"Bad Teacher" barks up the wrong tree!!!

[Maverick0980]

When you were a kid, if you came home and told your parents your teacher was mean or embarrassed you, what would their response be? I'm guessing they would side with the teacher.

That being said, while some have said displaying the grades was OK, there have been plenty of people saying the teacher shouldn't have (displayed the grades), BUT the OP still over reacted.

My Jr high history/geography teacher (had him two years in a row) always read test scores out loud. He was also not a teacher to be trifled with...... I loved him, he's still my favorite teacher I ever had. But the goof offs got dealt with. He once assigned a student extra homework for answering him, "Yes ma'am!" and flunked another on a huge assignment when he caught him cheating. With parents nowadays I'm sure he'd be hearing tons of complaints........ Even after 20 years I think his attitude was the correct way of handling students. I want DS to have teachers like him.

 

[sam_gordon]

Not necessarily. I had a PE teacher that disliked me for some reason in 6th grade. First they gave me some suggestions on how to handle it, then they talked to the teacher and the principal. Finally, there was one last straw when she said something very hurtful to me. My dad did the same thing the OP did, he stormed into the principal's office and told him that I would be moved from the PE class that day. After that day, I had a study hall with the high school kids during that class time. And I also learned the very valuable lesson that when the chips were down my Dad was ALWAYS on my side and he always had my back.

I don't believe in whole heartedly siding with anyone from the get go. There is usually some truth to what your kids say. Find the happy medium. And if your child needs you to be there to stick up for them, you should be. Its called parenting.

Its not only not "ok" to display grades it is illegal. Which may be the reason the principal was so agreeable to switch her son's class.

None of us can say she overreacted unless we know everything that has gone on between her son, herself and the teacher. It could have just been the proverbial straw and the thing that made it all come to a head. Just like the final thing that PE teacher said to me was for my dad.

I don't disagree with any of your points. However, you even mention your parents took a 3 step process to your teacher issue...
1) Give you advice on how to handle it.
2) Contact the teacher and discuss the issue.
3) Have you removed from the class.

To me, that's a totally reasonable escalation. But, according to what I remember of the OP posting, she jumped over #1 & 2 and went right to 3. That's why *I* think she overreacted.

The OP has come back and given more backstory, both about past years (Kindergarten & 3rd grade) and more about this year. I still don't remember seeing where she tried to communicate with this teacher.

And yes, I get that displaying the grades is illegal. That still doesn't mean I'm upset by it.

 

[luvsJack]

I don't disagree with any of your points. However, you even mention your parents took a 3 step process to your teacher issue...
1) Give you advice on how to handle it.
2) Contact the teacher and discuss the issue.
3) Have you removed from the class.

To me, that's a totally reasonable escalation. But, according to what I remember of the OP posting, she jumped over #1 & 2 and went right to 3. That's why *I* think she overreacted.

The OP has come back and given more backstory, both about past years (Kindergarten & 3rd grade) and more about this year. I still don't remember seeing where she tried to communicate with this teacher.

And yes, I get that displaying the grades is illegal. That still doesn't mean I'm upset by it.

And that is fine for you. But that doesn't mean that no one has the right to be upset. I wouldn't be all that upset normally either. There was one teacher that ds had that kept running to my mom in the car line after school about some dumb thing after another (one time in particular it was to fuss about his handwriting). I finally told her that she wasn't supposed to be discussing his work with my mom at all; not that I cared but to relieve my mom of her tirades.

Her son tried to talk to the teacher. He asked her not to display the project. I would have been angry too. Maybe she should have tried talking to the teacher prior to that incident but I can certainly understand her anger at the teacher for purposely humiliating her child.

 

[lukenick1]

Not necessarily. I had a PE teacher that disliked me for some reason in 6th grade. First they gave me some suggestions on how to handle it, then they talked to the teacher and the principal. Finally, there was one last straw when she said something very hurtful to me. My dad did the same thing the OP did, he stormed into the principal's office and told him that I would be moved from the PE class that day. After that day, I had a study hall with the high school kids during that class time. And I also learned the very valuable lesson that when the chips were down my Dad was ALWAYS on my side and he always had my back.

I don't believe in whole heartedly siding with anyone from the get go. There is usually some truth to what your kids say. Find the happy medium. And if your child needs you to be there to stick up for them, you should be. Its called parenting.

Its not only not "ok" to display grades it is illegal. Which may be the reason the principal was so agreeable to switch her son's class.

