Carrying 8 bottles of water by myself, we headed for Disney We got on the iRide trolley, changed to the Lynx bus and then onto the monorail. Having reached the lobby of the hotel from our room, we then called for a taxi to take us to Disney World. Now the park was MAGICAL! The modern design, the olde worlde feel… and that was just the ticket office! Magic Kingdom was a million times better than I’d ever dreamed (we don’t have running tap water in England) and Animal Kingdom awe inspiring This place ruled! Of course there were bad points – the bins, the trees, even the bloomin’ water fountains all talked back at me! Luckily I got the drop on that sarcy tree and shoved it where no-one would dare go - the it’s a small world ride.

Day hastened into dusk, the husky heat chastened to a warm chill. Fireworks! They came from all around. Red rose to the left, Gold waters to the right! The paintings they etched to the sky became fast upon my heart and soul, that I might cry those tears of fire… I just hope that those flying saucers (you know, the ones that the government hush up) didn’t get freaked. That would be bad.

Traveling back to our hotel that night, I felt extremely lightweight – I put it down to all of that walking that we’d been doing. Of course, that was not it – my wallet was merely empty, possibly the result of buying stuff (e.g. lint) from within the parks. Having only the most fragile grasp upon the worth of the U.S. dollar, I had been a sitting duck. I knew that $ = less than a £ but I didn’t know by how much. I reasoned, it must be a lot less, because my wallet was full now and back in England I was always broke. Following this amazing strand of logic (?) I surmised that $24.95 was a GREAT price for candyfloss. Now I am all the wiser. $19.95 is the most I shall pay from now on, unless it’s REALLY REALLY good. Like blue candyfloss. That’s good.

Upon our return visit, I espied (much to my poor, poor girlfriend’s dismay) a huge tower of shrieking death, doom and devastation named ‘The Twilight Zone Tower Of Terror’. Naturally, I wanted in.

After taking our penicillin, we advanced towards the Animal Kingdom, where we went on a mini-safari. This was great, save for that incident where I got confused. Fortunately the lady’s name happened to be ‘Hippo’ so no harm done there

Mud wrestling guerillas is not a good idea. Be told.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and soon it was time to leave. Having packed our bags, said farewell to the lizards at Tiki Island Adventure Completely Insane Miniature Golf With The Volcano Thing we departed in a Meers minibus and after a long flight were back in merry old England. Where it rained. Incessantly. Drat. But you know what? After being levered out of my seat on the plain (I like to get settled in – often by several inches) I realized that America had been a much better destination than Zimbabwe. It had had Disney. And Disney ruled.

Thanks for putting up with me everyone, have a good one!


Rich::

 

[hucifer]

Ah Rich, you MUST type up your reports in a larger font next time. I'm 33 and couldn't read it. Well.

Also, what is candyfloss? Sounds contradictory. Like, who would think to floss with candy? Doesn't that defeat the purpose?

Another thing...I noticed you, like me, decided to post your Sept 2003 trip in Jan 2004. What is weird about it is both of us did this. Since we were there at the same time, do you remember me? I was the 5'4" chick with the 6'5" husband. I'm the cute one (see picture, left). Ring a belll?

Also, you didn't mention Epcot. Imagine flying all the way over here and not experiencing my favorite park! What is up with that?

 

[dcentity2000]

Hi there Hucifer!

Font sizes are all relative. To view fonts in a larger size, attempt to sit closer to the screen OR place the screen closer to you.

Candyfloss is a martian beverage used to cure the common cold and has proved very popular with eskimos.

I think I did see you! I was at the top of the Tower Of Terror and I think you were in the Transportation & Ticket Centre (I carry around a small telescope just in case I'm ever several stories up for whatever reason).

Unfortunately I was banned from Epcot for attempting a round of novelty golf. I don't need to draw you a picture, but needless to say I can NEVER go back there


Take it easy!

Rich::

 

[MAGICinMYHEART]

Interesting, very interesting.

Is candyfloss, what we Yanks call cottencandy? I can't believe I just called myself a Yank...Southern Gal.

 

[tazz23]

Love the report

 

[dcentity2000]

Googly googly everybody!

Yar, I guess it is cotton candy! And it's OK to be called a Yank, I mean it sounds similar, dunnit? And thanks Tazz! First you keep me from falling off that silly mono-rail thingie, now a compliment! WOW!

Take it easy on the stairs

Rich::


p.s. us English aren't called yanks, we're called stupi{The rest of this message has been censored by DIS Board Moderators for being illicit, offencive and damn stupid. Do not attempt to contact this individual. He has no brain}