None of us can say she overreacted unless we know everything that has gone on between her son, herself and the teacher. It could have just been the proverbial straw and the thing that made it all come to a head. Just like the final thing that PE teacher said to me was for my dad.

Finally someone who "gets it"! Thank you! There was no time to discuss the matter with the Teacher before the incident. My ds told me about it minutes before we left the house to attend Open House. When he told me I didn't believe him, I couldn't imagine his teacher disregarding his feelings like that so I told him not to worry I'm sure she won't display the grade. Boy was I in for a shock when I saw it with my own eyes. I was furious, and I discretely took a pic of it and my husband and I walked back to the foyer, up to the Principal and quietly asked if we could speak with privately in his office. He agreed and I explained to him very tactfully how I was felt and asked him to be moved. I didn't behave like a raging mad woman, I handled myself with class and there were NO KIDS present. My 2 ds's were both looking at books at the book fair. So once again, assumptions are being made. Shocking!

 

[smitch425]

Finally someone who "gets it"! Thank you! There was no time to discuss the matter with the Teacher before the incident. My ds told me about it minutes before we left the house to attend Open House. When he told me I didn't believe him, I couldn't imagine his teacher disregarding his feelings like that so I told him not to worry I'm sure she won't display the grade. Boy was I in for a shock when I saw it with my own eyes. I was furious, and I discretely took a pic of it and my husband and I walked back to the foyer, up to the Principal and quietly asked if we could speak with privately in his office. He agreed and I explained to him very tactfully how I was felt and asked him to be moved. I didn't behave like a raging mad woman, I handled myself with class and there were NO KIDS present. My 2 ds's were both looking at books at the book fair. So once again, assumptions are being made. Shocking!

When you said in the first post...

I marched straight to the Principle and demanded my son be removed from her classroom the next morning.

What picture did you think we would have??? Your own words are responsible for these so-called assumptions. You can't blame anyone else for that.

 

[sunshinehighway]

And that is fine for you. But that doesn't mean that no one has the right to be upset. I wouldn't be all that upset normally either. There was one teacher that ds had that kept running to my mom in the car line after school about some dumb thing after another (one time in particular it was to fuss about his handwriting). I finally told her that she wasn't supposed to be discussing his work with my mom at all; not that I cared but to relieve my mom of her tirades.

Her son tried to talk to the teacher. He asked her not to display the project. I would have been angry too. Maybe she should have tried talking to the teacher prior to that incident but I can certainly understand her anger at the teacher for purposely humiliating her child.

That is just her opinion on the teacher's motivation. She never spoke to the teacher so she doesn't know why the teacher was displaying the grade. She also doesn't know what was said between her son and the teacher or if her son ever even actually talked to the teacher about it.
She has repeatedly posted about this kid lying, manipulating and misbehaving at school. She has posted about his problems with rules and authority figures.
It does seem like an overreaction to behave the way they did at the open house, including having the father and son snatching the paper and make a scene.

It seems like she is embarrassed by her child's bad grade and is overly defensive. The whole gym teacher thing sounds like a joke but since she is sensitive to her child's bad grades she uses it as another example of how teachers are out to get him.

 

[declansdad]

Finally someone who "gets it"! Thank you! There was no time to discuss the matter with the Teacher before the incident. My ds told me about it minutes before we left the house to attend Open House. When he told me I didn't believe him, I couldn't imagine his teacher disregarding his feelings like that so I told him not to worry I'm sure she won't display the grade. Boy was I in for a shock when I saw it with my own eyes. I was furious, and I discretely took a pic of it and my husband and I walked back to the foyer, up to the Principal and quietly asked if we could speak with privately in his office. He agreed and I explained to him very tactfully how I was felt and asked him to be moved. I didn't behave like a raging mad woman, I handled myself with class and there were NO KIDS present. My 2 ds's were both looking at books at the book fair. So once again, assumptions are being made. Shocking!

You could have done the same thing with the teacher, there was time. The time you used to go to the principal.

 

[scoutie]

Are you kidding me!!! We must not read the same board, there are teacher bashing threads on here all the time. It seems to be a sport for some people.

That's what I thought! I can think of three threads on here that I shared with coworkers (teachers) because people were so outrageous with their comments. A recent teaching thread has people suggesting that maybe the female teacher has a crush on their kid. I know that in response, people will point out that there have been cases of this happening, but there's always so much speculating about teacher's intentions that I don't see with other professions. I had a friend upset because her child's teacher chewed gum in class and her daughter was extremely upset because students aren't allowed to chew gum. She was going to go to the principal over this issue. I doubt that anybody would go to their doctor, lawyer or hair-stylist's boss because they were chewing gum.

 

[declansdad]

Not necessarily. I had a PE teacher that disliked me for some reason in 6th grade. First they gave me some suggestions on how to handle it, then they talked to the teacher and the principal. Finally, there was one last straw when she said something very hurtful to me. My dad did the same thing the OP did, he stormed into the principal's office and told him that I would be moved from the PE class that day. After that day, I had a study hall with the high school kids during that class time. And I also learned the very valuable lesson that when the chips were down my Dad was ALWAYS on my side and he always had my back.

I don't believe in whole heartedly siding with anyone from the get go. There is usually some truth to what your kids say. Find the happy medium. And if your child needs you to be there to stick up for them, you should be. Its called parenting.

Its not only not "ok" to display grades it is illegal. Which may be the reason the principal was so agreeable to switch her son's class.

None of us can say she overreacted unless we know everything that has gone on between her son, herself and the teacher. It could have just been the proverbial straw and the thing that made it all come to a head. Just like the final thing that PE teacher said to me was for my dad.

I agree with Sam Gordon in that your exampled involved steps, the OP's didn't. I don't think exchanging PE for study hall is a good switch though.

 

[sam_gordon]

Finally someone who "gets it"! Thank you! There was no time to discuss the matter with the Teacher before the incident. My ds told me about it minutes before we left the house to attend Open House. When he told me I didn't believe him, I couldn't imagine his teacher disregarding his feelings like that so I told him not to worry I'm sure she won't display the grade. Boy was I in for a shock when I saw it with my own eyes. I was furious, and I discretely took a pic of it and my husband and I walked back to the foyer, up to the Principal and quietly asked if we could speak with privately in his office. He agreed and I explained to him very tactfully how I was felt and asked him to be moved. I didn't behave like a raging mad woman, I handled myself with class and there were NO KIDS present. My 2 ds's were both looking at books at the book fair. So once again, assumptions are being made. Shocking!

I'm confused. I thought this incident was "the straw that broke the camels back", that you have had other issues before this. Did you discuss any of the other issues with the teacher?

Also, regarding the bolded, this is simply my opinion, but the teacher shouldn't display the grades because it's not allowed, NOT because it would hurt your child's feelings.

 

[smitch425]

I'm confused. I thought this incident was "the straw that broke the camels back", that you have had other issues before this. Did you discuss any of the other issues with the teacher?

Also, regarding the bolded, this is simply my opinion, but the teacher shouldn't display the grades because it's not allowed, NOT because it would hurt your child's feelings.

There are a lot of confusing statements being made. Like the peanut butter incident. Two totally different stories there.

 

[lukenick1]

Ok ......let's all agree to disagree. I am happy with my decision, I know the whole story and circumstances, so you can call me what you want. I'd like to move on now and be done with this thread. Now I have everyone's perspective good or bad, that was the whole point. Topic closed.

 

[luvsJack]

That is just her opinion on the teacher's motivation. She never spoke to the teacher so she doesn't know why the teacher was displaying the grade. She also doesn't know what was said between her son and the teacher or if her son ever even actually talked to the teacher about it.
She has repeatedly posted about this kid lying, manipulating and misbehaving at school. She has posted about his problems with rules and authority figures.
It does seem like an overreaction to behave the way they did at the open house, including having the father and son snatching the paper and make a scene.

It seems like she is embarrassed by her child's bad grade and is overly defensive. The whole gym teacher thing sounds like a joke but since she is sensitive to her child's bad grades she uses it as another example of how teachers are out to get him.

I am not saying that the teacher thought "oh, let me see how bad I can humiliate little Johnny". But the kid ASKED her not to put his project out as it was embarrassing at that point she knew it was. She should have either agreed to show it to his parents in private or not have the grade out or done something to make that child feel better about it.

It does not matter why the teacher displayed the grade the fact is it is against the law.

Lots of kids get into trouble or have behavioral problems. Allowing them to be embarrassed or humiliated isn't going to solve those problems. Many times it will only make it worse.

I agree with Sam Gordon in that your exampled involved steps, the OP's didn't. I don't think exchanging PE for study hall is a good switch though.

Only choice there was. And it was fun. Being in there with all of the high school students and making friends with them helped me a lot more than staying in that PE class would have.

 

[smitch425]

Ok ......let's all agree to disagree. I am happy with my decision, I know the whole story and circumstances, so you can call me what you want. I'd like to move on now and be done with this thread. Now I have everyone's perspective good or bad, that was the whole point. Topic closed.

Good luck with the rest of the school year. Thanks for the thread. It's made being stuck on the couch with illness the last few days a lot less boring.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I find it odd that some think the kid's feelings shouldn't matter. I don't get that. I don't think that is some "snowflake" thing. The boy made a request for the teacher not to show the paper. He told her why. Why is it okay for his feelings to be dismissed? Why shouldn't his request matter? Why wouldn't you want a student to have a teacher that listens and promotes a respectful relationship?

That boy got clear message from his teacher. She didn't care. Any adult could look at it a million different ways. But I can guarantee you that kid walked away thinking that teacher does not care. She didn't do a thing to make him think otherwise. That is disturbing.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Ok ......let's all agree to disagree. I am happy with my decision, I know the whole story and circumstances, so you can call me what you want. I'd like to move on now and be done with this thread. Now I have everyone's perspective good or bad, that was the whole point. Topic closed.

Sorry. Didn't see your post.

 

[luvsJack]

I find it odd that some think the kid's feelings shouldn't matter. I don't get that. I don't think that is some "snowflake" thing. The boy made a request for the teacher not to show the paper. He told her why. Why is it okay for his feelings to be dismissed? Why shouldn't his request matter? Why wouldn't you want a student to have a teacher that listens and promotes a respectful relationship?

That boy got clear message from his teacher. She didn't care. Any adult could look at it a million different ways. But I can guarantee you that kid walked away thinking that teacher does not care. She didn't do a thing to make him think otherwise. That is disturbing.

I totally agree with you. (sorry OP for saying anything more). But it is so true that that child's feelings were just pushed aside and not considered at all.

 

[sam_gordon]

I find it odd that some think the kid's feelings shouldn't matter. I don't get that. I don't think that is some "snowflake" thing. The boy made a request for the teacher not to show the paper. He told her why. Why is it okay for his feelings to be dismissed? Why shouldn't his request matter? Why wouldn't you want a student to have a teacher that listens and promotes a respectful relationship?

That boy got clear message from his teacher. She didn't care. Any adult could look at it a million different ways. But I can guarantee you that kid walked away thinking that teacher does not care. She didn't do a thing to make him think otherwise. That is disturbing.

I'm sorry, I don't think the child's feelings (in this case) do matter.
Should a child not have to dress for gym class because they're embarrassed?
Should a child not have to give an oral report because they're embarrassed? Should a child not have to do work at the blackboard because they're embarrassed?
Where do you draw the line?

To me, the only reason the teacher shouldn't have shown the grade is because she isn't allowed to (unless she gave other kids the option).

 

[pweyl36]

You may be on to something here. Call it guilt for not removing my son from his Kindergarten teachers room who did projects with peanut butter knowing my son was deathly allergic. Should have pounced then too.......

Well then,looks like all the teachers are out to get your son. Maybe you should homeschool. I have never had a problem will all 3 of childrens teachers,because if they complained I told them to talk to the teacher. They do then the problem is solved. I let them work it out them selfs and now they have great relationships with their teachers. Just loose up the cord a little and let them do things for them self. That will help his confidence.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I am not saying that the teacher thought "oh, let me see how bad I can humiliate little Johnny". But the kid ASKED her not to put his project out as it was embarrassing at that point she knew it was. She should have either agreed to show it to his parents in private or not have the grade out or done something to make that child feel better about it.

It does not matter why the teacher displayed the grade the fact is it is against the law.

Lots of kids get into trouble or have behavioral problems. Allowing them to be embarrassed or humiliated isn't going to solve those problems. Many times it will only make it worse.



Only choice there was. And it was fun. Being in there with all of the high school students and making friends with them helped me a lot more than staying in that PE class would have.

The bolded does seem to be what the Op is saying.

The boy's history shouldn't be a reason to humiliate him but it should be a reason to talk to the teacher and find out what her story is. He might not have even talked to her about being embarrassed. Perhaps, he did talk to her and was given an encouraging pep talk and told she wasn't doing it to humiliate him.